"Congratulations on your graduation. Sadly, that person that I wanted to give this to, won't accept it anyway so please accept this instead. I don't want this to go to waste." The boy that I haven't seen in before handed me a bouquet of unknown flowers with a sad yet sincere look on his face.
Wala sana akong balak na kuhain ang bulaklak kung hindi lang dahil sa nangungusap nyang mga mata at kung hindi lang pareho ng nararamdaman ko ang mararamdaman ng bulaklak na ibinibigay nya kung sakaling tanggihan ko iyon. Flowers are living things, so I knew that even though they can't speak for themselves, they will feel lonely. Tao nga na gaya ko ay nakakaramdam ng kalungkutan kapag kapag binitawan, halaman pa kaya?
"In a normal situation, I won't accept something that is not meant for me. But just like you said, I don't want such beautiful flowers will go to waste. Thank you for the unexpected gift." Nakangiti kong wika bago inamoy ang bulaklak na inabot nya.
Those flowers saved me from feeling depressed on my graduation day. I got a gift from my mom and dad but none of them matters. Nakakatawang isipin na isang simple at hindi kilalang bulaklak lang ang papawi sa sakit na bumabalot sa puso ko sa mga oras na to.
"Name." I said asking for his name and I looked once again to the boy who gave me the flowers but to my surprise, the boy wasn't there anymore. The person standing right in front of me now is none other than the person who saved the present me, - Vaughn Carlo, - with a smile on his face, he said…
"Forget me not."
Mainit na palad na masuyong humahaplos sa mukha ko ang gumising sa akin sa panaginip na kinaroroonan ko. Mapupungay na pares ng mga mata ang sumalubong sa akin ng imulat ko ang mga mata. Vaughn's intense gaze is making me conscious that made me look away from him but sadly, he didn't let me. That dream I just had made me hope that Vaughn and my first love is one person but I knew that I'm hoping for something impossible. Tanging sa mga kdrama at nobela lamang nangyayari ang mga ganun.
"Did you sleep well?" Tanong nya na sinagot ko na lang ng marahang tango.
Hindi ko alam kung anong oras na kami nakatulog kagabi. We spend some time talking bunch of things about ourselves. I learned that his mom and dad are both painters. Kaya naman hindi na ako nagtaka na gaya ng mga magulang nya ay isa din itong artist. Though I wonder why he didn't take arts and take psychology instead. He also told me that he lost his dad when he was only five years old. But I find him lucky to have a very loving and attentive mother. Dahil kahit na napaka-busy ng mommy nya sa pag-manage ng atelier na pag-aari ng yumao nitong asawa ay hindi kailanman naranasan ni Vaughn ang makaramdam ng pag-iisa. Vaughn's mom is truly devoted when it comes to him and his late husband's art school. That's why when his mom told him that she's dating someone again, he felt happy because he knew that his mother deserves to be happy too.
I feel sad when he asked me about my family. But unlike before, it's quite surprising that I find it easy to tell him my thoughts and feelings regarding my family problems. Even the hate I felt before for those two people who took my dad from me and the guilt that crept in me when I realized that they are not the bad guys here, I managed to tell him about it. Tila ako nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib ng masabi ko sa kanya lahat ng hinaing ko sa buhay kaya di ko na binigyan ng pansin ang lungkot na saglit na dumaan sa mga mata nya na marahil ay hatid ng lungkot na dala ng malupit na hagupit ni tadhana sa buhay ko.
"Euphoric." He whispered as if telling it to himself that made me come back to my senses.
May hatid na kakaibang init ang matiim nyang pagkakatitig sa akin na tila ba pilit nyang binabasa ang laman ng puso't isip ko.
"Ang alin?" May pagtataka sa mga matang tanong ko sa kanya pero sa halip na sumagot ay masuyo nya lang akong hinila at ikinulong sa mga bisig nya.
To be honest, I used to love the cold feeling that's been accompanying me for years now. Kaya naman para akong natunaw sa init na hatid ng yakap nyang iyon. And it scares me big time. Dahil baka muli, kapag nakasanayan ko na ang init na hatid nya, bigla na lang humagupit na naman ang isang delubyo na muling magpapalamig ng mundo ko.
Nawala ang agam-agam sa isip ko ng marinig ko ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso nya na tila musika sa pandinig ko. I close my eyes and listen to his heartbeat as it slowly calmed down, reminding me of my favorite instrument, the drums.
"I want to stay like this forever." He whispered in my ear that made my face feels like burning in embarrassment.
"Me too."
