Mika sets down the menu. She laces her fingers together on the table as I have another sip of coffee. The jukebox blinks orange and blue from across the room but no music plays. An air of silence nearly settlea between us until Mika finally asks the question.
" So, did you want to talk about it?"
" Not really."
" Are you sure? I thought that's why you
wanted to meet."
" I wanted to get out of the house."
She nods. " That's good. But how are
you handling all of this?"
"Fine, I guess."
Mika says nothing. She looks at me, as
if expecting more.
" Well, what about you, " I ask her
instead. " How have you been?"
Mika's gaze falls onto the table as she
thinks about this. "I don't know.
The services have been hard. There isn't
really a temple around here, so we're doing
what we can. There's a lot of traditions and
customs I didn't even know about, you
know?"
" I can't imagine..." I say. Mika and sam
have always been connected to Their
culture in a way that I haven't. My parents
are both from somewhere in northern
Europe, but it's not something I really think
about.
Things quite again. Mika stirs her coffee for a long time without saying anything. Then she goes still, as if remembering
something. " We held a vigil for him,"
she says without looking at me. "The day
after. I stayed the night with him. I got to
see him again..."
My stomach clenches at the thought of
this. At seeing sam one more time afer he..
I stop myself from imagining it. I have
another sip of coffee, and try to blink the
image away, but it doesn't fade. I wish she
wouldn't tell me about this.
" I know. Not a lot of people wanted to
see him like that," Mika says, still not
looking at me. " I almost couldn't do it,
either. But I knew it was the last time I
would get the chance. So I went."
I don't say anything. I drink my coffee.
" There were a lot of people at the funeral, though, " she continues. " We didn't have enough seats. There were people from school I didn't even recognize. There were so many flowers."
" That's really nice."
" Some people asked where you were,"
Mika says. " I told them you weren't feeling well. That you prefer visiting him on your own."
" You didn't have to explain anything," I say.
" I know. But some of them kept asking."
" Who?"
" It doesn't matter who," Mika says, brushing it off.
I have the last sip of my coffee, which by now has lost all of its warmth, intensifying the bitterness.
Mika looks at me. " So have you visited him?"
I take my time to respond. " No... not yet."
" Do you want to?" she asks, taking my hand again. " We can go now. together."
I pull my hand back. " I—I can't right now.."
" Why not?"
" I have things to do," I say vaguely.
" Like what?"
I don't know what to say. *Why do I need to explain myself?*
A/N- TO BE CONTINUED.....