"Paging Chean Arciega, please proceed to Earth immediately." May inis na sa tinig na sabi ni Rei na nagpabalik sakin sa kamalayan. Saka ko lang napansin ang nagtatakang tingin na ibinabato ng mga kaibigan ko sa akin. And made me realized that I'm just holding my drumstick tight and not doing anything.
"Sorry." Nakapameywang na humarap sakin si Kristine at tikwas ang kilay na tinignan ako.
"You've been out of this world since you went back here after meeting your dad. Nag-away ba kayo ng dad mo? Then why did you meet him if you're going to be like this again?" Bagaman napakalalim ng pagkakakunot ng noo nya ay makakarinigan sa tinig nya ang pagaalala.
Iling na lang ang naging sagot ko dahil maging ako ay hindi magawang bigyan ng pangalan ang nararamdaman. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa din ako makapaniwala sa mga nasaksihan kanina. Hindi ko alam kung anong mangingibabaw na damdamin sa akin, galit ba? Dahil sa ginawang paglilihim ni Vaughn sa totoong pagkatao at sa hindi ko pagkilala sa bagong pamilya ni dad, o takot. Takot na muli na naman akong mag-isa kapag napatunayan ko na ang anak ng bagong asawa ni dad at si Vaugn ay iisa.
"Baka nagaalala lang sya sa mommy ni Vaughn. I heard he rushes home because his mom is about to give birth." Singit ni Jupiter na naging dahilan ng pagkabitaw ko ng drumstick na hawak.
"H-his m-mom is about to give birth?" Mas lalo akong nanlumo sa narinig.
"Oh! so you didn't know? Kaya ka ba nagkakaganyan?" Takang tanong ni Kristine.
"No. M-my stepmom is about to give birth t-too." Tanging naging sagot ko na lang.
"Oh, it's about that huh?" Naiiling na wika ni Rei. "Bakit hindi mo na lang tawagan muna ang daddy mo kesa naman nagkakaganyan ka? We can always reschedule our practice, just not this weekend because I'll be meeting Keanu." Dugtong nya pa na may matamis na ngiti sa mga labi na agad naman inalmahan ni Jupiter.
"Why do you still have to meet him? And why didn't I know about it?" Kunot ang noong tanong ni Jupiter na sinagot naman ni Rei ng matalim na tingin.
"It's because you have nothing to do with it." Sa normal na pagkakataon ay matatawa ako sa parang bata na pagbusangot ni Jupiter pero sa pagkakataong ito ay hindi ko makuha ang ngumiti man lang.
Napakadaming agam-agam sa puso ko at nagtatalo na din ang puso't isip ko kung ano ang dapat gawin ngayon na alam ko na ang totoo. My mind wants me to confront Vaughn and demands for the truth why he still choose to date me when he knew that I am his stepdad's daughter. But my heart wants it to take it slow and let Vaughn spill everything. A part of me wanted to know the truth but the rest of my system feels afraid of the consequences once I choose to confront him.
"Let's end this practice then." Wika ni Shiro na nagpabalik sakin sa kamalayan. He looked at me with a worried look on his face. "Go ahead ng call whoever you wanted to call first, your dad or Vaughn. I know you've been wanting to do that since earlier. Kanina ka pa hindi mapakali eh. Kami na bahala magligpit ng mga gamit dito." Utos nya pa.
I thanked them and went to my room immediately and checked dad's Facebook but I saw nothing about him and his new family. It was as if someone deliberately hide it in case that I tried to look anything about them. So I took a deep breath and decided to text my dad where they are. Agad naman sya nag-reply kasunod ng tanong kung pupunta ba ako. I'm deliberating with myself if I should go or not but ended up telling him no. As much as I wanted to know the truth, I'm afraid how it will end up between Vaughn and I.
Mahinang katok ang pumukaw sa atensyon ko bago ang dahan-dahang pagbukas nun kasunod ang pagsilip ni Rei at Kristine na may nag-aalalang tingin na nakalarawan sa mukha nilang dalawa.
"What's wrong Chean? You looked agitated." Rei asked before she sat at the edge of my bed while Kristine sat on my swivel chair.
I tried to put a mask on my face, trying to hide the worries and fears building up inside me. "I'm just worried."
"Is that really it? Mula nang dumating ka parang naiwan sa bayan yang isip mo eh. Lalo pa yatang nadagdagan nung sinabi namin na umalis si Vaughn eh. Come on Chean. Tell us! We're your friends. Bawasan natin yan." I forced a smile on my face on Kristine's words. As much as I wanted to tell them my worries, I don't even know where to start.
I took a deep breath and looked at them. "I'm okay. I'm just worried for my dad's wife and also for Vaughn's mom."
Binigyan lang nila ako nang hindi naniniwalang tingin ngunit hindi na din naman sila nangulit pa. And I'm thankful for that. Ayoko na munang sabihin sa kanila ang nakita kong pagsama ni Vaughn kay dad dahil sa tatlong rason. First, I don't want my friends to get involve in our relationship. Second, I want to hear Vaughn's reason first. And Lastly, I'm scared. I am scared to know the truth because I might end up being alone again once he found out that I already knew. I still believe in his words.
