"Ready na kayo pumasok?" tanong ni mommy.

"Medyo kinakabahan pero kakayanin," sagot naman ni Ellenie habang pilit ang ngiti.

We're still in our house and waiting for our service which will be Lolo Ryan, the brother of the mother of our mother, which is basically the brother of our grandmother. Maya-maya pa ay narinig ko na ang busina sa labas sa tapat ng bahay. Sumilip doon si mommy bago kami tinawag.

"Oh, nandito na sila Lolo Ryan niyo," pagpapaalala ni mommy sa amin.

Humalik muna kami sa pisngi niya bago kumaway habang paalis na ng bahay, naglalakad. Sumakay na kami ng sasakyan at binati sina Lolo Ryan at Kuya Ranran sa loob. His full name is Raniel Zywshiah Guinto. He's our cousin. His seating on the shotgun seat which we were never allowed to seat if we are still not 16. That's the rule from them.

"Good morning po," I greeted. Elle sat beside me while her other hand closed the door.

"Good morning!" masiglang bati ni Kuya Ranran. 

"Oh, wala na kayong nakalimutan, kambal?" Lolo Ryan asked.

"Wala na po. Tsaka, first day pa lang naman." He nodded before bringing down the window of the driver's door. "Oh, Lannie, una na kami," pamamaalam niya kay mommy namin at narinig kong um-'oo, tito' na lang si mommy sa kanya. 

Pagkatapus 'nun ay bumyahe na kami. Walang kumibo sa sasakyan at tanging ang patugtog lang galing sa playlist ang rinig sa paligid. Tulala ako at walang ganang tumingin sa bintana ng sasakyan. I look at the trees and vehicles that we would passed. I started wondering and thinking what I should do when we got there.

Ayokong kumibo sa mga magiging kaklase namin. I don't feel like talking to them. We're changing schools again. New classmates again and a new environment again. A new interaction again. I sighed while we are getting near the school.

"Kinakabahan ba kayong tatlo?" biglang tanong ni Lolo Ryan habang nagmamaneho pa rin.

"Sakto lang po," sagot ko habang nakadungaw pa rin sa bintana.

After that, we didn't talk until we reached the school. Nakarating na kami sa school. It's like our elementary school, but bigger. I sighed. Sa tuwing maaalala ko ang elementary days namin ni Elle, I'll hurt myself. I'll just remember the day that Harold left.

Nakababa na kami ng sasakyan. In front of us is the Senior High School Building and a little bit on the left is the building of Junior High School Students. Dumiretso kami roon at pumasok sa isang room. Nakita na namin 'yun at nakapaglibot-libot na rin sa buong campus bago kami makarating dito for our first day of school. When you enter it, on your left is the door to the Principal's Office. On the right is the Criminology Training Room. Parehas kami ng building ng mga criminology students pero tinatawag lang nilang JHS Building 'yun para mas madaling malaman ng JHS Students na iyun ang building na dapat nilang puntahan kung sila ay bago pa lang o gustong maglibot-libot kung gusto nilang lumipat rito. 

Natapos ang orientation habang naghahalo ang pakiramdam kong kaba at sakit.  Walang saya dahil wala akong pakialam kung sino man ang magiging kaklase namin. Hindi ko rin naman sila kakausapin. At sakit dahil sa isang taong iniwan ako nung March. Nakakarindi. They just discussed about the rooms, the faculties, the holders, the administration and the owner of the school.

Sinukatan na rin kami para sa uniform kasi wala pa naman kaming uniform. That's why we are just wearing casual clothes. I am just wearing a red shirt and maong pants, while Elle is wearing a green shirt and maong pants. Our shirt has the same design so we are matching. It's obvious that we are twins. 

Pumasok kami sa room namin nang malapit na mag-lunch. Bago ka makapasok roon ay may makikita kang card board sign sa taas ng pintuan, says 'Grade 8 - Hydrogen'. I went ahead on the spot near the window and 2nd from the last. The room went silent for a moment ng makaupo ako. My desk and chair are light brown in color and wood. It's like a Japanese desk and chair. It's unique from the schools we've been from. 

My gaze shifted to the desk and chair beside me. Walang nakaupo roon. Baka late lang and so, I thought. Nag-ingay na ulit ang room nung kinuha ko ang pocket notebook ko at ballpen. I opened it to do my thing. Writing name codes using the codes I have in my notebook. Nakapalumbaba lang akong naboboryo habang ginagawa ko 'yun. I'm just bored with the people around me.

No one dares to talk to us, not even the boy in front of me. I just pursed my lips and played with my pen until the screen door opened near the blackboard in front. My peace was stopped.

