To regain my composure, I cleared my throat. Geez. Rowan is a gentleman, and I shouldn't attribute malice to his good deed.
"What if... You're busy?" I inquired, and He abruptly came to a halt, as did I. He gave me a blank stare. I tried to turn aside since I was self-conscious about my appearance, but I couldn't when he started talking.
He answered, "I always have time," and I tried hard not to show any emotion in my face. He trailed off, "If it's you." I turned away this time and began walking, naramdaman ko din naman siyang sumunod.
I used my coat as a fan. Grabe, bakit bigla akong pinagpapawisan ngayon? I'm not concerned with my surroundings because I'm too busy with how I'm feeling right now, my heart's racing.
May nabunggo ako na babae na sa tingin ko ay bad mood. She came to a halt and turned to face me, irritated by what had happened.
"Anong-?" she's about to throw words at me but she stopped as she noticed someone na nasa likod ko, most likely si Rowan.
The woman quickly pulled me away and immediately smiled at Rowan. Shocked by her next words, I almost choke on my own saliva.
"Ah-heherr. Are you okay? Sorry! Sorry!" She seductively roamed her palms on my baby's arm. "I'm sorry! I'm in a hurry." She reasoned out while not leaving Rowan's face from her gaze. I blinked then stood beside Rowan.
Is she serious? She and I are the one who bumped into each other! "Apologize to her, not to me." Rowan said in a dull tone and barely pointed to my position. The woman lazily looked at me. I felt the woman's annoyance with me suddenly.
"Oh! Sorry." I'm not even lying, halatang hindi sincere. I smiled at her, fakely. Bahagya kong tinapik si Rowan para ipahiwatig na aalis na kami.
"Is this... somehow... destiny?" Walang hiyang sambit ng babae. My eyeballs almost drop. Gulat akong tumingin sa kaniya, pero ang loka kay Rowan lang nakatingin. Lugi. Maganda naman ako, pero sa gwapo tumingin.
"Excuse us." Rowan guided me back to our path. Kung hindi lang ako aware na maraming tao sa paligid baka lingunan ko ulit ang babae at belatan.
Nang makalayo na ay natanaw na namin ang university, well, it isn't a long walk. Malapit lang din naman pero pag kasama ko si Rowan parang bumabagal ang oras. Mukhang pati ang orasan at ang deity nito ay support sa'min.
Dahil malapit na kami sa university, marami na ang nakakakita sa'min. I don't care. Bakit ako papa-apekto sa mga judgmental nilang mga mata? Their point of view won't stop me.
"See you around." I waved my hand at Rowan. He nodded and stifled a smile. When he turned his back, my face immediately heated. Mag kasama kami?! I'm still in awe.
Mula sa pag post niya ng stolen pic ko sa twitter account niya, tapos ngayon na magkasama kami.
I ignored the murmurs I heard while heading to the library. Mamaya pa namang 1:30 ang klase ko kaya tatambay nalang muna ako. The librarian gave me her usual gaze. Nagsusulat pa ako sa logbook nang biglang nagsalita ang librarian.
"I heard things are doing great huh?" She said in a monotone. Alam kong ako ang kinakausap niya, wala naman na tao sa likod ko, she's not even holding her cellphone.
Saktong pag angat ko nang tingin ay nakita ko ang pag ayos niya ng kaniyang suot na salamin. If Professor Luther isn't Miss Minchin right now, pwede siyang substitute. Her gaze is soft pero tila ba may katigasan pa rin.
"Uh... Yes, I'm actually doing great in... other subjects... Lately." After that I paused for a moment waiting for her response, after a while she was silent. Tapos na ako sa logbook and I was about to find some good books to read when she talked.
"It's not just about your grades. It's also about something else." May diin ang pagkakabanggit niya sa mga huling salita. I blinked twice and realized what she's referring to.
What's this? Pati ba ang librarian dapat na makiusisa sa kalagayan ng isang estudyante?
"I'm not quite sure about where we're heading but if something is doing great... Then it's a good news." I smiled at her, half-heartedly, hindi ko gusto ang ginagawa niya. Wala na ulit siyang sinabi at napatikhim na lamang.
