It was breaktime at school and the boys were breaking the rules by staying inside the class to talk.
-"Okay, fine, I give up. Just call Riox." Leo conceded.
-"Took you long enough." Tempest said.
-"I know right? I thought he'd never accept it, what a stubborn fellow he is." Morris remarked.
-"What's going on?" Roufail asked as he just walked in the class after taking a deserved 3 week long break from easy and simple school tasks.
-"Where the hell have you been all this time?" Tempest asked.
-"I was pondering." Roufail answered while thinking back to the nights where he blankly stared at his ceiling, thinking.
-"So, as I was saying, what did Leo agree to?"
-"Calling Riox to ask him for help with finding Kewmed. He was against that idea in the beginning because asking for help from someone would go against his ego." Tempest explained.
Leo quickly got up from his chair before declaring
-"That isn't the case in the slightest! It's just that depending on Morris to call him would go against my pride and honor as someone who is always right! I still stand by the fact that if we just looked a bit harder we could find him by ourselves, but you're lucky I'm too lazy to."
-"Isn't that basically the same thing-" Morris attempted to say before getting shushed by Tempest.
-"Sure buddy - it's best not to go against him at moments like these."
Roufail then got between them as he objected
-"Hey, hey, hey. Let's not forget Riox is a wanted criminal, even worse, I mildly dislike him!"
-"We don't care." Leo said.
-"He does bring up a fair point, what if the police trace our call and we become suspects or something. We have technically bore witness to a number of his crimes after all." Tempest pointed out.
-"Don't worry, everyone within our… Occupation is fully aware of these kinds of risks, so we use a platform that the cops could NEVER trace!" Morris reassured him as he pulled a laptop out of someone else's bag and opened the platform in question; Kype.
-"KYPE?! Oh come on, the connection is always ass!" Leo complained.
-"Indeed it is, and that's why we use it. The connection is so horrible that all attempts to trace the calls end up having completely unintelligible results. Now, let's do it."
Morris quickly inserted his account's details, before realizing he had forgotten his password.
-"Try your birthday." Roufail suggested.
Morris inserted 8/7/69, it wasn't valid.
-"Try your favourite person's name or something." Leo suggested.
Morris inserted "Dina Luca", it wasn't valid.
The bunch of them thought about it for a while, before Tempest figured it out as he took the laptop, typed something comically long in and it was the correct password for the account.
-"Huh. What was it?" Morris asked.
-"I thought describing that flying horse of yours from your perspective was probably gonna be the password. I was correct, but I also knew that if I suggested the idea I'd run the risk of having you audibly do the description." He explained.
-"Smart thinking Tempest! You're almost as useful as me!" Leo "congratulated" him.
-"Well, at least I'm more useful than the person sitting to your left." Tempest said.
-"Oof, that's rough. He called you useless." Roufail told Morris, who was sitting to Leo's right.
-"Enough stalling already! Time to call the man!" Morris said as he clicked on the video call button.
As the seconds of waiting for Riox to answer passed, the thought that he wouldn't answer started slowly creeping into everyone's minds, and with it came a suggestion of the prospect that Kewmed's recovery would take even more time at the very least. Unfortunately, Riox picked up.
-"Heeyy. What's up. Yo I see you… each other!" Riox greeted them.
-"I can barely understand what he's saying. We are definitely on the right app." Morris exclaimed.
-"Forget that, where the hell is he?!" Leo said as he pointed at Riox's video.
-"Wait, we're actually seeing him?! I thought this was a mural!" Roufail said. An understandable mistake to make as the video ran on 3.5 pixels and 1 frame per every now and then.
-"I'm currently running away from the authorities in one of the most horrible places on earth; Detroit."
-"Wait, how come you two didn't check Detroit when looking for him? It's a pretty big city!" Morris asked Leo and Tempest.
-"Are you kidding me? There's no way we're stepping foot anywhere near Detroit!" Tempest said, as if the lot of them haven't gone through hell and back a million times already.
-"Yeah, my life is too precious to risk like that!" Leo said, as if he hasn't risked his life way more for way less in the past.
-"Can we just get this thing over with?? We're desperate to find Kewmed, would you have any suggestions as to what we could do?!" Roufail pleaded.
-"Hm, so you're looking for that punk, huh? Well, I'll need to know what exactly happened with him to give you a proper plan." Riox said.
