The Next Morning…
Charleigh Smith…
The fact that I am working in close quarters with Jason every day is going to drive me crazy. I don't know why it never crossed my mind that this would be an issue. I guess I just heard; job and my mind latched on. The fact that I would get to see Jason every day was also a deciding factor in my response.
Working in a garage has been something that I have grown up around. Working with my dad - there was very little time spent in the office part of the business, hence my decision to get my qualifications in admin so that I could help my dad keep the business a fully functional family business. It was important because my dad inherited the business from his father who inherited it from his father and being I am an only child I know dad plans to pass the business down to me and that meant something to me. It was everything to me.
Anyway, it was because of that I didn't even think about Jason being in my space all the time. I assumed that the fact he was looking for an admin assistant - meant he wasn't doing so well with that side of the business, but he seems to be a very hands-on boss and likes to know his business inside and out. Yesterday, I had hoped was just first day support as he lingered, watching me, and asking appropriate questions and it's not like I can't understand that - it's almost as if after the conversation we had about my future in the states, he wants to understand my system because we know we are on borrowed time. Now as I said I understood that but that meant that he was constantly in my space and while normally that isn't an issue for me, I am acutely aware of this man and the fact that he is my best friend's dad.
Dakota has given me her blessing and for that I will be forever grateful. I mean think about all my best friend has been through and you would think that she'd want to be selfish for a little bit and keep him to herself. I mean no one would blame her if she wanted to just bask in the love and support that he clearly has for her but if my best friend is anything - it is stubbornly independent. And I think she is a little scared to let him get too close. Terrified of being let down by yet another parent.
Now, call me biased if you want, call me naïve if that is what you think I am, but I have a good feeling about Jason. There is something earnestly honest and uncomplicated about him, some might say he wears his heart on his sleeve and while that may be true it doesn't take away from the adoration that flickers in his eyes when he looks or talks about his little girl.
Could he ever look at me like that?
I mean, there are moments, little ripples in time when I am sure that I can see and feel his attraction to me, but it is almost as if he catches himself and shuts it down before it can fully blossom. I don't know whether to be impressed by his self-restraint or frustrated by it because I can't lie - there is a huge part of me that wants him to grab me and bend me over this damn desk. Spank me almost raw before slamming his cock into me.
I have dated a fair bit, I mean I am no slut, FYI - no slut shaming here, just pointing out a fact, anyway I have dated a respectable number of men and honestly, I have never had the type of reaction to a man that I have had to Jason. It's like he has burrowed his way into my head, and he is all I can even think about. When I am awake, I am constantly aware of his proximity to me and when I am asleep, he haunts every corner of my dreams - this larger-than-life presence that demands all of my attention. I have never had so many wet dreams in my life, I swear the first night I woke up thinking I had wet the bed I was so turned on. It's embarrassing because I feel so completely out of my depth and out of control that I am nearing a point where I am going to demand that he put out this fire he has stoked so well that it feels like my blood has turned to molten lava.
"Do you want to go to Joe's for lunch today?" He asks me as he leans over my shoulder watching as I clean up the desktop computer into more manageable folders and documents.
Jesus Christ. What the fuck have I done that I am being punished like this?
That earthy, woodsy scent of him is so fresh and clean that I am sure I am drooling - so much that I wipe my hand across my lips just to make sure.
"Sounds good," I nod trying to keep my wits about me.
Does he know what he is doing to me?
Does he feel the same way?
What would I do if he made a move on me right now?
Would I have the strength to turn him down? Ha! Yeah, good one Char' - I smile to myself. Like I would ever turn him down. I am so lost in him that I would take whatever he is offering and probably thank him for it.
Would I feel guilty afterwards though? I know it is stupid because like I said Dakota has been more than generous in her reaction to my little crush, but I just don't know how much it would affect me to give in and then have to face her afterwards.
Would she be able to tell?
Would she really be ok with it?
"You know you have already made a huge difference, in here," he rips me from my musings, and I tumble back into my consciousness with a deep heat flushing my face.
"Oh, it's nothing-"
"Don't sell yourself short, darlin', you saw the mess I had allowed to accumulate, and you have already gotten almost all of it under some semblance of order, that is truly impressive,"
"Well thank you,"
"I should be the one thanking you," the slight brush of his fingers against my back as he pulled back set my entire body on fire.
