Later that Morning…
Dakota Roth…
Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad! Dad!
That one word has become my mantra this morning. As long as I remember that my dad is a very heavy presence in mine and Jeremy's lives then I can keep the forbidden thoughts from taking over too much.
However, my dream from last night is lingering in my mind and it is making focusing extremely difficult.
Every time I look at Jeremy - it's as if I can still feel his hands ghosting over my flesh, the heat of his mouth against my flesh, the scent of him swirling around me to keep me suspended in the fantasy. I have never felt such utterly consuming sweet torture in my life. I have to find a way to get past these feelings. I have to find a way to guard my heart because he has made it abundantly clear that he doesn't want me. Or at the very least - he won't be acting on whatever it is that we are feeling.
My dad means too much to him. And because it is my dad - I can't even be mad. I have to be mature and understand the true weight of the consequences that would come if we were to give in. Now in theory that all makes sense to me, it is the right thing to do, it is the responsible thing to do but what is making it almost impossible to keep that thought in my mind is the fact that Jeremy, himself, is sending a lot of mixed signals.
Telling me nothing can happen - then he will text me and be all flirty with me.
Acting as if there is nothing between us - then I will catch him checking me out when he thinks no one is looking.
Keeping his distance - then as if he reaches some sort of limit, he will crowd me to the point where I can see the way his hand trembles as if trying to fight his need to touch me.
Offering to set me up with some guys from work - then not following through on that, ok so that one is a little bit of a stretch because he technically only offered that once and it was in the middle of the storm. Still for my confused mind, it makes sense.
How am I meant to push past these feelings when he keeps giving me slivers of hope before snatching them away?
I don't believe that he is doing it to be cruel. I don't think he is playing games intentionally. I just think he is having as hard a time as I am at denying this pull between us. I mean there is a pull, almost as if I am being drawn in against my will and there is nothing, I can do to stop it from happening. I am already in way over my head, and I don't know how I am supposed to get over these feelings. Short of putting distance between us but that is next to impossible given the fact that he is living in the same house as me and we are now working together.
"Dakota?" His voice booms over the speaker of my phone that is connected directly to his.
"Yes, sir?"
"Can you come into my office please?"
"Coming!" Grabbing the iPad that he issued to me this morning for taking notes and other tasks that he expects me to take care of. It was all set up with everything that I would need to do my job effectively.
Walking into his office to find him sat behind his desk looking powerful and at ease, his suit jacket is long gone leaving him in his black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, papers are strewn all over the surface of his desk and his hair is all screwed up as if he has been running his hands through it in frustration. The air is thick with his addictive scent and for a second I fear my knees are going to fail me and buckle from the pure essence of his man that is pulsing through the space.
"I need you to go down to accounting and get the complete file for the Matthews account, talk to Gavin, he will get you everything I need,"
"You got it," I quickly type the notes of what I need to get, "the Matthews account, yes?"
"Yes!" He didn't even look up at me again as I was basically dismissed.
If I were less of a woman, I might feel slighted by this attitude, but I am stronger than that. I am aware that this is a place of work, not a bar where we can socialize and act out our desires.
Actually, it felt almost as if I were being given a reprieve from the onslaught of emotions and feelings that I swear are so tangible between us that you could reach out and touch them. When I accepted this job, it didn't even cross my mind that working with him, by his side all day would be such an issue but here I am one day in, and I feel like I am losing some sort of battle that I didn't even know we were fighting.
I have to find a way to put some distance between us.
I have to find a way to push these feelings down. I can't keep letting the hope bloom inside me because it can't happen. We can't ever give into whatever it is between us. I know this. I know that for the sake of our relationship with my dad - we have to get over this need. This want and desire can't possibly keep burning this brightly, can it?
It has become more and more apparent to me that I have made a huge error in my past. By refusing to date, denying the guys who did ask me out - I have left myself at a huge disadvantage because I honestly, have no fucking clue what I am doing when it comes to my dad's best friend. God, I am a fucking cliché. Falling for my father's oldest friend. There is a whole literature genre out there for this type of thing. Maybe it might be a good idea to read some of it - give myself some sort of advantage because right now, I feel no more useful than a new-born foal who can't find their footing.
