I shut the yearbook and stare out at the
water as this sinks in. A family of ducks
has appeared on other side of the lake. I
watch them make tiny rings in the water,
and listen to a breeze stir leaves from the
branches behind me, as the full weight of
Sam's words echoes through me. it's been
one week since sam died. And in my
attempt to move on, I've been trying to
erase him from my life like a terrible
memory. After everything we've through
together. I threw out all of his things. I
skipped his funeral. And I never ever said
good bye. In his death, Sam asked for only
one thing, and that was for us to remember
each other. Yet here I am trying so hard to
forget.
A shiver goes through me as the first
clouds begin to appear. The chill from this
morning return as I sit unmoving on the
beach, watching long shadows appear on
the surface of the lake, as this sudden
feeling of guilt sinks into my bones. I dont
even know how much time has passed
since I sat down. But the next thing I know,
I'm on my feet again, dashing back toward
town.
The farmers market is packing up as I
cut through it— it's flash of falling produce,
topping bread loaves, and turning heads. I
don't care who I bump into as I make my
way down the neighborhood streets
towards home. By the angle of the sun and
the still traffic, it must be late afternoon.
The garbage truck that makes its rounds
probably came by hours ago. But schedule
often change, and things run late, and
somewhere by the crub the box of Sam's
things might still be there.
As soon as I turn the corner and my
house is in the view, I look for the curb and
realize it's gone. Everything. All of Sam's
things. I nearly stumble as this heavy,
stinking feeling falls over me, like water
filling my chest, and I forget how to breath.
I run inside the house and check the
kitchen. The counters are empty. I search
the leaving room in the chance that my
mother had saved me from making a
horrible decision, and brought sam's things
back inside. But nothing's here.
I pull out my phone. My mother's at her
office, but still manage to answer on the
fourth ring.
" Mom—where are you?"
" Why? Julie, is something wrong?"
I realize how out of breath I sound. But
I can't seem to collect myself.
" Julie, what are you talking about? Of
course I didn't"
" So you don't know where it is?" I ask
desperately.
" I'm sorry, I don't" she says. " Are you
alright? Why do you sound like that?"
" I'm fine. it's just I.... I have to go—"
I hang up the phone before she can say
anything else. My stomach sinks. it's too
late. Everything I had left of sam is gone.
TO BE CONTINUED.....