"I thought we're gonna have to start the plan," bulong ko dito. I assumed na didiretso kami sa restroom pero natigilan naman kami sa pinakagitna.
"It's too early for that. Don't excite yourself. Just enjoy the remaining minutes," saad naman niya pabalik, "Did you really use the restroom earlier, Serenity?" nagsalubong naman ang kilay ko bago tumango dahil sa naging tanong nito. Was he having doubts about it?
"Yes," mabilis kong sagot at ibinaling ang atensyon sa paligid para titigan ang iba pang bisita.
"Seems not," ibinalik ko ang tingin sa kanya at napansin kong tinitignan din niya ang mga bisita hanggang sa muling mapako ang tingin namin sa isa't isa, "It took you that long?" I don't want him to feel suspicious just because of what happened earlier but I can't tell him the truth.
"I don't believe you at all," sabay ngiti nito ng masama at ibinaling ang tingin sa ibang direksyon.
"Well, you don't have to believe me. Hindi naman kita pinipilit," alam kong hindi niya inaasahan ang naging sagot ko kaya naging seryoso siya. Those serious eyes of him were enough for me to say for myself to 'just shut up, Gale.' Hindi na ako matutuwa na sagut-sagutin pa siya.
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," mas lalong natahimik ang lahat nang may magsalita naman sa harap habang nakatutok sa kanya ang nag-iisang spotlight, "Tonight is a very spectacular night as we highlight the man behind this huge and wonderful event. Masquarade has been used in various events to show beauty behind tranquility. That's why this party is to show beauty behind a peaceful yet meaningful deeds of a real man who desires the best for his people. This day is not just a special day for our dear Senator Philip Alcazar... " tinignan pa ng emcee ang direksyon ni Philip kaya ngumiti sa kanya ang senador at bahagya pang itinaas ang hawak nitong wine.
Simula nang makita ko siya ay wala itong humpay sa pag-inom ng wine. He's addicted to it, "But also a special day for celebrating his milestone as the senate's most achiever and advocator of 2020 in Gawad Program for children's charity. Let's all give our dear senator a round of applause!" nagpalakpakan naman ang lahat habang may ngiti sa mga labi.
And as the senator's loving wife, conformity is all I got to make this work. I had to adjust unwillingly, formally clapping with everyone happily.
"Marami ng natulungan ang ating pinakamamahal na senador kaya ating masasabi na isa siya sa mga maaaring maging modelo ng ating bansa. Right here at this moment, we have to choose wise and deserving leaders similarly like him. This party is for him that's why may I ask our dearest Senator to please take the spotlight for the commencement of this grand ball? I'm sure that everyone is waiting for this moment to take a break from their respective works and enjoy their remaining hours of luxury and enjoyment."
Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya habang pumapalakpak at tila wala siyang balak na magsalita sa harapan. We were all waiting for him but he just smiled and shook his head. Sumenyas naman ito kaya natigilan ang lahat, "As much as I want to, I know that it's too soon for everyone. Let us all celebrate first. For now, let's start the party!" sabay taas nito sa hawak niyang wine glass.
"As the senator pronounced, what are we all waiting for? Let us start the party!!!" masayang sambit ng emcee hanggang sa mamatay lahat ng ilaw.
Bigla namang nagliwanag na ikinabigla naming lahat. Various and colorful dancing lights filled the whole place. Muling tumapat ang isang spotlight sa gitna kaya napatabi kami nang may nagpatugtog ng isang masayang musika. Isang babae at lalaki ang pumunta sa gitna hanggang sa mag-umpisa silang sumayaw.
Through the upbeat and fast music, movements of their couple dance step, I could say that they were dancing 'tango'. Bilib na bilib ang lahat dahil sa pagsayaw nilang dalawa. They were glistening in the middle of the party na tila silang dalawa lang ang tao at wala ng iba.
After their performance, another couple performed 'salsa'. I never thought that my loving husband could prepare something like this dahil ngayon niya lang ito ginawa. I think he has a purpose for doing all of this... and it will always involve his good image for sure.
The third performer were Americans. I could tell their ethnicity through their faces and I even more identified them when they started a 'bachata' dance. Surely, they were Latin Americans. The music was just sensual and perhaps relaxing.
