Guess what? Mas nakakasama ko pa si Charles this whole week kaysa sa boyfriend ko! Kahit may girlfriend na siya ay nagagawa niya pa ring samahan ako whenever I need someone to talk to! Mabuti na lang at hindi selosa si Karen. Sabi pa nga niya she trusts Charles. Wala rin naman siyang dapat pagdudahan sa amin dahil purong magkaibigan na lang kami ngayon.
Pero, my God, where on earth is my boyfriend? Ayon, ipinagpalit niya na talaga ako sa trabaho niya! I've been so understanding, pero sana man lang hindi niya nakakalimutan na maglaan ng kahit konting oras para sa akin! Kahit mag good morning, good noon, good evening, goodnight, I miss you, I love you, kahit iyan lang ang sabihin niya araw-araw ay masaya na ako!
Pero, wala eh! Madalang niya lang akong kinakausap this whole week!
Mabuti na lang talaga at meron kaming music room dito sa bahay kaya naiibsan ang pagtatampo ko sa kaniya!
I started to strum the guitar and I just let my hand plays any song.
🎶
I see you, beside me
It's only a dream
A vision of what used to be
The laughter, the sorrow
Pictures in time
Fading to memories
🎶
As I closed my eyes, I suddenly saw myself with. . .Charmagne. The gorgeous, sexy, and lovely Charmagne.
🎶
How could I ever let you go
Is it too late to let you know
🎶
"I'm telling you, Ara, stop being a fool. That kind of guy doesn't deserve you and will never deserve you. I'm an expert, so believe in me. Forget your feelings for him kung gusto mong makita 'yong taong karapdapat sa'yo."
I did, Juding, that's why I saw you.
🎶
I tried to run from your side
But each place I hide
It only reminds me of you
🎶
"No. She's owned by no one."
You should have owned me by now, Juding, kung hindi ka lang nahuli ng dating.
🎶
When I turn out all the lights
Even the night
It only reminds me of you
🎶
"So what? Then, you like Marcus. We're rivals. Let's see who will win Marcus's heart."
"Go on. May the best woman wins."
You were my rival in the past, but I had prayed that you're mine in the future. But, I think it will not happen anymore.
🎶
I needed my freedom
That's what I've thought
But I was a fool to believe
My heart lied while you cried
Rivers of tears
But I was too blind to see
🎶
"Kilatra, do I seem not worthy to be loved?"
"You're always worthy to be loved, Charmagne."
And even if you asked me the same question this time, I'll still say 'you're always worthy to be loved, Charles.'
🎶
So come back to me
I'm down on my knees
Boy can't you see
🎶
"Pero, Charles, have you ever had feelings for me?"
"Oo, honestly, I'd loved you."
Mas okay pa marinig iyong 'I hate you' kaysa sa 'I'd loved you' kasi mas masakit! Minahal niya ako, eh, minahal ko rin siya kaya lang hindi talaga umayon ang tadhana sa amin. Hindi man lang siya gumawa ng paraan na magkita kami kung kailan pareho pa kami ng nararamdaman.
"Ara?" napatigil ako sa pagkanta nang pumasok si Kuya Arnold.
"Bakit?" tanong ko.
"Marcus is here."
"S-Sige, susunod ako."
Nang umalis si Kuya ay saka ko lang pinakawalan ang mga luha ko.
What the hell am I doing this time? This isn't really right! This will never be right! I'm singing a song and I'm thinking about another person, this is cheating! This is no good. Sh*t!
"Marcus," nilingon niya naman ako at agad siyang napatayo.
"Did you cry?" tanong niya. Napayakap na lang ako sa kaniya bigla. My conscience suddenly hit me! "Are you okay, Bae?" nag-aalalang tanong niya.
"It's just. . .I missed you," I really do, but this isn't the main reason why the hell I am crying. Sh*t! Since when I am planning to lie at him?
"Ow, I missed you, too," aniya habang hinahaplos niya ang buhok ko. "Tahan na, I'm already here," dagdag pa niya.
I tried myself to stop weeping and even though it's really hard, at the end I did it. I showed Marcus my smile afterward, but seeing him smiles at me sweetly makes my knees tremble! Nakakapanghina talaga!
Inalalayan niya akong makaupo sa sofa. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko, then he suddenly apologized. "Sana maintindihan mo, Ara, if what kind of responsibility I am bearing this time, but promise, konti na lang talaga, hindi na ako magiging busy sa trabaho ko," aniya.
"N-Naiintindihan ko, Marcus, but please don't blame me if I am longing for your presence."
"No one should be blamed. We feel the same."
Ara, Marcus is your boyfriend! The person you love and who loves you genuinely. The person that you should think of!
CHARLES'S POV
It's been five months since we're back here in the Philippines and I think this is becoming too long. Bumalik lang naman kasi ako ng Pinas para kay Ara, pero ang nangyari ay wala na pala akong babalikan.
We're planning to go back to California after two or three weeks. May ginagawa pa kasi si Karen, eh, if she ain't doing something, probably, matagal na kaming umalis ng bansa.
And since we're about to leave this country, minabuti kong makasama si Ara ngayon. I'll just take this as our last moment together because I don't even know if after we go back to California ay makakabalik pa kami ng Pinas.
Kasalukuyan kaming nasa balcony ng kwarto ko. This is my favorite spot when evening comes that's why I want us to spend our last moment here.
"Big Sis," pumagitna sa amin si Ynna at yumakap siya kay Ara.
