Over the next few days, I spend every free minute I have trying to figure out if I can get a placement to finish my training. Its my every waking thought now that Jamie is on board.
I got in touch with the college right away, and they told me that all I had to do was complete the teacher preparation program since I already had my degree. It was exactly the break I needed. All going well, this time next year I could actually be teaching music. It feels like a dream.
If I get a spot, I'll only be doing the training a couple days a week, along with some evenings at the college. It means I can continue working at Strings & Things part time so that I still have some sort of income. I don't have enough in savings to study full time for the year, so it makes the most sense for me. All I'm waiting on now is a call to confirm that there's actually school available for me and thats it, its all systems go.
Jamie had some big developments himself this week too; his first session with the therapist was on Monday.
I tried not to pry too much, but it sounded like it was tough from the little he did share with me. His doctor agreed that he should start some anger management classes like we wanted, so he's going along to his first one tonight.
I've made use of the time he'll be out and made plans to meet Annie at the bar later. It sounds like she's got her foot to the floor with the changes she's decided to make, but between trying to organise school and work this week I haven't been able to talk to her much about it.
I called Will while I was at work on Monday to tell him my news, he was really happy for me. He said it was great that I was going to get back to what I love doing. Unfortunately I had to cut the call short because a customer was looking for my help, and I haven't heard from him since. I'm trying not to over think it. It's only been a few days, and he's certainly not beholden to me.
Bizarrely, I also had a call with somebody else that day. Donna.
My dad had her call me to check if I was alright after the way things went on Saturday, and also to see when I might be free to come over and talk. I'm not sure how he expects to do that at all if he needs Donna to call me for him, but I'm willing to give it a chance. I told her I'd check my diary over the next few weeks and let her know. I want to get all this stuff with school straightened out first.
At work, the two ladies have been like proud moms with the idea of me going back to finish my studying. I definitely saw Michelle wipe away a tear when I told them. They'll need to hire someone to cover the days I'll be dropping, but they're happy to do it.
Carol cornered me at one point to tell me how proud she was that I'd stood my ground with Jamie. I know she doesn't have the full picture, but it felt really good to hear it.
Come six o' clock I'm itching to get going to see Annie, we've so much to fill each other in on. I grab my stuff and rush out the door in the hope I don't get caught in traffic on the way to the bar.
I call Jamie on my way to wish him luck at his class. He sounds agitated as we talk, I'm sure it's just nerves, so I don't let it get to me. Things are moving in the right direction for us, thats what matters.
Pulling into the carpark beside Benny's, I spot Wills car. Annie didn't mention that he'd be here, not that it should make a difference, but knowing that he is gives me this weird fuzzy feeling my stomach.
Annie literally yelps when she sets eyes on me coming in the door. She grabs me, pulling me into a hug so big that you'd never think we had met only a couple weeks ago.
"Come on," she says, bubbling over with excitement, "lets go to my office, I've so much to show you!"
We make our way through the kitchen, dodging people cooking and carrying plates of food as we go.
"The first thing I'm doing is knocking the wall on the other side of the bar," she says, "It will lead directly back to the office, so no more having to come through here. I feel like I take my life in my hands whenever I walk through this kitchen."
"Can't say I blame you," I say, as I duck under a tray of hot soup. How she's survived this long I don't know.
"I hope it's okay that its just us, I sent Will with Adam to collect some samples. I don't know when they'll be back but I did mention that you were coming over so Will probably has Adam hightailing it back here."
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean," I say as I glare at her, "But of course it's fine, I'm here to see you. I hear you've been making some big moves in here. What's going on?"
I take a look around her office, it's filled with sample textiles and paint cards. She really has been a busy bee.
She begins to talk me through all of her plans, mentioning that after our lunch last week she went home and looked at every detail of how the bar was running. She says that she realised they were essentially just keeping her dads bar going, rather than making it their own. Annie thinks now is the right time to do that, and I couldn't agree more with her.
She seems to be aware of the risks. The money that comes in here is enough to keep both her and Will comfortable, but Annie says she needs more to feel fulfilled while running things. She wants to make something of Bennys. I can't imagine having this much responsibility and having to make such big decisions, but she's taking it all in her stride.
We look though the different paint and fabric samples that shes considering. She intends to completely redecorate, only making small tweeks to the menu instead of the overhaul she originally planned for. Bennys is well known for its food, so I think the 'if it aint broke don't fix it' approach shes taking now is the right one.
"Isn't this all going to cost a fortune Annie?," I ask.
