I grab a beer and stumble into a room
We're two friends of Star are making out
Cheerleader galore in here
I'm down I lock the door
There heads just look at me
I know the song in the background
It must be playing just for me
The lyrics are on repeat in my head
"I made a lot of mistakes
You've been there for the whole thing
Help me with the drama
Rapping in the car outside daily
We don't care if it's the winter
We don't care if its the summer
I remember writing raps with the curse words
I just wanna hear it
It seems like everybody does it
Did it for awhile wasn't into all the cussin'
Trying to find who I was
Being everything I wasn't
Real life yeah
Gotta lot of anger"
NF notepad
I wake up
There is two naked bitches on each arm
I climb up
Find my clothes get dressed walked out to the bathroom
I have hickeys all over my neck
Yup great
I walk out of the room
Star is standing there
"Well it looks like one of us had a great night"
She starts to fucking walk away from
Me
And i don't know if it my hormones but I grab her in the bathroom
"Stop Ash"
But I can't stop now
This snug dress with her sweater own
I pin her against the wall
I'm kissing her
Enjoying every taste
Because I know it's not going to last
She pushes me and touches her lips
"You can't do that you just fucked two girls
Friends of mine
I don't want your mouth near me"
But I move closer
But I'm blacking the bathroom door
" you can't just kiss me and expect me to crumble"
" but I see you crumbling cause when I kiss and touch you your whole body responded to me
You want me just as bad as I want you"
She is looking at me and then she is looking at the door she moves toward the door
But I block her and lift her on the counter
I pull her sweater off
I'm biting her neck
She is moaning in my ear
I bit harder
She is pulling me closer
I'm pulling at her dress
"Wh-wait" she pushes me back
"Please don't stop me my love
I need to taste you
I need to feel you I need to cum to you"
She starts to cry
"I can't do that with you if you wanted me you would of showed me you would of worked for me
But you didn't so I moved on
You should to"
I want to stop her
want to tell I'll do anything for her
But she is right I can't
I lost her
And I let her just go
Just like that
I come home walk upstairs
And I plop on my bed
That purple journal staring at me
I open to the middle
And she wrote
I love her
But I am lonely
I don't care how bad she treats me
It makes me feel alive
I don't want to tell her
I can't find the words
To say I am no longer living inside
Although I feel here
I can't place my heart to hers
I have to end my misery
I need to leave this earth
Because not even her love can save me
I close the book
And hide it in my drawer
I'm broken even more