Nag-umpisa nang magusap-usap ang mga tao habang ang iba ay abala sa pagpili ng kakainin. Other partners were dancing in the middle when the music turned romantic and pleasing. I guess this is really the purpose of the party... formality. At syempre, hindi mo matatanggal ang mga mayayamang ipinagmamalaki ang mga suot nilang damit at alahas particularly ladies, while men were busy discussing about business, politics and a slice of life genre I think.
Mawawalan ba ng kausap si 'Mr. Radcliffe?'. Of course no, kulang na lang ay pagpilaan na nila siya parang lang makausap. Nakukuha niya ang atensyon ng lahat.
"Very well," magalang na sagot nito bago siya tinalikuran ng kausap niya.
"Starving?" I was busy observing around kaya muli ko siyang tinanong nang tila marinig ko ang boses nito, "What?" binalingan ko siya ng tingin.
"I am asking you if you're starving?" paglilinaw niya kaya umiling ako habang abala sa pagmamasid.
"Not at all."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, no worries," nang mapagtanto ko na lang, ibinalik kong muli ang tingin sa kanya.
Why is he so concern?
"You don't have to pretend as a concern husband. Wala ka na namang kausap," mahina kong saad sabay kuha ng isang cocktail mula sa tray na dala-dala ng isang lalaking dumaan sa tapat ko. Uminom ako mula dito at bahagyang napapikit.
Papalapit ng papalapit ang oras, kinakabahan ako kaya kailangan ko ng pampakalma.
"You think I'm pretending all the time?" natigilan ako sa pag-inom at napako ang tingin sa kanya na diretso ang tingin sa akin.
Seriously, why is he doing this?
Tila nanginig naman ako sa sinabi niya, "H-hindi ba?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
Totoo bang concern talaga siya? Yung pinagbubuksan niya ako ng pintuan sa kotse? Yung hinalikan niya yung kamay ko? Nung hawakan niya ng mahigpit ang kamay at baywang ko? How about those? All this time, I've been having doubts about his act of kindness. Totoo ba ang lahat ng 'yon o palabas lang?
Napatingin siya sa hawak ko at huli na nang mapansin ko na kusa ko itong nabitawan. Instead of reaching the ground and shattering the glass, it didn't happen.
Nakita ko na lang na hawak na niya ito. To say it exactly, sinalo niya. Napatingin ako sa kamay niya na hawak ang baso bago ibinalik ang tingin mismo sa kanya.
He was directly staring at me though he was holding something.
May dumaan na lalaki sa tapat namin kaya ipinatong niya doon ang baso at lumapit sa akin, "You know how to dance?"
"What?" tanong ko. Hindi naman ako nakapagtanong pa ulit nang hilain niya ako papunta sa gitna kung saan may mga sumasayaw na ibang bisita.
Natigilan ako sa paglalakad nang mahagip ng paningin ko ang magaling kong ama at si tita Mercedes. Sumasayaw silang dalawa at parehong may ngiti mula sa mga labi. As if I don't know their desire for one another. I shifted my gaze to another direction when I caught sight of my husband dancing with another lady... Natasia.
If you're gonna ask if I feel hurt because of jealousy, well you're wrong. It actually hurts seeing your family who is also your murderers doing fine and celebrating life even without you. Parang wala lang sa kanila ang pagpatay na ginawa nila sa akin.
There was no guilt nor conscience from their eyes. It was in fact full of satisfaction and happiness. These monsters... I will never forgive them for what they did to me at sisiguraduhin kong pagsisisihan nila ang araw ng pagpatay nila sa akin.
I will do whatever it takes to drag them down.
A tear from my eyes was about to drip down not until when he held my hand kaya napatingin ako dito at nabigla sa ginawa niya, "You're too nervous. Senyora won't like it," saad niya.
Dahan-dahan niyang itinaas ang kamay ko at inilagay sa isang balikat niya. While his other hand intertwined our fingers. Pagkatapos noon ay hinawakan ng isa niyang kamay ang baywang ko kaya napalapit ako sa kanya. Then I just found my own body dancing with him unexpectedly.
"Don't look," nabaling ang buong atensyon ko sa sinambit nito kaya nagkatinginan kami, "Focus on me," mas lalo akong kinabahan sa sinabi niya ngunit sumunod na lang ako at tumango.
"If you don't have a wife right now, who could be the other lady?" bigla kong tanong. Hindi na rin namin nakikita ang isa't isa dahil inilapit ko ang mukha sa kanya, sapat na upang mailapit ang bibig ko sa tainga niya dahil nagbubulungan lang kami.