"Definitely. I have a meeting with the bank on Friday. Will and I can finance some of it ourselves, but we're going to need a loan for the majority"
I'm well aware that this is not my area of expertise, but from a customer point of view, places like Benny's are a dime a dozen right now. Putting her own personal stamp on things could really make it great.
"I hear you're entertaining my cocktail idea?," I ask excitedly.
"Oh yes! I bounced it around with some of the girls here and they all thought it was great, I think we're going to do a ladies night like you said, or at least something along those lines."
"That's fantastic, you're really grabbing this with both hands Annie, go you."
I'm proud of her for getting out there and going after what she wants. She has an insane amount of drive, thats for sure.
"Is there anything I can help with? I know I don't know much about hospitality, but this all seems like a lot work for you."
"Yes! There is something actually," she says. "I've colour samples coming out of my butt and all I want to do is pick grey. I can't do that here, can you imagine the staining?"
Ew, it really doesn't bear thinking about.
Annie pouts at me, resembling a child rather than a woman who's single handedly bossing the hell out of this.
"Can you help me pick?," she says, pushing her bottom lip out a tiny bit further for full effect.
"Let's see what you've got. And put that lip away! I said I wanted to help didn't I?"
We pour over all of her choices for easily two hours. Annie even had someone drop us in some fries to keep us going. In the end we've chosen a medley of navy, oak wood and brushed gold for the trims and finishings. I think the finishings may have tipped her over the edge budget wise though, because it means everything right down to the finger plates around the light switches need to be replaced.
"I think you're going to need to recalculate costs before you go to the bank Annie," I say as we exchange worried glances.
Great, my help has actually cost her money.
"The accountant is coming by tomorrow," she tells me, "she's going to kill me. Here I am selecting the finishing touches when I haven't even fully priced the equipment for the kitchen yet, it's a total guesstimate."
"You're going to have to close the place for a while too right? Have you accounted for that?," I ask.
"Yeah, I thought maybe three weeks, but judging by all if this I'll probably have to double it. I'm starting to think that this could all be a little much for one person. Will is helping, but he has no more of a clue than I do... Maybe I should get a project manager?"
"Can you afford one?," I ask, looking over everything we have in front of us and trying to mentally calculate it.
"Maybe if I sell an organ. But seriously, I don't think I have a choice," she says, "I'm way too spendy for this kind of stuff, I'll need someone to reign me in."
"It sounds like you'll be busy for the next while."
"Who isn't I guess… Wait! Oh my gosh!" Annie exclaims as she jumps up out of her seat, "I completely forgot! Why have you let me go on about this for hours when you have such big news yourself?"
"Awh Will told you about the teaching programme? I wanted to tell you myself."
She giggles sheepishly.
"Sorry doll! It's what you get with siblings. Tell one, you tell the other."
"Humm, I'll have to remember that," I mutter. I really hope that it isn't entirely true for those two.
Annie claps her hands excitedly, moving the sample books aside.
"Okay, so tell me everything! How did this all happen?"
I have to explain the whole visit to my dads house to her, and about the pointed comment he made to Jamie that resulted in him suggesting I go back and finish my training. She makes a face like there's a bad smell in the room when I mention the last part though.
"What?" I ask cautiously.
"No, it's nothing. It's great news," she says.
"But?"
"Well it's just, I don't know, doesn't it seem like Jamie permitted you to do it, rather than you deciding?"
I'm taken aback by her take on things.
"No, I say, clearly offended. "No it's not like that, I've always intended on going back."
"When?"
"I don't know? When the timing was right."
I'm suddenly feeling very defensive, does Annie not think that I'm capable of making a decision for myself or something?
"So, the timing just happened to be perfect when Jamie was good with it?," she says. "Do you really not see what I'm saying here?"
I shake my head at her, refusing to admit that Jamie still has all the control.
"I'm sorry," Annie says as she reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. "I don't mean to sound like I'm not happy for you, I am, I'm SO happy. I'm just not very trusting of Jamie, you can understand that right?"
"Yeah... no I know..."
She was never going to be a fan overnight right? I need to remember that.
"Do you mind if I ask how everything is there now?," she says. "With you and Jamie?"
"Um, it's good, it's okay I mean. No, it's better."
I'm confusing myself here, Annie has thrown me off entirely with her acusations that I'm still somehow under Jamie's thumb.
I take a breath and start again.
"It's good," I say, "he's trying. He started therapy, actually he has an anger management class tonight too. It's way too early to say that anything is a success, but I'm hopeful."
At least I was hopeful, until two minutes ago.
"Well that's something," she says, letting her sadness for me ooze from every pore.
"You think I'm an idiot don't you? Like Will."
She hesitates. That's a yes.
"No, I think you love him," she says, "there's a difference."