Fuck. Me. I never expected such chemistry from one little touch and as my head snaps up towards him, I can see that he is almost as strongly affected as I am at that moment. The zapping neurons inside my body have to be matched to his. I can almost feel it, the way he is trying to make sense of this attraction.
Here is the problem - I am not at all sure that there is a way to make sense of it. Attraction is such a weird thing - when it hits like this, when it courses through the blood like a surge of power following a highway straight to the heart, the inevitable crash is predictable and a part of me wonders if he is thinking about it right now.
Thinking about kissing me, touching me, fisting my long hair around his knuckles, and tugging as he forces me to my knees in front of him to worship. My mind slides off into a tangent of him feeding his hard length between the lips on my face, thrusting all the way to the back of my throat until my eyes are watering and he is groaning his desire to feel me sucking. Would he taste like sin?
All salty-sweet and manly?
The look in his eyes as I swallowed him even deeper would be full of wonderment and then a blatant hunger as I swirled my tongue around the underside of his long thick shaft until he was groaning and thrusting his hips against my face lost to the chase for release.
Fuck. I am sitting here in the figure-hugging skirt that Dakota loaned me, and I can't remember a time when I have been this fucking wet. Or turned on. My mind never does this – usually when I want someone; I make it happen, or at least I go after what I want because of course I have had turn-downs, that is simply part of life, but I really don't think that I am so far off the mark to think that Jason wants me as much as I want him.
Jason Adler…
When I offered Charleigh the job to work with me - I didn't think it through. I didn't put any thought into just how much she would be around. How much she would be commanding my space and attention. The way she was seeping into every single area of my world. The way her scent now lingered not just in my home but in my truck and here at work - there was no reprieve from her. I was being consumed and the worst part - I'm willing to sacrifice my sanity for it. All of it. And more.
I want her.
I need her.
There is this thread of desperation that is coiling through my veins, making it almost impossible to ignore. Everywhere I turn she is there. Looking so sweet and innocent, although I sense there is absolutely nothing that is innocent about her. And I don't mean that in a bad way. I just have the feeling that this girl knows exactly what she wants and likes - and she is unwilling to apologize for it. I like it. A lot. Way more than I should, given, that she is my daughter's best friend and almost young enough to be my own daughter.
I know that fact should deter me from the consuming feelings that I am having for her but it's as if my mind is unwilling to accept that, or should I say my body is unwilling to accept it because it reacts to her on the most basic of levels. My cock has never been as hard as it is when I am around Charleigh. And no matter how uncomfortable it is - I can't seem to find the will to stop. I am such a sadist because God help me - I like the way she makes me feel.
Out of control - yet utterly focused.
Hungry and desperate - yet completely at peace with just her mere presence.
Dominant - yet completely submissive for her.
This is really not good. I should be ashamed of myself. I should go out with Jeremy and find a woman to take home and pound all of these frustrations out on, but I have this sneaking suspicion that there is no other woman on the planet who could make me rise to the occasion so to speak. I have never felt this strongly for someone before - is it because I know it's taboo?
Forbidden?
I mean, I guess it isn't all that uncommon for older men to date younger women. So how forbidden is it really?
"So, what are you and 'Kota up to this weekend?" I ask her as I drop down to the tattered old sofa, I had placed in the office for those nights I spent bent over all the paperwork that Charleigh is making short work of.
"I don't know," she graced me with one of those smiles of hers that has all the power in the world over me - making me want to drop to my knees in front of her and worship her like the Goddess she is, "we were talking about maybe going out for a drink, but nothing is concrete yet,"
"That sounds like a good idea. It will do you both some good to get out there and not remain couped up with two old men," I chuckle, running my hand over the light scattering of facial hair I have allowed to grow.
"You're not that old," she smiled at me before dropping her eyes to the papers in front of her, "my dad is old. You are just a little older,"
"You're being too kind!" I laugh, "but maybe you could take 'Kota out shopping for some new clothes Saturday?"
"Shopping?" Once again, her eyes came up to meet mine, "you really don't know 'Kota that we'll yet, do you?"
"What do you mean?"
