I drank a lot of beer tonight casuing me to spit every bitterness that happened years ago. Ryu went to take the board exam after everything that had happened, I stayed in college doing the best I can para maipasa lahat ng subjects. Everything went back to the way it used to be before he and I gotten close.
Sundays are still our family time, ang pinagkaiba lang, Ryu would always excuse himself after eating or kadalasan hindi na talaga siya pumupunta at nagdadahilan na busy siya. I think it was for the better, not seeing him would make me move on from him faster. Jigs and Cece were the only two people who knew everything about us.
I don't know what happened with VRE's proposal to Ryu's parents na ipakasal ang anak nila kay Ryu. We never talk about it at family get togethers or kahit sila Mommy and Daddy. Pero sa mga nangyayari ngayon, I believe they're going to push it through.
Months passed and everyone was happy for Ryu when he passed and topped the board exam. I was secretly cheering for him but I chose not to come at his party at dinahilan na busy ako sa school. Simula noon, hindi na talaga kami masyadong nagkita ni Ryu. He started working at NCFMC while continued to pursue to become a Professional Mechanical Engineer.
He really did earned his way to the top at ngayon, naabot niya na lahat ng pangarap niya. He is now the CEO of the company after all the efforts he exerted to reach this position. When I knew I will be working for NCFMC after quite some time, I was worried and scared. After years of avoiding Ryu, here I am, working under him.
I smirked at the irony of my life. I was so sure na I would never let him have an effect on me before I started working at NCFMC. Pero habang tumatagal na magkatrabaho kami, I saw in him again what I saw before. I saw the things I loved and hated about him. Ang kinaibahan lang, Julianna is in the picture habang ako? I remain as a family friend.
Nahihilo na ako and Ryu was there right in front of me. I can't believe na after 5 years, I finally told him what I saw. Siguro dala na rin ng alcohol kaya nagkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na sabihin sa kanya. Nahihilo man ako, nakikita kong lumalapit siya sa akin at tinabihan ako.
Kumuha ulit ako ng isa pang beer at dire-diretso kong ininom iyon. Hinarap ko siya, my vision is getting blurry, the world is spinning but I still managed to face him. "How could you kiss another woman when I was clearly in love with you, Ryu? How could you just leave without fighting for me? How could you let me just walk away? God, I was ready to pour my heart for you but you never fought for me." I asked and laughed.
"Binigay ko naman sayo lahat pero nakuha mo pa rin akong lokohin. Tapos ngayon, bigla mo na naman akong susuyuin dahil iniipit ka na ng pamilya ng fiancé mo. I told you five years ago, I am not a fucking back up plan! Why do I have to be the one again? Why can't you just marry her without hurting me again?" galit kong sabi, kumuha ulit ako ng isang beer at ininom ko iyon.
Sinubukan akong pigilan ni Ryu pero I insisted until naubos ko ulit ang laman ng bote. He remained quiet habang nakatitig sa akin. "Hanggang ngayon, ginagawa mo pa rin akong backup diyan sa relasyon niyo ni Julianna. Okay naman tayo na we're civil especially at work, why do you have to offer marriage to me? Why are you breaking my heart again, Ryu? Am I going to be your backup plan for the rest of our lives?" I said as my head starts spinning because of the alcohol.
I was feeling dizzy. Gusto ko nang mahiga o kahit na makasandal lang man at baka bumagsak pa ako rito. I was trying to lift my eyes para mawala ang antok ko but I failed. Naramdaman ko na lang ang kamay ni Ryu sa balikat at sa likod ng tuhod ko. I feel like I am floating into thin air. Maya maya ay naramdaman ko ang lambot sa aking likod. Hmm, is this the bed? This feels nice and soft. I felt my lips smiled.
"Why don't you answer all my questions, Ryu?" pilit kong tanong sa kanya kahit na nakapikit na ang mata ko.
"You're drunk, Ky. Let's talk tomorrow. Please get some sleep." I heard Ryu's soft voice habang inaayos ang hinihigaan ko.
"Pfft, stop making me fall for you again." I whispered.
Inayos niya ang katawan ko sa pagkakahiga, kinumutan niya ako and felt his lips on my forehead. My eyes remained close as it feels heavy. Nakaramdam ako na umuga ang kama at nawala ang mga unan sa gitna. He reached for my waist and pulled me closer to him. He positioned my head on his arms.
I felt his hug getting tighter. Hinalikan niya muli ang noo ko. "Please get some sleep, baby. We'll talk when you're not drunk." He whispered. I smiled, "I know you're going to break my heart again, jerk."
His hug got tighter, "I won't break your heart this time, baby." Lambing niyang bulong. I felt myself nod as my eyes get heavier and felt myself drift to sleep.
Nagising ako sa sakit ng ulo ko. I opened my eyes wandering where I am. It was dark inside, the blinds are closed. Tiningnan ko ang orasan sa tapat ng kama, alas diyes na pala ng umaga. Gumalaw ako when I realized na may nakapalupot na kamay sa akin, nagulat ako at sinubukang umatras but Ryu was quick to reach for me and lock me in his arms.
"W-what happened? Where are the pillows? Why are you locking me in your arms?" I asked as I tried to escape his embrace. Lalong sumakit ang ulo ko when I remembered everything last night. Napapikit ako habang naalala ko ang paglalahad ko sa kanya sa katotohanang nangyari limang taon na ang nakalipas.