Hindi rin naman ako nag tagal sa library. Emery called me in the middle of finding good books to read. She told me to come out and meet her at the field.
Natanaw ko ang naiinis na si Land, mukhang inaasar ni Emery. May inabot sa kaniya si Emery na maliit na brown paper bag pero tinanggihan lamang ni Land.
I stopped walking, tinatanaw ang dalawa na nag aasaran pero sweet kaya 'yon. I promised myself not to stay for too long, baka maistorbo ko na naman sila. My days of being stupid and numb are over.
"Hey love birds!" Sabay silang lumingon sa gawi ko nang makalapit na ako. Awtomatikong dumilim ang tingin ni Land sa'kin. Oo na, sorry na! hindi ko na kayo iistorbohin.
"Hey! May nakita akong hate post sa Facebook..." Tumigil siya saglit, nag iisip kung itutuloy pa ba ang sasabihin o hindi na. "It's about you, ang caption ano 'Amaya Antonio the rich slut' tapos may picture, ikaw tapos si Rowan." Halata ang pag-iingat niya sa mga binibitawang salita.
Nangyari na 'to dati, but it's the first time na may litrato ko at... Wait!
"Rowan?! Picture ko tapos si Rowan?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
"Oo. Mukhang papunta kayo sa university e." Pareho kaming lumingon kay Land nang may narinig kaming something na dinudurog.
Nakita ko ang plastic bottle na tuping-tupi na sa kamao niya, kawawa naman.
"Huy! Anong ginagawa mo?" Puna ni Em. Pilit na ngumiti si Land sa'min.
"Stress bottle." Simpleng sagot niya at may dinurog ulit sa kamao niya. Umirap si Emery at nag patuloy na sa pag kwento.
"Stress ball kasi 'yon. Tanga." Pahabol na bulong ni Emery bago mag iba ng topic. I'm pretty sure na narinig iyon ni Land. Kaya sumulyap ako sa gawi niya, nang makitang nakatingin ito sa'kin agad akong umiwas.
"Pake mo." Pikon na bulong ni Land na halata namang gusto niyang marinig ni Emery. Emery stopped talking and glared at him.
"Pwede ba? Umalis ka na nga!" Pagtataboy ni Em. "Bago ka umalis, ibigay mo muna kay Amaya mga binili mo." Tatalikod na sana si Land pero natigil sa pahabol na sinabi ni Em. He stiffened pero kalaunan ay inabot ang paper bag na nasa bermuda grass na. Dahan-dahan itong lumapit sa gawi ko, he's trying to catch my gaze pero panay ang iwas ko.
"Here." Tinanggap ko ang inabot niya at nagpasalamat. I don't have any idea kung para saan itong mga binili niya.
He mouthed few words to Emery bago siya umalis.
"Ano 'to?" I asked, referring to the paper bag. Ngumisi si Em.
"Buksan mo." Nginuso niya ang hawak ko kaya binuksan ko na. Kumunot ang noo ko nang may makitang band aid, bandage, antibiotic ointment at kung ano-ano pa.
"For what?" I asked Em.
"May nakita raw siyang sugat sa may bandang tuhod mo kaya siya bumili." Woah. I am shocked. I mean, I have some scratches near my knee dahil sa pusa sa bahay. I got this last night, nilambing ko kasi pero instead of receiving something back, I received scratches instead.
"This is too much." Totoo naman talaga, ang daming binili e scratch lang naman.
"OA nga." Si Em.
She told me about the hate post, again. Mostly from senior high. I also read some mean comments.
Bianca: Mayaman kaya ang lakas ng loob na lumandi.
James: Slut pala? Sayang, crush ko pa naman.
Love: Hindi ba dati palagi siyang iniignore ni Breiman?
These mean comments turns Emery into a raging bull. Ang paghinga niya ay naging mabilis. I'm touched by her reaction.
"Don't worry Am, bukas wala na 'yang mga hate posts about sayo." She tapped my shoulder.
"Baka ma-late ka." She point out as she glanced at her wrist watch. Ngumuso ako at tumango. I said thank you and left her. I wanna talk about something else, about sa nangyari kanina habang kasama ko si Rowan pero next time nalang siguro.
