The school bell rang, signaling the start of a new school day in the school the boys attended during their school lives which had quite a school-ish take on the whole "school" thing.
-"Oh man, school sure is boring." Riox sighed out.
-"Yeah, is it because you don't have any crimes to commit here?" Roufail said.
-"Exactly!" Riox replied without a hint of irony.
Everyone just kinda sat awkwardly and let that sink in.
-"DON'T WORRY YOU WILL NOT BE BORED FOR MUCH LONGER, YOUNG MAN!" A man shouted.
The boys turned around to see who was being obnoxiously loud at 8 in the morning, fully intending to beat him up.
The source of the noise was a tall, scrawny middle aged man wearing glasses and an obnoxiously bland attire, on top of having his mouth wide open.
-"So will you let me commit crimes or?" Riox asked with full seriousness.
-"EVEN BETTER!"
-"Nothing could ever be better… Although I am desperate enough to entertain a second best option right now." Riox said.
The man then enthusiastically jumped across the hallway, into the class and on top of the teacher's desk.
-"GOOOOOD MOOOOORNING KIDDOS! MY NAME IS JOHN ATHLETICISM, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME MISTER ATTRACTIVE!" He introduced himself.
-"Nobody's calling you that." Leo told him.
-"WELL WHATEVER YOU CAN JUST CALL ME MISTER DAMIAN!" Mister Damian said.
"Damn this dude seems insecure as shit" the boys thought to themselves at the same time.
-"So why are you here? Did we finally get more than one teacher in the entire school?" Tempest asked Mister Damian.
-"No idea what you're talking about. But anyway, the reason I'm here is because there is a… Drumroll please…. SPORTS FEST!" He announced as he scribbled "Sports Feast" on the board, never correcting or even noticing his grammatical mistake.
-"Oh… Wow, so exciting." The entire class said, clearly not excited in the slightest.
-"It will happen today. During school hours." Mister Damian added.
The entire class erupted in cheers of celebration as a rainbow appeared over the sky and everything became noticeably brighter, lifting the mood of the otherwise suicide-inspiring school atmosphere.
The boys were hanging out at the school playground, discussing the upcoming sports fest.
-"Apparently all sports will be teams of two." Tempest said.
-"Oh man, I'm glad we miss lessons but I suck at sports. Hopefully I can just watch from the sidelines or something." Leo said while fighting off a couple of ants that were trying to steal his sandwich, a truly dangerous task for him indeed.
-"I have no such worries! I, for one, am a professional athlete! Many of you may remember the mysterious super cool masked individual who appeared at the last Olympics and won every sport in every gender category! Well… That was me, entering under the disguise of Madman Roy Fail!" Roufail proudly revealed.
-"Why would you tell such an obvious lie? What you're talking about never even happened!" Leo told him.
-"Don't bother. It's better to just let him yap uninterrupted." Tempest pulled Leo to the side.
-"Holy shit, I never even thought of breaking the rules to the Olympics! A whole new world of possibilities has opened for me!" The mesmerized Riox (who believed what Roufail announced) said.
-"Hey, chumps! How about we make this sports fest thing a bit more interesting?!" Lasios approached them.
-"What the hell do you want?" Tempest said.
-"Relax, I have no ill intentions! I'm only here to offer a bet."
-"Go on." Riox told him without a hint of hesitation, motivated by his insatiable hunger for illegal gambling.
-"Alright then. Here's the thing, since every sport will be a team sport, I say we compete against each other. The rules are simple, whichever group gets more victories wins the bet." Lasios explained.
-"And what are we betting?" Riox asked, fully intending to rob everyone in the school of their money only to then bet all of it on his friendgroup winning.
-"The loser has to treat the winner to Piwopiwopiwo!"
The boys were all flabbergasted and immediately took on the bet.
-"A CHANCE TO TASTE SOME LEGENDARY PIWOPIWOPIWO??????" They yelled out in astonishment.
Now I hear you, the dear reader, asking; "what is Piwopiwopiwo?"... I dunno. I'm only writing the story, it didn't actually happen ya dunce! Anyway,
A few more minutes passed and Mister Damian came out to make another announcement.
-"Alright kids! I trusted your teachers to make the pairings and which sport each pair will participate in, so that way we can save time! Surely they know their students well enough to make some truly amazing pairs."
Everyone nervously looked at the list.
"Roufail - Nikoloff: Water Polo
Tempest - Makoutsadiths: Handball
Tom-Marmeladides brother 1 (the other got sick): Basketball
Leo - Lasios: Baseball
Riox-Garlic: Dancesport"
….
THESE PAIRS WERE ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS!
Everyone realized.
-"Update to the bet. Since we're unfortunately paired up, we'll have to use a different system." Lasios said.
-"And what is that system?" Leo asked him to elaborate.
-"Since there's only one actually competent player in each pair, we'll just give the win to the friend group that the player belongs to. If the team loses, the chosen player's team will lose a point! We decided that the competent players are Nikoloff, Tempest, Tom, Lasios and Riox. Any objections?"
