"Nakakaburyong naman..."
Marahas kong ibinagsak ang aking katawan sa aking kama. Finally. Natapos na rin ang fashion show.
Unfortunately, I am on rest kaya hindi muna ako pinapasok ng kumpaniya. They know what happened the night on the fashion show and they are sorry even though it's just an accident. They say na pwede daw muna akong magpahinga dahil naging successuful naman daw ang fashion show. I tried to insist on working but they disagree.
Mag-iisang Linggo na rin ang nakalipas. Maayos naman na ang paso ko. Mukhang ayos naman ang lahat maliban sa isa. 'yung sa amin ni Eiffel. Parang simula nung nangyari 'yung fashion show hindi na kami nag-uusap.
Busy siya sa mga paper works niya sa kanilang kompanya. Nagkakasalubong kami pero walang imikan. Nagsasalitan kami sa gawaing bahay at nagkukusa kaya hindi na rin namin nakaka-usap ang isa't isa. Gusto ko man siyang kausapin, umiiwas naman siya kaya tinigilan ko na lang rin. I didn't know but there's really something that happened.
My thought was cut when someone knocked on the door.
"Pasok."
"Um, hi."
Napaupo ako agad nang magsalita siya. "Hi."
"Ano... um, gusto mo ba mag-dinner mamaya?"
Napatanga ako sa sinabi niya. Dinner? Anong meron?
Napaisip ako kung may special ocasion ba o may roong kailangan i-celebrate pero wala akong maisip. Pero naisip ko na baka bumabawi lang ito sa akin. Siguro kasi hindi na kami gan'ong nag-uusap. Or maybe... he's asking me out for... a date?
No. It can't be. 'wag ka masyadong assuming, Bree. Baka gusto lang talaga niyang bumawi.
"Sige," iyon na lang ang nasagot ko.
🍷🗼🍷
"Ano bang mas maganda? Ito... o ito?" kausap ko sa sarili habang hawak ang dalawang damit at ipinapatong ito sa aking katawan para makita kung ano ang mas bagay suotin.
I looked at the round mirror in front of me.
"What's with you?" tanong ko sa repleksyon ko.
Napabuntong hininga na lamang ako at walang ganang naupo sa aking kama. It's still an hour before the time Eiffel tell me but I'm already picking something to wear and I'm unable to decide what to wear! It's frustrating! I always knew what I should wear. But now... I don't know. I don't know why I'm acting like this. As if I want to dress to impress Eiffel. My gosh! I'm a fashion designer but I can't pick a dress just for a dinner!
After few more minutes, I settle in a leather jacket, a gray pants and a black boots. I came to the thought that I'll just wear what makes me comfortable. Not something that will tell him I'm so excited about this date... I mean, dinner.
Naligo ako sandali at pagkatapos ay pumunta sa harap ng lamesa na may salamin kung saan nakalagay ang ilang mga make-up at pabango ko. I put some makeup then take some more glimpse before I made my way out.
Pagkabukas ko pa lang ng pinto ay bumungad na agad sa akin si Eiffel. Nakaangat ang isang kamay niya sa ere. Agad niya itong binawi at saka kumamot sa ulo.
"Kakatok pa lang sana ako. Tara na."
Huminto ang sinasakyan namin sa isang restaurant. Pero nakakapagtaka lang. Ang dami kasing mga tao sa labas at parang wala ring tao sa loob. bukas naman ang mga ilaw sa loob.
I looked at Eiffel only to found out that he's looking at me.
"Bakit?" kunot noong tanong ko.
"W-wala," sagot niya tapos nag-iwas ng tingin saka tumingin sa harap namin kung saan marami ring tao.
"Ano kayang meron?" tanong ko sa kaniya pati na rin sa aking sarili.
"Tara, tingnan natin."
Bigla niyang hinatak ang kamay ko saka kami sumiksik paharap. Sa may pinto ng restaurant ay may ribbon na pulang nakatali na nagsisilbing harang sa mga nais pumasok.
"Ribbon cutting?" usal ko. Doon ko lang napansin ang ilang mga tarpaulin na nagsasabing magbubukas ngayon ang restaurant.
"Opening pala nila ngayong gabi." Napalingon ako kay Eiffel na nagsalita habang nakatingin sa isang flyers na binabasa niya.
Napatango na lang ako. Mukhang Kailangan pa namin maghintay ng kaunti. Napalingon ako sa paligid. In fairness, maraming tao. But looking at them, they're all look like couple.
"Magri-ribbon cutting na."