"Good morning everyone,"pagbati ng teacher when she successfully entered the classroom. "I'm going to be your adviser. I'm Ms. Liza Roque," pagtutuloy niya while she wrote her name on the blackboard. "Pwede na po muna kayo kumain ng inyong mga lunch. After 20 minutes, bumalik na kayo dito para sa ating introduction, mga anak." She closed the remarks at dali-daling nagsilabasan ang iba naming kaklase na para bang kulang ang food supply ng school namin sa cafeteria.

I took a glance at our adviser in front while she was fixing her things to get them from the teacher's desk while I am spinning my pen in between my left index and middle finger. She's wearing a darker satin blue pencil skirt paired with a white sleeved ruffled blouse and a pair of black heels. She has an innocent face and an honest aura. After I inspected her look, she disappeared from my sight at parang may gagawin pang iba sa faculty office.

I sighed out of boredom again. My attention's not really getting friendly around its surroundings or people. Instead, its perspective was interested in my pocket notebook while I am doing some ironic codes which made no sense. But I still listened to her despite my boredom with listening to people right now.

"Hindi ba kayo kakain sa canteen?" I heard one of our girl classmates asks.

Itiinigil ko ang pagsusulat ko at tumingala para makita kung sino-sino sila. Pero masyado yatang makakapal mukha nila, kaya naki-upo na sila malapit sa desk ko without asking me if pwede ba sila maki-upo o hindi.

"Hi!" ngiting bati sa akin ng nagtanong kanina.

She has long straight black hair ending to her chest and is wearing the uniform of the school. It has a blouse inside with a checkered necktie around the neck with the touch of the color red and white, the colors of the school, a red long sleeve vest where the two buttons near the hem of the vest are opened, and a checkered skirt above the knee. She is also wearing black shoes and socks above the knee to compliment the skirt.

"Hello," mabilis kong bati pero hindi pa rin interesadong makipag-usap.

"Ah, anong pangalan niyo ng kakambal mo?" tanong pa ng isa. Her hair was in a ponytail and she's also wearing the school uniform.

"Ako si Ellaine. Siya naman si Ellenie," maikli ko na namang sagot. Hindi pa rin interesadong makipag-usap. Seriously, saan nila nakukuha ang confidence makipag-usap sa mga bagong estudyante?

"Ako naman si Lynarne. Tapos ito naman sina Lourine at Mai," pagpapakilala ng unang babae na nagsalita kanina. 'Yung isa ay pandak pero cute at mukhang madaldal. 'Yung isa naman tahimik pero isa siya sa nagtanong kanina so I guess she's not that quiet. Her black hair is also straight like the first girl, but hers ends to her waist.

"Hi!" bati nila sa amin, pero hanggang ngayon wala akong interest na kausapin sila.

"May Wattpad account kayo?" Iyun agad ang unang tanong ni Lourine. I stared at her for a moment before answering. Wala naman kasi akong choice kung hindi sabihin sa kanila ang sagot unless I am really ignoring their presence.

"Oo," tipid kong sagot.

"Anong usernames niyo 'dun?"

"'Toyama_Kazuha118'. 'Yung kanya 'Mouri_Ran4869'."

"'Yung sa akin _xxlas," ani ni Lynarne.

"'Yung akin Sad_Pill," ani naman ni Mai.

"'Yung akin bshsbskab," ani naman ni Lourine. Mukhang hindi niya na pinag-isipan ang username niya.

After that, they are still asking questions like 'Saang school kayo galing?', 'Bakit kayo nag-transfer?', 'Matalino kayo?', and a couple more questions that I can answer.

"Ayaw niyo bang sumabay?" tanong ni Lynarne nang makatayo sila at lalabas na ng silid.

"Ah huwag na. Dito na lang kami," sagot ni Ellenie sa kanila. It's awkward for us to eat with them when we are still transferees.

Nag-stay kami sa loob ng silid at hinintay lumabas sina Kuya Ranran at Ate Eri sa room nila bago sumabay sa kanila papuntang canteen para kumain. Ate Eri, or Ericka Lhen Panganiban, is a classmate and a friend of Kuya Ranran from our previous school. Magkakasama lang naman rin naman kaming nag-transfer because of some issues on our previous school that I won't list down and Ate Eri was one of us who decided to change schools for the better.

Even though we are given honors and we were the teachers' favorites, I don't like their system of teaching. I do not want to be a favorite. I am just trying my best to aim for higher grades at that time because I swear to myself after my elementary graduation that I will do my best in high school and so I did. But I know people got jealous because of my success. Of my twin's success. I know they are feeling jealous and we just shrugged it off.

