"Rowan!" I called. Natigil siya sa paglalakad pero hindi nag tagal ay nag lakad nang muli.
I ran as fast as I can just to reach him. But, how can I even catch up with this athlete? A runner to be exact. Hinihingal na ako, I'm fully aware that some students are staring at me, with judgment on their eyes, of course.
I stop on my track. Natanaw ko pa si Rowan pero ilang saglit lang ay tuluyan nang nawala sa paningin ko.
Umupo ako sa may damuhan. I took a deep breath before closing my eyes.
Ah, The calmness of the atmosphere, my calm heart, and the happiness I felt in every beat of my heart.
How can a man make my heart beat like this? Just by seeing him makes me happy, the way he walked, the way he stopped when I called, and the way he pretended like he didn't hear me at all.
It all makes me happy, Whenever I saw him, I am at peace. Just the sight of him completes me.
I opened my eyes only to see my friend, Emery, staring at me like I'm some stupid piece of shit. Her right hand is on her waist, nakapamaywang ito, she arched her left brow.
I glared at her too. Panira ng momentum.
She quickly sat beside me. "Weirdo." She murmured, but I'm pretty sure she wants me to hear it, and so I did. Siniko niya ako.
"Are you daydreaming? Again?" I glanced at her, her gaze is now in the sky. She also closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. I looked away, patago akong ngumiti, weirdo pala ha.
"No. I zoned out." She mocked a laugh, based on my peripheral vision she's not looking at me, her eyes on the sky, only.
"Still the same." I smiled.
"Uhuh."
We both became silent for a moment, admiring the atmosphere, how peaceful this field can be. The other students who laughed at me a while ago already left, they must be bored for not witnessing an awkward scene.
"See...." I glanced at her, nagsalita siya pero hindi naman tinuloy. I didn't look away, I felt something, there is something between the silence between us.
She glanced at me and when she saw me staring at her, she quickly avoided my eyes and look on the other side of the field.
She cleared her throat. "What if....we both fall for the same man?" Shocked by her words, I bursted out laughing. Normally, she would laugh too, but surprisingly, she didn't.
I stopped laughing. I get it, she's serious.
"Why? I mean, why would you let yourself fall for the man I truly like?... Well, this goes for both parties ha? Not just mine." She tried to smile, and that's when I knew, she's hiding something from me.
Is it her feelings? Or a secret? I don't know. Normally, she would tell me, but why this sudden change?
"Don't worry, I won't let myself fall." She said meaningfully. My forehead instantly creased.
"Is something bothering you? Em?" Mabilis siyang umiling. I am worried, a thought entered my mind and I ignored it. That's absurd. She wouldn't, she won't. She can't.
May inabot siya sa 'kin, a small red box, hindi ko nga napansin na dala niya pala ito. I unknowingly reached for it. Noong nasa kamay ko na iyon ay ngumiti siya, she sincerely smiled.
"Don't open it yet, please?" Nagtaas ako ng kilay. "Oh eh, bakit mo binigay?"
She laughed at my question and turned her back at me.
"Forgive me Amaya." She said and started walking away, away from me. Humakbang na ako para tigilan siya, I am probably clueless about what's happening, ni hindi ko nga ma-proseso sa utak ko. I called her name but she refused to stop walking just to face me.
A hint.
An idea.
A thought came, but I refused to believe it. Bakit ba? I have no proof, and I am not expecting this to happen! Not at all! Not even for every second time of my life! No, Never.
Emery...
I halted when I saw her wiped her tears away, her shoulder's goes up and down, nanginginig. I know that it's obviously a sign of sadness, cry, tears.
"Do...you really...love the man whom I'm falling for?" I whispered to myself. It's a question meant for Emery, pero, hindi ko kayang itanong sa kaniya, I only have the guts kapag nakatalikod siya.
Nawala na siya sa paningin ko, wala na siya sa field, hindi ko na mahagilap.
The joy, the pain, we both experienced, bigla-bigla ko nalang itong naalala. Tears started falling. Nanghihina ako.Hindi, parang ang imposible.
