Commodus hardly knew Antinous, aside from the fact that he was Hadrian's current lover. That was the most he knew about him, well, that and the fact that the two had been together since Antinous was an older teen. Regardless, he wanted to make sure that Antinous stayed safe. He wanted to know that the same things that happened to him didn't happen to Antinous. Although he didn't quite know how. He didn't know how to help, and it was starting to make him feel useless. It was starting to make him feel as though all he would ever be was the broken boy who couldn't do anything.
"That's good." Commodus muttered quietly. He was still trying to recover from his previous crying session. It was now that he really wished he wasn't crying at the moment. Commodus wished that his emotions would simply disappear and he wouldn't have to deal with them ever again. At least then he wouldn't have to be so ashamed of the fact that he was sitting here pouting instead of doing something useful about it. He could have been laughing and having fun at the feast but instead he was back on the boat in tears.
"Is there anything else bothering you?" Antinous asked. "I'm sorry for asking, I know it's hard for you to talk about, but I just want to figure out how to help you." He tried to sound as gentle as possible. He wanted to make sure Commodus was okay. He wanted to make sure that he ended up alright, but he didn't know how. Antinous hardly knew how to make sure that he himself got out of this whole situation with Hadrian alright.
Commodus shook his head and wiped away the last few tears from underneath his eyes. "No. No, I'm- I don't know. I think I'm going to be alright." then Antinous saw that same old sly smile on Commodus's face and he knew that he was starting to be okay again, or at least getting closer to being okay. Besides, Commodus wanted to see the look on Hadrian's face when he walked back into the room with his beloved. It would be priceless.
"Are you sure?" Antinous asked, considering how fast he'd suddenly switched from happy to pretending he was alright again, Antinous wasn't entirely convinced that Commodus was fine. But then again, it could simply be that nothing was wrong.
"No." Commodus confessed. "I'm not sure, but I think that coming back would be much better for me than staying out here on the boat." He said, his voice still had a certain timidness that wasn't usually there. And there was still a sense of sadness in his eyes, an expression that hadn't yet been wiped away.
Antinous looked down at the ground again. "If you think it would be the best idea."
Commodus nodded. "I do."
As they walked down from the boat, Antinous spotted Tobias, still sitting by the shore in search of Commodus. Tobias silently walked over, staring at the ground and lost in his own thoughts. The same look was on his face as before. It was a look of nervousness. It was a look of fear. But mainly, it was the look of someone who trapped within their own mind, caught in a spiral of dark memories.