Medyo malayo sa main building namin ang canteen kaya kailangan pa naming malampasan ang cashier, vending machines, laboratories at ang SHS Building. Kumain kami roon at kwinento namin sa isa't isa ang mga nangyari sa unang araw namin sa mga kanya-kanya naming mga silid. Pagkatapus 'nun ay bumalik na rin kami sa building namin.

Pagkabalik namin sa silid ay wala pa ang mga kaklase namin kaya naman umupo na lang muna kami at nag-ayus ng gamit. Kinuha ko ulit ang sininop kong pocket notebook ko at nagsulat ulit doon ng mga codes since wala pa namang klase ngayong araw.

Nang makabalik ang mga kaklase namin sa silid ay may kasabay pa silang pumasok na isa pang estudyanteng nakasuot rin ng uniform. He's wearing a blouse underneath his red vest, just like Lynarne earlier. The two buttons on his vest are opened and were left like that. His skin is dark and his haircut is clean. He's not that tall. Maybe, just around 5'4. I'm just guessing. He's not into greeting people around him.

Sabi na nga ba may late lang kanina.

He seated right next to me on the vacant desk and chair. After that, I heard the screen door at the back open again. Doon kasi sila dumadaan o kaya sa may harapan. There are two screen doors. Hindi ko alam kung bakit rin dalawa ang pinto sa mga silid dito. The one that entered is a girl student in uniform also. Late din. Umupo siya sa pinakaunahang upuan sa row ko.

Lumipas ang oras at nagkaroon ng introduction nang pagpapakilala ng teachers at pagpapakilala sa harap. Tumayo ako ng ako na ang susunod na magpapakilala. When I am already standing in front, I look at them one by one before speaking.

"I am Ellaine Yezdaeca Gonzales, but you can call me Ella. I'm 13 years old. I live in Limay, Bataan, and was from the school of Saint Francis Catholic School in Orion. I have a twin and she's here. My hobbies are singing, dancing, crocheting, and reading. And nice meeting you all and take care of me." I bowed down and there was silence around when I already was seated. It was awkward but I just shrugged it off likewise.

"Salamat, Gonzales. Next."

Tumayo si Elle pagkatapus 'nun at nagpakilala sa harapan.

"I am Ellenie Zylarine Gonzales, but you can call me Elle..." At ganun rin ang sinabi niya katulad nang sinabi ko.

Hours passed at nalaman kong madadaldal din pala ang katabi ko sa mga lalaki. Also, the late girl was also talking to our new classmates, kala Lynarne, Mai and Lourine. Maybe, they are welcoming her or she's also an old student because she's also wearing the school uniform. Natapus ang araw ng wala pa kaming nakakausap at nagiging kaibigan. Sinundo ulit kami ni Lolo Ryan noong uwian at dumiretso na rin nang uwi.

Kinabukasan, it's Day Two of us as transferees. Hindi pa rin kami naka-uniform dahil hindi pa rin tapus ang pagtahi sa mga 'yun. Baka next week pa dumating ang uniforms namin or next month. Like yesterday, I sat on my chair and got my pocket notebook out again on my desk. Lagi na lang akong ganun. That's how I normally do when I entered the classroom. It was awkward. I don't have any friends except for my sister.

Time passed and somehow, mayroon na akong nakakausap. The guy seated in front of me is Daniel. May itsura siya and his thick hair is cut clean. Not my type of guy. He's also tall and a little bit chubby. His body size is cute actually, not to mention it's not impossible that girls would like him because of his looks. Maganda siguro lahi.

Nanghihingi siya ng piso kay Ash, my classmate with glasses in the next row on my left. He's in the second column of the row from the front.

"Wala talaga, Ash? Baka naman, pre, piso lang." Pero wala talagang maibigay si Ash sa kanya.

I motioned my hand to get the wallet in my bag at binuksan 'yun. I have spare coins because I don't know where to use it. Nagprisinta na akong bigyan siya pero nabubuang ata ang loko at hindi tinanggap ang alok ko. Napairap na lang ako at nilagay ulit ang kinuha kong piso sa wallet ko.

Test kami nang test. Pre-test lang naman 'yun para malaman kung may kaalaman na kami sa mga topics na idi-discuss sa amin for the next days. The next pre-test is Mathematics. Our teacher will be Miss Jera Adeline Alarcio.

"Good morning, Grade 8 - Hydrogen. Today, we will have a pre-test in Mathematics and this will not be recorded. Hindi maaapektuhan ang grades niyo so please distribute this to your classmates behind you at isa lang ang kunin per person. The last two rows will share papers dahil nagkulang na rin sa papel si teacher." And she distributed the papers to each row.