While Roufail yaps about the season 2 finale, here is a presentation by Nick on the top 10 reasons why he should stop getting abused in every episode:
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6.i har d
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Thanks for watching! Back to the show.
-"So, did you get all that?" Roufail asked after talking for 5 straight hours.
-"What? Sorry I was thinking about my plan for the next bank robbery, what were you saying?" Riox asked, unfortunately due to Kype being Kype, what was actually heard was "Bank robbery".
-"What? A bank robbery? What purpose would that serve?" Before Leo's question could be answered the call ended due to Kype's servers falling apart after attempting to process Riox's stream with more than 3 micropixels.
-"Welp, you heard the man." Tempest said.
-"Are you stupid? Why would we ever rob a bank?! How would that even help with finding Kewmed?!" Leo made an unironically fair point.
-"Who knows, maybe because Riox and Kewmed were partners in crime a couple times we can use the robbery as bait to lure him in!" Unfortunately for Leo, his friends weren't known for their smarts.
-"I… You know what, I give up. Just know, when this goes completely wrong, I'm SO gonna say the FATTEST 'Told you so'!" Leo conceded.
-"That only leaves you, then." Tempest said as he turned to face Morris who was foaming out the mouth at the prospect of a bank robbery.
-"Oh come on, one instance is enough, if we overdo it with the Romanian thief jokes it'll be unironically racist even if we're all from the balkans!" Roufail complained.
-"What? Oh, I assume you're not aware… Right, no one is." Morris noted before standing up to face them as a bright light shone behind him.
-"Thief stereotype?! Has anyone ever considered the cause behind its creation? Prejudice? Uneducated conclusions? Sheer idiocy and plain racism? Maybe. But the real cause behind it… IS ME!"
The three boys stood confused before he elaborated
-"It's simple really. I'm a connoisseur of stealing, according to government agencies I'm a bit too much of a connoisseur, which is why I've been classified as a "Most Wanted Criminal", alongside Riox. That's how I met him, as everyone with that label used to be part of a counseling group, before Riox exposed it in order to commit treason. But before he did that, I assisted him in committing identity theft by having him change my legal name and facial characteristics."
-"Wait… Your name ISN'T Morris??" Roufail asked, completely flabbergasted at such a shocking revelation.
-"Did you actually think a Romanian teenager's full legal name would be 'Morris'?"
-"Yeah."
-"Wait, so if I get this right… You committed so many robberies that you single handedly created a stereotype against your entire ethnic group?" Tempest asked.
-"Yuh uh."
-"Sick. This bank robbery is gonna go fantastically." Tempest proudly announced.
-"But how will we get to a bank? The Some-Weird-Mobile™️ doesn't work without Riox to pilot it, and walking everywhere leads to lumpy stretches filled with obviously filler dialogue!" Roufail said.
-"More importantly, a bank robbery requires a whole lotta planning which, I don't know if you realized, we've done absolutely none of!" Leo continued ruining the mood.
-"Don't worry. I had this all planned out just in case we ever needed to pay off Roufail's debt again. To the van!" Tempest declared.
-"The what?"
It was a plain white van with a big poster advertising the delivery company that Tempest's dad worked at.
-"The SW Van!" Tempest stood proudly beside it.
-"Y'know what… I give up, that 'I told you so' will feel even better if I just let you do your thing from now on." Leo sighed.
-"HELL YEAH! HOORAY!" Morris and Roufail jumped up in the air to celebrate the van's awesomeness.
-"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Michael said.
-"Alright guys, in the van we go!"
15 minutes of driving later
…
…
…
-"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
-"He's been here all along, yknow." Leo said.
-"Why didn't you say anything?!" Tempest asked him.
-"What? I told you I'm not gonna interrupt your job. Should've been paying more attention is what I say."
-"Who the hell is this dude, how did he get in the van without us noticing, and why do you people act like he's the second coming of Satan?" Morris asked as he had never seen Michael before.
-"Irrelevant. Michael, how did you know we would be coming here?! We didn't even send anything in the groupchats!" Tempest ignored Morris' question, leaving Roufail to explain the Michael lore to him while the latter answered
-"Some dude who said he wanted my unique abilities for a job offered to drive me to… Wherever that job is. He even went to put a bag over my face but I think he got scared when he saw you guys. You're real mean, you know, stealing his van like that!"
