Nick
"Hoy Nick! Wag mo naman takutin ang mga alaga ko!" sigaw niya sa akin.
Abala siya sa paghahanda ng meryenda.
"Gabby-dear, hindi ko siya tinatakot I'm trying to pet him," paliwanag ko as I continued with what I'm doing.
It's nice to see Gabby smiling again after almost a year of apathy. Maybe she's still hurt but tries to conceal it with a smile.
We still don't have news about Xavier, If I ever see him again I'm going to punch him on the face.
He didn't know how much pain he had caused.
***
For the first months of Xavier's absence, Gabby looks like a Zombie, a living dead. When he left she took her heart with him. I catch her looking blankly as if thinking deeply and didn't notice that she's already crying. She always want to spend her time being alone. She's not speaking unless she has too. All she do was work that's all. But as the days passed she change, not the way she was before. It's like a new Gabby was born.
"Gabby-d..err, nagyaya si Donna mag-lunch. Namimiss ka na daw niya," aya ko sa kanya.
"Kayo na lang, dito na lang ako," tanggi niya.
"Okay ka lang?" tanong ko.
"I'm fine, next time sasama na ako," tipid niyang sagot.
"Sabi mo yan ahh," paniniguro ko.
"Yes, my treat," she said.
"Ayun oh," sabi ko nama.
"Sige na, mag-lunch ka na," taboy niya sa akin.
Gone was the annoyed Gabby everytime I tease her. She was like, go do your thing I don't care. She changed the way she dresses, which is I think better. She was not a cheerful person before but now she often smiles to everyone.
But I know better, she's just showing this facade but inside she's still not okay. Her heart is still broken into pieces.
***
We had a meeting with a client today and I informed her that we might have a drink with them later that night.
She was wearing a decent dress not showing too much skin but still looks attractive. I can't help but put my eyes on her. She is quite different now, di na siya nahihiyang makipag kwentuhan sa mga client at makipag tawanan sa kanila.
Natatakot rin ako dahil di niya tinatanggihan ang mga binibigay na drinks sa kanya. I've been a jerk too and I know there is someone eyeing at her and might drug her.
Alam ko naman kaya ni Gabby ang sarili niya,but she is not in her normal state, she's vulnerable.
As soon as I had the chance I grabbed her to the dance floor. Tiningala niya ako with her sleepy but questioning eyes an indication that she is drunk.
"Hey! I remember this scene," sabi niya. Wearing a crease on her forehead.
We stood there but we are not dancing.
"Are you trying to hit on me again Nick?" she asked sheepishly.
I could take advantage of her in this very instance, but I wont. I'm not the guy I'm used to be.
"Nick is that you?" nilingon kung sino man ang nagsalita, isang babae I can say she's pretty but I can't really remember her.
"It's really you," kumpirma nito.
"Yes, it's him. And you are?" Napabaling akong muli kay Gabby na nakataas ang isang kilay na tila nagtataray.
"I'm Shiela, you are?" tanong niya.
"Wait, Nick is she your date?" tila nanunuyang tanong nito sa akin.
"Di ko alam, bumaba na pala ang standard mo," sabi pa nito.
I was about to answer when Gabby started to talk.
"So what if I am his date? does it have anything to do with you? and you even saaid lowered his standard?" Gabby smirked, I can say she's pissed.
"If I'm low standard, then what are you? very very low standard?"
I wanted to stop Gabby, because I kinda have an idea of what will happen next.
"What did you say?" inis na sigaw ni Shiela.
Napansin ko ang pagbaling ng atensyon sa amin ng mga tao.
"You heard it, I don't like repeating myself. Don't act all mighty as if you don't have any flaw. Don't even try to build a commotion or I'll punch your face," she said. I can say that she's trying to intimidate Shiela.
"Hey girls relax," pagitna ko sa kanila. Bahagya kong hinila si Shiela palayo.
"Uhmm Shiela nice seeing you again but I have someone with me, I'll call you after this." I said trying to sound flirty.