Is that even a good analogy?
"Is that all, sir?" I asked once I had typed in what it was, I was going to accounting for.
"For now, yes!" He barked, then as if he realised what he had just done, his eyes rise to me, and the storm of desire in those azure-blue eyes felt like a sucker-punch right to my chest, my breath caught deep in my chest, burning as it fought to claw its way out of me, "thank you, sweetheart!" The way those eyes softened when his eyes met mine was stark contrast to the fire of a few seconds previously.
Now don't get me wrong, I love that he calls me sweetheart - it warms places inside of me that have been cold my whole life, but I am not entirely sure that it is appropriate in the work environment, but this is his business, I am not going to correct him. I just have to remember that I have to remain professional.
"Of course, Mr. Danielson," I nodded and caught the frown that creased his brow for a second before he seemed to reign it in and his eyes lost their warmth once again as I was delegated back to co-worker, and daughter of his best friend. I can't describe the sense of grief that engulfed me at that moment.
I turned on my heel quickly before I made a complete idiot out of myself and retreated from the office.
Distance. That was what we both needed right now.
This was clearly going to be a learning curve for the both of us and the easier we could make that on each other the better it would be for our working relationship. Keep it professional. That is what I keep telling myself as I enter the elevator to take me down to the accounting department of the office building that my dad told me Jeremy owned outright.
As I stepped on the elevator, pressed the button for the correct floor and stood back - my eyes caught Jeremy's who was watching me closely from his spot behind his desk. The look in his eyes was clear as day, even from the distance between him and me - hunger. Desire. Need. Want. It was consuming him just as much as it was consuming me. I could see that now. I hadn't been sure before - a part of me feared that this was all some sort of game to him, but I could see it now - he was as scared as I was at this pull between us.
The doors closed, blocking me from my addiction and the small lurch of the shaft as it descended down the floors to where I needed to go. Standing there alone with my thoughts - I know what I have to do. I know what the best course of action is, and I just hoped that I could bring myself to do it.
By the time the doors pinged open, and I was stepping out into the accounting offices, my resolve was almost complete. "Hey, Dakota, right?" The pretty woman at the front desk of the department greeted me with a pretty smile.
"That's right and you are Amanda, right?"
"Good memory," she praised me. I would say she was maybe in her early 30's and beautiful in a way that made me slightly envious, and a little intimidated.
This was the type of woman that Jeremy should be interested in. This was the type of woman that wouldn't have my dad going into cardiac arrest when introduced to him as his best friend's girlfriend. Shaking my head of the thoughts as I came to a stop at the desk. "With all the names you must have been bombarded with this morning, I'm impressed,"
"Thanks," I laughed. Is it possible that I could make a friend here? "I guess I have always been good with names,"
"What can I help you with?"
"Rem-" shit. I need to get out of this habit of calling him Remy at work, "Mr. Danielson asked me to come down and talk to Gavin about getting a client file-"
"Sure, let me check he isn't in a meeting," she grabbed her phone and pressed the appropriate extension and waited for an answer, "so how is your first day going?"
"Good, I think!" I smiled, resting my iPad on the desk, and looking around the small waiting area out here.
"That's good. Mr. Danielson is a good boss, I have been here almost 2 years and it's the best job I ever had," she continued, her smile remained bright, and I wondered if it hurt to smile that long, did she keep it in place all day? "You should join me for lunch!"
"Oh!"
"There is a little diner around the corner from here that does a mean lasagna, do you enjoy Italian food?"
"Love it," I nodded, would it be a good idea to go to lunch with her?
If I need to create distance between Jeremy and I - this might be the best way to do that. As much as I want to spend time with him, I know that the more I do, the harder I am falling and that can only lead to more and more hurt. Eventually I am going to be entirely consumed by him and the feelings he conjures inside of me.
"I will have to check when my lunch hour is, what is your direct line? I can call down to let you know?"