Everyone looked at him with the most blank of expressions, except for Leo, who was laughing his ass off
-"DUDE, YOU WERE ABOUT TO GET KIDNAPPED! HAHAHAHAHAHHA!" Leo squeezed in an insult while in the middle of laughing at Tempest's face.
-"What? No way. I'm sure if you just gave his van back to him he'd be willing to tell us what his true motives were!"
-"As much as I hate to say this, Leo is right. This is my dad's van. That dude was about to steal it and kidnap you for some inexplicable reason. He ran away because he saw I had the keys and figured it was my van." Tempest said.
-"Now that you mention it, where even is your dad? And why are you driving? When did you get a license?" Roufail asked Tempest.
-"My Dad is too busy practicing kung-fu to drive us there. And as a wise man once said, a license is nothing more than an unnecessary certificate of experience." Tempest remarked while driving on the wrong side of the road.
-"Uh, okay. So anyway, Morris, were you actually the one who created that stereotype against Romanians?" Roufail turned to face Morris.
-"Huh? Yeah. In reality, the effective theft related crime rate would be 0%if it wasn't for me single handedly driving it up. What can I say, I like my hobby."
-"This is gonna go horribly." Leo exclaimed.
-"No, dude, the bank is where we're going!" Michael corrected Leo before being kicked out from the back of the van and into the road, which is when he proceeded to start running alongside the van due to his inability to take a rather obvious hint.
After a tedious drive, they finally arrived at the outside of the bank.
-"Alright. Here is the plan: We go inside and do the robbery. Whoever pulls the shortest straw out of these is gonna be stuck outside with Michael." Tempest said as he pulled out 4 straws of differing sizes.
-"Hey, why do I have to be outside?!" Michael objected.
Tempest then slowly turned his head towards Michael with a dead, emotionless, wide-eye expression.
The straws were pulled, and fate didn't side with Roufail on this occasion.
-"Aw, damn it." Roufail exhaled.
-"Suck it, loser! Now I get front row seats to this horrendous failure!" Leo celebrated.
-"Alright, so what is the plan, Morris? You're by far the most experienced and my previous attempt at robbing a bank didn't… Go very well." Tempest said before he turned to face Michael again for a brief moment.
-"I'm so glad you asked! So basically, we put on these suits, barge in, steal everything we can, then leave." Morris explained as he pulled out three white jumpsuits, seemingly out of nowhere.
-"Where the hell were you keeping these?!" Leo asked.
-"Up my ass. Obviously." Morris answered without the slightest hint of irony in his voice.
-"I'm not sure if I wanna wear… This, anymore." Leo remarked with a disgusted look on his face.
-"They give you superpowers."
-"Oh, word?!"
In the next moment, all three of them had worn them.
-"So, what powers do I get?" Leo asked.
-"I dunno. I stole them from some random scientist down the street. I guess we'll find out as we go along." Morris answered.
-"Alright then, we're going in. Roufail, you stay inside the van with Michael and make sure he doesn't do anything… Like, period. That good?" Tempest said.
-"Yeah yeah fine, just get over with it cause I'm stuck with the most boring 'task'." Roufail answered.
-"Too bad, you should've had better luck. A skill issue, really." Morris exclaimed before they started walking towards the entrance of the bank.
"Tch, can you believe them?! Forcing me to look after you like you're a kid, surely you're responsible enough to stay put while I go with them, right? Right?" Roufail turned to face Michael, only to realize he was nowhere to be found.
…
-"Fuck."
Tempest, Leo and Morris walked inside the bank. While their unusual attire would attract looks from strangers under normal circumstances, their 3 consecutive seasons of tomfoolery made the average person quite used to absurd sights.
-"Okay, the reason I picked this bank is because it's the same as the last one I tried to… Take the belongings of." Tempest said.
-"Way to go dude, totally inconspicuous." Leo said sarcastically.
-"It doesn't matter how conspicuous we are. If anything, the more conspicuous we are, the better. After all, we want that Kewmed dude to see this and be lured in!" Morris explained.
-"Fair enough, I do, however, applaud you for having this much blind confidence in such a half assed 'plan'." Leo told him.
-"Meh, I've done more with less." Morris shrugged him off.
-"I don't doubt it."
-"Can you two stop waffling and get over here?! I found the entrance to the treasury!" Tempest yelled at them.
-"Well, that was surprisingly easy." The naive Leo remarked.
MEANWHILE
-"This is where I last saw him, detective!" Roufail had employed a detective to look for Michael.