Panay ang iwas ko ng tingin sa titig ni Miss Minchin. Ano na naman kaya ang nagawa ko? Palagi naman akong tahimik sa lectures niya. I can't help but to noticed the stares my blockmates are giving me. Is this about the hate post? Sabi ni Em bukas pa naman mawawala 'yon, so siguro trending ako ngayon.
5 pm ang uwian and when the hands of the clock points at that time, sobrang saya ko lang. Finally, no more creepy stares, or so I thought.
Pati ba naman sa field may mga panay ang tingin sa'kin, ang iba hindi pinapahalata pero sobrang obvious naman.
My lips immediately form a sweet smile when I saw Rowan running around the field. May training siya ngayon? I stared at him for I don't know how long.
His hair is wet, probably by his sweats. I noticed the muscles he have on his legs. Hot.
My hot Bebe!
In all fairness tahimik lang ang coach niya pero halata ang pagsusuri nitong maigi kay Rowan. Mabilis naman si Rowan, but I don't know about the other runners, baka some of them are fast as a cheetah. Wow lang, edi sila na fast.
Nag squat ako sa ground kung saan malapit lang sa goal ng isang soccer team. Kung may practice ang soccer team possible na matamaan nila ako pero wala naman atang practice, tahimik ang field e.
The position I am in is perfect para lang masulyapan ang bebe ko. I glanced at the bleachers where his things are put on. My forehead creased when I saw Emery. Naka-upo sa isang bleacher, kung saan naroon ang mga gamit ni Rowan.
She's bored, halata. She probably didn't see me, panay ang tingin niya sa lupa e. I fished out my phone and texted her. Natawa ako ng makita na luminga-linga siya sa paligid. I waved my hand para mas maging easy na mahagilap niya ako. She waved her hand too and smiled sweetly.
Narinig ko ang galit na sita ng coach ni Rowan sa kaniya, I pretended to not hear anything, baka kung anong magawa ko sa kaniya e. Though, he's just doing it because it's his duty.
From Emery:
- Hoy loka! Hindi ka pa uuwi?
I smiled as I read her message. It's already 6:30 in the afternoon? I didn't notice the time, I'm too busy eyeing my bebe.
To Em:
- Nope. Maya-maya pa.
She send me some emoji and my eyes widened when I noticed something. An emoji raising its middle finger. I scoffed.
What is this? Hindi niya kaya sa personal pero kerri niya sa text?!
Unconsciously, I raised my middle finger in the air. Instinct nalang, hindi ko naman gustong itaas talaga kasi baka may makakita, but I couldn't stop myself, automatic siya. Agad ko din namang binaba nang makita kong lumingon si Rowan sa pwesto ko.
Nag kunwari akong busy sa pananabunot ng mga bermuda grass sa ground. Syempre, I steal a glance from time to time. Can't take my eyes off of my bebe.
"Are you injured Breiman?!" Napaangat ako ng ulo at lumipad ang tingin kay Rowan na pinapagalitan na naman ng coach niya.
My lips formed an 'O' seeing how tired Rowan is. Ang kaniyang mga kamay ay naka-patong na sa magkabila niyang tuhod. He's breathless, hot sweats dripped on his body like they're seducing my Rowan. Tumingin siya kay Emery na naka-upo malapit sa bag niya.
May tinuro siya, hula ko ay ang towel niya. Emery's not that bad, she knows when someone needs her. Unwillingly, kinuha niya ang towel ni Rowan mula sa bag nito, she took a quick glance at me before marching towards Rowan.
She said something kay Rowan pero I wasn't able to hear it. Inaudible.
My heart felt something strange when I saw how Rowan smiled and laughed at whatever Emery said. Not a fan of this feeling, I immediately looked away.
Hindi ko naman plano na umalis na lang sa field pero iyon nga ang nagawa ko. I didn't know why, my original plan was just to look away.
What's this feeling? Iyon bang bigla ka na lamang napa-walk out dahil sa nakita. Is this jealousy? Or some unidentified feeling.
Whatever is this, pakshet.
This is what I don't like when it comes to liking someone. Papasok na kasi yung jealousy. I might have said to myself that I won't be jealous if ever na may kasamang iba ang gusto ko.
But what can I do? It comes out naturally, gustohin ko man o hindi.