You're so stupid, Ky. How can you be so weak and let him see how fragile you were? Years of putting up a front na nakamove on ka na ay nawala lang ng ganoon.
"L-let me go, Ryu." Mahina kong sabi. Ramdam ko ang pag-iling niya. "Nope, not this time. Not anymore."
Bumuntong hininga ako, "Pero hindi ako makahinga ngayon, Ryu." Bigla niyang niluwagan ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin. Nanatili pa rin ang mga kamay niya na nakapalupot sa katawan ko. Nanatili akong nakayuko.
He reached for my chin and made me face him, "I'm sorry I never fought for you, Ky. I'm sorry for letting you just walk away. I was stupid back then. I didn't realize na dapat pala pinaglaban kita, dapat pala hindi tayo umabot sa ganito. I was blindsided by the fact that you accused me na niloloko lang kita. I was angry too. Baka sarili ko lang inisip ko noon. Di ko naisip na sobra kitang nasaktan. Nabulag ako sa sinabi mong niloloko lang kita."
"Lahat ng nangyari at lahat ng pinakita ko sayo dati, totoo lahat. Walang pagpapanggap o kasinungalingan. Damn, I was very much in love with you. I didn't understand how could you think that I was only playing you." Dugtong niya habang nanatiling nakatitig sa aking mga mata.
His soft eyes on me is making me weak. "I didn't kiss Julianna, she kissed me. I was a jerk for not telling you before kaya nagsisisi ako. I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused and given you."
His lips twitched into a bitter smile. He pulled me closer to him, once again. I remained quiet. Unable to speak. "I hope you will forgive me. I promise, I will make it up to you." His husky voice whispered into my ears.
I am trying to absorb all the things that he was telling me. Pero ganunpaman, hindi ko pa rin magawang magtanong sa kanya sa tunay na estado ng relasyon nila ni Julianna. I tried to get away with the discussion.
"C-can I take a shower now?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan. I heard him chuckled as he released me. "Okay, I'll make breakfast for us then. Tumango ako at mabilis na tumayo sa kama. Dumiretso ako sa banyo para makaligo.
Pinaandar ko ang gripo ng bath tub saka ako naghubad ng damit. Pinuno ko ang tubig at nilagay ang bubble soap dito. Maya maya ay pumasok na ako sa bathtub at nagbabad. I stayed there habang iniisip ko ang nangyari kagabi. You and your drunk ass, Ky. You always cause trouble when you're drunk. Ugh.
I wet my hair and washed my body. Trying to remove the drunkness out of my body. I can smell the coffee from here. Yes, that is what I need now; coffee. I finished taking a bath and rinsed my body. I wiped my body with the towel and put on my robe. Lumabas ako ng banyo at saktong nakahain na sa mesa ang breakfast.
Ryu cooked eggs, bacon, and rice. Coffee is served as well. He smiled and pulled the chair. Tumango ako at umupo na rin. Umupo rin siya agad sa tabi ko at pinaglagyan ako ng pagkain sa plato. We ate in silence. I sipped my coffee and continued eating without uttering a word.
Nang matapos kami, nagpresenta ako na ko na ang maghuhugas since siya naman nagluto. "Okay, then. Shower lang ako." I cleaned the table at dumiretso siya sa banyo. I washed the dishes and put them aside.
Kinuha ko ang bag ko para makabihis na. I wore my floral printed square neck dress with puffed sleeves. Sinuklay ko ang mahabang buhok ko. I hanged the robe sa isang coat stand na nasa sulok na bahagi ng villa.
My phone rang, it was Cece. "Yes, apparently, I am on leave. Uhm, with Ryu. Lower your voice, Cece. Yes, I'll tell you everything when we get back. Sunday evening. Yes, we will talk on Monday." The phone call ended. Nagulat ako nang magsalita si Ryu sa likod ko, "Who was it?"
He was only wearing a towel from his waist down, hair still wet and messy. Sinuklay niya ito gamit ang kamay niya. "S-si Cece. Just wanted to know where I was." He smiled. Lumapit siya sa akin, agad akong yumuko but he just picked up his bag na nasa tabi ng bag ko. "I'll just change."
Tumango lang ako at tumalikod na sa kanya. He headed back to the bathroom dala dala ang mga damit na kinuha niya sa kanyang bag para magbihis. Nakasandal ako sa sliding door at nakaharap sa pool habang pinagmamasdan ang langit at nilalanghap ang hangin na galing sa labas.
Bumalik siya at nakabihis na, wearing his usual white tshirt, and a shorts. Tinabihan niya ako sa kinakatayuan ko habang nakatingin sa akin. "Wanna have some fun at the beach?" aya niya nang nakangiti.
I smiled back at him and he extended his hands for me to hold. "Okay." Tinitigan ko ang kanyang kamay pero sa huli ay kinuha ko rin iyon. Nakangiti niya akong hinila palabas ng bahay para magtungo sa dagat.
The walk from the villa to the beach is a little bit long pero kung ganitong tanawin naman ang makikita mo, you wouldn't mind. Nag-aagawan ng kulay ang langit at ang dagat, nagsisiliparan ang mga ibon sa taas. We were walking hand in hand habang may mga nakakasalubong din kaming mga guests ng resort. Medyo marami na ang tao ngayon since weekend na.
The white sand of the beach is so fine and the palm trees that surrounded us blocked the heat of the sun. The cool breeze of the air is relaxing and peaceful. I want the calmness the nature is bringing to me.