It was a dark, gloomy night. The Jock Mafia had assembled for their annual BBC (Big Bad Convention) and were discussing their plans on how to take down their adversaries when Nikoloff brought up the "nerds at school who keep ruining our shit".
-"Yeah man, they're so annoying! Even if we're not doing anything wrong at the moment they end up fucking us over somehow and they don't feel the slightest bit sorry either! They can't keep getting away with it!" The enraged Lasios announced upon being reminded of the boys' existence.
-"And that Tom dude keeps cheating his way into beating us in basketball! Because there's no way we'd lose to him during the BBC Basketball League in any other context!" The Marmeladides brothers said.
-"Why do you two keep naming stuff 'BBC'? Now that I think about it, didn't you also come up with the name for this convention?" A random lackey asked.
-"Silence!" The Marmeladides brothers silenced him by throwing him out the window.
-"Great! That was our last lackey. Everyone else is either in the hospital, dead, missing, or a combination of the above. And it's all THEIR fault!" Lasios said without a hint of self awareness, as per usual.
-"Well… HehHeh. I sure am glad to have stumbled upon you lot again, and with 'stumbled' I mean graced you with my presence!" Garlic started yapping.
-"What are you getting at?" Nikoloff asked Garlic.
-"See, the problem with these idiots is that they're together all the damn time. That means that if one of them has good luck, it will end up benefiting the rest of them as well. But we can use that strength of theirs and turn it into a weakness!"
-"HOW?!" Everyone asked in astonishment.
-"Simple. We turn one of them on our side!" Garlic revealed.
-"Which one of them? They are a pretty strong friend group even though they act like they hate each other half the time." Lasios asked.
-"There's this one guy amongst them who has been spending less and less time with them lately… His name is Kewmed."
Lasios charged at Garlic and threw him on the ground, he assumed a dominant position over him as he grabbed his shoulders in order to firmly pin him down on the floor and he began looking at him with a truly feral stare, while Garlic immediately realized that in this situation he was the submissive one and uhhhfhhhrrrrhhhhhh what was I saying?... Oh yeah, then Lasios told him
-"I'M NOT EVER WORKING WITH THAT DUDE! HE BROKE THE GOLDEN VAPE! THAT IS AN UNFORGIVABLE ACT!"
Garlic was scared shitless, as that is his regular response to any kind of conflict with most people. But after 15 minutes of panicking, shitting, pissing and crying, he managed to come up with a mediocre at best comeback
-''YOU IDIOT WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE SO MUCH ABOUT A DAMN VAPE YOU ADDICTED FIEND!''
Lasios then brutally beat up Garlic for insulting him, but a few hours into the beat down, he realized that Garlic's plan probably wasn't so bad, so after beating him for a couple more hours he agreed to the suggestion, although by then Garlic was nearing heaven's (or probably hell's) door.
ONE WEEK LATER
The "nerds at school who keep ruining our shit" were hanging out in Paper St. and waiting for Kewmed to come.
-''What the hell is taking him so long?'' Leo exclaimed.
Kewmed was over an hour late.
-''This is actually insane, he is not just 'late'; he's more late then Roufail!'' Tempest said before pointing at Roufail with a shocked expression.
-''Yeah what he said!... Wait wha-'' Roufail tried to say before getting interrupted by Kewmed's long awaited arrival.
-''What's up nerds?!'' He ''greeted'' them.
-''Uh, hi, I guess. Anyway, why the hell are you so late?! We haven't seen you in forever and you decide to be an hour late on top of that?!'' Leo told him.
-''Yeah, it's almost as if we found out you were a horrible person in the real world and silently wrote you out of the sitcom, before deciding that including you in a few more episodes would be better for the story… Or, something… What were we talking about again?'' Roufail broke a certain wall and got ignored by everyone.
-''I don't know what you guys are yapping to me for. There's absolutely nothing wrong!'' Kewmed said.