"I see. Okay ka na bang magkakaroon ka na ng bagong kapatid?" Rei asked thinking that maybe the reason why I'm being like this is because of the baby that will totally take my dad away from me.
I gave her an honest smile. "I am. I'm just worried that's all." It's the half-truth. I am okay even though dad has a new child now. But what worries me is his connection with Vaughn. Seeing them both earlier, they really looked like a father and son.
"We will believe you, since you said you're okay." Kristine sighed in defeat.
"Ihahatid nga pala namin si Hiro bukas sa airport. Sasama ka ba?" Pag-iiba ni Rei sa usapan na ikinahinga ko ng maluwag. Ayoko munang isipin ang mga agam-agam ko sa ngayon. Just for now I want to have a little peace of mind.
"I will."
Tapos na ang isang buwan na bakasyon ni Akihiro. Pero sa loob ng isang buwan ay ilang beses ko lang syang nakita dahil kahit na nakabakasyon sya ay panay naman ang punta nya sa branch ng Hotel nila dito sa Pilipinas. He matured a lot after staying in Japan for several months. Not only physically but intellectually he grew up a lot.
"Since okay ka naman na, we'll go ahead. Make sure to wake up early tomorrow. Maaga daw flight ni Hiro eh." Bilin ni Kristine bago inaya si Rei na tila wala pang balak umalis.
"Yes ma'am." Nakangiti kong sabi na alam kong maging sila ay napansin ang hindi nun pag-abot sa mga mata ko.
Nagpalit ako ng pang jogging na damit ng makaalis silang dalawa at agad na pumunta sa track oval ng academy. I put on my earphones and listened to my track list of favorite songs to block the desire of my mind to think about the signs I missed on Vaughn's identity. I don't want to think anymore. And I don't want to confront Vaughn or dad about the truth. Kung gusto kong makatulog agad ay kailangan kong pagudin ng husto ang sarili ko. Hindi ko alam kung ilang oras na akong tumatakbo paikot sa oval bago ako tuluyang nakaramdam ng pagod.
I lay on the ground and looked at the stars up above me. Ilan lang ang mga bituin na naroroon na tila ba nakikiayon sa damdamin ko ngayon. I close my eyes trying to erase that scene in my mind and when I opened it, I saw Vaughn's eyes with a hint of loneliness on it. Just like how lonely the clouds right now for having only little stars.
"Found you." He whispered before he smiled at me. Ngiting hindi man lang umabot sa mga mata nya na gaya noon. Ngiting tila may malaking magbabago sa sitwasyon namin ngayon.
"How's your mom?" Agad kong tanong na halatang ikinagulat nya. "I heard from Ju." Dugtong ko.
"She's fine." He said and let a sigh of relief. As if he felt relieved when I said that I heard it from someone else and not from my dad.
Ngumiti lang ako bago bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga. Agad naman nya akong hinila patayo at walang imik na inakay pabalik sa dormitory na mahigpit na nakahawak sa mga kamay ko.
"I heard you meet with your dad?" Pagputol nya sa katahimikang saglit na bumalot sa amin dalawa. "I heard from your friends when I was looking for you earlier." I am walking behind him that's why I can't see his facial expression. It's also good, dahil hindi ko alam kung anong damdamin ang nakalarawan sa mukha ko ngayon.
"Yeah. I gave him my blessing. Finally! after years of my rebellious stage." Biro ko upang pagtakpan ang kabang unti-unting bumabalot sa puso ko.
"That's great." Saglit syang lumingon sakin at tipid na ngumiti bago muling iniwas ang tingin sa akin. Muli na naman kaming binalot ng mahabang katahimikan hanggang sa makarating kami sa entry ng dormitory.
"I have a new little brother now." He said while climbing the stairs to our floor.
"That's great! What's his name?" Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko habang hinihintay ang sagot nya.
He stopped and looked at me with a glint of sadness on his eyes that eventually disappear in a split second, as if he doesn't want me to know his true feelings because of the truth he was about to throw at me that will leave me black and blue.
"Marcus...Marcus Isidro."
My grip from his hand loosen and his, tightened. I tried to smile hoping that the mask I put on won't fell while he is staring at me blankly.
"That's a nice name. Who gave him his name?" I prayed that dad did not tell him from where he got the baby's second name.
Iniwas nya ang tingin at muling nagpatuloy sa paglalakad habang hawak ng mahigpit ang kamay ko. "Marcus came from me, and Isidro, I think dad just add it. It's a bit old school but I like it." Wika nya at pagak na tumawa.
"My stepmom gave birth too." I said when we got in front of my room.
I looked at him trying to see his reaction but I didn't see any signs of nervousness as if he's ready if ever I confront him.
"Really? What's your plan now? Are you going to meet them? Since you already gave your dad your blessing." Tanong nya na matiim na nakatingin sa mga mata ko.
I smiled sadly. "Still, no. I'm not yet ready. Tama na sakin na masaya sila. Masaya na din naman ako dahil andyan ka." Sinserong pahayag ko na ikinangiti nya. Ngunit hindi nakuhang itago ng ngiti nyang iyon ang lungkot na dumaan sa mga mata nya.
Ngiting tila pahiwatig ng pagsisimula ng nalalapit na pagtatapos sa kabanata namin dalawa.