Hadrian smiled, walking along the shore where the ship had just landed and everything was being unloaded. Of course, they'd travel off to see the construction of his villa soon but for now they had time to relax. They had time to stop worrying. Hadrian let out a long sigh. It wasn't much time he got to spend with his beloved, but for the moment it would have to do. He reached out and grabbed Antinous's hand, lancing their fingers together and tracing his thumb along the back of Antinous's hand.
"This trip is proving to be nearly more trouble than I thought it worth." He said after letting out a long sigh. "Nearly everyone needed my help today and I hardly got even a minute to sit down and rest."
"My day was the exact opposite." Antinous said. "I sat and played my lyre nearly all day."
"Must have been nice." Hadrian continued to walk along the sandy shore with him. He tried to take in as much of the moment as he could before he would have to get back to work. From the way the sun was dipping into the ocean to the way Antinous's curls bounced as he walked, Hadrian tried to memorize it all. He knew he probably shouldn't, or he would start longing for more moments like these, but Hadrian couldn't help himself. He thought poetically about everything, moments like these most of all.
"I wish you could have joined me." He said quietly. "I'm getting better than the last time you heard me play." Antinous gave a broad smile. It seemed to Hadrian that the whole world lit up when the edges of his lips turned upwards. That Antinous was somehow growing even more beautiful in his eyes. Hadrian lived for his smile. For the twinkle in his eyes. For the way he looked when, for a few brief moments, all the darkness had vanished. When everything else had slipped away and there was nothing more than just him and Antinous.
"I'd love to hear you play sometime." Hadrian said softly. "Perhaps tonight?" He suggested.
"If you're free?"
Hadrian nodded. "I don't intend on working tonight. Even an emperor needs a bit of rest at times." As they kept walking along the shore, Hadrian couldn't help but admire both the view and the smile on Antinous's face. It was a beautiful place, although it looked nothing like Rome. In a way it looked even more beautiful than Rome, with its vibrant sunsets and strange new religions and peoples. Then Hadrian remembered that later on in the week he would have to eventually meet up with a nearby cult, they'd seemed peaceful when he'd spoken with the leader, and when he'd invited Hadrian and a few of his generals to a feast, he'd been quite delighted. It was a good sign, after all. It meant that they were one other foreign group who wouldn't become enemies of Rome. However, he wished he didn't have to attend. In fact, he wished he could spend all the time in the world alone with Antinous instead, but he knew this wasn't possible.
"Do you want to sit down? There's only so much further we can keep walking." Antinous pointed out, pulling Hadrian out of his thoughts.
Hadrian sat down, using an arm to prop himself up. Antinous sat down beside him and laid his head down on Hadrian's shoulder. Hadrian played with his curls, gently brushing his fingers through the young boy's hair. They were both at ease. Antinous's eyes slowly fluttered closed. Hadrian watched the gentle rise and fall of his companions chest, wondering which of the gods had decided to bestow upon him the work of divinity that he knew as Antinous.Which of them had given to him this small miracle, who he had found in a small village in Bithynia.
Antinous's thoughts were starting to get the best of him. He imagined what might happen to him when he started growing old and ugly. He wondered in the emperor would love him just the same even when he reached manhood. Although he already knew the answer he didn't really want to believe it. He didn't really want to believe that he might one day end up discarded and lost like the rest of Hadrian's old lovers but he didn't know what else to believe. He'd seen the wreck Hadrian left people in, and he didn't want the same thing to happen to him.
"We'll have to be seeing Sabina soon. She's to be meeting us once we reach the villa." Hadrian said, breaking the once peaceful silence.
"I thought you disliked your wife?"
"I do." Hadrian sighed. "And she dislikes me just the same, but that doesn't mean that we don't have to uphold some of the expectations Rome seems to place upon us."
"Why did you marry her in the first place?" Antinous asked, now intrigued to hear more.
"It was an arranged marriage. And a political one. She was Trajan's niece, and all of Rome loved Trajan. Of course it made sense to marry her, if I was ever planning on maintaining my place on the throne."
"You could have at least found someone you could tolerate." Antinous scoffed.
Hadrian nearly laughed. "I don't have to tolerate her. When I can be with you nothing makes a difference to me. I'll always be content as long as you're here." Antinous blushed at the compliment, his normally rosy cheeks turning a darker red. Antinous buried his face in Hadrian's chest, hiding the fact that all his blood was rushing to his face. He was flustered, even after all the years he'd spent being Hadrian's favourite, it was strange the way he still somehow managed to make him blush, to make his cheeks turn a hue darker than they were before. Hadrian looked down and admired Antinous's beauty. He wished that they could stay like that forever. He wished they could remain in that single moment, laying there, on the sandy shore for the rest of their lives. Hadrian wanted his whole life to be comprised of moments like these.
But things could never stay perfect forever.
They couldn't stay on that beach forever.
And besides, it was time for the evening's feast to begin.