Chereads / Some Weird Sitcom / Chapter 24 - Remember That Time We Became Pirates

Chapter 24 - Remember That Time We Became Pirates

It was the weekend once more and Leo had proposed the boys go to an ice cream parlor right next to the local port, because he wanted salted caramel ice cream.

-"Salted caramel?" Roufail asked when they were done with the orders. "Really?"

-"What's wrong with salted caramel?" Leo asked.

-"It's salty. Ice cream's supposed to be sweet."

-"Well nobody asked you to get salted caramel with me."

-"I don't even know why I'm here." Tempest said. "I don't like ice cream."

He had ordered a bottle of water.

-"And they call me a criminal.." Riox muttered.

-"Correction; you ARE a criminal. But on another note, something feels wrong." Tempest said.

Suddenly, in a typical fashion, Micheal appeared out of Roufail's backpack.

-"Personally I like vanilla ice cream!" He said.

-"I don't remember packing this." Roufail said.

-"Pft, of course he likes vanilla. Fucking normie." Leo said.

-"Is this what you felt was wrong Tempest?" Riox asked.

-"No, this is completely ordinary." Tempest said. "It's something else."

-"Now that you mention it, this is the first place we've been to with normal employees in a while." Roufail pointed out.

It was true. The place was run by a girl named Em Ployee, who looked like she wanted to die.

-"Renie's about to do something stupid." Leo said, decisively.

-"Oh so that's what was wrong! Renie doesn't work here!" Tempest realized. "It all makes sense now!"

-"Who's Renie?" Micheal asked only to be ignored by literally everyone.

All of a sudden, everything went shadowy.

-"Who turned off the sun?" Micheal asked and was ignored by everyone again.

-"I knew this was going to happen." Leo muttered.

Everyone turned around to see a ginormous wooden ship crashing into the beach. The sails were up and a white tomato flag was hanging from the top.

And then there was Renie, wearing a pirate hat, eye patch, hook hand and peg leg, saying "yar har har" repeatedly. He tried to swing down to ground level with a rope but tripped and fell flat on his face.

-"Welp, he's dead. Let's get out of here before he wakes up and makes us 'walk the plank' or something." Leo said as he rushed everyone to get off their seats, but he couldn't get them to even budge an inch due to his non-existent upper body strength.

Then Renie got up.

-"Oh shit." Leo said.

-"Yar har har! How are ye landlubbers?" Renie said.

-"How are you wearing a peg leg?" Tempest asked and was ignored.

-"Do ye scallywags want to join me yar har pirate crew to find booty?"

Everyone exchanged glances.

-"PLEASE COME ALONG I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!" They heard a voice from the boat.

It was Thoso! And Tom was there too.

-"I don't want to be outside. It's like…outsidey, and I don't like it!"

-"Shut up, matey!" Renie said. "So what's it going to be?"

-"It's not like we have anything else to do." Roufail said.

-"I was getting kinda bored." Tempest pointed out.

-"Piracy is a crime not on my list…" Riox thought out loud.

-"Ughhhh Fineeee." Leo groaned.

-"Let's do it!" Micheal said, but Renie looked at him with a very perplexed face.

-"Not ye, matey." He said.

-"Awwww why nooooot??" Micheal said.

Tempest and Leo sensed he was about to have a temper tantrum and signaled Renie to diffuse the situation. Renie instead told him "Nuh Uh." and they got on the ship, leaving Micheal behind.

MEANWHILE, WITH THE JOCK MAFIA

The Jock Mafia and Garlic were in a boat of their own, and Lasios looked very annoyed.

-"I don't get it, why are we on a pirate ship?" He asked for the 5th time that day.

-"What is so difficult to understand?" Garlic exclaimed. "We sink their boat along with all their hopes and dreams and steal their treasure! Or we just kill them. I could go either way."

-"How do you know they even have a boat? Or that they'll find treasure? This is a horrible plan!"

-"I got my hacker friend, Adam, to sell that four eyed geek, Renie, a boat for a couple grand. It's probably made of cardboard. And I have information saying that they've discovered the lost city of Atlantis, I'm confident they can find a treasure." Garlic explained.

-"Who the hell is Adam?" Nikoloff asked.