Mayroong babae at lalaki na lumapit sa ribbon. Nagsalita sila sandali at nagpasalamat sa mga pumunta bago gupitin ang ribon ng may mga ngiti sa labi. After some time, they declared that the restaurant is officially open.
Pumasok kami sa loob kasabay ng iba pang costumers. Naghanap kami ng mauupuan at may nakita kaming bakante sa may gitna.
Mayroon biglang waiter na lumapit sa amin ng maupo kami. Akala ko ay magbibigay siya ng menu sa amin pero nagtanong lang siya pagkatapos niyang bumati.
"Do you have any allergy?"
"None. You?" tanong ni Eiffel.
Umiling lang ako sa waiter pagkatapos ay umalis na siya.
"Hindi niya ba tayo bibigyan ng menu?" sabi ko habang sinusundan ng tingin 'yung waiter na galing sa aming table.
Nagkibit balikat lang siya.
Ilang sandali pa ay dumating na rin 'yong waiter. Napakunot akong tumingn sa kaniya dahil bigla na lang siyang naglagay ng pagkain sa table namin.
"Excuse me. I think your in the wrong table. We haven't order yet."
"Everything in the opening is for free, madame. I hope you enjoy your meal."
Napatingin ako kay Eiffel. He's holding his phone. "Dinala mo ko rito kasi libre ang pagkain?"
Ang kuripot naman! I thought. Mayaman naman 'to. Kahit nga noong mga nakaraang buwan sumusweldo 'to kahit walang ginagawa. So, bakit--
"No. Alicia and I should try this restaurant but an emergency happen," he said only paying attention on his phone.
"Oh..."
Biglang bumagsak ang mga balikat ko at napasandal sa upuan. The food being serve look so delicious but I just lost my appetite.
But no, Bree. It's free. You should eat. Bihira na lang libre. Sulitin na.
And that's what I do. I don't even bother to wait Eiffel to eat. He'll eat when he wanted to. It is frustrating to think that he only invited me because Alicia can't make it. So I put all my frustration to the food. I am actually stress eating here. All I want to do is sink on my chair and disappear all the way.
I felt my eyes burning. Ganito na lang ba lagi? Second choice?
Pinigilan ko ang luhang nagbabalak tumakas sa mga mata ko at sumubo na lang ng pagkain.
"Magaling na ba ang sugat mo?" bigla niyang basag sa katahimikan namin.
Tumango lang ako saka nagpatuloy sa pagkain.
"Um, si June... nililiga--"
Biglang naputol ang sasabihin niya nang mamatay ang ilaw. Nagsimula nang gumawa ng ingay ang mga tao sa loob ng restaurant dahil sa panic pero may roong biglang nagsalita. Hindi naman ganoon kadilim dahil kahit papaano ay may liwanag na nanggagaling sa labas.
"Ladies and gentlemen, we are so delighted that you're here today in the opening of this restaurant. We give free meals that you didn't expect. Well, this restaurant is made to witness and bring love not only to the stomach but also to the heart of the costumers. So if it is okay, can we fill this restaurant with love? Can we suggest to everyone to have their partner."
Nagkatinginan kami ni Eiffel.
"You can stand if you want." Tumayo kami pareho ni Eiffel at ganoon rin yung ibang kumakain.
"Now, does everyone have their partner?"
"Yes!" the crowd answer in chorus.
"Now, may we suggest to everyone to kiss?"
I heard some gasp. Some giggles and some curse in the air to the announcement.
We heard a laughed. "Okay, if you really can't--which I know you really can-- how about a hug and a peck on the cheeks? Sounds better? For those who'll not do it, we have spot light!" I heard the speaker chuckles. "Now, let's start in three, two, one!"
Pagkatapos na pagkatapos niya magsalita ay may tumugtog na violin at piano. The transparent glass window earlier suddenly flash the breathtaking scenery of the night sky luminated by the stars. I can also see shooting stars in different corner of the restaurant. The glass window just become a big screen full of stars.
I was amazed by how technology make it happen. It's like a magic that bring us somewhere. Without wasting any second, people around me start leaning to each other. The scenery and the music is so soothing. It makes me calm that I think my mind was lost.
May naramdaman akong sumundot sa may baraso ko. Nang lumingon ako, alam ko na agad na si Eiffel 'yon. My hands become suddenly sweaty. My hearts beats faster as if it's racing.
"Well, ayoko ng spotlight," nakangiting sabi niya at pinaghiwalay ang kaniyang baraso habang nakaangat sa direksyon ko. Nagbibigay senyales na yakapin ko siya.
