* * *
I don't remember how I ended up at the lake
it's nowhere near town. In fact, there are no
trails leading up to it, and no signs pointing
toward it, meaning you have tp go and
finding yourself. From the long list of
places I planned on avoiding today, this
was the last spot I expected to end up.
A few leaves fall from a tree as I throw
my things on the bench and sit, facing the
lake. Sam and I used to meet here in the
warmer months. It was our little escape
from the world. Our secret gateway when
we couldn't afford to leave town.
Sometimes, I would ait with a notebook,
trying to write something, while sam out
swimming, If i close my eyes, I can hear
him paddling in the water, see the glassy,
flat surface of the water, and find myself
alone again.
Stop thinking about sam. thing about
something else.
Writing often helps me keep my mind
off things. I brought a notebook with me.
But how do you write when it's hard to
focus? Maybe if I sit here long enough,
something will come to me. I touch my
pen to a blank page and wait for the words
to pour out. We don't have spaces for
creative writing at school, so I try to do it
on my own time. You never get the chance
to write what you want in class anyway. I
understand you have to know the rules
before you break them, but writing should
bring you joy, right? I think teacher forget
that. Sometimes, I forgot that. I hope
college will be a different experience.
I should be hearing back from colleges
soon. Reed college is my top choice. It's
where my mother went. You would think
that might help me in this situation.
" I don't have the greatest reputation there,
so I wouldn't mention me," my mother
warned. " When you're old enough, I'll tell
you the story. Other than that, Portland is
a wonderful city. You'll love it there."
It's doesn't hurt that its only four hours
away, so we won't be too far from each
other. I went through their course catalog
the other day, and it's full of creative writing
classes, all taught by established writers
from all over the world. I think I can be
myself there, find out what I'm good at.
Maybe I'll wnd up writing a book for my
creative thesis. But I'm thinking ahead of
myself. I found out they need a writing
sample from me. So even if I do get
accepted to reed, I might not make it into
the program. I have some pieces of writing
I could look through, but I'm worried non of
them are good enough. I should work on
something new. A strong sample that will
impress them. But this last week has made
it so hard to be creative. I can't get Sam out
of my head, no matter how hard I try. He
won't be there when I open my acceptance
letter. He'll never know if I get in.
TO BE CONTINUED.....