Lunch went ok, I guess.
Well after my nerves settled down and my heart stopped beating against my rib cage like a caged animal, and my perverted thoughts eased up.
"So do you know what you want for the party?"
I asked after our drinks were given to us. He was having gin and tonic, while I just drank tonic water.
I need a drink
"This lunch is to get to know each other, not for business"
He said with a chuckle as he took a sip of his gin, and Adam's apple did the things that took my mind straight to the gutter.
Sweet sweet mother of all gins.
Taking a sip from my water, to calm that raging hormonal teen I thought I discarded a long time ago.
"What better way to know you Mr. Ronan than you telling me what you like?"
I give him a small smile which he returned, making my heart melt into the liquid fire in my rib cage.
I've had lunch with clients before so he is no different.
Yea tell that to your libido
I drank the cold tonic to snap myself out of it.
"Now how fair is it that I get to call you by your first name and where you are calling Mr. Ronan?"
"Well you the client"
I said as if it was a known fact, he rolled his eyes and I almost burst out laughing seeing a grown man of his stature roll their eyes.
"Mr. Ronan is my father, please call me Liam."
He said with a small smile, I can't help but return it.
It's like I was lost in his eyes, they just drew me in and I found myself lost.
Every time.
Well, that was until I heard someone clear their throat.
Looking up the with an apologetic smile.
"Sir, ma'am. Ready to order?"
Fumbling with my menu since I didn't even get to look at it.
Closing the menu I just ordered what I always ordered
"I will have the beef schwarma, platter, please. And another tonic water with lots ice and extra lemons"
I said closing my menu and handing it to the waiter.
"I'll have the same except the tonic water, give me coke with extra ice."
Liam said giving his menu to the waiter.
"So where were we Shay?"
He said leaning forward, putting his elbows on the table, the way he said my name, this man was here for my torment I swear.
Why did he say my name like that?
**
"Thank you for lunch"
He said as we stood in Luke's office, we came back here because Luke said to pass there as soon as I'm back.
"It was my pleasure"
I said in my mind I was thinking oh yes it was
Seriously
Who made this guy, the god of temptation, is there such a thing?.
Luke got off the phone.
"So how was lunch?"
He asked while he gestures for us to sit down, sitting on the sofa.
Liam set opposite while Luke set next to me.
"It was very interesting"
Liam said winking at me, why you ask.
I don't know, all I know is I liked it.
"She ordered her usual?"
Luke made fun of me and my everyday choice.
"I'm guessing so since she didn't even look at the menu"
Liam said, both of them laughing.
"You two know I'm sitting right here right?"
I said squinting my eyes and pointing my finger at them. Which just caused them to laugh.
Men
I rolled my eyes
"Well, I have to get back. But it was a pleasure meeting you Mr... I mean Liam. When you leave please don't forget to make an appointment for whenever or you can have your people call mine."
I said standing while picking up my bag and standing straight with me holding my bag with both hands in front of me.
Liam and Luke stood up, Luke walked up to his desk and leaned against it.
Is he enjoying this shit show?
Does he know that I'm suffering from side effects from my medication?
I was starting to wonder
While Liam walked towards me in slow-motion, at first I thought nothing of it, thinking he'll stand next to Luke.
The man did, he continued walking towards me and that look he had.
Why is he looking at me like that
I scrunch up my nose and furrow my brow.
"No Shay, the pleasure was all mine"
Why did he say it like that, why did he say it like that??
I moved back out of instinct.
But he then extended his hand for me to take.
After that?
Does he want me to take his hand?
I hesitated and looked at Luke who was looking at me with a smile saying ' you know you want to, as much as I'm running away from the sparks and the electricity that wakes on my body when I touch him, I did want to take his hand.
I did
Hesitantly I took it and I felt them, then my eyes widen when his lips came down to my hand.