-"Hm. I see." Renie said while looking at the wrong van.
"Man. Detectives are such unorthodox people!" Roufail thought to himself.
-"So, where do you think he might have gone?" Renie asked him.
-"Isn't it your job to figure that out?"
-"Oh, right. What are you guys doing in a van outside a bank anyway?"
-"Uhhhhhhhhh…"
BACK TO THE UTMOST INCONSPICUOUS ROBBERY
The three of them went through a couple doors, hallways, stairs, closets, bathrooms, windows and keyholes before they finally reached the actual entrance to the safe.
-"I'm. Never. Doing. Anything. With. You. Guys. Again." Leo said as he panted.
-"You have a better shot at getting in the NBA than for that to happen." Tempest told him.
-"At last, we're finally this close!" Morris said as he panted from exhaustion.
-"You should really look into improving, you know." Leo told Morris with the explicit purpose of pissing him off.
-"You should really look into killing yourself, you know." The pissed off Morris rebutted.
-"I don't think I'll have to if we continue doing this kind of stuff."
-"Relax guys, stop wasting time before we get found out and this whole operation is blown. Now, let's go-" Tempest got interrupted by the sounds of buzzing saws, laser beams, poisonous darts and giant rolling boulders all at the same time.
-"I guess it did seem too easy. Thanks for the save by the way." Tempest thanked Morris who pulled him out of the way of a laser beam at the last second.
MEANWHILE
-"DAMN IT! WE'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE AND HE'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND!" Roufail yelled out while scrolling on Pik Pok.
-"I'm telling you, let me check inside the bank!" Renie said.
-"NEVER!"
-"Oh well, you know what they say. If you can't do it on your first, second, third, fourth… nine hundredth seventy fourth time, then it's not meant to be!" Renie said before ripping out his detective suit, revealing his all purple suit below it.
-"Who the hell says that?" Asked Roufail who couldn't see Renie's new attire as he was too busy looking at the latest Rizzler drama.
-"Shut up ho 'fore I smack you!" Renie yelled at him before leaving in a conveniently placed limousine with multiple prostitutes inside.
-"Huh. That's weird. What was I doing again?" Roufail had scrolled for so long that he forgot what he even came there to do. Until he remembered
-"OH NO RIGHT, MICHAEL-"
CAN YOU TELL I'VE RAN OUT OF IDEAS FOR TRANSITIONAL TEXTS AFTER 30 EPISODES? (nah not really)
The boys had made it to the other side of the hallway, having gotten past all the traps.
-"Oh man, this sure was one whacky situation to navigate!" Leo remarked.
-"Indeed. It'd sure suck to not be here to see it!" Tempest agreed.
-"What the hell are you talking about? We literally just used the super durability of Tempest's suit as a shield. It was damn near lame, to be honest." Morris said.
Tempest and Leo glanced at Morris like he'd just said the most shameful thing of all time.
-"Yeah, sure. But that's not how you make Roufail jealous about not being here, do ya? Checkmate." Leo exclaimed before high fiving Tempest.
-"But he's not even… Okay screw it, let's just get through this door and get this over with."
-"Now that you mention it, isn't this a bit too small to be a door for a bank's safe? Aren't they supposed to be super huge and have rotating lock mechanism things or whatever?" Tempest wondered.
-"Oh, those were just a ploy to sabotage me. They're shown in every documentary and movie to make me think that I'm at the wrong door every time I go to rob a bank. Thankfully I happened to steal the classified CIA plans detailing this glorified gaslighting attempt while on my day off, so I never fell for it." Morris explained.
-"You know what. At this point. That may as well be the case, yeah." Leo said reluctantly.
-"Oh well, let's just open this door so we can access all that sweet sweet money. Looks like we were too good in this robbery and ended up not alerting anyone enough to the point of it becoming a news story big enough for Kewmed to see it, so we may as well just take the money so this isn't a complete waste of time." Tempest said as he reached for the doorknob.
-"Wait! Don't forget the doorknob trap." Morris stopped him before handing him the Doorknob Trap Deactivating Gadget™ that every self respecting bank robber has to be equipped with.
-"Oh, right! Rookie mistake!"
Throughout this entire interaction Leo stood there in complete silence contemplating the scenario of his entire life being a poorly coded simulation.
-"Now that I have this, let's properly do it!" Tempest announced before he went to use the Doorknob Trap Deactivating Gadget™.