-"Wait, why is Tom included, he wasn't even there when we talked about the bet!?" Tempest asked.
-"Well that's who our friend got paired with, deal with it."
After a lot of bickering, they ended up agreeing to the new bet rules, much to the dismay of those branded as "not useful"(especially Leo, who had a large ego and an even larger hatred towards the Jock Mafia).
Alas, the sports fest finally began. First sport; Water Polo.
-"Why are you posing so much?" Nikoloff asked Roufail.
-"I'm not posing." Roufail responded as he continued posing like a car accident victim, fully expecting a camera or news crew to show up.
-"Hey, take this seriously! The match is starting!" Nikoloff called him out.
-"I'm taking this perfectly seriously." Roufail was arguably taking it a little too seriously. He'd really be a threat if it wasn't for his complete incompetence at most things he does.
All matches in this sports fest that concerned the two groups were 2V2s, the opponents of the Nikoloff team were Rin and Fotis.
-"You guys are so hot." Fotis said.
-"Seriously, why do I have to be stuck with this dude." Rin exclaimed while standing outside of the pool, fully clothed in her usual school attire.
-"Hey, why don't you dive in?!" Fotis yelled at her.
-"Uhhh… I'm on my period?" Rin lied, hoping that Fotis would be stupid enough to believe that such a thing would even stop her.
-"Oh hell no I don't want the pool to be filled with your woman blood! You better stay out!" Nikoloff joined in the conversation.
-"Yeah! Girls are so yucky!" Fotis exclaimed.
Much to the luck of Rin, it turned out that Fotis wasn't the only dumbass inside the pool that day.
-"Stop waffling and get organized! The match is starting in one minute!" Pavlidis, who was the referee, yelled at them.
Roufail was the goalkeeper of his team, Nikoloff played offense and Fotis had to fill in for both roles.
-"This sucks! But at least we're safe from the period. Thankfully my quick judgment saved us from getting contaminated with period!" Fotis proudly proclaimed.
The match began as Fotis grabbed the ball, swam around Nikoloff and threw it at the goalpost.
Meanwhile, Roufail was still posing while "guarding" the goalpost.
-"Oh no! He's gonna score!" Leo yelled out from the sidelines.
However, the ball was saved as Roufail happened to make the perfect pose to coincidentally deflect it towards Nikoloff, allowing him to score against the opposing team.
This exact same scenario continued, as Roufail kept miraculously deflecting the ball every time it came his way.
-"Damn it! I need to use my ultimate technique!" Fotis announced with 10 minutes left on the clock and being down 10-0.
He then proceeded to start spasming in the water, to the point that Pavlidis thought he was having a seizure and called off the game early - giving the win to Roufail and Nikoloff.
-"Hey! You didn't let me use my Ultimate Fotis Watersports Ejection!" Fotis complained.
-"You looked like you were gonna drown in 1.5M deep water. If I were you I'd work on my naming capabilities, by the way." Rin told him.
-"You're just a hater! Now get away from me, I don't want to catch a period!"
EPIC TRANSITION BACK TO THE BOYS
-"HAH! That's one point for us! Suck it, nerds!" Lasios celebrated.
-"DAMN IT ROUFAIL! WHY DIDN'T YOU SELL THE MATCH? IT WOULDN'T HAVE AFFECTED US SINCE THE SCORE WAS ZERO EITHER WAY!" Leo was angry at Roufail.
Meanwhile, Roufail was still inside the pool and had just stopped posing.
-"Wait, the match started?" he asked.
The score was currently 0-1 in favor of the jock mafia. Next match; baseball.
Leo was too busy chasing Lasios around with a baseball bat to look at who their opponents were, or anything else for that matter aside from caving Lasios' skull in.
-"It's insane how irrational hatred can give someone such a power boost, normally he would barely be able to lift the bat!" Tempest remarked.
The chase continued until Pavlidis, who was the referee again, decided to step in.
-"Hey you have to stop! The match has just started and you two aren't in position-" He was, however, interrupted when Leo accidentally hit him on the face with the bat.
The chase continued uninterrupted, with Leo continuing to hit everyone in the playing field BUT Lasios. In the end, they won the match due to technicality, as their opponents were all knocked out cold and so was the referee. Leo, however, continued to chase Lasios for another twenty minutes and only stopped when he passed out from exhaustion.
Current score: 0-2. Next match; Basketball.
-"What competition are you guys even talking about?" Tom asked.
-"Don't think about it too hard. Just ball." Tempest answered.
-"Come on, there has to be something in it for me." Tom said.
-"If we do well, we'll get free Piwopiwopiwo for everyone."
-"FREE PIWOPIWOPIWO?!" Tom yelled out before launching himself into the court, he then violently grabbed the ball the moment the match started and proceeded to become an absolute beast in the court, in a bad way.
Due to his excitement, Tom lost sight of his surroundings and would constantly knock over his opponents; Thoso and Micheal.
-"Man, I hate this. Not only am I forced to be outside and do tiring stuff, I'm also getting absolutely manhandled by LeBron James Jr. over here!" Thoso complained.