There were many wrong things, as a matter of fact. For starters, he was wearing a black hoodie, black pants, some beat up white Nile Air Forters, sunglasses, a fake designer cap and a banana pouch.
-''You're dressed like the ugly child of Pablo Escobar and a war crime.'' Tempest remarked
-''You're dressed like a jock mafia member.'' Roufail remarked.
-''You're dressed like your parents hate you.'' Leo remarked.
-''You guys are just hating on me because I get all the hoes!'' Kewmed said while having DMs drier than the Sahara desert.
Either way, they had stood around in boring Paper St. due to Kewmed's incompetency for long enough, so they ended up moving on with the meetup, but unfortunately for them, Kewmed's jock-ish behavior did not end at his bad taste in clothes.
-''Yo guys! They're showing the upcoming Chibli movie in this theater! Let's go watch it!'' Roufail suggested when the boys walked by a theater with early screenings for the movie ''How Do You Live'', which went on to ALMOST win an Oscar over a western animated film.
-''No dude! That's for pussies! And movies are totally lame too! Let's go play some basketball at the elementary school courtyard, because that's truly fun!'' Kewmed responded.
Leo and Tempest didn't care that much so they just went with Kewmed's idea since he was being the biggest annoyance.
Upon arriving at the elementary school, they played basketball for a whole ten minutes before getting bored, because Kewmed was the only one among them who even liked playing basketball.
-''Hey guys! What are you doing?! We were supposed to ball today!'' Kewmed attempted to gaslight them.
-''I don't remember planning for this at all, so I'm just gonna sit and be on my phone until we go do something actually fun.'' Leo said as he unlocked his phone.
Kewmed then grabbed Leo's phone out of his hands with no permission to spy on his ex's Isstagram stories. Once he was done with this totally healthy practice, he still didn't give Leo his phone back. Instead, he went to stalk Leo's DMs, once again without his permission, which is when a certain girl caught his eye.
-''Yo who is this baddie?!'' Kewmed asked Leo.
-''Dude, that's my cousin! What the fuck!?'' Leo looked at him with disgust before taking his phone back.
-''I see the atmosphere is a bit tense around here, so how about we just order some food and relax?'' Roufail suggested.
-''Uh, no thanks. I'm gonna go out with my second friend group, WHERE THEY ARE REAL ONES AND WE HAVE A LOT OF GREAT FUN!!'' Kewmed announced before unceremoniously leaving.
The rest of the boys decided to go along with Roufail's plan, so he ordered some pizza while Tempest and Leo discussed their next plans.
-''You see, we NEED to make Mineterra in real life. It would be good for the economy and stuff.'' Tempest explained.
-"That is not irrational, that is not an irrational thing to say!" Leo agreed.
Soon after, the pizza delivery man arrived.
-"Alright it'll be 9.99." The delivery man said.
-"Wait, Renie?!" Leo exclaimed.
-"Yeah, that's me." The delivery man (Renie) replied.
-"Huh, I don't think we've ever seen you do the same job twice!" Roufail said.
-"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm just running my pizza store." Renie said as he pointed at the logo on top of the pizza box, which was just his face with "Renie's Pizzeria™️" written below it.
-"Alright now pay up, I've got a pizzeria to run!" Renie told them before leaving on foot.
-"Aren't you supposed to have a bike or something?" Tempest asked him.
-"After certain events transpired I am not allowed to ride any vehicle ever again." Renie answered before disappearing into the mist that suddenly shrouded the area in front of him out of nowhere.
The boys decided it'd be better not to think about that so they just sat down ate their pizza and left-
-"Hey guys, what do you think is wrong with Kewmed?" Roufail asked them. Wait, wasn't this chapter supposed to end here? Uh, I mean,
-"I'm not sure. He's always been a bit more on the edgy side but this recent change in behavior is pretty concerning." Leo said.
-"I say we convert him back into a proper human being next time we see him! We've known him for years, we just need to do the right things at the right time and he'll come back to normal for sure." Tempest's suggestion was met with the agreement of the others, so THEN they ate their pizza and left and… the next day(?) they got together to discuss the Kewmed Retrieval Plan™️ in further detail.