"Yeah? What's that?"
"The difference is that you won't see you've been an idiot until you're not in love anymore."
Not in love anymore? Does she really think thats what's going to happen?
"Annie my eyes are wide open this time," I tell her, "I'm doing things on my terms. I'm being careful."
"Izzy, I'm not judging you, not at all. I just want you to be safe and be happy and I don't know for sure that you can be both of those things with Jamie."
I can't help but be angered at what's she's saying, but I know that if the shoe were on the other foot, I'd likely feel the same.
Right now Annie is pretty much one of my only friends, it's good that she cares this much for me, but it also makes me think about the furure of our friendship, and what that may look like.
"Can I ask you something?" I say, biting my lip and feeling nervous about the answer I might get.
"Anything," she says.
"What's it going to be like when we're all together? Surely there will be a time when you and Jamie have to be in the same room. Would you be okay with that?"
Annie sits down into her office chair, tapping her fingers on her desk while she mulls over her responce. The silence makes me uncomfortable, and I feel like I have to fill it.
"I'd completely underatand if you couldn't Annie," I say, "or if you didn't want to, it would obviously makes things a little harder but I'd get it. I'm kind of already expecting that scenario with Will actually…"
Annie raises her hand to shush my blabbing.
"You know, I hadn't really thought about it," she says. "I mean, it could be awkward sure, but in regards to Will, I don't think what Jamie did to you would be his only reason for not wanting to be around him, you get that right?"
"Yes."
She thinks Will won't want to see Jamie and I together as a couple, and I imagine she's right.
"I think I could do it though," she says, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't love the idea but I'm sure there will be times that it can't be helped, and in those times I'll just try my best to give him a wide birth and suck it up."
"That's probably the most I can hope for right?"
"Yes," she says, "but hey, it's just another reason why I'm so much better than Will."
Annie's self flattery is interrupted when the office door is pushed open and both Will and Adam stroll in, laden down with boxes.
"Speak of the devil," Annie mumbles as she gets up to examine the supplies that just arrived.
"Well hey there college girl!," Will exclaims, rubbing his knuckles on my head.
"Hey, watch the hair." I say as I comb my fingers over the area he's just messed up.
He throws his eyes over his shoulder, Annie and Adam are already engrossed in conversation about whatever is inside one of the boxes. He leans in making sure only I can hear him.
"Personally I think it looks better a little roughed up."
Not this again, why is he so insistent on torturing me?
"Don't do that here," I say quietly, pointing my eyes towards Annie.
It's awkward enough that I pretend that nothing has happened between Will and I, I'm not going to be so blatant about it in front of her too. Not that she's taking any real notice.
Will and I watch as her and Adam talk, but there's something different about the way she is with him. She's touching her hair and smiling a whole lot.
"Am I missing something here?" I ask Will.
"Not really," he says, "they think I don't know that they've been enjoying each others company the last couple of months, but I mean, clearly you can see how I've managed to figure that one out."
Will twists his face in mock disgust, they are being painfully obvious to be fair, and it is his sister. But personally I'm a little shocked, I can't believe Annie never told me.
"Why haven't you said anything?" I whisper, not wanting to interrupt them.
"Because they haven't told me. When they want me to know, they will."
He smiles at me, as if the most logical thing here is to simply play along with them.
"Do you have a problem with it?" I ask, unsure how to read him.
"No, they're both adults, they can do what they want, I actually think he mellows her out a bit if I'm honest. It's good for her. Unless he fucks it up"
"Then what?"
"Then I'll have a problem with it."
He goes quiet after that, keeping the arcane details to himself.
I watch the Annie and Adam out of the corner of my eye, I cannot wait to ask her about this!
Will clears his throat loudly, forcing them out of their little bubble.
"Well if you two are quite finished," he says, "I'm going to have to get out of here. It's getting late and I have to come back first thing tomorrow to open up, thanks for that by the way Annie."
Annie sticks her tongue out at him. No matter how old we get, siblings will always behave like siblings.
It's very clear neither Adam nor Annie want to finish up their little meeting, but Adam goes ahead and makes it all that bit clearer.
"Um, I'm going to give Annie a hand with these tiles before I go," he says, "they're pretty heavy."
He lifts one side of the box to demonstrate his explanation, but unfortunately for him it rises with ease.
"Aren't they individual samples?" Will says, smirking at them and trying to make it as difficult as possible. What a little jerk.
I decide to jump in and give them the break they're looking for.
"Y'know, I actually didn't realise the time, I'm gonna' shoot too if that's us done for the evening Annie?"
"Yeah sure no problem," she says, almost too eager to get rid of me. "I'll finish up here, Julie is closing so we won't be far behind you."
