Dakota Roth…
'Stop acting like a petulant little brat, Dakota. Get your ass home and accept your punishment like a good little girl. Don't make me come and get you!'
The latest text from Stuart left me feeling more uneasy than I could have ever predicted. My new and safe life felt like it was on borrowed time. And I didn't quite know what to do about that. My tummy was rolling with a constant barrage of nausea and my headache was throbbing in a violent wave right behind my left eye. My entire body was tenser than a whore in Church. I knew that Uncle Remy caught the change in my posture. I knew that he wanted to know what was going on. It was evident that he wanted to know when he asked me what was wrong.
How am I meant to tell him?
How am I meant to tell anyone?
I guess there was a part of me that was scared that my dad would hand me back over to my mom and Stuart. That somehow, I am some sort of disappointment to him, and he will want rid of me.
I don't think that I would survive if I was forced to go back. I had already felt a sense of freedom and acceptance here that I had to hope, if Stuart and my mom could somehow find the funds to come here, that my dad would put his foot down. I hoped that I meant something to my dad - something that was strong enough to not send me away.
Should I give him a heads up on the off chance that my mom and her boyfriend did turn up here?
But how can I explain it all to him? I am so disgusted by those texts and ashamed that it is even happening to me that I fear he might not even believe me. Just like I knew that my mother would accuse me of deleting my responses to her boyfriend, was it possible that my dad could also think that way? I don't want to think that he would but let's face it, I haven't exactly had much luck with parents thus far.
Finally, the heat from the hot-tub began to rise in welcome plumes of steam. Dropping my towel on one of the lawn chairs that were situated around the four-seater hot-tub and eased my foot into the water. Happy with the temperature, I reached over and turned on the bubbles before sinking my entire body into the water. The heat and the pressure of the bubbles felt amazing against my sore muscles, and I plonked myself on one of the little seat type ledges that were spaced out around the space.
Resting my head against the edge and stared up into the sky which looked like it was getting ready to dump more snow on us. The air outside of the tub was crisp and fresh and finally I felt the pressure behind my eye begin to ease and I sighed in relief. It felt like this headache had been there for weeks at this point, I knew it had only been a couple of days, but I think that if I am being honest, it has been building since the moment that my mom kicked me out of the house.
The slight whine of the French doors opening alerted me to Uncle Remy appearing on the porch. A part of me doesn't want to look at him because I know that if I do - I am going to be left with a wave of lust that I wouldn't be able to relieve or hide.
Yeah, right! Like that is going to stop me.
Bringing my head back into its normal position and opening my eyes.
Jesus Christ.
Why isn't it a sin to look that good?
Even in his mind thirties - this man was ripped, like ridiculously ripped. A visible 6-pack gave a ladder-like effect on his taut smooth abs. A light scattering of hair adorned his chest, the way it shimmered when the light hit it just right was tantalising in a way that I have never felt before. The true width of his chest was impressive, and those thick arms rippled with pure muscle - the veins and tendons on display as some sort of enticing vision that had my mouth salivate before I even knew what was happening to me. Even the sight of his nipples hardening in the cold air had a direct effect on my clit that has begun to throb with need for relief. A slim waist that was still chalked with muscle led to the sexiest Adonis belt that I had ever seen. The long board-shorts clung to his hips with just enough traction that I could imagine sliding my hands under the material to pull them down. Long legs were mostly hidden under the length of the garment but again, what I could see was ridiculously toned and bulging with muscle.
I am not going to lie, until I met Uncle Remy again, I feared that there might be something wrong with me. My lack of real interest in men was so strong that I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I just wasn't attracted to men. Or women. No one seemed to have an effect on me the way I imagined, not until my eyes landed on Uncle Remy. However, regardless of my attraction to him, I feel so inexperienced that I am always slightly embarrassed around him.
Embarrassed because this is all new. Shame because I know he doesn't feel the same. Don't get me wrong - I know that he is attracted to the way I look, he has said as much but I am not experienced enough to be able to separate my physical attraction from my emotional attraction. I want it all with him.
I want him to want it all with me too. But I have heard him loud and clear, it is purely physical, and I might be stupid for this, but I can't just give into it because my stupid heart isn't strong enough to survive the inevitable pain that would come when he had his fill of me. A little pain now is acceptable and manageable - I would get over this. I had to get over it. For my dad's sake because Jeremy is his best friend, and I will not come in between them over something as fleeting as a physical attraction.
"How's the water?" Uncle Remy asked, closing the door behind him.
"Glorious!" I moaned slightly, feeling all my worries melting away with the heat.
"Good," dropping his own towel on top of mine and stepping up to take his spot in the water with me.
