"Nasaan ka na ba?!" Sigaw ko sa kabilang linya.
Kung kailan kailangang- kailangan ko siya saka siya hindi pwede! Nakakainis!
"I have an emergency."
"Emergency my ass," sabi ko saka umirap. As if naman makikita niya. "Isa lang naman ang dahilan kaya mo ako natatanggihan sa emergency ko," reklamo ko, making sure I emphasize the word emergency so he will know what I mean.
Tumingin ako sa harap at nakita ang sarili sa salamin. I stared at my eyes and breathe.
You can do this Cassidy. You always do.
"Cassie-"
"I hate you." Putol ko sa iba niyang sasabihin saka ibinaba ang tawag.
Tiningnan kong muli ang sarili sa salamin. "Seems like the only guy you allowed in your life already turned his back to you, huh?"
Kinuha ko ang pouch ko saka inilabas ang mga make up. I fixed myself, not caring of other females entering the restroom. I applied some foundation and highlighted my face features. My brows were already on flick same as my eyes which still looked fine. Then I added another layer of lipstick on my lips. I finger comb my hair and tuck strands that blocked my face.
Nang matapos ay pinasadahan ko ang pulang dress na suot ko na humahapit sa aking katawan. The halter dress highlights my curves and my long legs. Idagdag pa ang 3 inches heels na suot ko. I smiled and swayed my hips out.
Pagkalabas ay maingay na agad sa club. Amoy sigarilyo at alak sa paligid habang may makulay na pailaw. Mula sa kinatatayuan ko ay kitang kita ko na ang mga nagsasayawan pero hindi doon natuon ang pansin ko. I sighed an audible one.
Just turn him down again, Cassidy.
Humugot ako ulit ng hininga. Bakit ba kasi ang kulit nito? Ito 'yung mahirap sa ganitong sitwasyon kapag nasarapan na sila sa mga nangyayari. Ayaw na bumitaw paminsan. Ayaw ka nang pakawalan. I rolled my eyes.
You can do it, I cheered myself again.
Nagdirediretso lang ako ng lakad at hindi pinansin si Garry pero nahablot niya na ang braso ko. Muntik na akong ma-out of balance but I still manage to keep my posture and stood with confidence.
"Ano ba?! Tapos na nga tayo!" I tried to shout the loudest so people around me will notice us. This time, he can't harm me. There are people watching us. Hindi niya ako mapagbubuhatan ng kamay.
"What's that, Cass? Gano'n gano'n na lang?"
I looked at him coldly. "We played. I'm bored." Tinitigan ko siya sa mata para malaman niyang seryoso ako. "I'm done."
People were already gapping at us but the loud music and yell in the club was enough not to give up what we're talking about.
Garry was actually a good catch. But then he started to get attached to me which violated the rules set from the beginning; that no feelings is allowed.
He's good. So good. But when I called it quits, ayaw na niyang pumayag. He asked for another chance while having sex with me, near my orgasm and that was one of the dumbest decisions I've made. Damn it. If only my body can resist him.
But that was a lesson learned. That chance shouldn't be given. Because slowly, he's starting to hurt me physically. And I was stupid enough to let him do it to me twice. Now, I was done. But my ego won't let me admit it that somehow, I let him in my walls even for a very short period of time. That I actually allowed a man to hurt me again; but this time, physically.
"No, we're not." Naramdaman kong bumabaon sa baraso ko ang mga kamay niya. Nanlilisik ang mga mata nito sa galit, idagdag pa ang impluwensya ng alak na naaamoy ko mula sa bibig niya.
"Let go of me." I looked at him in the eye too. Nang hindi siya nagpatinag ay sumigaw na ako. "I said let go of me!"
Sinubukan kong hatakin ang kamay ko pero hindi siya bumibitaw. Instead, His grasped only tightened everytime. Muntik na akong mapadaing pero pinigilan ko ang sarili. I won't give him another ticket to scare and abuse me further.
Sumimple ako ng tingin sa paligid kung may tutulong ba pero mukhang wala talaga. Mga chismoso lang talaga, 'no? Gusto kong magpapadyak.
Ugh! It's all Rencey's fault! And Why the heck did I forgot that Garry have a share on this club? Of course, no one will dare to fight him! They will be ban or fired! I am sooo dead!