Annie is literally beaming from ear to ear right now. I'll need every single detail of this thing they have going on, but for now they can have their privacy.
"I'll call you tomorrow," I tell her. "I wanna' know how the meeting with the accountant goes."
"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow Izzy, bye."
She's doesn't even look at me as she waves me off, her eyes are firmly on Adam. Will was right, it certainly wouldn't have been hard to figure out.
As Will and I leave together, he pulls the office door closed behind him.
"I'd be worried they wouldn't even notice if I left it open," he says with a grimace.
"Ew! Of course they would! At least I hope anyway."
We walk side by side out to the carpark, his hand brushing mine with every other step. It feels intensional, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
It's a little after nine, so I imagine Jamie is long home now. I should really be getting back, but I can't shake the desire to get more time with Will, my heart sank a bit inside when he said he was leaving.
We both hover at my car, neither one willing to admit that we're not quite ready to leave each others company.
I perch myself onto the hood.
"So... you been busy?," I ask. It's embarrassingly obvious, but it's all I've got.
"A bit," Will says, "Annie's really sunk her teeth into this renovation, it's like I'm her personal assistant. You had any luck with the placement search?"
"Not yet, I applied to any openings there were with the college, all two of them, they're both a bit of a distance away, but I'll take what I can get. It's just a case of keeping my fingers crossed now."
"It'll happen for you," he says definitively, "I'm not worried."
I know he doesn't actually know that, but it fills me with confidence just hearing him say it.
After that it's almost like we've run out of things to say to each other, but judging by the way Will is looking at me now that we're alone, it's not talking that he's interested in anyway.
He cocks his head to the side, making no secret of the fact he's now leering at me. I can feel his eyes literally devour me, I try not to meet them incase they work whatever magic they have on me.
"You shouldn't look at me like that Will," I say.
A devilish grin sweeps across his face.
"Like what?"
"Like I'm your next meal."
He moves closer to the car, mischief written all over him.
"Maybe I like doing things I shouldn't do Isobel."
There's no missing that innuendo.
Will places a hand either side of me on the hood, leaning in so that I have to lean back just to keep a bit of space between us. I balance my weight onto my hands as he plants himself between my legs.
"What are you doing?," I ask as I look around panicked, but there's nobody else here. Having him this close to me only spells trouble.
"Just getting a better look at the menu," he says as his gaze wanders south.
What he wants is obvious, and I'm finding it very very hard not to hand it over right now.
"You're making this very difficult Will," I protest.
"I know, but damn if I don't I love to see you blush Izzy."
His face is inches from my own when I catch a glimpse of the windows at the side of the bar, remembering that Annie is still in there.
"They'll see us," I whisper, but make no real effort to stop him.
"See what?" he says. "You said you didn't want anything to happen, so theres nothing for them to see... unless you say so."
"Me?"
In an instant Will runs his hands up my thighs, gripping my ass and sliding my body down the hood of the car to his. I can feel him through his jeans as he presses himself against me, sending the pulse between my legs into overdrive.
"Yes, you Isobel..." he says, brushing my mouth with his. "If you want anything more than this, you're going to have to ask for it."
That torturous fuck.
Every single inch of my body tingles. I can't pretend that there's any part of me that doesn't want him to kiss me right this second.
The question sits on the tip of my tongue when a loud chiming from my pocket breaks up the moment.
It's like somebody has set off a fire alarm, and now the sprinklers are dousing any and all heat in their path. I can't tell which one of us is the most frustrated by it.
I pull my phone from my pocket to silence it, and find Jamies name flashing on the screen. Damn it.
I'm not sure what to do, and the second Will picks up on my indecision, he knows exactly who it is.
He sighs, seperating himself from me and taking a step back.
"You better answer it," he says.
There's no annoyance in his voice, and normally I wouldn't dream of it, but I remember how off Jamie seemed earlier, and now I'm worried that tonight didn't go well.
"Are you sure?" I ask, "He had his first class tonight, he's probably just checking in."
"Yeah, you don't want him wondering if somethings wrong, answer it."
I feel like I don't have a choice given the circumstance, so I answer the phone, sliding myself off the hood and turning my back to Will as I do. There's something a little too personal about it, and I wouldn't be able to look at him while talking to Jamie after the position we just found ourselves in, literally.
"Hey Jamie," I say as I press my phone to my ear, "are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm just wondering when you'll be back? It's gettig late."
"Yeah I know, I'll be home soon. How was the class?"
"It was fine," he says, sounding a little disheartened, but I assume that's to be expected. "Where are you? Still with Annie?"
"Yep, still at Benny's."