My eyes couldn't help but over-indulge in the specimen in front of me. I couldn't help but appreciate the way his body moved - motions that screamed confidence and a sense of just being his own man. I felt the clench in my core - my body revved up, as if getting ready to accept him inside me. Fuck me - I need to get a Goddamn grip of myself. I am not letting it happen. I won't let it happen because there really is just too much at stake for something that would be over in five minutes.
Yet, as I watched him lower himself into the water - I, somehow, just knew that it would be far longer than five minutes. This man looked like he was made up solely of stamina.
Once he was seated on the opposite side of the tub to me, we slipped into a silence that stretched the tension between us. I could see it in his eyes - he was struggling with this physical attraction as much as I was. The way his eyes travelled along my body and dropped lower as he allowed himself the pleasure of searching me out under the water. For as intense as his look was - it might as well have been a physical stroke because I could almost feel it gliding over my flesh. Lighting me up in ways that no man has ever managed to do.
I don't know how long the both of us just sat there, running our eyes all over each other while our minds took us to a place where we were free to explore what this thing was between us.
Visions bombarded my mind - of our bodies entwined as we explored with our hands, touching and stroking, our mouths following the same path that our hands did. The sense of being owned by this man was an aphrodisiac all on its own. The way he would take charge and show me things that I couldn't even begin to imagine was taking shape in my mind and torturing me to the point where I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to resist if he tried to take this further.
Would he push it?
Would he want more than this?
"So-" his voice pierced through the trouble path my thoughts were taking me.
"So?"
"You want to tell me what's going on with you?" He asked, reaching for the cigarettes that were lying at the side of the tub and offering me one, which I happily accepted.
"I don't know what-"
"Bullshit!" He charged as he handed me the lighter once he had lit his own cigarette, "look, I know that things between us are a little messed up right now, but that doesn't mean that I am not here for you, it doesn't mean that I am not going to support you with whatever it is, you just have to trust me!"
And that was the problem - I am not entirely sure that I do trust him.
After what he has done - the constant back and forth with what he wants - it would be foolish of me to put my trust in him, wouldn't it?
Yes, it would. I know that because above all else he is my father's best friend which means that he is more loyal to him than me and if I tell him what is happening, I have absolutely no doubt that he would tell my dad and then my dad would just storm right in and end up getting himself in trouble. I can't allow that to happen.
I won't allow that to happen.
Right now, I had to just accept that there was nothing that I could do to change things. I was alone in this and as sad as it was - that was nothing new to me.
Jeremy Danielson…
Joining Dakota in the hot-tub might have been both my best and worst idea.
The best because I had caught the way she reacted to me - she was still attracted to me. The hunger and desire swirled in those beautiful, baby-blue eyes as her breath grew slightly laboured and shallow. Of course, she had tried to hide it. Tried to shut the emotion down before I could catch it but if I have learnt one thing about my girl - she had eyes that would betray her true emotions every time. They were just so expressive and right now they were alight with arousal.
The worst being that I couldn't hide my reaction to her. I was more than sure that she could see the half-mast bulge in my shorts. No matter how desperately I tried to shift around in my clothes to try and hide the effects of seeing her sitting there in the water. My eyes betrayed me in less than a second of me settling on one of the built-in seats around the confines of the tub. Drinking in the way her bikini-top barely held in those glorious fucking tits - the small triangles of material basically covered her nipples and not much else. The swell of each breast was an enticing tease that had my cock inflate a little more at the sight of them. The truly sinuous cut of her curves, a true hour-glass figure lay somewhat distorted under the water but still vivid enough that I got a glimpse of the true definition of her body, a slim waist that led out into child-bearing hips that held the ties of the bikini-bottoms securely in place. Thick thighs that I just knew would feel amazing wrapped around my body.
It was apparent that she had way more tattoos than I had noticed before, my favourite was the chandelier and lace one just under her beautiful tits. The black and red colour against her milky-white flesh was so vivid that it just drew the eye straight to it. The infinity symbol I had caught sight of in the kitchen was a little bigger than I imagined with what looked to be Chinese lettering underneath it, "what does that say?" I asked her before she could reply to my previous question.
"What?"
"Under the infinity tattoo, what does it say?" I asked.
Was it another man's name?
Had there been someone special at home for her? I know that she said that she wasn't overly experienced when it came to sex, was that why? Had she been in a long, term relationship?
"It says friendship!" She told me, looking down at it before looking back up at me, "Charleigh and I got it at the same time, she has hers under her left boob," she explained, "we wanted something to celebrate our friendship that would always be there to remind us that we always had each other," it was obvious that she felt relaxed with the flow of conversation - the contrast in her posture was as vast as the ocean, her shoulders slumped, her eyes stopped darting around the space and she focused on one spot, her head rested against the side of the tub and she was breathing with a lot more ease.