In the end, they decided that they'd meet up with him one more time, and after a series of carefully planned out events, they'd successfully convert him back.
ONE WEEK LATER
And so, the Kewmed Retrieval Plan™️ was kicked into action, of course after the latter came over two hours late.
-"Oh man, it sure is great to know that there is no person better than me!" Roufail (knowingly) acted like a narcissist for the first time, hoping that he'd prompt Kewmed to bicker with him which would lead to a fun unserious argument.
Kewmed, however, didn't even listen to him, as he was wearing airpods. Not only was he doing that while hanging out with friends, he didn't even care enough to ask Roufail to repeat what he said. Roufail, of course, did that anyways, only to be met with the exact same response - or lack thereof.
-"Dude, we need to do something about this! The plan is ruined if the dude can't even hear us!" Leo told Tempest.
-"Don't worry, I'm prepared for this." Tempest said as he gave a mysterious call.
Soon after, Riox appeared with the Some-Weird-Mobile™️, crashed into a store, got out, stole Kewmed's airpods and left by driving the Some-Weird-Mobile™️ through the store and into the road.
-"Oh shit, now how am I gonna appear nonchalant for the hoes?!" Kewmed yelled out while his DMs remained as dry as ever.
The second part of the plan now had to begin, as Leo said
-"Oh man, my life sure sucks! Yesterday I tried to make toast, but I burnt it. This morning I tried to make toast again, but I undercooked it!" Hoping that Kewmed would say something mean in response.
-"Yeah dude, just wait until you hear about my life. This morning, I woke up and I woke up this morning and this morning I WOKE UP THIS DAMN MORNING!..." Kewmed instead went on an incomprehensible rant about how his life sucked more, even though everything he complained about were inconveniences so mild that they made Leo's toast arc look like the trials of Jesus.
Part 2 didn't work, so it was all up to part 3.
-"Guys, wanna go to the water park and have a lot of fun?!" Tempest suggested. This was a foolproof plan, nobody would deny something this fun, unless they were allergic to water, but who the hell is allergic to water?!
-"Nah dude, let's go hang out at your house instead!" Kewmed responded.
-"Great! Wait what-" Before he knew it, Tempest was having a sleepover with Kewmed, even though he never agreed to it.
THE NEXT DAY
Tempest, Roufail and Leo met up privately at Tempest's house soon after Kewmed left to discuss how horribly the Kewmed Retrieval Plan™️ failed.
-"It makes no sense! Nothing went as we expected, and who the hell picks a sleepover at a place he's been to a billion times over the water park?!" Leo said.
-"At least was the sleepover fun?" Roufail asked he turned to face Tempest, who was looking more traumatized than a World War I veteran.
-"I think that answers your question." Tempest said as he pointed to the pile of dirty plates that Kewmed had left on top of Koulis' desk.
-"Hey, actually where is Koulis?!" Roufail realized that Koulis was absent. His question was answered by a distant cry of desperation which originated from the bottom of the plate mountain.
-"Yeah, something is seriously wrong with Kewmed, and I think I figured out what it is." Leo said.
-"What is it?!" Tempest and Roufail asked at the same time.
-"This has to be the work of the jock mafia. I don't know what exactly they did, but look!" Leo answered as he pulled out an invitation letter to Garlic's Birthday Party which would be happening next weekend.
-"Here's the plan. We go to the party, we interrogate them, and we figure out how to undo their brainwashing or whatever it is they did! Who is with me?!" Leo explained.
Roufail and Tempest enthusiastically agreed, and so, Phase 2 of the Kewmed Retrieval Plan became a real plan.
Little did they know, the events of the party would lead to the most unexpected things to ever happen to them up to that point.
SOME WEIRD SITCOM SEASON 2 EPISODE 12 END
ACT 1 OF SEASON 2 FINALE END
NO BREAK NEXT WEEK