I mean, I knew martial arts. But heck, I'm in a dress! Hindi bagay sa outfit ko kung makikipagrambulan lang pala ako, ano!
"Ano ba! Bitawan mo na nga ako! Magpapasa 'yan!" Pilit ko pa ring hinahatak ang kamay ko pero dahil napuno na ako ay tumigil ako sa pagpupumiglas at bigla na lang siyang sinuntok sa mukha. Narinig ko ang pagsinghap ng ilang audience pero wala roon ang atensyon ko.
Nabitawan niya ako dahil sa suntok ko kaya naman dali ko ring sinupa ang pinakaiingatan niya, making sure hindi niya ako mahahabol agad kung tatakbo ako. Napahawak siya roon dahil sa sakit kaya napangiwi ako ng mapaluhod siya.
Shit! Did I really kick it that hard? Gago, sayang!
Gaga ka, Cass. That shouldn't be what you're thinking!
Tatakbo na saka ako pero nahagip pa niya ang aking kamay kahit nakayuko pa. Iniikot ko iyon para mabitawan niya ako pero humigpit lang ang kapit niya sa akin. Susuntukin ko sana ulit siya pero nasapo niya na ang kamay ko. He smirked. I looked at him murderously. Battling with his stares. I won't blink. I won't look down. That will only show him weakness. So even if he grasped like hell, I raise my head up high.
"Ano ba! Nasisira poise ko sa'yo!"
He laughed darkly. "At iyan pa talaga ang naisip mo?"
Inirapan ko lang siya. Readying myself para umatake na talaga dahil nasasaktan na ako.
Iiikot ko na sanang muli ang kamay ko para mabitawan niya ako saka siya sisipain pero may nauna nang kamao na tumama sa kaniyang pisngi.
Napasubsob si Garry sa lapag dahil na rin siguro sa lakas ng pagkakasuntok at dahil sa kalasingan. Napatingin ako sa lalaki at napakunot ang noo ko. Why now when I was ready to take him down seriously?
Nagulat ako ng bigla niya akong hatakin. Naiwan 'yung ibang tao doon pati na rin 'yung ibang walang kwentang bouncer na takot naman sa amo nila. Kunyare pa hindi nila alam, napansin ko naman na napapatingin na sila sa gawi namin.
"I'm not a damsel in distress!" I shouted at the man pulling me out of the club. Dahil madilim ang paligid ay hindi maiwasang may mabangga kami lalo na 'yung ibang pagewang-gewan na maglakad. Magpoprotesta pa dapat ako pero lalabas rin naman ako so pinabayaan ko na siya na hatakin ako. Saka baka maabutan rin talaga ako ni Garry sa loob kung mag-iinarte pa ako.
Nang makarating kami sa parking lot ay tiningnan ko siya ng masama. "I'm on a fucking heels, idiot!"
Tumataas-baba ang dibdib niya dahil sa pagtakbo. Maski naman ako ay hinihingal dahil roon.
I flipped my mermaid curled hair on the back because I suddenly felt hot. I even felt some sweat on my neck kaya naman kinuha ko ang panyo ko at pinunasan ito.
"Sorry about that." I just rolled my eyes at him. Men! Never talaga nilang maiintindihan ang mga babae! Hatakin ba naman ako ng naka-heels?!
Nang matapos ako sa ginagawa ko ay tumalikod na ako. I pursed my lips. Saan ko nga ba inilagay ang kotse k-
"Shit." Napasapo ako sa aking noo. "Cass, bakit mo kinalimutan na wala kang dalang kotse!"
Really, it's all Terrence's fault!
I was thinking of ways to get out of here when I heard him yell.
"Hey!"
Napabaling ako at nakita ang lalaki kanina. He's in faded jeans and a simple white statement shirt paired with a Chuck Taylor shoes.
"What?"
"You're Cassie, right?"
Napataas ang isang kilay ko. "Why?"
"Terrence told me to look for you."
Napakunot ang noo ko. That asshole! It's all his fault why I'm suffering all this circumstances! At bakit niya ako pinapatingnan kung kanikanino? Ganito na lang palagi?!
"Where is he?"
