3 YEARS AGO
FLASHBACK
Ragged breaths were heard exposing straight out of her lungs. her forehead was painted with creases and frowns...her limbs trembling and her arms were on the verge of shaking, legs becoming numb. Eyes will soon be blanketed…her eyes were looking behind her in between seconds. Her breaths were getting heavier and then consequently she felt she would soon be breathless. Because she wasn't able to inhale the air in a controlled time, her time was mismatched and her breath started behaving like waves drowning in the ocean but never crashing on the bank of it. Sweat dripped near the corner of her ears. Her opened rough hairs were flaring in extreme hollowness; her chest was on the verge of bursting out in prickling pain. She was scared...she was frightened and every other adjective if that can be enough to describe her fear. Her feat took her to an alley where it was more difficult to even breathe. Tears covered her eyelids as she turned behind only to find the black-masked man was still following her. There was a mark or design made on the body by the introduction of pigment through ruptures in the skin or maybe it's the inducement of scars. His veiny muscles were covered with ink. As if his arms were a canvas, his black knitwear cardigan was loose enough for his tainted chest to be seen through his sea through an olive green shirt underneath tucked cleanly. His ears had 3 pairs of earrings, silver hoops, and two bronze little dangling ones. His eyes are wolf-like, like shepherd-like. Looking at her as if she was her only prey left to eat because his hungry stomach was growling. Her hands' hair was straightening up just by glimpsing at his glares. She was crying hysterically. Her face was smeared with red tints after crying effects, her face was flushed red and she was having a panic attack, her brain was losing all its connection with the knots of all kinds of wires and she was feeling blank for a while. As if her brain couldn't handle this much pressure of both fear and dread. She was terrified, she was trying to call someone but someone never answered her calls and she lost the last string of hope of getting out of that trap created by this unknown freak. And she was freaking out even then, but her body and brain were giving up. She was barely holding it. her legs shaking as fast as ever to just keep running but it seemed the alley wasn't going to end. She was crying miserably…her eyes locked to the other side of the road and saw a series of black baize colored Mercedes standing in those odd positions and there was a car in the middle of 3 cars on each side. As if those cars were trying to cover up for that particular car. Whatever it was, she wasn't interested in getting her curiosity-filled thirst to be quenched. She thought there must be a human being at least listening…she tried calling someone's number again but it was in vain, her phone's battery lost the energy to keep up like hers. By the time she reached it, she was panting heavily. She knocked on those dark shaded glass windows of each car but all her efforts were getting tarnished. She was on the verge of screaming her heart out. She thought her heart must pop out of her chest to ease the pain it was getting inside by suffocation and extreme pressure. Her veins were popping and panicking and it was showing on her hands. Nobody was answering her pleadings, her phone buzzed as she sighed in extreme relief,
"Hello…Yujin…where is Tristan? Hello hello…Yujin can you hear me?"
She could cry more. She felt someone standing close to her, and she was hearing her own heart beating so fast that it might bleed in a moment. She whispered on the phone and kept running
"Tristan...Tristan…."
She felt that someone was holding her phone and throwing it. Her whole body was frozen to the point that even her eyelids weren't moving. She never looked behind. She doesn't want to face her fear now. She would collapse soon and she was getting a hint of it. She was feeling her brain would explode soon by unconditional pressure. Her brain was numb after a moment and no thoughts passed by. She was feeling blank and with a heavy heart.
"PLEASE HELP…PLEASE HELP….SOMEBODY HELP"
She screamed her lungs out but the man behind her cupped her mouth from behind with one hand and she closed her eyes tightly. She lost every ounce of hope of getting to survive. Her fat tears fell on top of the man's hand. Before everything turned black to her eyes, she heard a gunshot, a great flinch against her back, and the vibration got to her rib cage too. She felt horror. Was she shot? Is she dead…but soon her unconsciousness told her brain that she was dead.