I just wanted to focus in our conversation because I know that he's doing all of this to make me feel calm which is somehow effective.
"My wife will always be her," hindi ko naman inakala na sasagutin niya ang tanong ko.
"Sometimes, I'm wondering kung bakit hindi ka ganito kay Erin? As a wife of a loving senator, I could love my husband if he was like you and so do Erin na may asawang katulad mo. If you're really this gentleman, bakit hindi mo magawa sa kanya? Unless you're just acting gentle," napangiti ako sa mismong itinuran ko, "Hope you don't mind."
I witnessed how cold their married life is. And those type of relationship are fragile. They might break anytime even though they love one another that much.
"If my wife was as innocent as you, I would have no problem. The problem is just between the two of us so I won't answer your question. I love her as much as I love my family so I have to accept her flaws. That's it."
"For someone like me who grew up in a broken family, I want to say that if you don't want to lose her, at least try to fix your relationship. Hindi naman sa nakikielam ako but you have a child. She must be your first and foremost consideration. Sometimes child could fix their parents' relationship pero bata pa si Melody. She can't do it so as her father, you should."
"You're a good adviser, huh?" there are things that we can easily say to others yet can't apply on our own, right? Napangiti na lang ako at alam kong ganon din siya.
"But I can't advise myself," sagot ko naman, "Salamat din pala."
"For what?" tanong niya.
"For showing concern and sincerity since we left the mansion," although I cannot confirm if you were pretending or not, I am still thankful.
"Calm already?"
Pinakiramdaman ko muna ang sarili ko ng ilang segundo at napapikit. Inhale, exhale, before I decided to speak, "Yes."
"Shall we start?"
"I think it's time," napangiti naman ako ng masama kaya binitawan ko siya at inunahan na siya sa pag-alis. We're currently heading our way to the restroom at alam kong nasa likuran ko siya't nakasunod sa akin. Before we went straight there, sinigurado naming dalawa na wala ng iba pang nakakita sa amin.
Since the party has just started, abala ang lahat kaya wala kaming nadatnan sa ladies and men's restroom. We stopped and faced one another for a moment, "I'll wait for you here," sambit nito. Tumango ako bago siya tinalikuran. Pagpasok ko sa loob, isa-isa kong tinignan ang bawat cubicle para siguraduhin na walang iba pang tao bukod sa akin.
Tinignan ko ang sarili ko sa salamin at huminga ng malalim. Tandang-tanda ko ang plano kaya hindi na ako nagsayang pa ng oras. Dahan-dahan kong itinaas ang isang kamay papunta sa ribbon ng suot kong itim na gown na maayos pang itinali ni Xenia kanina. Hinila ko 'yon para luwagan ang suot ko.
Remember noong sinamahan ako ni Terrence para magpasukat ng damit pagkatapos naming namili sa mall? It wasn't a black gown but a cream-colored gown intended to get my exact body size. That is not the black gown that I was wearing right now. This was the purpose kung bakit tila isang pandoble lang ang suot kong damit ngayon, I slowly remove it from my body until I saw myself glistening in a cream and gold-colored long gown filled with gold diamonds... sleeveless and just like a mermaid style which totally fits my body.
Good to know na walang naiwan na pasa o anumang marka mula sa natamo kong bala ng baril noon.
Anyways, mawawala ba ang mga paalala ni Xenia sa akin? Of course not. She intently did my updo hairstyle because I would be having to remove it. Hinawakan ko ang nilagay nito sa buhok ko at dahan-dahang hinila 'yon para tanggalin. Kasabay noon ay ang kusang pagkalugay ng buhok ko. It was long, wavy and shiny. Ako sa sarili ko, alam kong hindi ako 'to— I mean, Xenia is just too much. She made me into a totally different person.
Aktong bubuksan ko ang hawak kong pouch ay natigilan ako nang may maalala. Unti-unting bumilis ang pagkabog ng dibdib ko nang mapagtanto na hindi ko ito hawak. I tried to recollect where could I left it but wait?! Parang hindi ko siya hawak magmula kaninang nakasayaw ko siya? Did it fall while I was unaware earlier? Where the hell did I leave that thing?! Sa dinami-rami ng bagay, bakit 'yon pa?!