Halata namang nagtataka siya dahil kanina pa talaga yakap nang yakap si Ynna. Hindi kasi namin sinabi sa kaniyang malapit na kaming umalis. Ayoko ring sabihin sa kaniya kasi kahit wala ng kasiguraduhan na magkikita kami ulit ay ayoko pa ring magpaalam kami sa isa't isa.
"Are you happy?" tanong ni Ynna sa kaniya.
"Of course," nakangiti niya namang sagot.
"But, if ever Dad is your boyfriend this time—"
"Ynna!" sinuway ko naman siya agad, pero umasta lang siyang walang narinig
". . .will you still be happy?" dugtong pa niya.
"Ynna, you're making her feel uncomfortable," muli kong suway sa kaniya, but then, she still giving no damn at all!
"Oo naman," sagot naman ni Ara habang nasa malayo ang tingin niya.
"Alright. I'm not gonna make you uncomfortable anymore. But I just want to remind you, Big Sis, that if you happened to have feelings for another man and you're presently having a boyfriend, then you don't really love him. . ."
Oh, damn! Gustong-gusto kong pigilan si Ynna sa mga pinagsasabi niya, pero hindi ko magawa! I am just staring at Ara while she's still looking at elsewhere.
". . .because if you do, then you won't find someone else. You should be happy and contented with him. And one more thing, I want the two of you to realize that you're not supposed to love two people at a time. You may say you love them both, but deep inside you know who's really the person you truly love," she hugged us again for the last time before she told us that it's time for her to take a rest.
Bahagya akong natawa habang si Ara ay hindi pa rin makapaniwala sa mga narinig niya. "Don't mind what she'd said, Kilatra," sabi ko. I don't want her to be confused because of what Ynna has uttered.
"What if. . .she's right?" this time, she's now looking at me, we're now looking at each other's eyes!
"Ha?"
"What if I have feelings for another man now?"
"Ara."
Sh*t! She shouldn't be asking these questions!
"What if I still love you, Charles?"
Oh, God! I can't be happy hearing her asking me that!
"Do you also feel what I am feeling?" tanong na naman niya.
But, sh*t! Why the hell we're getting closer and closer?!
"I've been thinking about you, Charles. . .I've been reminiscing our beautiful memories. . .I. . .I still love you—"
Oh, freaking sh*t! I haven't stopped myself! I. . .yes, I did! I kissed her!
"Sor—" she never let me apologized, instead. . .we shared another unforgettable kiss.
Oh, God! This is the luscious lips I've ever tasted! It's as soft and as sweet as a marshmallow! Ito iyong tipo ng halik na kahit kailan ay hindi mo pagsasawaan! At ayokong magsinungaling, ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagmamahal at pananabik namin sa isa't isa.
But, sh*t! Why does this have to end?! Tsk!
I don't even know if that kiss lasted for only seconds or minutes, basta when our lips parted, we're both chasing for our breath.
"Sh*t! W-What did we do, Juding? Sh*t, hindi dapat natin 'yon ginawa. It was wrong!"
"Ara!" hinabol ko siya agad at nang maabutan ko siya ay agad ko siyang hinawakan. "I'll never be regretful that we do it," sabi ko, pero umiling lang siya.
"You have a girlfriend. . .I have a boyfriend. . .What we did was a damn mistake, Charles! We're both cheaters!" sigaw niya at gusto ko sana siyang yakapin, pero tuluyan na siyang umalis.
Sh*t!
"Charles."
"K-Karen."
Ngumiti siya at saka siya napailing. "Hindi naman talaga tayo, pero iba ang alam niya. Mahal mo naman talaga siya, pero itinago mo pa. Mahal ka niya, pero naguguluhan siya. But you kissed when you don't even have a label at all! Dapat kasi matagal ni'yo nang kinlaro ang lahat. Matagal na kayong nag-aminan, edi sana noong naghalikan na kayo, eh hindi na iyon mali!" hindi ko alam kung disappointed ba siya o galit siya sa akin, basta kunot na kunot ang noo niya!
"Pero, Karen, kung nagkaaminan ba kami ni Ara ay hihiwalayan niya si Marcus?" naguguluhang tanong ko.
"Posible, kasi alam kong mahal ka niya at kapag nalaman niyang mahal mo siya, eh bakit niya pa itatali ang sarili niya sa taong hindi niya na mahal? Charles, matalino si Ara, kapag hindi niya hihiwalayan si Marcus tapos pareho ni'yong mahal ang isa't isa ay alam niyang kayong tatlo ang masasaktan. At kung pipili siya, I know she'll surely choose you."
Napaupo ako sa upuan at mariing ipinikit ang aking mga mata. "Dapat sinabi mo na 'yan sa akin noon pa," sabi ko.
"Charles, I've been persuading you to confess, pero hindi mo ginawa! Pareho lang kayo ni Ara na nakiki-go with the flow! Oh, tingnan ni'yo anong nangyari ngayon? Nagsisisi kayo!"
She's right! She's damn right!
"Karen, tatapusin ko na 'to," medyo nagtaka naman siya sa sinabi ko. "Hindi na ako magpapakita kay Ara, ayokong maghiwalay sila ni Marcus kasi alam kong masaya naman siya sa kaniya. She cares for him, she loves him, too! Kaya I'll end this now. Huwag na nating paabutin pa ng two weeks, umalis na tayo agad."
"Ano?! Tatakasan mo 'to? CHARLES?!"
Hindi ko na siya sinagot pa dahil umakyat na ako sa itaas.
Pero, hindi ako tatakas. Gagawin ko lang kung ano iyong tama. And that is to stay away from her and never come back.