"Okay Nick, I'll wait for you," sabi nito and smiled seductively habang naglakad palayo.
I turned again to face Gabby, but to my horror she's not there anymore. She was dancing with this guy whom I don't know.
I can feel the tension rising so I walk towards them.
"Excuse me Bro, but she's with me."
"Oh, I'm sorry I thought she's alone. You should put your eye on her, your girl is hot," he said while backing-off. I just shrug off the last part he said, but I agree with him.
Binaling ko ang tingin ko kay Gabby na sumasayaw pa rin.
"Gabby, umupo na tayo," pag-aaya ko sa kanya.
"Ayoko, kaka umpisa ko pa lang eh, samahan mo na lang ako," hagikhik niya.
Ngayon lang ata umipekto sa kanya ang nainom niya. I have no choice but to accompany her. Throwing eye daggers to any guy who comes near her. She is dancing as if she's happy and got no problems, all I can do is to be by her side.
As soon as we took our seats she started drinking again.
"Why aren't you drinking?" tanong sakin ni Gabby.
Now her eyes is on me.
"You should drink Nick," sabi naman ng kasama naming si Josh.
Josh is our client and he will take a no for an answer. I was really trying to control my drinking. I don't wanna get drunk knowing I need to take Gabby home.But I guess I cant help it.
...
"Minessage ko na si kuya di ako uuwi," pagbibigay alam niya sa akin.
"Ehh? bakit di ka uuwi?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Lashing ehh," she was laughing out if nowhere.
Her words are slurred but we could still understand each other.
"Saan ka matutulog?" takang tanong ko.
We are walking side by side she could barely walk straight.
"Shecreettt." Her words are slurred.
Di ko alam pero natatawa ako sa kinikilos niya.
"Saan nga?" tanong ko.
"Sha baaahaaay muuu?"
"Bahay ko?" Takang tanong ko.
Tumango siya.
"Di naman ako pwedeng umuwi, Di mo naman ako pagsasamantalahan diba? hihihi" She grinned at me. I tried calling Donna.
"Don! Gabby is drunk. Can you pick her up?" pakiusap ko.
"Papa Nick naman ehh, out of town ako. Ikaw na bahalang mag-alaga kay Gabby kaya mo 'yan. Alaga lang, don't take advantage of her, masusuntok kita!" banta niya sa akin.
"Yah, I know. Sige enjoy ka na lang."
Nilingon ko si Gabby she was, intently looking at me. Nang bigla na lang siyang ngumawa.
"Gabby what did I do?" natatarantang tanong ko habang pinapatahan siya."
"Ayaw niyo na sa'kin lahat, iiwan nyo na rin ako."
"That's not true okay, we won't leave you. I won't leave you, so please stop crying. People might hear you and get the wrong idea," sabi ko sa kanya.
In an instant she stopped crying and grinned at me and started hugging me. Di ko na-imagine na ganito siya malasing. I drove her to my condo unit.
Literal na nag-sleep walking siya habang inaaalalayan ko siya papasok sa sa unit ko, saka ko siya tinulungang maupo sa sofa. Kailangan kong palitan ang damit niya.
But how will I even do that?
She slightly opened her eyes, and tried to stand up.
"Saan ka pupunta?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Saan CR niyo?" tanong niya.
"Bakit?" tanong ko rin.
"Nasusuka ako," I panicked upon hearing what she said I immediately accompanied her to the rest room. I was holding her hair up habang sumusuka siya sa toilet bowl.
" Kuya! Ayoko na! Di na ako maglalasing," sabi niya sa pagitan ng bawat suka niya.
Nang matapos siya ay flinush niya ito saka siya tumayo at naghilamos sa sink.
"Nick, pahiram damit, magbibihis ako," sabi niya habang pikit ang mga mata.
Taranta akong pumasok sa kwarto ko at kumuha ng t-shirt and a short at inabot iyon sa kanya.
"Thank you," she grinned.