-"You may not know me as Adam…" The shady guy said as he slid to the scene, "but you may know me as xxepicgamer6969xx!!" He said as lightning crackled behind him.

Lasios squinted, rapidly shaked his head and blinked a bunch of times.

-"How are we going to sink their boat without any cannon balls?" Nikoloff interrupted his train of thought.

-"We can just fire him out the cannon." Garlic said and pointed at Makoutsadiths, who was so fat he was single-handedly tilting the boat 30 degrees.

-"I, for one, will eternally relish the moment the 'LeGang' goes down. Their blood will be the fee for dishonoring me so greatly all this time ago!" Adam dramatically announced.

-"Does he always talk this much?" Nikoloff asked.

-"I usually put him on mute, yes." Garlic deadpanned.

-"So that's why you never respond to me whenever I explain my hatred for my nemesis, Koulis!" Adam said.

EPIC TRANSITION TO THE LEGANG

-"Yar har har, mateys! Let's open this here map!" Renie announced. He opened the map and then gasped "There's booty nearby!?!"

Leo rolled his eyes.

-"Oh, give me this!" He snatched the map from Renie. "This just says map."

-"Man, whoever made this must have been one hell of a cartographer!" Thoso said. A bunch of crickets were heard. "Get it, because hell is bad?"

-"Please never make another joke again." Roufail said.

-"I get all the good ones at home, I swear." Thoso tried to explain, but more crickets sounded. "Screw you guys! I'm going to lock myself in my cabin to simulate being at home!" Thoso announced and stomped away.

-"Oh you guys are idiots! Pirates don't look for treasure, they hijack other ships!" Riox exclaimed. "Just watch me do it".

Riox pulled out a telescope from his pocket and started looking around until he found a yacht sailing around.

-"Aha! Target spotted! Uhh Leo! You're a nerd! Turn this boat around, go straight for the rich bastard!"

-"Kill the rich! Kill the rich!" Roufail started chanting.

-"I don't know how to-" Leo tried to explain.

-"Kill the rich!"

-"To turn the-" He was interrupted again.

-"Kill the rich!!"

-"COULD YOU ZIP IT!?" Leo snapped. "I don't know how to turn the boat!"

Suddenly, something shaked violently in the cargo hold, causing the boat to turn.

-"Wow, nice job Leo!" Tempest praised the dumbfounded Leo.

-"Will nobody go check what that was?" Leo asked.

-"On it." Tempest said.

He walked down to the cargo hold and witnessed Micheal homeschooling with the rats.

"I think this is what mom meant when she said I should fix my sleep schedule." Tempest thought as he turned around.

Meanwhile, at the deck, Roufail approached Tom.

-"You've haven't said anything all day dude. Why are you even here?" Roufail asked.

-"I've been simulating a basketball game where I beat Michael Jordan in my head this entire time." Tom explained.

-"Yeah, checks out." Roufail said.

After Tempest got back from the cargo hold, he went to talk to Renie.

-"I've been meaning to ask you, but why do we have the flag of a white tomato?" He asked.

-"White tomato? No, that's a skull!" Renie corrected him.

-"What the hell is that green thing that looks like a stem then?"

-"That's clearly a pirate hat. Are you blind or stupid?" Renie said.

Tempest decided he was done and started doomscrolling on Isstagram Raels.

After a bit, they met up with the yacht, and they all jumped on its deck.

-"Everyone give me all your stuff! This is a… piracy! Yeah!" Riox announced.

The only person that was on the boat at the time was none other than Matt T. Eacher. He looked around and saw Leo banging his head on the wall, Tempest still doomscrolling, Riox looking like he wanted to fight him, Roufail being Roufail, and Renie saying yar har har.

-"No." He muttered. "NO! NOT YOU KIDS AGAIN! WON'T YOU EVER LEAVE ME ALONE?!"

-"Matt T. Eacher? Don't you live in the school?" Roufail asked.

-"I don't have anything! All I have is this crystalline methamphetamine! Just take it!" Matt T Eacher said as he showed a treasure chest full of meth.

-"Nuh Uh! You're coming with us!" Riox said. "I'm selling your organs!"

Everyone looked at him weirdly.

-"It's for the list." He clarified.

Everyone sighed in relief. Except Leo.