I saw it frame by frame happening in slow motion, I saw it coming, his lips puckering a bit, his eyelashes betting and kiss his cheekbones.
I saw it all but I felt so blindsided at the same time.
I couldn't move, I froze for a second, but that second could have easily been a lifetime.
I could feel it all, in a way I never knew being touched a hand would feel.
I could feel his touch in every part of my body, and that's what's scared me.
How??
Aren't you getting what you wanted?
I pulled away when I felt my breathing becoming shallow.
I moved back but when my back hits the door I flinched as if I was unconscious but was suddenly thrown off from the bed and jolted awake.
I didn't want this.
What is this?
Fear was written all over my face, I'm sure because Liam's face went from cocky to concerned in a second.
"Are you okay?"
No
He asked his hand coming towards me for comfort but my body flinched away from his touch.
I don't want that thing near me
"Don't touch me, Mr. Ronan."
My voice sounded so small and hoarse, I could hear the blood rushing in my ears.
"Shay?"
Luke said pushing off the desk.
I looked up at him tears brimming, Like a cold bucket of ice has just been poured on me, I remembered a promise I made years ago.
What have I done?
"Shay, I didn't mean to upset you."
Liam said but I cut him off-putting my hand up, I did this.
I'm the one who was drooling like a fool and smiled and went to lunch.
It's all me
"Please, Liam. I will talk to you later. I think it's time for you to go now"
Luke said rushing to my side and I accepted his comfort, Liam didn't say anything after that.
He did however gave me a look that broke me even more, I just wanted to tell him that I'm the one who should be sorry.
I'm at fault, he just read me like a book
He left
"Take me home"
I said in a cracked voice, Liam's broken face was all I could see as he left.
Why am I affected by him, for fuck sake I just met him today.
This was like some Geordie bull crap.
Who am I Holly or Charlotte?
"Shay, are you"
"Please Luke,"
Cutting him off almost in tears as I open the door of the office, Liam's Cologne was suffocating me, but the man's essence was everywhere, I rushed to the elevator.
I needed air, fresh air.
Liam's Cologne was even in the elevator.
what sick joke was this??
It felt like forever before I heard that sweet sound of the elevator door opening.
The doors to the elevator close and we went down, just me and Luke.
"There is no shame in liking him, it has been 5 years Shay. No one is gonna judge you"
Luke's voice was soft, comforting even.
But I couldn't, I wouldn't listen.
When the person who was judging me was myself.
I'm such an idiot
When the elevator doors open, I throw myself out and jump out the doors than almost run to the front door across the lobby.
Fresh air hit me hard on the face, I felt winded and appreciative at the same time.
Oh the fresh air, it was such a blessing to my lungs, my face, my senses.
Dear God
Luke pulled the car upfront and I was too happy to jump in.
We drove in silence, my heart wouldn't stop beating so much, I feared my rib cage would give way.
When we drive up the driveway that's when Luke broke the silence
"Do you like him? Because Shay I don't think you would be this upset if you didn't"
I don't like him.
Liar!!
Luke said as a matter of factly.
When the car stopped I wasted no time in running in the house with Luke behind me calling for me to stop, but I wanted to hear nothing, especially the truth.
When I got in Katie and Ave were home and when they heard Luke shouting my name, they came out of the kitchen to see what was going on.
Calling for me as well when my face met theirs and they saw how upset I was.
Now listen, in my mind, I knew I was acting irrational, but for some reason it made me wanna be more irrational.
I was acting like a baby, on impulse. That's what Nick use to tell me, that I never thought things through at times.
That thought only made me run even faster and go straight for my room and lock my door.
Two months down the drain, only because my hormones couldn't handle seeing a good looking man
Banging, calling.
That's what everyone was doing, I felt like a cheater, a betrayer.
I climbed on my bed and held myself while I cried myself to oblivion.
How can I like someone else in that way other than my husband??
I'm so sick, twisted I tell you.
Well, at least that's what I thought.