"Why did you bother arguing with me in the first place?" Hadrian questioned, anger rising in his voice as he looked down at Antinous. He wanted to believe that what he'd seen and heard wasn't true, but in a way he knew he couldn't let himself believe that.
Antinous's eyebrows were knit together. "What was I supposed to do? Lucius Commodus is hurting. And you're doing nothing abou-"
"-Don't go there. You don't know what happened between us, and it certainly isn't what you think it is." Hadrian interrupted, a harsher look in his eyes now. There were old memories being brought back to the surface. Ones Hadrian thought he'd already buried years ago.
"What's wrong with you?" Antinous asked. "Why won't you just go out there and comfort him?" He was seething with rage now and there was nothing holding him back. He was the only one who got to talk to Hadrian however he pleased. If anyone else did, they'd be executed where they stood.
"If you're so insistent on it, why don't you go tell Commodus that everything is going to be okay? Offer him a shoulder to cry on maybe?" Hadrian remarked snidely.
"Fine then." Antinous huffed. "Maybe I will, then maybe for once you'll have an ounce of compassion in your heart? Or maybe you'll start trying to be a good person? Who knows, maybe some people never change."
Antinous turned on his heel, stomping out of the room and out into the hall before Hadrian could reply. He wasn't the person Antinous wanted him to be. He wasn't the person Antinous wanted by his side.
He wished he could rebuild Hadrian's personality the way an artisan made his sculptures. He wished he could reshape, and remake it however he pleased. He wished he could tuck away the more vile parts of it. The parts he didn't quite like.
He wished he could take the part of Hadrian that was yelling at him and twist the ends of his mouth into a smile. Maybe then he wouldn't be like this. Maybe then he would realize how wrong he was. Maybe then Antinous could fix things. Maybe, everyone could be happy and contented for once.
Antinous wandered throughout the halls of the great building. It was only another one of Hadrian's get away homes, and it was, as he liked it, just a bit too grand. It was a bit too fancy. And a bit too much at times, but regardless, it was where they were staying until they reached Hadrian's villa. Antinous frowned, realizing that although he'd at first been excited for the new villa, he was now dreading it. He was now dreading all the time he would have to spend close to Hadrian. Especially after the fight they'd had.
Antinous ran his fingers along the side of the wall as he walked, wondering if he'd ever find Commodus with all the rooms. His toga was getting heavy, and the fabric was dipping in odd places, but he paused for a moment to adjust it.