-"HOW DOES THAT MAKE IT ANY BETTER- You know what. I give up." He said and went back to banging his head on the wall.

-"Actually there is something I want to do with you." Renie said. "Tom! Have him walk the plank!"

-"Wait what?" Matt T Eacher asked.

Tom tied him up with a rope and started pushing him out of the yacht.

-"You can't throw me into the water, I'll have you expelled!" Matt said as the others were chanting for his demise.

-"That is, if you survive." Riox said. "This is where I dumped a bunch of piranhas I illegally got into the country. For the list."

-"WHAT? STOP! I'LL GIVE YOU ALL STRAIGHT A IN EVERYTHING I SWEAR!"

-"Ye can't bribe me, landlubber. Prepare for yer demise!" Renie said.

-"NOOOOO!" Matt T Eacher yelled as they shoved him out the yacht.

-"Quick, grab the treasure and let's get outta here before he calls the coast guard." Riox said.

-"Won't the piranhas kill him?" Roufail asked.

-"The guy eats meth for breakfast, he'll be fine. Now let's go!" Riox exclaimed.

The LeGang Pirates loaded up their new "booty" (meth) onto the deck and began sailing back towards the port. On the way they spotted another ship.

-"That's weird, why does it have a ginormous sphere on its deck?" Roufail asked.

-"Yeah it's really ballsy. Get it? Because ball is another word for sphere and-" Thoso said.

-"When did you get out of your cabin?" Roufail asked him.

-"Right now. Hey is it just me or is that ball getting closer?"

-"WATCH OUT! IT'S HEADING STRAIGHT FOR US!" Leo yelled out. Everyone started to run around and panic.

-"Isn't that Makoutsadiths?" Tempest said after he finally put down his phone. "Did he join our crew? And why is he in the air?"

-"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Roufail yelled in Tempest's face as he grabbed him by the collar and violently shook him around.

Suddenly, Micheal came out of the cargo hold, and jumped towards Makoutsadiths. His hair had fallen off, his clothes were tattered and his skin was green for some reason.

-"That's what was in the cargo hold? Tempest, why didn't you tell us?" Thoso asked.

-"So that wasn't a hallucination? Odd." Tempest said.

-"I think I've seen this on TV before." Leo pointed out.

As well as becoming infinitely uglier, stowaway Micheal had also acquired super strength from the radioactive algae growing on the ship's cargo deck. He punched Makoutsadiths right out of the air, sending him away in an instant, shocking everyone present. The impact created a shockwave, launching Micheal far away, as he let out a blood-curdling screech, and completely demolished the LeGang Pirates boat.

-"NOOOO!" Renie yelled. "MY HOPES AND DREAMS HAS BEEN SUNK!"

-"Don't you mean have been sunk?" Roufail asked.

-"No, I literally named the boat "My hopes and dreams"." Renie explained.

-"Adam! You genius! You actually sold them a cardboard boat!" Garlic exclaimed.

-"We didn't have a big budget…" Adam explained.

-"I'm getting the treasure!" Nikoloff said and dived into the ocean. He came back up with the treasure chest from Matt T Eacher's yacht.

-"Open it!" Lasios demanded, and so it was. Nikoloff opened the chest and discovered…

-"It's just some meth." He said, disappointed.

-"Wait what?" Garlic deadpanned.

Suddenly, it happened.

-"Is it a bird?" Adam asked.

-"Is it a plane?" Tom questioned.

-"No…" Garlic spat. "It's-"

Man swooped in and quickly punched all the Jock Mafia members unconscious.

-"I may no longer be Meth Man, but meth is still no good! This will be taken to the proper authorities!" He announced, as the LeGang Pirates cheered him on.

-"Oh, here come the authorities now!" He said, as a coast guard rescue boat came closer to the scene.

-"GAH! EVERYONE START SWIMMING AWAY!" Riox exclaimed, and he dived away from the scene

-"WAIT! WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU!" A random coast guard guy shouted. Riox flipped him off as he and the other LeGang Pirates swam away.

Well, except Leo.

-"I think I'll just sit here and drown." He said, as he began sinking below the surface.

SOME WEIRD SITCOM SEASON 2 EPISODE 24 END

NO BREAK NEXT WEEK