-"Hey guys!" Michael greeted them, startling Tempest but not enough for him to set off the trap.
-"Jesus Christ, dude! How are you even here?!" Tempest asked.
-"I think it's pretty obvious. Roufail died and now he came here to haunt us in the spirit of Michael. Truly tragic." Leo said as he assumed a praying position, Morris went to pray as well but Tempest stopped him.
-"Oh, look, a door!" Michael said as he grabbed the doorknob. Thankfully, Tempest and Morris immediately tackled him to the ground before he could activate the trap.
-"Leo, come and hold him down while we finish the job before his dumbass gets us killed!"
-"What? Oh but I'm in the process of losing my dear friend Royfailure. I don't know if I have the inner strength to-"
-"JUST DO IT ALREADY!" Morris yelled at him.
-"Fine. Jokes aside, Roufail is definitely getting a talk concerning his obsession with that stupid eyepatch. I bet a cashew that the reason he lost sight of Michael is because he willingly disabled 50% of his own vision." Leo rambled as he sat down on Michael's back.
Finally, Tempest and Morris used the Doorknob Trap Deactivating Gadget™ only to come to a shocking realization.
-"OH NO!" They both yelled out at the same time.
-"What happened?" Leo asked.
-"I ACCIDENTALLY GAVE HIM THE DOORKNOB TRAP ACTIVATING GADGET™!" Morris answered.
-"WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU BRING SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO A BANK ROBBERY? WHY DO YOU EVEN OWN IT?!" Leo yelled at him.
-"I DON'T 'OWN' IT, I STOLE IT AND FORGOT TO PUT IT SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN MY POCKET!"
-"THAT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I'VE SEEN ANYONE DO!"
-"DON'T JUDGE ME I HAVE A LOT ON MY MIND RECENTLY, R.ASH STARTED COMPLAINING ABOUT ME TAKING HER FOR GRANTED, YKNOW!!"
-"Don't worry guys. We're completely and unequivocally fucked-" Tempest declared before they were all blown away by the activation of the trap; a giant balloon that inflated at extremely fast rates, to the point that upon activation it launched them all into the stratosphere.
The balloon continued expanding even after it grew so big the entire bank was demolished, with a piece of debris falling down and destroying the SW Van. At the same time Tempest, Leo and Morris were carried down from the sky to the front of the van by R.Ash.
-"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!" Roufail asked.
-"SHUT UP AND RUUUN! ALSO YOU'RE GETTING YOUR WAGE CUT!" Leo said before he started running so fast he became invisible to the human eye.
-"Huh, so I guess that's what his suit does." Tempest remarked, before seeing his suit was still standing there right beside him, meaning that he literally ran right through it.
The balloon's expansion continued accelerating, meaning that Leo's judgement to run away at hypersonic speeds was correct. Upon realizing that, the rest of them immediately started running as well, with Morris' suit's ability to create one hoverboard being activated, giving him the speed advantage over the other two.
-"GOD DAMN IT WHY ISN'T RASH JUST CARRYING US TO SAFETY?" Tempest asked.
-"I TOLD Y'ALL, SHE'S MAD AT ME FOR OVERWORKING HER AND NOW SHE'S BEING PETTY." Morris said without the slightest hint of irony.
-"WHAT THE FUCK DID I MISS WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON?!" Roufail yelled to himself.
All hope appeared to be lost, until.
Michael was falling down from the stratosphere as nobody bothered to tell R.Ash to save him.
-"Ruh oh! Save me, Dynosaure!!" Michael said as he summoned his favourite dinosaur; Dynosaure.
Dynosaure was for all intents and purposes, pretty much just a T-Rex with extreme down syndrome, so they just continued falling together, however, once Dynosaure landed on the balloon, his teeth made contact with it, making it pop and launching the two of them back into the sky while also saving the day in the process.
THE NEXT DAY
The boys were at the hospital visiting Leo who had sprained his ankle while running the day prior.
-"So uh. Got anything you wanna say?" Tempest asked the visibly irritated Leo.
Coincidentally, Michael was creeping up the hospital room's window, intending to surprise them with the revelation that he was the one who stopped the balloon alongside his dinosaur.
-"IIIIIIIIIIIIII
TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLDDDDD
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!"
Leo yelled so loud he broke the sound barrier and launched Michael into space without anyone noticing.