Kahit lasing I still find her cute. Lumabas siya sa banyo, nakapagpalit na rin ako ng damit. Natawa ako sa get-up nya, but she still look cute on an oversized tshirt. Nakapikit ang isang matang lumapit siya sa akin.
"Matulog na tayo," sabi niya.
Hinila niya ako papasok sa kwarto, sumampa siya kama at nahiga.
I was about to leave nang hilain niya ang laylayan ng damit ko.
"Don't leave please," she asked while pouting like a child.
I had a choice to leave, but I chose to stay beside her. Sumampa ako sa kama at nahiga sa tabi niya. Hindi ito ang unang beses na may makatabi akong babae sa kama. But sleeping beside Gabby feels different. Ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko.
I have to restrain myself, it's funny that I'm intoxicated with alcohol but I could still control my desire. I laid straight while she was hugging me like a pillow. I can't move due to nervousness. I promised her and Donna that I will not take advantage of her weakness.
"What did I do to deserve this punishment?"
Nang pakiramdam ko ay nakatulog na siya ay sinubukan kong alisin ang pagkakayakap niya sa akin, but then she started sobbing.
"Gabby?" tawag ko sa kanya.
"Xi, don't leave again please," she whispered.
"Gabby, are you okay?"
Naupo ako at niyugyog ko siya para magising until she slightly opened her eyes .
"Nasaan si Xi?" tanong niya sa akin, saka siya umupo. Gumala ang paningin niya sa paligid.
"He's not here." I hate to break it to her.
"Hindi andito siya, kausap ko siya kanina, sabi niya di na siya aalis ulit."
"Gabby, it's just your dream," paliwanag ko sa kanya.
"Hindi, andito siya bumalik siya. Binalikan niya ako," Dali dali siyang tumayo at lumabas ng kwarto.
Sinundan ko siya, pinanood ko siya habang hinahanap si Xi.
"Xi! Lumabas ka na please, di naman ako galit. Magpakita ka na please." Bigla na lamang siyang napahagulgol.
Maybe she realized that Xi was really not here that it was just a dream.
"Magpapakabait na ako, please 'wag mo akong iwan. Magpapaganda na ako, I will do my best to be sweet," sabi niya habang umiiyak.
I can't help myself but to walk towards her and hug her. I can't ease the pain she's feeling, all I can give to her is my presence.
Lalo siyang umiyak.
"Bakit bigla ka na lang umalis? Sabi mo gusto mo ako, Di ka man lang nagpaalam may ginawa ba akong di mo nagustuhan? May iba ka na bang gusto?" These are the questions left unanswered.
Seeing her like this breaks my heart.
"Tahan na, Gabby," sabi ko while rubbing her back, trying to console her.
"Kaya ko naman magbago kung yun ang gusto mo. Kaya kong maging mature para sayo. Kaya ko naman magbago ehh," sabi niya.
"Shhh, Gabby tama na. Don't blame yourself hindi ka nagkulang. Di mo kailangang baguhin ang sarili mo para sa isang tao."
She was still crying as I was directing her to walk back to the room.
"Rest now Gabby, you've cried too much tears for someone you shouldn't cry for," I said bitterly.
"He is worth every tear that I shed because I love him," I was taken aback from what she said.
"Just sleep for now Gabby,please," I pleaded.
Sumampa siyang muli sa kama at nahiga, I just sat on the bed side and watch her as she tries to sleep. As soon as I felt that she's sound asleep I got up and laid on the sofa.
The way she acted made me pissed, how could Xavier do this to her. I need his explanation. She loved him too much. I'm not over her yet, pero bakit ganun. Kahit wala rito si Xavier pakiramdam ko talo pa rin ako. Kahit anong kasalanan niya handa siyang patawarin ni Gabby.
Should I pursue her now to save her from her misery? Maybe I could teach her heart to forget about Xavier. Or am I the one who should forget about her and teach my heart to move on?
< End of Chapter forty-three >