After a few hours
The man collided with the body of the girl closer to him and snuggled up with her with all his body parts in the middle of heavy rain. His eyes saw some men running towards him holding a bunch of umbrellas, blankets, and thick fresh drapes of clothing… he indicated them to expand those warm thick bushy blankets towards his free arms which were free because the other one was spreading warmth through caressing her arms, her back and in between pecking her hairs. He almost hid the girl around his arms caged her on his chest and created a warm cocoon for her just like we create for an infant. She clung more to his warm embrace. His warm breaths hit her face, giving her relief in this chilling environment. He never cared about how badly he was getting drenched by the rain. His worry-filled eyes covered her body with three thick blankets and wiped her hair with a towel and before the umbrella was over his head, he ordered 4 umbrellas to be over the girl's head. He pecked her forehead and was about to take her to his car. His tear-brimmed eyes kept looking at the empty alley. His sun eyes were tired, his Hiraeth was being followed by paparazzi, those paparazzi were chased by police too and in between halting those paps police fired at them, he saw Hiraeth fluttering her eyes open.
Within a minute she was carried by his familiar pair of veiny muscular arms, a concern-filled familiar eyes which were brimmed with billions of teardrops.
"Tristan"
She whispered as she was embraced by a hardened chest and she buried his face in the very familiar chest of her sun-eyed boy, her only family, her home, Tristan. Tristan's soul-wrenching heartbeats were heard against her rib cage and heart-wracking sobs echoed near her ears. She felt Tristan angle her body as if she was feather-like.
"Officers, you want me to talk to your head, no right, then tell them tonight itself that he is no longer on his commissioners' post."
The police force was still there, seeing the idol being this vulnerable in the middle of the road.
Tristan screamed his lungs out and the police officers flinched looking at each other. Tristan was gasping for air because he was deathly frightened to see her pale body. she knew and she held Tristan's arms more tightly. She felt safe after so long, and her tears fell, inhaling his warmth-filled sweaty neck. She felt as if she returned home.
"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am sorry"
Tristan said against her ears and she buried his face on Tristan's neck wrapping his arms around Tristan's neck and hugged him properly. Tristan carried her to his car and kept hugging her until she went calm and she slept on Tristan's neck extracting the warmth Tristan's body was giving to her. This might be a scene to be seen as inappropriate, to be seen as questionable, and sinful. Indeed… but for them, this much affection was normal, as if eating food regularly because people need food to survive. They needed affection to survive.
"Let's go home, huh?"
Tristan cooed at her ears as if she were a newborn, and she nodded, still half asleep, still hugging him as Tristan was carrying her with all his might. Holding her hips powerfully, he landed Hiraeth's exhausted body on the backseat of his car and returned to where his men were standing with absolutely no emotions showing on their faces. He wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes and calmed his distressful heart. He looked at them with wolf-like eyes and anger fueled on his eyelids and his knuckles turned white by the effect of clenching them so hard. His whole face turned red to control the overflowing emotions. they were grief, fear, and most importantly concern.
"Everyone is fired" his cold voice sent chills through each of their bodies and they shuddered standing.
He announced and finally, those scared reactions were shown. Before they could plead, Tristan was already inhaling and exhaling with all his mighty body. The men got triggered and stopped because they never have seen their other master this angry. Because they know, that if anybody harms Hiraeth, they won't see the next day as working men. Tristan was dreading, grieving, and regretting from the inside. He was so miserable that he could cry. But he wouldn't cry more. He has to take Hiraeth to the hospital. Tristan's face was puffed up, the tragedy of losing his only family made him feel so pathetic of himself.
Hiraeth is sleeping peacefully on the back seat with his body smeared with sweat and bruises…he promised he would burn the world if he saw any more bruises on Hiraeth's body. But he failed. He failed Hiraeth. he promised to always protect her but he couldn't and guilt was eating him alive. Tristan could bury people alive just for Hiraeth and he could bury himself alive just for letting Hiraeth get this much hurt. This was Tristan.
