The next morning I wake up with Ave taking the majority of the bed.
A horrible sleeper that's what she was, I could not for the life of me figure out how she felt comfortable like that, her body twisted in angles I thought hurts.
Well for me anyway.
I rubbed my eyes of sleep as I got out of bed and straight for my bathroom, do all my morning routine and came out with a towel around me.
I took out a white long pencil skirt with a dark purple blouse, four inches dark purple stilettos with white strips on them and a bow that had a dark shade of purple from were it starts and as the purple continues the purple became less and less dark, by the end of the bow it was a light purple.
I took out a white blazer but didn't put it on, with a black hand bag with white on it.
Then I packed my things and left my room and headed for breakfast.
Going down the stairs and I could hear Katie and Luke arguing and I was about to make a run for it to the door when I heard that they are Arguing about me.
So I went in.
Naturally
"How can you defend him, Shay said yes after how long he said he was waiting?"
"Katie when Shay has no problem, what is yours!"
Luke sounded exhausted.
"My problem is that she is my sister, why are you not mad for her?"
Katie's anger seeming to increase.
"And both of you are stupid for fight about something that is none of your business"
I finally said something, placing my bag on the island of the kitchen.
"What Liam did was to me, not Luke so why are you trying to start a fight with him?"
I said as I poured myself a cup of coffee, smiling and closing my eyes as I took the first sip.
Almost miss this because of a them.
Sheesh.
"I'm sorry Katie, but for once your husband is right."
Luke gave me a small appreciation smile.
"I don't want to know what or why he stood me up, he is not the only guy and he showed me I was ready to date"
I said taking a plate and towering it with food, I set with my cup and plate and ate while the two love birds also ate in silence.
I could tell Katie was upset, but she knew I was right but she didn't like it.
"Katie don't stress so much,you only spoiling your mood"
I said with a small smile to reassure her that I was fine.
I was fine.
Honestly....
We finished eating and I took my things and kissed Katie on the cheek.
"Tell my spider monkey to make my bed when she wakes up"
I shouted for Katie as Luke and I went out the door.
We drove most of the way in silence until Luke spoke.
"I'm sorry for the way
Liam handled everything, it's shameful really"
He said shaking his head, I just gave a small chuckle and shook my own head slightly.
"I don't understand why you not mad at him you know. I expected it"
He gave me a fleeting glance before his eyes went back to the road.
"You expected it? From me?. I can understand you saying Katie or Ave but me?"
I'm a calm person.
I was, honestly...
I said and I couldn't even hold back my laugh, he joined me in my laughter.
"Yes Katie does get upset I will give you that and your sister Ave is just plain crazy. But you, you blow a gasket always and you never miss a beat"
I couldn't stop laughing, and what he said about Ave was so true. I even had her checked once and that made her even madder.
I can't be the only mentally challenged in this family
After the laugh died he asks again.
"So why ain't you?"
"Because Luke I have no right to be angry at Liam."
He glanced at me then back to the road.
"And why you say that?"
Luke asked with his eyebrows furrowing and a worried expression.
"Because he was never mine in the first place"
I said almost too proudly at my own explanation.
Luke snorted at my answer, and shook his head.
"That doesn't make sense what so ever"
"It does. He was not close to me, he was your friend. I didn't know him, we didn't form a bond. Only the ones I love and close to can evoke a reaction. He is none of those things, so I have no right because he was never mine."
I said in one breath,
That's just how I was, me being angry at him would have to mean he meant a great deal to me.
He did though
But he didn't, I might have liked him but not enough to have the right to be mad at him.
I am though, but shhhh
"I'm more embarrassed really"
I said facing my window at other passing cars, I coulf feel Luke's gaze on me.
But I didn't even chance a look at him, I was tired of being pitted.
"That's just the thing Shay, he became your person that day in my office, and you his on my wedding day."
He said this in a soft voice and I wanted to scream at him
You don't know who my people are.
But it would have sounded stupid and childish, so for the first time in my life I bit my tongue.
From there on the ride was quiet.
**
My day went without any problems until a call from Liam's assistant made my heart stop and kick start like a war horse.
The intercom deeps.
"Yes Becky"
"Shay there's a call on line one. She says she is Mr Liam's assistant"
I took a breath, I don't know why I was reacting this way to hear from his assistant.
It's not like it's him
Well it's not like I like like the guy.
Bullshit
"Put her through."
I pressed line one and took the phone receiver to my ear.
"Shay Williams speaking"
"Ms Williams, this is Mr Ronan's assistant Linda smith. I'm calling on behalf of Mr Ronan."
"What can I do for you Ms Smith?"
"I was asked to speak to you in regards of Mrs Ronans party,
He will like you to postpone it for a few months!"
I took out the party planning book, opening it and going to the dates.
"And when would he like to have the party?"
Already sensing the hustle of changing everything, I knew my pissy stuff will start complaining.
