The next morning, waking up beside Hadrian did not feel right to Antinous. It never felt right of course. But nothing ever did.
"Morning." Hadrian greeted, his voice still sounding coarse from having just woken up. Antinous leaned his head against his chest, listening to the sound of his deep breathing. Lately, Hadrian had been having problems with his lungs and heart, but this morning the air was fresh and the Emperor had not yet begun wearing himself out, as he did most days. Hadrian smiled, quietly admiring the way the sunlight reflected off Antinous's soft curls. Hadrian combed his fingers through his hair, smoothing out his long curls.
"Good morning." Antinous replied, enjoying the calmness of the situation. A small smile graced his lips. His eyes fluttered open, then closed again, adjusting to the sudden light flowing in through the window.
Hadrian looked down at him, trying to take in every bit of the moment. Attempting to memorize every inch of his lover's gentle features. Recognizing, (although not for the first time) that every part of Antinous appeared to be a divine gift of sorts. From the curves of his lips, to his rosy cheeks, he was exquisite. From the very top of his head and all the way down to the tips of his toes, every part of him was perfect. Hadrian stared for what could perhaps be considered just a bit too long before he finally got up, swinging his legs out over the edge of their bed.
"May I help with your toga?" Antinous asks, sitting up on the bed, still half asleep. Hadrian chuckles at the way his hair sticks up and kisses the top of his head.
"I think you'd better go back to sleep." He runs a hand through Antinous's unruly curls. Hadrian can't help but shake the concern he feels for him, remembering when he walked in on him with tear stained cheeks just last night. But seeing the small smile that seems to have graced his lips this morning reassures him just a little. "Besides," Hadrian adds. "The slaves typically aid me. Although there is little they do that I couldn't do myself." He stands tall, stretching for a few moments before reaching over to grab his toga. He draped the fabric across his shoulders and back, making sure that there was neither too little, nor too much fabric draping over.
Antinous smiled at him, and how elegant, yet strong he looked. Slowly, his eyelids began to feel heavier and heavier as Antinous fell back to sleep. Hadrian turned back to face him, watching the calmness and tranquility on his face, so different than the constant panic and worry that Hadrian had been noticing lately. He didn't know what was going on with Antinous, and he also didn't want to force Antinous to tell him what was wrong, but Hadrian had to admit that he was worried. Especially after he'd seen him crying last night. At the very least he could be reassured that whatever it was that was bothering him at least wasn't affecting his sleep. Hadrian walked out onto the ship's deck to greet his fellow soldiers and guards. It was early in the morning, but it was time to get to work.
A dream that started out peaceful began to turn into a nightmare. The images working their way through Antinous's mind were growing more and more nerve wrecking. His heart pounded so loudly in his chest it could have been heard from across the room, and anyone who heard the rhythmic noise would have thought that someone was pounding on a large drum. He tossed and turned in the sheets, thrashing about as his body broke out into a sweat. His mind was attacking him from all sides and the walls he used to protect himself were breaking down. He was breaking down.
Out on the deck of the boat, Hadrian made his rounds, checking to make sure that everything was going to plan and that no one needed his help, as often was not the case. Lately, it seemed that his legions were beginning to get soft, and seemed to need help with nearly everything. Hadrian worried that perhaps he was a bit too easy on them. He worried that if he didn't start being harsher with his legions there would be just a few too many battles lost, and a few too little battles won.
"Emperor," Hadrian turns to face a young soldier. He carried a few sheets of papyrus in his hands and a writing utensil. "The general is requesting that you look over these documents." He handed the documents over to Hadrian, who quickly skimmed over some of the writing. It was for the punishment of a soldier who was caught stealing from his general.
"Tell the general that I will get these documents back to him by tomorrow." Hadrian stated and the soldier ran off to get back to his duties.
He continued making his way throughout the ship, trying to make sure that everyone was on task and the ship was still on course. He took a deep breath for a few moments, enjoying the cool ocean air. Soon enough they'd arrive at his villa and he could take some time for himself to relax just a little bit. But at the moment he had to make sure that the trip was all going according to plan. Tivoli was not far off if only they could make it there.
"Is there anything I may help you with?" A tall blonde slave asked him. Hadrian turned to face him. He looked about Antinous's age, although he didn't have quite as good a complexion as the Emperor's companion.
"And who might you be?" Hadrian spoke. The slave was just short enough that Hadrian had to look down in order to speak to him.
"Tobias. You brought me along to help Antinous, but I'm afraid he's still resting at the moment." Tobias replied, eager to work for someone who didn't beat him, or work him to near death.
"Help me adjust my toga." Hadrian asked, to which Tobias simply nodded, and reached out to help fix the complicated folds in the back from where the fabric was growing too heavy and too hot, especially on a warm day such as this. Tobias's slender fingers fixed the toga perfectly back into place, although Hadrian knew it would only need another adjustment later on in the day.
Could you go back to my bedchamber and check on Antinous? I'm sure you'll be needed as soon as he wakes up." Hadrian gave a small smile to the slave before returning about his business.
Tobias walked back to the bedroom and stood outside the door. He wasn't quite sure what to do. He hadn't been in slavery for very long. In fact, it was only a few years since he'd been sold into slavery to pay his family's debt. Their business had been losing money for years and he knew that if he didn't do something, and do it fast, there would be no hope left for his family. He smiled at the thought of his little brother, who would now get the chance for a proper education and the chance to read and write. It was something that Tobias dreamed of when he was younger, but helping his father sell items in the forum.