"That girl hates shopping; I mean I think it came from not having much money growing up and what they did have was squandered away by Anna whenever she was manic. Dakota learnt quickly that she had to make do with what she had, and she made the most of it, don't get me wrong your daughter is thrifty that much is obvious,"
My anger for my ex seems to know no bounds whatsoever. What I can't wrap my mind around is the fact that she took our daughter away to where she could keep her out of my reach, and she forced her to live a life where they struggled when I had provided for them both in a way that would never have resulted in my daughter having to scrimp and save.
"Well, I want you to take her shopping and ensure that she knows, money is no object," my response is a little more feral than I intended.
"I can do that,"
"And of course, that means for you too,"
"Oh no, I couldn't -"
"You can. You have no idea just how grateful I am to you for being there for her. Knowing that she wasn't completely alone-"
"Jay. I would do anything for Dakota, she is my person. We share everything with one another and that means that you don't have to thank me or pay me for being her friend. Not now and not ever,"
They share everything? I don't know why that thought hadn't occurred to me before now. I have to be more careful because I don't want this woman telling my daughter that I am acting like some sort of creeper.
Not that I think she would because there is a part of me that is convinced that she is as attracted to me as I am to her. It's in the little way her throat bobs when I am a little too close to her, the flash of desire in her eyes when I touch her.
"I need to do something to thank you," I almost feel like I am begging.
"Just don't let her down and that will be payment enough for me," she insists.
"I can do that no problem," I nodded, "was it really that bad?"
"I am not comfortable sharing all of her secrets, but I have to admit that it can only benefit your relationship with her if you have all of the facts - when she was fourteen; she started working a part time job, just to try and make ends meet. Going to school during the day and then working after school and weekends was her daily life. I mean I only met her when we started college together a couple of years back but it took her a good year before she trusted me enough to invite me to her house," Charleigh explained, discarding the work for the moment, pressing her elbows into the desk and clasping her hands, her grip tight as if she is right back in that moment she is talking about, "she told me that I was the first and only friend that she had ever trusted enough to take home. The first time I met Anna she was lying on the sofa with a bottle of vodka in front of her and demanding her daughter give her the cigarettes she demanded she pick up while at school. Not exactly the best first impression and I just knew that what I was witnessing was just the tip of the iceberg,"
"Meaning?" I asked, feeling my entire body tensing and my jaw felt like I was about to grind my molars to dust as anger coursed through me with all the ferocity of a hit of adrenaline.
"Once she gave her mom the cigarettes, she led me into the kitchen where Anna had clearly made herself some food for lunch and just left everything lying around after her and that was when she barked at 'Kota to get the house tidied up, do the dishes, put away the food she had left lying out, put on a load of washing, hoover, clean the bathroom. Everything was down to Dakota to take care of-"
"Fucking Christ!"
"Yeah. My own reaction was pretty much the same as yours. But I bit my tongue, pulled on a pair of rubber gloves and doubled down to help her," this woman had been more than a friend to my daughter, she had been a Goddam life-line and that was a debt that I could never repay, "'Kota explained that, that was her life - day in and day out, but still she managed to find a way to study and still remain in the top ten percent of her classes, she worked two part time jobs, she took care of her home, paying the bills and trying to make the money stretch as far as humanly possible, studied and pushed herself to get the best marks she possibly could when she could have just given in and given up, your daughter is a fighter Jay, and that is what you should be focused on right now,"
"Yeah, I know but it is kind of hard when I think about what she was subjected to," I admit honestly.
"I get that, believe me, but she is out of it now. She is here and I know that she has no plans to ever go back,"
"Thank God for that," I sighed.
Anna is damn fucking lucky that she isn't in front of me right now because I fear that I wouldn't be able to stop myself.
Dakota was supposed to be safe with her. My daughter was supposed to be her priority and the fact that she wasn't, has filled me with a sense of shame. I should have fought harder. I should have followed them back to Scotland and demanded that Dakota come home with me. I should have known that things weren't right.
However, she was here now and there was no damn way that I was going to allow her to go back to what she had been subjected to by her mother. No way in Hell. And as I let my gaze fall back on Charleigh - I know that I have to find a way to get her to stay too because I really don't think that I could go back to my life without her.