I debate saying what I do next, but if I'm planning on running my own life and proving it to the likes of Annie, then now is as good a time as any.
"I'm just about to leave actually," I say, "I ran into Will in the car park. We were just catching up before I go."
"Izzy!," Will hisses at me from behind. I turn and raise my finger, gesturing for him to wait. He looks like he wants to kill me.
"Will? That's Annie's brother right?," Jamie asks.
"Yeah, that's right."
I hold my breath and wait for his mood to change, but just as I hoped, it doesn't.
"Okay cool," he says, "so you'll be another half an hour or so right? Do you need me to heat anything up for you?"
Who is this guy and what did he do with Jamie? I can't get over how relaxed he is.
"Not a thing," I tell him, "I ate here. I'll see you in a little bit alright?"
I haven't even hung up the phone before Will is in front of me, eyes filled with worry.
"Why would you tell him you were with me?"
"I told you before that I'd handle Jamie didn't I? What am I supposed to do Will? Keep you a secret?"
"And I told you to keep yourself safe Izzy!," he says, "Telling the guy we're alone together is the opposite of that."
"I am safe. He was fine with it."
"Yeah? Would he still be fine if he found out where my hands were just a minute ago?"
"Of course not! But that would be my fault for letting that happen in the first place wouldn't it?"
He has no responce to that, nor can he, because I'm right.
"And hey," I say, pushing his shoulder, "what the hell where you doing anyway? This is a public carpark!"
"Don't blame me, you were the one sprawled out on the hood of the car, what was I meant to do?"
"I was not sprawled out!" I argue.
Will folds his arms over his chest and shrugs.
"Well that's how I remember it. And I'll continue to remember it that way too."
He raises an eyebrow as a cheeky smile creeps up one side of his face. What have I gotten myself into with him?
"Okay, that's it!," I say, my finger wagging at him like he's a bold child. "No more flirting! No more touching! Especially where anyone could walk by and see, I'm serious!"
Or at least I try to sound serious, but Will can only seem to see the funny side.
"You know, by specifying that I can't touch you when people can see, it seems like you're pretty okay with just the touching part."
All I can do is sigh, rolling my eyes at how cocky he is. I lean myself against the door of my car, allowing reality to bite us both.
"I'm serious, this kind of messing around does have to stop. Things are changing Will. You can say I'm being naive but they are. And I can't continue to keep you a secret, it's not okay, not if we're going to be friends."
I know deep down that if Jamie had a problem with me talking to Will right now, he wouldn't have bitten his tongue, I'd have known about it for sure. He's still trying for me. I at least owe him the same effort.
"Is it such a bad thing that I don't want you getting hurt Isobel," Will asks as he leans against the car beside me, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he does.
"No, it's not, but I promise, if I was in any way worried about him freaking out, I wouldn't have said anything."
He looks at me like he absolutely does not believe me, but theres nothing he can do about it now anyway, it's done.
"Fine," he says relenting. "If you say it will be alright, then I'll trust you… although I don't know how I feel about the fact I'm not your dirty little secret anymore."
He lets out a soft chuckle as he nudges my arm. Just like him to inject humour where I thought there was none.
"Seems you'll have to get used to it, friend," I tell him.
"Hmm, thats disappointing, but in that case friend, how about lunch on Saturday?"
"This Saturday?," I ask.
"The very one. If you're so adamant that he knows about me, then I assume that it wont be a problem?"
"It won't, but I'm working this weekend."
"Not a problem," he says, "I'll come meet you there. One o'clock sound good?"
"Sure, I-I think so."
I feel a little flustered, like he's just asked me on a date or something.
"Will you have to tell him about it?," he asks, letting his face gets all serious again.
"Jamie? No, I wont have to, but I will."
Will chews his lip, letting needless worry invade his thoughts.
"I need you to do something for me then," he says.
"What?"
"I need you to let me know that you're alright when you do."
"When I tell him we're having lunch? Don't be so silly Will, it's just lunch with a friend, it will be okay."
"That's not what I asked Isobel."
"Okay fine, I'll let you know. I'll tell him tonight, that way you wont have to spend your time getting stressed about it."
"Good. Alright then, I guess I'll let you get home, unless you want to continue what we started?"
Will tips his head back to the hood of my car, daring me to be bold. This guy really is unbelievable.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, praying this isn't going to be what I'm up against forever.
"I'll see you Saturday Will."
He laughs at me as I wave him off and jump into my car. Yet again I feel like kicking myself for my behaviour. I'm honestly glad that Jamies call came in when it did, stopping whatever stupidity was about to happen.
Note to self: In future, only populated areas are safe with Will.