"Excellent, let me write it down for you," she grabbed a pen and a piece of paper, "Mr. Stone, I have Miss Roth here…yes Mr. Danielson…ok, on the way,"
Once she handed me the paper with her direct line, I filed it into my iPad cover and followed her through the cubicles towards the back of the space where there was a large office and she knocked before the deep rumble of a male voice pierced the wood inviting us in.
Opening the door and my eyes landed on the man I was here to see. Damn, what do they put in the water out here?
Sandy blonde hair that was a shade darker than Jeremy's, field-green eyes sparkled in deep-set sockets, a small button nose sat perfectly on chiselled features, a mouth intended for sin smiled as he turned to greet us - why, all of a sudden do I have a thing for men in suits? This man wore a custom cut suit that sat on his clearly defined body, black created more than just an illusion of a compact body, it also highlighted the muscles in his thick thighs and long bulging arms. A slight dusting of facial hair suited his overall aesthetic.
Now this is a man who could be perfectly safe for me to date, right? Because on my ride down to this level I had become aware of only one way to get past what I was feeling for my dad's best friend.
Date someone else!
Jeremy Danielson…
From the moment Dakota stepped into the kitchen this morning I have been in what feels like a suspended sense of arousal. I am of the strong belief that she did this on purpose - attempting to entice me into giving into the attraction between us.
A figure-hugging pencil skirt that hugged her hips as if she had literally sprayed it on, the zipper drawing my eyes to the round perfect shape of her ass, the curve of her beautiful thighs and legs highlighted to just below her knees which drew the eye to her perfectly defined calves as she stood higher with the spiked-heel of her shoes. A black button-down shirt was tucked tightly into the waist and a thick red belt cut into her tiny little waist. Everything about her outfit screamed sex and temptation.
A cruel temptation.
But a temptation, nonetheless. A temptation that I have to fight. I have to remember that Jason is my best friend, and a lifelong friendship is not something I am willing to throw away for a physical attraction. That is all this is - an attraction to a beautiful woman. A woman young enough to be my own daughter and that is just another deterrent for pursuing her.
Keeping her as a fantasy is the safest option for all of us. A private fantasy that I have to admit has me cuming harder than I ever have before, but it has to remain a fantasy.
Sitting in the car with her on the way to the office had been a lesson in self damn restraint. The way the skirt slid up her thighs, flashing smooth tattooed flesh - she was like a walking rendition of a pin-up girl. And my cock throbbed even harder than it had been since I woke up with it in my hand this morning just seconds before I erupted.
There is nothing more devastating than waking up to find that you were experiencing nothing more than a dream. That you weren't actually holding the woman of your dreams in your arms. That you weren't really kissing her. Touching her. Tasting her. Fucking her. Jesus - what the fuck has she turned me into? I can't remember a time where I have felt this strongly about someone.
I keep trying to tell myself that it is merely physical - that what I am feeling is nothing more than a deep appreciation for her beauty, but I know that deep down it is so much more than that. I am trying not to go there in my head though because the minute I fully address the fact that it is just her, everything about her, I am going to make a mistake. I am going to claim her. And claiming her is not something that I can let happen.
"Here you go, sir," suddenly she was in front of me, and I was blinking rapidly, trying to erase the direction in which my thoughts were firing.
"Thank you," why did she have to call me sir? I have never been into that type of thing before but the delicious way my cock throbs every time the word passes through her full round lips is hard to ignore.
"Uhm-"
"What is it?"
"I was wondering, when is my lunch hour going to be?" She stood before me in all tempting glory, and I was fighting my urges to claim once again.
"I was thinking 12.30-1.30, does that work for you?"
"It does, thank you," she nodded, starting to turn away to head back to her desk.
"Do you have plans?" I find myself asking her.
"I actually do. I'm going to a little Italian place just down the street," she smiled as the blush crept along her neck, staining her entire face a beautiful scarlet colour.
"A date?" My jaw clenched so hard I fear that my teeth are going to be ground to dust.
"Not today, Amanda down in accounting is taking me to lunch,"
"Today?"