Naging magka-partner kami sa paper ng katabi kong lalaki. The one that was late yesterday before the girl who was also late. Sa row nila ipinasa ang papel kaya inusog ko na lang ang desk ko papunta sa gawi niya kasabay na rin ang upuan ko. I have my whole pad and ballpen in my desk already and same to him. But I think the only problem is the awkwardness between us so I gave my shot to talk even I am not an extrovert.

"Tara, share tayo sa test paper. Sabi ni ma'am eh. Dito lang ako sa tabi mo. Magsagot ka lang diyan," ani ko bago nagsimulang tignan ang test unang parte ng test paper na nakalagay sa dulo ng desk niya. I can see it properly, so it's not a big deal.

Ilang minuto pa kaming nagsagot at ang iba lang ang alam ko sa pre-test ng Mathematics dahil pinag-aralan na namin 'yun way back in our old school before we transferred here and some were just familiar to me so I guess I answered that questions right. Susubukan niya na sanang baliktarin ang papel pero hindi pa ako tapus. Ang bilis naman niya. Baka nanghula lang ng sagot.

"Wait lang, hindi pa ako tapus," ani ko sa kanyang ikinatigil niya sa pagbabaliktad ng papel. "Pero pwede ka naman magsagot! Ganto gagawin natin para hindi ka na mahirapan at matapus mo na pagsasagot mo," dagdag ko pang hinawakan ko ang papel. Hindi rin malakas ang boses ko dahil baka ma-distract ang iba kong mga kaklase sa pagsasagot nila.

Dahil hanggang sa likod namang ang mga tanong ay hinawakan ko sa gitna ang papel at iniharap sa kanya ang likod 'nun at sa akin naman nakaharap ang harap 'nun. Iyun ang ginagawa namin ng katabi ko dati noong elementary kapag may quizzes na share lang kami sa test paper na ibinigay sa amin o kaya noong NAT Training. Hindi na rin naman siya nagreklamo nung ginawa namin 'yun, but I still cannot remember his name despite all of that. Is it that hard to remember or am I not listening when it's his turn to introduce yesterday?

Sa Science, naging magka-partner ulit kami sa papel ng katabi ko. I cannot still remember his name so I just moved my desk and chair close to his desk without mentioning his name. Ganun ulit ang nangyari. Nauna ulit siya sa pagsasagot. But this time, he refused to do what we did a while ago. Napakunot ang noo ko.

"Pwede naman nating gawin ang ginawa natin kanin--"

"Tapusin mo muna 'yung sayo bago natin baliktarin," he cut me off.

Did he just speak to me? Medyo natulala na lang ako sa nangyari. That's the first time I heard his voice loud and clear in front of me but minimal in volume because we don't want to disturb the others while they are answering. His voice is not that deep and also not that high. His gaze is on the other side, I think, avoiding my eyes. Is he shy?

After the test, checking na ng test papers. Of course, we also exchanged papers. Ibinalik ko na rin ang posisyon ng desk at upuan ko. Highest sa test ay si Carl. Mine's just fine. It's just a pre-test. I don't need to worry about it that much.

Hanggang ngayon binabalot pa rin ang isipan ko nang ginawa ng katabi ko kanina. Ang gentleman lang ni Jason dahil kahit nauuna na siya sa pagsasagot sa akin, eh papasagutin niya muna ako bago namin babaliktarin ang papel para mag-sagot muli. Yes, I remember his name now. He is Jason Lavin Dela Rosa and he lives in Balanga, Bataan where this school was. But, what's his problem anyways? Ang bait-bait sa akin pero ang tahimik pagkinausap ko except for that part na bigla siyang nagsalita sa akin when I am just concerned that he's annoyed that I am a slow-handed test taker.

Weirdo.

Bago mag-lunch ay dumating si Ms. Liza para i-disbtribute na ang mga books na gagamitin namin this school year. Napansin ko ulit na ang bait ni Jason sa akin. Ang ingat niyang magbigay sa akin ng libro at ako pa ang nauuna niyang abutan ng libro kaysa ibigay na kaagad kay Carl na nasa likod niya. Also, kapag kay Carl niya na ibibigay ang libro, tamang bato na lang ang ginagawa niya. Is he thinking na bago ako kaya dapat maingat siya sa pagbibigay sa akin ng mga gamit na kakailanganin ko?