-"I DEMAND REFEREE ACTION!" Micheal yelled out.
The referee, however, was having a peaceful slumber in the baseball field.
-"Hey wait, where is Marmeladides brother 1?" Lasios asked upon noticing the former's absence from the court.
-"There he is!" Nikoloff pointed at the brother who had gotten stuck inside a wall by Tom during the match.
Needless to say, this was a victory. Current score was 1-2. Next match; Handball.
-"I may not like this dude, but at least he could serve as a good enough meat shield." Tempest said, referring to Makoutsadiths.
The latter was too busy globbering down some comically large amounts of food to get offended.
-"I dunno man, even if you use him as a shield you'll still have to find a way to defeat your opponents alone. This seems like a bad match for us." Leo said.
-"Who even are our opponents?" Tempest asked.
Leo looked over at the opposite side of the court, standing there were two random classmates whose names they didn't even know.
-"Just two NPCs by the looks of it." He replied.
The match began soon after, with Makoutsadiths being showered in balls in a matter of seconds. Tempest was now in a very bad position.
"Damn it, this is a 1V2 in a sport I'm not even good at. Well, not that I'm good at any sport, but whatever, I need to figure out a way to win this… Wait a minute!" Tempest was strategizing when he realized; Renie was the new referee (Pavlidis was still unconscious).
-"PERFECT!" Tempest yelled out in celebration before running over to Makoutsadiths (who was so slow he still hasn't walked out the court), grabbing him, spinning him around in his hand like a basketball, and throwing him at his opponents. He missed horrendously, but the damage made by Makoutsadiths hitting the opposing wall was so great it demolished half of the school grounds and the two opponents may or may not have died in the impact of the explosion, what's for sure is that they went missing and no one ever found them, or their bodies. We don't know.
Either way, with no one to protest the result, and because Renie is a horribly biased ref, team Tempest won.
The score was now 2-2, the next match would be a tie breaker!
-"What the hell is Dancesport?" Leo asked.
Mr.Damian then came out of nowhere and started explaining
-"I HEAR YOUR QUESTIONS WELL, YOUNG SPORT! DANCESPORT IS A SPORT THE RULES OF WHICH I DO NOT KNOW! SO I'LL JUST MAKE THEM UP ON THE SPOT RIGHT NOW! THE TWO TEAMS WILL HAVE A DANCE COMPETITION, AND THE REFEREE WILL ACT AS THE JUDGE! WHICHEVER TEAM GETS THE HIGHER SCORE WINS!"
-"Uh… Okay. I guess." The confused Leo said before Mister Damian returned to the shadows.
A few minutes later, the school building was repaired with the help of a person called Plote D. Vice. And so, the match was ready to begin.
-"Wait, what the hell?!" Leo yelled out in astonishment upon looking at the opposing duo; Mister Damian and a child!
-"THIS IS MY SON! HIS NAME IS MISTER DAMIAN JR. THE TWO OF US WILL BE COMPETING!" Mister Damian explained.
-"Now it all makes sense! This entire sports fest was just an opportunity for this dude to fuel his ego! I bet he's been doing this to the other matches that were going on at the same time as ours!" Tempest exclaimed.
Unfortunately, the referee was a very angry Pavlidis who had just regained his consciousness a few minutes ago, so there is no way he'd call out this clearly unfair matchup.
-"Ah damn it, I can't believe I've been paired with the dude who left me to die!" Garlic complained.
-"Shut up." Riox whispered.
Garlic was taken aback by Riox's current form. He was standing up perfectly still and looking up, with a completely faded look on his eyes.
Garlic then realized what was going on! Riox needed to commit some crimes, urgently. It was like an addiction, and he was experiencing withdrawal symptoms after a long day of being a lawful citizen. And so, once the Dancesport match began and the Damians started dancing, Garlic told Riox.
-"Hey, asshole. You can just go and commit some crimes now! Nobody's gonna stop you!"
Riox knew very well that he could do that all along, but for some reason, this was the push he needed to sprint right outside the dance court at the speed of sound and illegally participate and dominate in every other ongoing sport going on within a 500 kilometer radius.
That left Garlic, all alone, against two dancers who performed so well that Pavlidis gave them a 10/10 (may or may not be biased against Leo).
Garlic danced like he's never danced before, literally, because he had never once danced before in his life, resulting in an absolutely horrendous showcase that landed him a score of -50.
-"I'm sorry guys, I let you down." Garlic said to the Jock mafia.
-"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! YOUR PLAN WAS GENIUS!" Lasios congratulated him.
Because of the rules of the bet, Riox was deemed to be the useful participant, and that meant that since he lost, the boys ended up losing a point, making it so the Jock Mafia won with a final score of 1-2.
-"Oh… Yeah! That was totally my plan! EAT DIRT YOU LOSERS!" Garlic celebrated.
In reality he planned to win the dancesport match on his own and take all the credit for himself, but this worked too.
-"Now you owe us Piwopiwopiwo!" Lasios told Leo.
Leo then went back to the baseball court, grabbed the nearest bat and began chasing around Lasios, Garlic and Riox all at the same time.