She's my Emery, my friend, my only friend.
Even in my wildest dream, ni hindi ko naisip na mangyayari ito. My knees gave up, sinalo ako ng lupa.
Humihikbi na ako, hindi, humahagulgol na siguro? I'm aware na pinagtitinginan na ako ng ibang estudyante. I probably snatched their attention. Nasa gitna ako ng field, umeeksena.
I can't stand up, hindi ko kaya, sobrang nanghihina ako.
Panay ang banggit ko sa pangalan ni Emery, like that would make her come to me, embrace me, and explain everything to me.
She helped me in almost everything, she helped me, she helped me! Pero bakit? Bakit umabot na sa ganito? If she'll explain her self, ayos lang, maiintindihan ko naman, pero bakit? Bakit? Ang sakit.
"Em-ry" Nauutal na ako, dahil na siguro sa pag iyak ko.
Pinalilibutan na ako ng mga estudyante, narinig ko pa ngang may iilang professor na nagtatanong sa ibang estudyante na kung ano daw ang nangyayari sa akin.
Hindi naman nila masagot dahil wala silang alam, just like me, they're clueless.
"Breiman, Can you assist Ms. Antonio back to her room? Tanghaling tapat dito pa sa field umeeksena." I recognized the voice, she's professor Luther, takot ako sa kaniya pero bakit parang ngayon hindi.
My emotions probably consumed me.
I heard murmurs, na umeeksena raw ako para mapalapit lang kay Rowan.
But truthfully? That doesn't concern me anymore. Even if it's Rowan. I'm too preoccupied with the sadness I'm feeling right now.
I tried to stand up, but I'm too weak. When I was about to fall, bigla akong may naramdamang brasong pumulupot sa baywang ko.
I looked up to see who it is. When I knew it was Land, I immediately wrapped my arms around him, hinigpitan ko pa. I cried on his chest, hindi ko na kaya, sobrang sakit.
"Oh? You're not needed here anymore Mr. Breiman, anyways, students! Go back and mind your own business!" Professor Luther announced. I didn't know kung nagsialisan nga ba talaga ang lahat ng nasa paligid, I'm too busy crying, hurting.
"Shh." He whispered and caressed my back. Mas lalo akong humagulgol, I punched his chest, softly.
"I...hate you." I said in between cries. Sinuntok ko siyang muli.
Inalo niya ako ng ilang minuto, hanggang sa hindi ko namalayan na nasa clinic na kami, nakahiga ako sa hospital bed at siya naman ay naka-upo.
"Better?" He asked. I can see worry in his eyes, worry and anger? I don't know, I can't read face.
Maayos na ang pakiramdam ko, I am no longer crying. My eyes and nose are swollen, perks of crying so bad.
I tried to suppressed a smile. Huminga ito ng malalim. Umiwas din ng tingin.
"I'm sure you heard a lot of rumors lately?" I was taken a back by his question, umiyak pa lang ako tapos paiiyakin niya ulit? He's so insensitive.
Yumuko ako, I started playing my own fingers, pinagdidikit ko at kung ano pa. "Yeah." Wala sa sariling sagot ko, I am not ready to hear the truth!
"Does it hurt?" Tears started to fall by his next question. Sobra na. Sobrang sakit na. Tumalikod ako sa kaniya at nagtalukbong ng kumot.
Then, I cried, again. Naramdaman ko ang pag lapat ng kaniyang palad sa braso ko, niyugyog ako. I tried to avoid it pero he forcefully let my body face him.
Hindi ko man gusto ay napaharap na ako sa kaniya, he wiped some tears on my cheeks, then he hugged me, warmly.
"Don't cry, hear her explanation." I pushed him. Shocked by my actions, bigla siyang lumayo ng bahagya.
I glared at him.
Hear her what? Explanation?!
Sinong tanga ang makikinig pa sa kaniya?! I woman whom I called my one and only true friend.
Halos lahat alam niya. Pero bakit? Why would she do that? Why does she fall?
I like Rowan and why did she like him too?