"Gavin asked me to have lunch too, but I had already agreed to go with Amanda today, so he asked me to join him tomorrow," she replied, her tone small and almost timid but it was clear that she was somewhat excited.
Gavin, however, was older than me - 40 years old to be exact and he was asking this beautiful, stunning 20-year-old to have lunch with him. A part of me is envious and then another part of me is disgusted. With that twenty-year age gap, the fifteen between us suddenly didn't feel so damn bad.
Don't get me wrong, Gavin is a good guy. Always one of the first here in the morning and one of the last to leave at night and his work was always precise and on point. I would even class him as a friend. But there is a part of me that is driving the jealousy bus down envious lane towards possessive avenue.
Dakota was mine.
Dakota was meant to be with me.
I would sell my soul to have her in my bed and in my life as mine. But it was futile - Jason would never allow it, never accept it. I have to find a way to get to grips with that.
"That's good that you are making friends," I heard myself talking and could barely believe that I was letting it slide. That I was basically wishing her luck for her date tomorrow. All while my brain was trying to come up with ways to kill that damn date.
Maybe I could have our lawyers draw up a new company policy. No fraternising between colleagues.
Was it devious? Yes.
Was it stupid? Absolutely.
Was it necessary? For my sanity, yes it truly felt like it was.
If I let her go on this date - I just know that something will happen. Gavin is just that good. I have seen him in action - the guy is like a pussy-magnet. Women are just drawn to him and now it seems, with the dreamy look on Dakota's face, she had been drawn into his web.
"Thanks Uncle-" she began and then seemed to shudder as her eyes glazed over somewhat, "thank you, Mr. Danielson!"
Now what the Hell was that?
It had been a mere second of a flush as her mind took her somewhere else and a light stain of red blushed her cheeks before she seemed to shut it down and plastered that beautiful bright smile on her face. The smile that could have me on my knees worshipping at her feet in a heartbeat.
God I am in trouble.
"You don't have to be so formal, sweetheart," I told her, watching the almost indecipherable quickening of her breath, the way she tried to clench her thighs together without being obvious and the down-casting of her eyes - fuck me - that submissive show had my cock punching against my zipper on my suit trousers, "we are -"
What are we?
Family feels wrong. Friends- doesn't feel like enough.
I have never had so much trouble categorising a woman in my life before. This was Dakota though and she deserved a title in my life but, as, what?
Goddess?
My love?
My heart?
My soul?
Shaking my head free of the ridiculous thoughts. No good can come from that path of thinking. We are simply never going to happen - and the sooner that I accept that, the easier it will be on everyone involved. So, while it felt like it was going against every fibre of my being, I smiled at her and said, "you know Gavin is a good guy,"
"I agree. I mean I got a good vibe from him, and I am usually pretty good at reading people," there was something in that statement that felt like it was directed at me.
I had to accept that - ever since we kissed and touched one another, I have been sending her mixed signals. I know that I have. I know I am confusing her. I am confusing myself, but I can't seem to stop. I want a piece of her for myself. A piece that feels like she is all mine and if I have to be underhanded to get that, then I will do it. I will do anything to feed my addiction. Because let me be clear - she has quickly become more than an addiction.
"Anyway, I am off to call Amanda to let her know when I have my lunch," she carried on, "unless there is anything else you need, sir?"
"No thank you," I replied, feeling my stomach churn with dread.
What would happen if she and Gavin really did hit it off?
What if they become a couple?
Am I going to be tortured every time I see them together?
Does my future consist of cold showers and longing for a woman who makes me feel more alive than any woman ever has before?
I let my eyes trail down the curve of her spine as she walked back to her desk. The seductive sway of her hips as she moved. The sexy clench of her calves in the impossible heels she was wearing. The round plump cushion of her ass.
Torture.
Sweet, cock teasing torture.
Get a fucking grip! I scolded myself. It isn't going to happen. It can't happen. My friendship with Jason is more important. As much as that statement suddenly feels like a lie - a lie that I am simply not ready to address just yet. For now, I will find a way to deal with this. I will find a way to smother these feelings for my best friend's daughter.
My misery for Jason's comfort. A fair trade, right?