Javi
I ran and entered my car, I panted holding my heart. I closed my heart and breathed deeply, inhaling and exhaling as fast as I could. The guards asked
"Sir, are you alright?"
I nodded searching for my backpack, I pulled out a bottle of pills as I swallowed 3 of them. I know I overtook the pills but I can't help it. I need to calm my nerves. Antidepressants are the last hope, otherwise, my panic attacks won't stop.
My Hiraeth. Stop, stop, stop. Don't think about it.
She is beautiful. God damn it. She is the reflection of the sun. She was glowing inside, her cheeks puffed up and her flushed cheeks, she was happy, she was fulfilled and overwhelmed with love that wasn't mine. She was giddy, she was chatty, and her round eyes became huge when she talked. She was so beautiful. She was more beautiful as a mother. Stop, stop, stop, don't think about it.
No no no. You don't have anything towards her. Act nonchalant. Nothing happened. Act nonchalant. I breathed heavily as I looked at the airport back. My throat clogged, chest tightened uncomfortably as I rested my head on the window rail. I felt a thick tear trickling down my eye without my notice. After four years, a glimpse of the first love of mine.
In your eyes, I don't see a shred of love for me.
You are all I have, but you found someone.
I wish it could be so that God would grant my plea.
In your place, love, death would take me.
If you are not to be mine, then what is left to be?
God would be a lie in a place of such cruelty.
God snatches the one. The one dearest to us.
You're ready to leave. Your words are deceitful.
You know all too well. I'd never be able to leave you.
And so you lead me on. Make me dance to your tune.
In our next lives, may it so be that I'm born as you.
And you'll be me.
But we live only once.