It's been a few weeks now since Ronan left me high and dry and no promises of coming back.
Okay I'm kidding but, look at me calling him Ronan.
Cue eye roll to myself.
I've heard nothing from his people but I knew when they have a date for me they would call., so I waited.
It was a beautiful Friday-afternoon during May, sunny but partly cloudy and a slit breeze and I had just finished eating lunch with Cindy when a knock drew my attention to the door, Luke came in with a file and a serious expression to accompany his intimidating form.
"I promise I didn't do it, if theres evidence I did it, It will never happen again"
I said with my hands in the air in mock surrender, Luke chuckled while he shook his head, losing the serious expression.
"Don't worry you not in trouble, I have an important event for you and your team"
He threw the file down on my desk and I wasted no time opening it.
I couldn't help but gasp as my eyes widened at what I held.
"Are you shitting me?"
My eyes going from the file then going back to Luke.
I couldn't believe it, even if I was seeing it but is was so surreal.
"But Luke I just got here, What about the people whom have been here longer?"
I didn't feel like I deserved it to be honest, for him to give me this kind of honor and organize the company annual ball?.
Luke always took it upon himself to organize the ball, every year since he started the company and he would always pick his own team, different people every year. So it was a pretty big deal, I just didn't understand why he'd pick me to do it, yet I knew I couldn't pass the opportunity.
"You right but none of them are you or are even remotely ready to handle it"
I could cry right there, for this was the best thing since I started working.
"Luke I won't let you down I promise you"
I said as I stood and gave him a big hug.
It was a dream come true to do the annual ball, ever since I witnessed one of Luke's planning and attended the yearly event.
"I know you won't"
He hugged me back.
He left right after and the ideas just started flowing.
I went to my bookshelf and took out a new party planning book, told Becky to call everyone to conference room 1 and tell them that we had a new project.
Since the Ronan party was now officially on hold, I had time to plan the ball and not be interrupted.
Thank you Ronan
I walked in the conference room with all of my team seated and I went to take my seat and Becky was gonna take the minutes as she walked in behind me.
"Afternoon everyone, we have one of the biggest events of the year this company host every year."
I paused just for the dramatic effect raising my hands and a smug face.
"The annual ball"
A few gasps were heard through out the room, faces adorned with surprise and joy, the whole team was over the moon as they cheered.
High fiving each other while I couldn't stop my own glee as they cheered.
"Okay I know we all excited, But settle down"
I said with a soft chuckle, I knew if I didn't stop them they wouldn't stop with the celebrations.
They all settled down but they still had awe smiles adorning their faces.
"Now this is very important and I'll only expect perfection from everyone."
I took out my note pad and opened my laptop.
"So Dalisu for now, I need you to handle the entertainment.
Dadi you in charge of all rentals.
Candy and Lucy will be in charge of the Deco and Peter you will be doing the coordinating"
I said writing down every detail, I then looked up and Lucy had her eyes on me already.
I already knew what she was after.
"And Lucy you will also be in charge of the fashion expect of the ball, just don't go over board, you know how Luke and Katie hate dramatic things"
She didn't say anything, she just rolled her eyes at me and she went back to what she was doing.
"Ok people lets brain storm"
I said clapping my hands.
We worked for 5hours straight , the team brought a lot of great ideas but none were to my satisfaction.
"Come on guys, this can not be the best you can do!"
I said throwing my hands up in frustration.
I could already feel the stress headache turning into a migraine.
Huffing I took my notepad and laptop.
"Knockout time, we will continue this tomorrow . And please people bring me something better"
I walked out and headed straight for my office.
I couldn't believe I was gonna fail this before I started.
How can I fail so soon.
I groaned and slumped on my chair with my eyes close.
Perhaps I was expecting to much from my team, I mean it's not like it was the biggest ball of the year.
"Aaaaarg"
I groaned again.
I needed to calm down, I couldn't continue like this. I could feel my heart beating a thousand miles a minute, the temperature in the room getting hotter and thinner.
I grabbed my hand bag and my phone and stalked to Luke's office and knocked on the door and soon after a faint come in filled my ears.
Pushing the door I stepped in and saw he was with a unfamiliar gentleman
"Luke, I didn't know you had company"
I said closing the door, it's not like I'm here to stay anywhere. Might as well state my business and leave.
"No it's okay. Meet my college friend, Ron Douglas"
I shook his head as he shook mine.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance sir"
"The pleasure is all mine"
I pulled my hand away and turned to Luke.
"I'm sorry had I known you were busy, I would have taken a cab"
All of a sudden I felt shy speaking to Luke in front of his college friend whom I didn't not know.
This is important, not him.
Priorities.
"Were are you going?"
Well for a few weeks now I've been taking Luke's car once in a while to drive to the cemetery but none of them knew.
They don't need to know.
Because it's all fine, I'm fine.
Honestly..
I was not hiding it I just didn't want them giving me pitiful looks.
It all started when I got stood up, well some people may say that. But that's not what I'm saying.
Cause I'm fine remember.
Just because something happens in close proximity of another does not mean they connected.
Yea, sure.
"Can I borrow your car keys?"
I dismissed his question like every time I came and asked for his car keys.
And he never pushed, and I do realize he could just track the car but I was grateful he didn't.
He took his keys from the desk and handed them to me.
"I think I should get my own car now"
I said mostly to myself then to Luke.
"I think I can help with that, I own a car dealership"
Mr Douglas said, I had completely forgotten that he was even here.
I turned and look at him in puzzlement
"A car, you said you need one. I can get you a good deal on a car, if you don't mind of cause"
I shook my head with a small smile.
"No not at all."
I said turning to Luke
"I must run, and thanks"
With that I took my leave but when I get to the door I heard Ron say.
"Ok either she hates me or she doesn't like people"
And he said something more but I closed the door and moved on to the elevators.
Priorities
Sanity or polite?
Sanity wins
But I'm fine.
Honestly..
My mind was just on my destination, I hated it when I would get like this and the only place that calmed me was the cemetery.
I refused to see how fucked up that was, since it was currently my safe space and lacked judgment and pity.
The habit of going down there was during my darkest times right after the funeral, but it seemed I have reverted to it once again.
Work could be a factor and being lonely is an additional factor, maybe that's why I didn't tell my family, I just go once in a while, oh who am I kidding. I go every week.
I just didn't want to worry them or have them telling me I couldn't go to work, specially with this new big project we've been given.
I got into the elevator and it goes down, I got to the underground parking and made it to Luke's car.
I was already feeling antsy to get there, and get rid of the loneliness I felt and pent up energy coursing through my veins.
I drove in silence as my own thoughts drowned me and my chest tightened from everything flooding me.
My brain was everywhere, one minute I was thinking about the project and the next I was thinking about Nickolas and the kids and then God forbid I even thought about Liam.
It's his fault I'm like this.
But I'm fine, honestly..
I finally made it to the cemetery and when I got there, there was a boy of about maybe 10 or 11 years sitting in front of Nick's grave.
As I got closer my foot snapped on a root and he turned and looked at my direction and he stood up immediately and started running away.
"Hi, wait up. Who are you?"
I started chasing after him, for some reason when I saw him and he turned I felt a strange feeling that I could not place. It was warm, inviting and pure, which was strange because I didn't know the boy.
I only saw him for a second, how can I feel like I know him?
But I felt it and the boy was too fast because when I got to the gates he had disappeared into the streets.
"Who was that?"
I can't even begin to fathom what just happened, I decide to let it be and do what I came here to do. But my mind couldn't help linger on the boy.
Just one more think to linger on, wonderful.