Nakakapagtakang hindi siya kumukuha ng libro. Samantalang, halos lahat sa amin ay kumukuha naman. Pagkatapos nang bigayan ng libro ay sinabi sa aming pwede na kaming pumili ng aming lockers, pero hindi muna kami kumuha at hinintay ang mga kaklase naming matapos kumuha ng mga pwesto nila. Pwedeng mag-share ang dalawang tao sa isang locker kaya magkasama na lang kami ni Elle since wala naman kaming mga kaibigan dito para maghiwalay pa kami ng locker.

Pumili na kami ng locker. Ang napili namin ay 'yung nasa pangalawa sa gitna sa taas. Nakita naming mayroon na iyong padlock. Tinanggal namin 'yun, at tinanggal din ang laman noon. Kasunod noon ang paglagay namin ng gamit namin sa loob ng locker. Bumalik kami sa upuan namin nang matapus naming ilagay ang mga gamit namin doon. Maya-maya pa ay mayroong sumigaw.

"Sinong nagtanggal ng gamit ko dito?! Kanino 'tong mga gamit na 'to?!"

Hindi ko siya pinansin, pero nung sumunod niyang tanong na sino nga ay sumagot na si Elle.

"Sa amin," sagot niya.

"Pwedeng ilipat niyo na lang gamit niyo sa ibang locker?"

Nawala na ang galit sa boses ng lalaki at naging mahinahon ang pagtatanong niya pero hindi pa din ako nakatingin kaya hindi ko alam kung sino ang nagrereklamo.

"Hindi na pwede. Nailagay na namin eh," sagot ni Elle sa kanya ngunit ayaw pa din paawat ng lalaki at gusto pa akong tanungin.

"Eh, sa kapatid mo? Ayus lang bang ipalipat ang gamit niyo?"

Hindi sumagot si Elle kaya humarap na ako nang na-bwiset na ako sa karereklamo niya. Hindi maganda ang timpla ng ugali ko this year and I don't want anything to piss me off. Nakapatong ang isa kong binti sa isa kong binti nang humarap ako sa kanya. My right arm rested in my desk and my left arm rested on the backrest of my chair. He's the guy beside Jason. If hindi ako nagkakamali, his name is Dylan Dela Cruz. He's wearing the same uniform as Jason pero nakasarado naman ang mga butones ng vest niya. His skin was a little bit lighter than Jason and his face was round. His face screams frustration while looking at me and his brows were furrowed. I compete with his eyes without me thinking to concede defeat.

"Nandiyan na 'yan. Nakuha na namin. Kung gusto mo ikaw ang lumipat dahil hindi na namin tatanggalin 'yan," sagot kong wala sa ugaling maging mabait.

I gave him death glares at hindi rin siya makatagal tignan ako dahil doon kaya iniwas niya kaagad ang tingin niya. While I am still looking at him, kinuha niya na ang mga gamit niyang nakalagay sa isang lumang steel cabinet sa tabi ng locker at siya na ang lumipat ng locker. He's obviously frustrated right now, but I don't care. Don't try me.

Also, in the first place, we don't know if the things inside were his things. Malay ba namin kung pag-aari pa 'yun ng previous Grade 8 students, because one of the lockers has things in it that are not owned by any of our classmates. Obviously, we're going to think that it's not his. Hindi niya rin naman kasi ni-lock ang padlock. I rolled my eyes thinking about it.

Pagkatapos niyang malipat ang mga gamit niya ay narinig kong may sinabi siya kay Jason, ngunit hindi ko na sila pinagtuunan pa ng pansin, dahil wala naman akong planong maging chismosa. Umirap ulit ako bago umayus ng upo paharap sa desk ko. Kung anu-ano na lang tuloy ang ginawa ko para malibang ko ang sarili ko sa mga nagdaang oras. Lagi ko ding napapansin si Rain na nilalapitan nina Lexie, at kinakausap tungkol sa BTS.

After the day ended, we are picked up by Lolo Ryan again. He asked about our day and we said it was fine. It's not like I didn't enjoy my day. It's just a different feeling for me. Parang may fog sa paligid ko, blocking my sight and my approachable side. I always wear my serious face while I am talking, eating, and explaining. I don't have the guts to smile. I think I will throw up if I did.

My smile was hidden before I transferred, because of that one guy named Harold. The guy I had a crush on and a thing with for two damn years. And it all just ended in one snap.

I looked outside the window of the car thinking where did I go wrong for him to stop loving me? My heart went numb after he left me. My mind lighten up when it happened. It's all just because of those words, I changed myself for the better.

"Hindi na kita gusto...Sorry..."

What did he just say?

"A-ano?" tanong ko muli at baka mali lang ako ng dinig.

"I don't love you anymore, Ellaine. Sorry..."