Marahan nya akong itinulak palayo bago mataman akong tinitigan. I tried to meet his gaze but seeing his intense gaze is making me conscious. Sa paraan ng pagtitig nya, para na din nyang nakikita ang kaluluwa ko pero ang sinseridad na nakalarawan sa mga mata nya ay sapat na para kumalma ang naghuhurumintado kong puso.
"Mahal kita Marcielle Anne." He said in a low yet serious voice that made my heart explode in happiness.
It's not the first time he said that he loves me. Pero ito ang unang pagkakataon na damang-dama ko ang bawat katagang binigkas nya. I was left speechless that made him chuckled.
He cupped my face and planted a soft kiss on my forehead before hugging me tight once again. Nanatili kami sa ganong posisyon na hindi naguusap. Hinayaan lang namin na ang mga puso namin ang mag-salitan sa pagtibok. I close my eyes and feel his heat and his rumbling heartbeat. It feels like I'm having a collaborative concert with him with the way our hearts exchanged beats with each other.
Gusto kong samantalahin ang pagkakataong ito. Alam kong mamaya lang ay muli na naman akong babalutin ng lamig kapag kailangan nya ng umuwi sa kanila. After all, it's the 24th. He needs to spend time with his family too. And I'll be spending Christmas Eve with my friends and some students who didn't go home for the break in the school's auditorium.
Ang unang plano ay kami lang talagang magkakaibigan. Pero ng makita namin na may ilan-ilan din estudyante ang hindi umuwi sa kanila, napagpasyahan namin na mag-handle na lang ng mini-concert para sa lahat ng mga piniling mag-stay na lang sa dorm. My friends even got a big OK from the school's president. Even though I'm sad being unable to celebrate Christmas with Vaughn, I'm still excited to bring happiness to other people.
"If your dad's new wife invites you to spend Christmas with them, will you accept her invitation?" Vaughn asked out of the blue after a long silence.
"No." My immediate answer.
Naramdaman ko ang pagluwag ng yakap nya sa akin sa naging sagot ko. "Why? Do you still hate them?"
"I don't hate them anymore. It's not their fault anyway. Ayoko lang makita kung gaano sila kasaya na gaya nung mga panahon na kami pa ni mom ang nasa sitwasyon nila. Isa pa, ayokong mas lalong maramdaman na mag-isa na lang talaga ako." Paliwanag ko.
"I see."
"I also feel guilty for getting mad at them. I still need more time, I guess." Muli nya akong niyakap ng mahigpit na tila ba pinupunan nya ang mga taon ng aking pag-iisa.
"I'm here now, Marcielle Anne. Hindi ka na mag-iisa ulit. Whatever happens, I won't give up on you. I won't give up on us." Puno ng pagmamahal na wika nya bago marahang kumalas sa pagkakayakap sa akin.
"Do you mean it?" Hindi ko na nagawang itago ang pangamba sa tinig sa tanong ko na iyon. I'm not naïve when it comes to relationship even though I never had one, just watching other people's experience, I knew that cupid is a very selfish jerk who just keep on shooting not destined people with his cruel arrow just for his own enjoyment.
I knew how he manipulates people by making them feel that it is real love and it is fate when all he does is to trap random people to just hurt each other in the end. I've seen a lot of people suffered because of him, destroying years of friendship because of his cruel arrow, ruining one's life because of its poison, leaving a void inside one's heart after pulling back his arrow and creating a scar that can't be healed even by time.
"You won't give up on me?" Pagpapatuloy kong tanong ng makita ko ang nagtataka nyang tingin.
"I won't. Have faith in me please. I love you more than you know." He sincerely said.
Isang matamis na ngiti na lang ang naging sagot ko sa sinabi nya. All I need to do is trust him.
"Do you want me to spend Christmas with you?" Tanong nya pagkaraan ng saglit na katahimikan.
"No." Umiiling kong sabi kahit na nakaka-tempt ang offer nya. "Go home and just come back here tomorrow so we can go out on a date." Muli syang tumahimik na tila ba tinitimbang ang katotohanan sa sagot ko.
"Don't worry about me. I have plans tonight. And I won't be celebrating Christmas alone." I said with a wide smile on my face.
Naiiling na pinisil nya ang baba ko kasunod ang pag gawad nya ng isang mahaba at matamis na halik sa mga labi ko na agad ko naman tinugon. We kissed several times but this time, I find it sweeter among all.
He pulled away when we run out of breath and whispered 'I love you' before hugging me tight for the nth time today. It's a wonderful moment that I hoped to last forever. It's so peaceful that I wasn't even aware that there's a storm coming to our life that will make a drastic change to our relationship.