Napahawak ang dalawang kamay ko sa ulo ko at kulang na lang ay maglakad pabalik-balik para lang maalala kung saan ko 'yon naiwan pero sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi ko naman nabitawan. Napatingin ako sa pintuan nang pumasok sa isip ko ang isang hindi magandang plano. I could get caught. What the hell am I thinking? I can't go out without him and not too soon, yet I have to.
Kumuha naman ako ng lakas ng loob at minasdan ang sarili sa harap ng salamin, "I can do this. Just relax. Busy ang mga tao kaya walang makakakita sa'yo," kailangan ko lang talagang magtiwala sa sarili ko. I have no choice. Just be careful.
Nagbuntong hininga ako at tinahak ang daan palabas. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pintuan para sumilip kung may tao. Biglaan namang may nag-abot sa akin ng kung ano na siyang ikinabigla ko hanggang sa muli ko siyang nakita, "You're too absent-minded earlier so I took it and let my men handle it for a minute while we were having a dance," pahayag niya kaya napabuntong-hininga ako.
"Sorry for that. Akala ko nawala. But thanks," nginitian ko siya at kinuha ang pouch bago isinara ang pintuan. Napansin ko rin na parang inihatid nila 'yon sa kanya dahil natanaw ko pa ang mga tauhan niya kanina na naglalakad papalayo sa kinaroroonan namin. Halos mahimatay ako sa kaba, buti na lang talaga at hindi nawala.
Katulad ng sinabi ni Xenia, binuksan ko ang pouch at kinuha ang tissue mula rito. I think smokey eye shadow won't fit me this time. I slowly wipe the darker shade above the lighter shade to make them balance because I don't want to look bolder. Pinunasan ko na rin ang labi ko at kinuha ang lipstick mula sa pouch. I slowly put the nude brown shade on. Once done, I removed my black pair of earrings, necklace, ring and the bracelet.
May mga inilagay na rin si Xenia na accessories sa pouch kaya isa-isa ko 'yong kinuha para ilagay sa akin. Gold earrings, necklace, bracelets and a ring. Simple lang ang mga ito which makes it more attracting. After fixing myself, hindi ako magsasawa na titigan ang sarili ko ngayon sa salamin. You should always be confident, they say. I perfectly fixed my hair and everything. Baka nga nandito na rin sina Xenia kaya iniwan ko ang pouch sa pinakadulong cubicle kagaya ng napag-usapan.
I had my way out dahil sa tingin ko ay hinihintay na rin niya ako. I slowly opened the door at kagaya ng inaasahan ko ay bumungad sa akin ang isang matipunong lalaki. He looked at his watch habang napatingin ako sa kanya mula ulo hanggang paa. He changed his black neck tie to a gold one just like the color of my gown. Wala rin siyang suot na maskara kagaya ko hanggang sa mapatingin siya sa akin mula ulo hanggang paa.
Binulungan naman siya ng isa sa mga tauhan nito at pagkatapos ay umalis rin agad kaya muli kaming naiwan. Namatay ang ilaw sa buong lugar hanggang sa maramdaman ko ang paglapit at pagbulong nito sa akin, "If Natasia drawn the attention of every guests here, just by looking at you, I'm quite sure that you can do better, Serenity Gale. Que encantadora eres, amoure," narinig ko nanaman ang mga salitang hindi ko maintindihan. He already mentioned those words earlier. Ni hindi ko alam kung minumura na ba niya ako o kung ano dahil hindi ko talaga maintindihan. Ngunit tila may ibig siyang sabihin sa mga salitang 'yon dahil mas nakaramdam ako ng kaba.
Hindi ko siya makita ng maayos dahil sa dilim ng paligid pero kahit papaano ay naaaninag ko pa rin naman siya. Tinalikuran niya ako dahilan para mapasunod ako. Mula sa kinaroroonan namin ay pansin kong tahimik sa loob kung saan nagaganap ang party.
There were no technicality malfunctions anyways, it was really intended to make everything believable. Isa 'to sa plano ni Philip.
Bago kami makapasok muli sa loob ay naramdaman ko na may iniabot ito sa akin. It was a gold mask. Isinuot na rin nito ang maskara niya na katulad ng sa akin kaya ganon na rin ang ginawa ko habang naglalakad kami papalapit. When we took a step inside, we found the senator and my father having their way in front to speak, there was burden in my family's eyes that's why I knew.
Ngayon pa lang mag-uumpisa ang tunay na laban.
Continua...