I stopped on my track when I saw Land. It's getting dark, I don't want to bother him pero kasi hindi ako masusundo ni Manong. May family bonding sila, ayaw ko namang sirain momentum nila.
"Land!" I called, tumakbo ako papunta sa kaniya. He was stunned for a moment pero agad din namang nakabawi. I jokingly bumped his shoulder with mine, I flashed a smile as we stared at each others eyes.
"Thank you sa kanina. Kalmot lang naman ito ng pusa, nag abala ka ah?" He started walking and so I did. Sa mukha niya lang ako naka-tingin habang naglalakad.
I can't help but to stare, there's something, may something na hindi ko alam kung ano, hindi ko ma-tukoy.
I stared at his face like I am looking for something, but I am actually not looking for something. Gustohin ko mang umiwas pero hindi ko magawa.
Dahil sa ginagawa ko muntik na akong bumagsak sa lupa! Luckily Land was there to hold me.
"Careful." He simply said and pulled my body up by pulling my bag.
I innocently looked at him as my body get it's own pace back. I noticed some students are looking at us with their usual expression. Judging.
When he started walking, sumunod ako sa kaniya. I tilted my head. Weird, frankly, kapag may ganoong ganap sa mga movie o sa libro usually the leading man will hold the leading lady on her waist, kasi ganoon talaga.
Eh bakit ako? Sa bag hinawakan? It's not even part of my body!
On second thought, he ain't my leading man so he's not the one throned to hold me on my waist.
Napansin kong iba na ang tatahaking daan ni Land kaya pinigilan ko siya by grabbing his left arm.
He stopped and glanced at my hand grabbing his arm. I awkwardly let his arm's go.
"Sorry! But I have a favorrrrr..." Hininaan ko pa ang pagbigkas sa huli, nakakahiya din naman kasi.
"What?" Bored na tanong nito.
"Can you dropped me by sa house?" He suddenly looked away.
"Luckily, Hindi ko dala ang sasakyan ko." My forehead creased.
"Then... What are we gonna do? Walk?" Maarteng tanong ko. If he said yes, baka masakal ko siya.
"Obviously." That hit the spot, inis ko siyang inakbayan at bahagyang hinigpitan ang kamay sa leeg.
I'm done with his distant attitude, mukha ba akong others sa kaniya? Pansin ko ang gulat niya sa ginawa ko. What? Kung umakto akala mo first time.
"Bakit hindi mo dinala? You know that sidewalks aren't safe na!" He smoothly put his left arm on my shoulder while grinning. Aba, ano? Akbayan kami? Inalis ko na ang kamay ko sa balikat niya. In the end siya nalang ang naka-akbay.
"I'm a man. I doubt that."
"Rapists wouldn't come at you, baka pwede pa. But duh! How about snatchers? Ay sabagay rich ka." Sabay kaming lumingon sa isa't-isa. Ngayon ko lang napansin na sobrang lapit pala namin, our bodies are touching! Add the fact that his arms are on my shoulder.
I felt something but I couldn't figure it out.
"Think positive, Am." Nagulat ako nang bahagya niyang nilapit ang mukha niya sa'kin.
"Y-You think positive and I'll think negative! " He looked away as he bursted out laughing. I can't help but to stare again, what's so funny? His moves were slow for me, may slow motion pala mata ko e.
My phone beeped, Gusto ko pa sanang titigan siya ng matagal but I also have to read the message.
My mouthed formed an "o" when I read the message. Oh my gosh?!
"What happened?" Land stopped laughing and worriedly asked me. He removed his hands that's resting on my shoulder.
"Nasa ospital si Rowan!" I said with wide eyes. Oh my gosh?! How did it happened?!
I felt different kinds of emotions this time, hindi ako mapakali. I tried calling a taxi but not a single one stop by! My goodness!
"Land! What to do? What should I do?! Si Rowan!!!" I shake his arms as I said those words, Tila ba pinapahiwatig ko na gumawa siya ng paraan para mapuntahan ko si Rowan. My eyes started to water.
"Calm down, I bet it isn't that serious." He coldly said. His change of mood didn't even bother me. "What?! It might be serious!" He frustratingly closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened it I was scared for a moment.
He looked so mad.
"I'll call someone."