So maybe this was the way to get her to talk - pull her into a sense of calm and then nudge her in the direction that I wanted to take her.
"You and Charleigh are close?"
"She's the best friend I ever had," she nodded, "growing up with Anna wasn't so much of a picnic as a fucking massacre. Friends weren't a luxury that I could afford, so I just sort of kept to myself-"
"I'm sorry, sweetheart, that should never have happened!"
"It is what it is, Uncle Remy!" It was obvious that she felt some sort of comfort in keeping things between us formal like this, as if reminding herself that I had been more of an Uncle, than just a family friend, was somehow keeping this attraction between us at bay, "if I didn't go through what I did, I wouldn't be here now, I wouldn't be the person I am and honestly, for the most part I am content with who I am,"
"That is a remarkably mature attitude to have given the circumstances,"
"Maybe," her tone turned distant, and I fought to think of something to say - I needed this connection to her to continue, I needed it to strengthen because if she could see how compatible we were, maybe she'd be able to forgive me.
"I hear you and Charleigh are going to go out Saturday night?"
"Yeah," she nodded flicking her cigarette ash into the light breeze, "apparently we are going shopping in the afternoon,"
"You don't sound thrilled by that prospect,"
"I'm not much for shopping. But I guess if I am staying then I need to get some clothes because the two suitcases I have simply isn't going to be enough,"
"You plan to stay?" My heart galloped like a fucking race-horse taking off from the starters box.
"I mean, if it is ok with dad I would love to stay,"
"What do you mean if it's ok with your dad?"
"I just-"
"What?" I took the chance and moved across the water until I was seated right next to her and there was no way that I could miss the sharp inhale she gathered into her system, "talk to me, please!?"
"It's nothing-" she was shutting down, damn it. I don't want her to close herself off from me.
The thought of how close we had just come to having a proper conversation was a tease unlike anything that I have ever felt before. I ached to be close to her, not just on a physical level. I wanted it all. I wanted all of her. I couldn't accept anything less, could I?
"What about you? Got any plans for the weekend?" Her tone was flat, her passion gone as quickly as it had appeared, and she was obviously putting distance between us.
What was it going to take to get her to open up to me?
What do I have to do to make her see just how sorry I am about the other day?
"'Kota?"
"Mmmmm?"
"In the interest of clearing the air between us - I wanted to say I am sorry about the other day," why the fuck I hadn't already said sorry was beyond me right now, but I had to say it because just maybe that was what she was waiting for.
"Don't worry about it, it's already forgotten!" She forced another fake smile to her lips, and it tore my heart right down the middle.
"But is it forgiven?"
"Sure," she nodded but her intent was clear - she may have forgiven me, but it wasn't going to be so easy to let things go back to where they had been.
I had well and truly fucked things up and I didn't quite know where to go from here. I didn't know if she would be open to us trying out what we talked about. I don't know if she would be open to even dating me because ultimately that is what I was craving. I wanted it all with her.
Sitting so close to her now, the sweet scent of her shampoo over-rode the other scents around me - that coconut and lychee scent was what haunted my dreams. I longed to run my fingers through it and bring it to my nose to overdose on the scent until it would follow me where I decided to go.
Images of us entwined together - my lips pressed against her own and moving in a slow, agonising rhythm, the soft subtle brush of her tongue along the length of my own. The feel of our hands roaming and memorizing the dips and curves of her body while she carved a path of intent along my stomach and down to my shorts. The way I would reach behind her head and tug on those damn straps of her barely-there bikini-top, letting the material fall forward until her incredible chest laid bare before me - ready to be teased - touched, licked, sucked, twisted, lavished by my tongue and fingers. The heat from her body propelling, my hands to slide down the sides of her body and tugging at the ties that sat against each sinfully defined hips, once again letting the material drift away on the water as she would become completely naked in front of me.
My cock was now so hard it was fucking painful. I seemed to be intent on torturing myself because I couldn't stop thinking about pushing my body into hers and taking us both straight to Heavenly bliss.
"So, what you gonna do this weekend?" She asked, seemingly unaware of the filthy thoughts rushing through my brain.
"Well, there are a couple of basketball games that your dad and I will probably watch,"
At least she was talking to me and that was definitely preferable to the silent treatment that she had been giving me since I had frozen her out a couple of days ago and I am grateful for that, but we were nowhere near where we had been before that stupid dream. But it was a start, and I would take whatever she deemed acceptable now.
That being said, I would find a way to get us both what we clearly needed because the heat in her eyes when I walked out of the house a few moments ago gave me the hope that I needed to believe that not all was lost between us.