October 12/93
I am really in lust with Gaven. I know I could have a relationship with him. He's just one of those guys who could listen to you and try to understand all your feelings and all that kind of shit. I grow more lustful towards him every day. Let me tell ya, he is just fucking wow, okay, like, seriously. I haven't liked anyone this much since Jesse maybe even Trevor. Well HOPEFULLY something will come out of all this. AHH.
Calm down Kate.
Frick, Jesse, why'd I bring him up? Man, I miss him sometimes. I mean I see him all the time at school but it's not the same. I fell for him after Trevor and I broke up back in grade 9. He is one of the main reasons I didn't get back together with Trevor back then. We've made eye contact a few times in the halls this year but we haven't really talked at all yet. It's kinda hard not to see him every single fucking day, his locker is like, right down the hall from mine. Oh, he patted me on the head and waved, like what the fuck?
Man, I can't even get into what all went down with me and Jesse. I told you the main part about him and Jen but we were like best friends. It went on all through grade nine and ten, on and off. You know, he's just that first dude at your high school you kinda fall hardcore for and worship from a distance and then one day you think you have a chance but then they totally break your fucking heart into a million pieces. Fucking cheating, lying assholes. Why do I still think about him? I dunno. At least there are plenty of guys to keep my mind off him.
Until Later
P.S.
Sunday: Kerra's - Gaven was there asleep, I woke him up, it was cool. Me + Jen + Ray were laying on the couch, Gaven came and jumped on me and Ray. I had my hand on his leg (slickster). He had to get up after a while so I helped him with a little push on his ass. And what a nice little ass it is I might add!
Shit man I gotta just calm myself. I am calm at school but with you I can go so CRAZY!
Now seriously.
Until Later!