Wala sa sariling lumapit at yumakap ako sa kaniya. Naramdaman ko ang pagbalot ng kaniyang mga bisig sa aking katawan na nagbigay init sa akin. Isiniksisk ko ang aking mukha sa kaniyang dibdib at siya naman ay ipinatong ang kaniyang baba sa aking ulo.
We stay like that for a moment. He was caressing my hair so gentle that I can't help but to blushed. Idagdag pana hinalikan niya ako bigla sa pisngi.
"I missed you," he whispered to my ear and suddenly I'm crying.
It felt so good to cry while there are comforting darkness, comforting music, and comforting hands that tells you it's okay to cry. To let yourself vulnerable for a moment because there's someone who will guard your walls when it's down.
Maybe Eiffel felt my tears and my shoulders that rising that's why he cupped my face.
"Hey, why are you crying?" His voice is full of concern.
I wanted to tell him that it's because I've miss him. That his warm hug filled my emptiness. That finally, after few weeks I felt that I'm not alone again.
Gusto kong magsalita pero walang lumabas sa bibig ko sa halip ay umiling na lang ako.
"Shhh. Tahan na," pagpapatahan niya tapos ay niyakap akong muli.
Naramdaman kong hinalikan niya ako sa noo. Pagkatapos ay lumayo siya ng kaunti.
"Tingnan mo ang pula na ng ilong mo."
Muli siyang lumapit sa akin at nagulat ako nang halikan niya ang ilong ko. I looked at him shocked.
Did he just...?
Then, I felt that everything happen in slow motion. The music become muted. And I can't take my eyes off on Eiffel.
Slowly, he looked on my lips and back to my eyes. Inch by inch he lean on me. I want to push him but my strength just left me. I felt my heart beating so fast that I think it might explode. I smell his breath, the red wine we drank before lingering. I saw his eyes close just before his lips met mine.
And I'm lost. I don't think straight. My mind malfunctioned that what I did was respond to his kisses. My eyes are closed.
Damn, His lips are soft.
His strong arms around me tighten as the kiss deepen. My hands are gripping to the hem of his clothes so tight because I felt that my knees are turning into jelly that any moment I might fall.
A sudden clicked of a camera on the background make us move away from each other. I didn't know why but the first thing I think when the kiss end is to run. And so I did.
Naririnig ko ang pagtawag sa akin ni Eiffel pero hindi ko siya pinakinggan. Narinig ko ang paghingi niya ng tawad sa akin pero tumakbo lang ako nang tumakbo palabas ng restaurant. Nakikita ko ang tingin ng mga tao na nakakasalubong ko sa daan at paminsan ay may nababangga pa ako pero humihingi lang ako ng paumanhin at tumakbo lang.
Nang makaramdam ako ng pagod ay huminto na ako at naupo sa bench na nakita ko. Tumingala ako at nakita ang nagliliwanag na Eiffel tower sa madilim na gabi. I instantly smile and unconsciously touched my lips.
Hinahabol ko pa ang aking hininga at nararamdaman ko pa rin ang pagtibok nang malakas ng aking puso na hindi ko malaman kung dahil ba tumakbo ako ng malayo o dahil sa nangyari kanina. I still felt his lips against mine. I keep playing the scene that happen a while ago and a smile always escaped my lips, no matter what. It felt like I'm in heaven.
"Oh, gosh!" Inilagay ko ang aking kamay sa aking mga pisngi dahil alam kong sobrang namumula na sila.
Ba't ba nangyari 'yon? Ano bang ibig sabihin noon sa kaniya? Ano bang meron kami? Si Alicia, anong meron sila? At si Keina? Saka may bata, 'di ba? She's experiencing all the symptoms of a pregnant woman.
I stay there for hours confused, thinking, not even being bothered by cold. I don't want to go home. Not yet. Hindi ko alam kung anong mukha ang ihaharap ko kay Eiffel pagkatapos ng nangyari. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako lulugar. Naguguluhan ako.
Napabuntong hininga ako. Siguro sa hotel na muna ako matutulog ngayon. Wala pa rin naman akong pasok.
I slowly walked to the nearest hotel. Baka bukas na ako umuwi. Baka kailangan muna namin ng space. Kailangan namin pareho mag-isip.
🍷🗼🍷
The first thing that came from my mind as I open my eyes is to go home and make things up between Eiffel and I.
I already knew what I felt. And I planed to inform him as soon as possible. I'll tell him no matter what and I hope to know what he really feel about me.
But then, unexpected things always happen.
I made my way hurriedly to our house. And what welcomed me is a nude back of a woman in an early morning.
***