END OF FLASHBACK
Tristan
I got up with the sound of rustling in my bed, drenched in dread and sweat. I again dreamt of the past. My entire body was shaking. My feet were limp, my arms were numb but trembling as hell. After another panic attack, my breaths started getting shorter and shorter. I feel my soul is being sucked out of my body, someone's jerking my broken heart and palming it to bleed more. How much more will I bleed?
I just ruined Hiraeth's life by loving her, loving her was forbidden but I still did. After attending the award show, her face was in every magazine and newspaper, every social media site, website, and search engine everywhere. Papparazies started getting more interested in her life than mine and I couldn't protect her. That night when she was chased by a man dressed in black, who wasn't only a pap but also a serial killer, he was assigned to kill her or me. She didn't even know I received a death threat again.
I just can't. I just ruined her life. Destruction was in front of us and we didn't see it. I couldn't save her.
She started getting uncomfortable with little things, she became paranoid about everything, her memories started haunting her, she felt lonely in my house, and she couldn't get out of my house whenever she wanted. She always had to get up so early to reach our LABEL advertisement office or come very late, that too, not even my car, a cab. I was snatching her freedom without even my knowledge of it.
I looked around my hotel room. I felt so much suffocated here. I need fresh air. It will soon be sunrise. I pulled my blanket as I got down. My guards were in the upstairs rooms, and my manager Yujin was staying in a different hotel with my Hollywood producers and directors. I got an offer to sing in one of their songs. I should be happy, but success doesn't make me happy now, it makes me feel lonely and remember separation.
I went near the riverside where Javi and Hiraeth come now and then. This is their favorite spot I guess. My Hiraeth is happy. I guess we weren't meant to be. My health's eyes don't shine like earlier, she is dull, stale, and nonliving. But she is safe, she wasn't safe with me. I couldn't keep her.
A tear fell from my eye. I felt someone's fingers lacing with mine. It was Hiraeth I knew, I could tell even if I didn't see. I could recognize her by her touch alone. I closed my eyes tilting my head upwards in the sky, the breeze was vivid, crisp yet heavy, heavy with our breaths. I could hear her breathing. That means she is near me, very close to me. I don't want to open my eyes, she will disappear if I do it. I want the time to stop, I want me to just die right at the moment. I want my heart to stop like this, then this pain of knowing she will soon return to that man's arms, she will love that man one day, makes me feel like dying, as if glass shards are piercing through my skin. I want to hold her, tell her I love her so much, it's been 3 years, and I want to take her home, our home. But our home had become her greatest hell. How can I make her suffer more? I want to love her, please.
"Tristan"
Her voice is so serene as if she is here. It was thin, it was laced with worry. She still worries about me.
I opened my eyes and turned to my side only to see her round and curious eyes, just like before. Just like before her cheeks were burnt red and she was flustered to see me, I don't think it's because of me anymore.
Her grip on my hand was tight, she came close to me until our noses brushed against each other. She laid her head on my chest and I knew it was my dream like many others. She isn't real anymore, she doesn't leave that man in the night, she might be sleeping in his arms.
I wanted to hold her but her grip would vanish, I wanted to savor the hallucination as ever. I miss her. I could cry. I embraced my arms and I saw it was just the air that was vanishing with every wave of a new breeze. I knelt as I lay down on the grass near the river. My tears fell in silence.
Maybe if we meet by destiny
Memories, oh how peaceful they would be
Maybe our paths will brush past each other
When we will be walking on a famous street
When the mornings will wake us up
Maybe we will be sharing our deepest pieces
When we will dance to a lyric we can relate to
Instead of dancing our souls that night
Maybe we will see the stars from the club's rooftop
We will breathe oh the moon looks beautiful tonight
We will share our full stories
And maybe the flames won't be twins
Maybe we will be shimmery snowflakes
When our colors are warm and the same
When the world will be cold in the rain
Maybe we will embrace each other away