"He is not sure just when it will be happening!"
"Now Ms how am I to plan a party without a date?"
My time came out far more rude then I had intended, she was after all the closest thing to Liam for me to be rude too.
"I'm sorry Ms Shay but that's what Mr Ronan said but he did say he will inform you when he has a date"
That word pulled a cord in me, thinking of the first date I was supposed to have after 5 years of Nick's death.
Child, get over it.
Date date date
I took a deep breath, composed not only my heart and conscious but anger at the Audacity of the man and scolded myself for being rude to his assistant.
"Okay Ms Smith no problem, but do inform me on time, I don't want any last minute dates"
"That Ms Shay will be up to Mr Ronan"
Damn it, she makes it so hard.
I wanted to scream, but instead..
"Well then please do rely my massage!"
My voice tight as I forced out some much needed professionalism.
"Will do. Enjoy the rest of your day"
Her tone trough out stayed the same even as mine didn't.
Damn she's good.
"Thank you, you too Ms Smith"
Hanging up the phone, I groaned out loud and I placed my hands on the table and placed my head on my arms.
"This guy"
I whispered, I couldn't believe the work he's put on me.
Why did he have to be my trouble, I knew I exaggerated but still.
Just only thinking about the phone calls I had to make.
I straightened up and opened the book on the invitation list with phone numbers on it.
Before you ask why I didn't just sent them all an email- yea, so damn easy like that- Liam wanted it so. Any changes happening with the party should be relayed via call to all guest.
Now with the change of dates, I'm sure you can guess where I'm going with this.
So..
I started dialing the first name.
I sighed to myself.
Here goes nothing
It took almost the whole afternoon for me to call all the people, even after dividing it between me, Cindy and Becky.
Why did Rich people invite so much people?
I stood up with a groan from my chair, honestly sitting is not good for you.
After a little stretching I went to the break room to get some needed coffee and to stretch my legs, on my way I bumped into Luke.
"Shay, what happened to you?"
He asked with his eyes a little bit wide and searching my face, for what?
I looked horrible, yes but come on moguy
I scrunched up my nose at him.
"Lunch, I waited. It's been two hours"
I looked at my wrist watch and saw it was around 3:30, I groaned a little as I could only now feel how hungry I'd gotten without noticing.
"I'm sorry, I had a lot of phone calls and I forgot."
I said feeling my mind continually tire from all the calls as I touch my forehead and looking up at look but dropped my hand when I saw the way he was looking at me.
The kind of glare I gave him was something to be remembered from my high school days.
I understood, I just didn't like.
How many times do I have to I'm fine.
Because I am.
Honestly..
"No problem, let's go in"
He said and just started walking, we went inside his office and set at the desk, surprisingly the food still warm.
We were having Nandos today, rice and all the side salads with the grilled chicken.
I could feel myself drooling, and Luke chuckles at my drooling.
We started eating in silence, my mind on the work that needed to be done from the dateless party.
And I then realized how lonely I was, now with Ronan gone, he made me realize how lonely I've been all these years.
"I'm sorry Shay for what happened last night, it truly wasn't right"
Luke said breaking me from my train of thought.
"Don't start with this again Luke, I don't understand why you all getting upset about me getting stood up."
I said really confused about their reaction, Yea sure I've not dated anyone In 5 years but it was not as big as they made it to be.
Apart from the last guy I loved, died.
I was fine, honestly..
"Shay you don't get it do you?"
I looked at him confused and shook my head no.
"No I don't understand."
I wanted to roll my eyes but the look he gave me stopped me.
"Shay your sisters use to cry thinking you'd never come out of the dark place you were in, in the last few years. They feared you'd die alone."
He said his voice sounding sad, I nodded. I knew it was a dark place that I was in, I came out without even realizing I was climbing out.
Sometimes if you stay in the darkness for to long, you don't even realize it when you step into the light.
That's how I was, and now that I saw the light, and I was starting to live again. And I wouldn't have done it without my sisters and Luke.
"I was never alone though Luke, and that's why I was able to come out of that dark place"
I said giving him a small smile, I was never alone. Not with them there with me.
There were nights I felt like I could die and would be at peace, but then one of my sisters would come and lay down on my bed next to me and just held me.
And for me always, it was like a direction to my salvation.
Or when I would be forced to bath that day and out of bed, and Luke would sit with me and talk even though I wasn't mentally present, he didn't mind though, he continued talking and even laughed at his own jokes.
That's what pulled me through then, so I was never alone.
"I have you guys,you all I need. Even though I did realize after Liam stood me up that I am kinda lonely. But even if I never find someone, I will always have my family."
Luke grinned, looking years younger.
"So what I'm hearing is that you ready for dating?"
I couldn't help but laugh at his question
"Really, that's what you heard?"
I couldn't help the laugh that's bubbled out of me.
"But yes I am ready to date."