August 15/93
I just woke up about 25 min ago.
It's 1:51 pm. Ugh. I was up way too late! I couldn't sleep at all.
I couldn't stop thinking about Trevor and wouldn't you know it, I'm still thinking about him. FUCK! I thought that when he called me and said how good I looked and everything that he wanted me again or something. And when he told me he had a girlfriend, he didn't sound very excited about it so I thought there was a chance.
But to just not even acknowledge me?! Like, hello!!
And when I saw him with her all these feelings went through me. Jealousy was definitely one of them. But I can't really be jealous, I mean we talked one time. But you know it's so weird cause I thought about him like every day for the past few weeks. Ever since Marie saw him on the bus coming home from summer school and how he said he missed me and shit like that. That was when it started. Weeks before I even saw him at Taco Bell.
I used to think to myself, well he might end up coming to one of our school dances, so maybe I'll see him there and then I would proceed to promise myself that I would ask him to dance. When I saw him the other night and he said he was the one who said he had been wanting to call me, I couldn't believe it! I thought it was fated. It seemed like things were falling into place.
But then, nope.
Shit FUck shit.
I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE FUCKING THINKING ABOUT HIM HE HAS A CHICK!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
God I hate it when this happens, it's like what happened with Jesse all over again. I think he is mine one day and then the next it OVER.
JEEZUS!
Maybe he'll call today. I'll write later today and tell you.
_______
Hi, it's me. It's later and no he never called. But I miss him a lot. It's useless!! I'll just end it right here. NOT.
Man, I need to get a life.
Until Later