"May inaasikaso daw-"
"Well, tell him pinapainit niya ang ulo ko. Also, he's receiving invisible treatment," pagkasabi ko noon ay tumalikod na ako. Ilan ba ang alagad noon? Ang dami niya namang 'friends' who can make his bidding.
"Wait!" he called pero hindi ko na siya pinansin.
Now, my problem is how will I go home. I sighed and decided I'll just book a grab. Kapag talagang nakita ko 'yang Terrence na 'yan, humanda siya sa akin. He just ruined my day! It's my fucking birthday pero ano? Iniwan niya ako! Hindi man lang nagsabi ng maaga. E di sana hindi na ako pumuntang club kung hindi rin naman pala siya pupunta. Sana hindi ko nakita si Garry. Sana hindi ako gagastos sa Grab!
I sighed and looked at my knuckles that I used earlier to punch Garry. It was red and swollen. I looked at my arms then then notice some mark of Garry's hand. Damnit. Sana hindi magpasa. I tried to touched it but I winced in pain.
Nagpatuloy na lang ako sa paglalakad at itinuon ang pansin sa dinaraanan. Hindi katulad sa loob ng club, malamig na rito sa labas. I sighed for the nth time. I just wanted to celebrate my birthday. Why does it felt like I am not allowed?
Terrence is the only person I have in Manila. Everyone's in the province or abroad specially my family. Some of my aunts are here but... I don't know. It just doesn't feel good at all to celebrate with them. Kaya wala rin akong pwedeng tawagan para sunduin ako.
Nagulat ako nang may biglang tumunog na phone. Napalingon ako at nakita 'yung lalaki kanina. Napakunot ang noo ko? Is he following me?
Nakita ko siyang huminto at may kinuha sa kaniyang bulsa sa likod. He raised his phone then started tapping there. Humarap na ako at nagsimula na namang maglakad, kaso narandaman ko na namang may sumusunod sa akin. I turned around to face him and crossed my arms on my chest. But the contact of my bruises hands and my arm hurts that I bit my lower lip for a moment. Shit. I should wear long sleeves starting tomorrow. It will surely make a mark.
"Are you following me?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay nang makitang tinitingnan niya ang ekspresyon ng mukha ko.
"Nope. There's my car." Pagkasabi niya noon ay pinindot niya ang kaniyang keyfob kaya naman nag-produce ng ingay ang sasakyan sa gilid ko.
"Oh." Tumalikod na lang ako ulit saka nagpatuloy sa paglalakad. I think I should book a Grab now. I opened my pouch and fished my phone and opened their app.
"Hey!"
I sighed dramatically. "Kanina pa ako palingon-lingon ha! Ano ba 'yon?!"
He looked at me for a second. Contemplating if he'll talk or what. "You want a lift?"
"Nah, I'm fine," sagot ko. Mamaya kung saan pa ako dalhin nito, ano!
"You sure?" Binuksan niya ang pinto sa may driver's seat. Tumango lang ako.
"Okay. Ingat sa paglalakad!"
I almost stiffened by what he said. I looked around and there's no one around. I mean, hindi naman ako takot kaso... I really felt... No! I mean... Ano... I sighed in frustration.
I'm... I'm really sad on my birthday.
I just wanted to celebrate but I don't have anyone to do it with me. Why is it so hard to be happy?
Sasakay na sana siya nang magsalita ako. "Wait!"
Tumayo ito ng tuwid saka kunot noong tumingin sa akin. This must be crazy but... maybe desperate times was equivalent to crazy.
He looked at me but I looked away.
"Can we celebrate my birthday?"
Nang wala akong matanggap na sagot ay nilingon ko siya. He was looking at me with a frown.
"Please... I don't have anyone to celebrate it with."
This was an insult to my ego but I'm sure I won't see him again. I knew there was desperation on my voice but I really tried to deliver it just like fine. It was shameful to ask a total stranger like this... So I was hoping I won't meet him again.
Meeting him again in a different circumstance will put me in an embarrassing state. He will probably a living reminder of how desperate I am on my birthday. I was really hoping he's one of Terrence's bros because I never meet them twice--well, except for Steven.
At least that way, I am sure our paths won't cross again.