Faith's Point of View
Sabi nila, music speaks when words fail. Kung hindi mo kayang ilahad lahat, kumuha ka na lang ng gitara sabay pagtugtogin ang kanta. Kahit na hindi mo alam kung maiintindihan ba nila.
Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now,
Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same,
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down,
'Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name...
The crowd shout as if we're in a concert. I know who's voice is that - Stay. As the coordinators saw him earlier, he became the guest while the judge are organizing the results. So I, who is resting in the backstage, run towards the crowd to watch his performance.
"GO STAY!" I shout from the top of my lungs.
"Nakakakilig talaga s'ya kumanta 'no? Plus pogi points!" A 'likely' freshman student says to her friend while giggling.
I stare at Stay, who's been singing from his heart. Hindi lang basta basta bumubuka ang bibig n'ya habang sumasabay sa ritmo, dahil binubuhay n'ya ang bawat liriko ng kanta. When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars is his favorite song of all time, and it never changes.
It all just sounds like ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh,
Mm, too young, too dumb to realize,
That I should have bought you flowers,
And held your hand
Let's say, he have a unique voice that captivates everyone - especially girls. And while singing the chorus, his eyes are stuck on me as soon he found me watching here. I just smile and give a thumbs up, saying he really is doing a good job.
But my smile fades as he walk down on the stage and held my hand. The audience start to murmur and some gasp for it is so unexpected.
"H-hoy! Ano bang ginagawa mo?" ani ko nang hawak kamay kaming pumunta ng stage.
I look at the crowd who are staring at me - as if a bitch get in the romantic scene with this hot throb friend. But Stay looks calm and sincere while performing.
And then, here it goes...
He look at me as he sing the next lines.
Although it hurts,
I'll be the first to say that I was wrong,
Oh, I know I'm probably much too late,
To try and apologize for my mistakes,
But I just want you to know
I smile as I feel his sincerity while facing me.
Even some students feel jealous, they can't help it but to scream for more. Stay's voice is one of the best, a golden lungs. Pinagkaabalahan masyado ni Lord kaya naging unfair para sa ibang kalalakihan. A total package kumbaga.
"How can you be so happy without me? Damn, I'm always here, but I can't make you feel the same way."
Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. At the same time, hindi ko rin mapigilang kiligin sa pagiging sweet n'ya. That is unexpectable - I was just being a fangirl there. But this time, it feels... weird.
He sang the song as if he is telling me something. I can say it from his eyes. It's something I can't determine, all I can feel is a butterfly in my stomach. Siguro dahil first time, kahit hindi ito isang harana.
I hope he buys you flowers,
I hope he holds your hand
Hinigpitan n'ya lalo ang kapit sa kamay ko dahilan para lalong maramdaman kung gaano kalambot ang kamay n'ya.
Give you all his hours,
When he has the chance,
Take you to every party,
'Cause I remember how much you loved to sing,
He changed the lyrics - from "dance" to "sing" which I really love to do. The face of Samuel flashes from my mind as the lyrics hits so hard.
Did he say 'that' yesterday night after I met Samuel? Did he sang this song as he is pertaining to him?
Do all the things I should have done,
When I was your man...
Do all the things I should have done,
When I was your man.
Totoo nga ang sabi nila: music speaks when words fail.
"Our first runner up is..." The drum rumbles in sync with the shout of crowd. Halos magusot ang banner sa pagiging hyper ng bawat supporters ng contestant. Including Lara, who's getting a lot of attention for her incredible larynx.
Hindi ko mapigilang matawa dahil sa sobrang pagwawala n'ya. "FAITH FOR THE WIN!" She never fails to shout it - without having a hoarse for one hour. A true talent, indeed.
"CONTESTANT NUMBER 4! FAITH SANTIMOZA! CONGRATULATIONS!" the host lively says and the crowd clgive around of applause. I walk forward as the coordinators give me a certificate and envelope that has consolation price. We take a picture.
I accept the fact that I don't bring home the bacon. I timidly laugh, Lara automatically fades her sweet and hyper smile when they heard my place. Ang banner ng classmates ko ay biglang nawala at nakita ko ang mga mukha nila, gulat at hindi makapaniwala.
Other students shouted for more and the banners sail higher, as their classmate have a chance to win the prize. But I don't care at all - we are 6 contestants, tatlo lang ang napili para manalo. Atleast, I can say I'm lucky.
I walk backward as the host will finally announce the grand winner. Si Hazel, ang babaeng katabi ko na may mahabang buhok ay ngumisi. Si Mona, iyong babaeng short-haired naman sa left side ko ay pinagpapawisan at hindi mapakali sa kinatatayuan.
Pumiyok si Mona kanina, she got humiliated and didn't finish her performance earlier. Umiyak s'ya pagkabalik ng backstage, while Hazel, got around of applause as she finished her song clean.
"And for our grand winner..." The drum rolls again, the banners sail higher than them and the crowds become more loud. Halos dumagundong ang buong gym dahil sa mga audience na nagwawala.
"CONTESTANT NUMBER ONE! HARRY MONQUEZ!"
Nagkagulo ang mga supporter ni Harry, iyong contestant na senior with his so brushed up hair. I see Lara and my classmates rolling their eyes, that make me smile a bit. We give around of applause for Harry, who will receive a higher prize than me.
"Hayaan mo na 'yon, Faith. Senior na kasi kaya pinagbigyan lang manalo. Ang kapal ng mukha gawin kang first runner up, napakaunfair!" singhal ni Lara nang makapunta kami sa cafeteria.
This time, hindi ko muma isasara ang kamay ko. Nakaka overwhelm dahil sinuportahan ako nilang lahat. Sagot ko ang orders nila, some of them insisted kaya hinayaan ko na lang.
"Yeah, ganoon talaga sila. Syempre they want to give a good memory bago sila umalis ng DMU," Soni says, my groupmate in Coleen's project.
"Agh. That's already done, atleast nakaya ko na ulit humarap sa crowd," I say as we start eating.
"Eh? So you used to be a contestant? Wow!"
"I won't be surprised, she have a strong vocals," Anthony says, the most active in recitation.
Ngumiti ako. "Sino nga pala ang gumawa ng banner?"
Lara raise her hand. "Ako sumagot sa print!"
We laugh.
"I mean sino nag design?" I asks.
"Si Milly," sagot ni Soni.
She is the most artistic in the batch, her notebooks amazes be everytime she pull those out. I won't be shocked too, sobrang ganda ng banner kaso nagusot lang dahil sa kakawagayway nila Anthony. What a supportive guys.
Sinundo ako ni Stay pagkagaling sa cafeteria, kahit na hindi ko alam bakit bigla s'yang nawala after his performance. His smile and sincereness while singing earlier flashed on my mind again. He don't talk about what happened earlier so I remain silent while on the road.
As usual, mag luluto, kakain at manonood ng TV. I feel tired because of the event, sabog din ang phone ko sa notifications, maraming nag crongatulate, and some of them are anonymous.
And as the night goes deep, I see Stay outside. He's standing on the garden-like side of his house, while holding a cup of coffee. This must be the perfect time to talk with him. Naglakas loob akong naglakad palabas at lumapit sa kan'ya.
I cleared my throat to make him notice me beside him. He raise his brow, "Why?" He asks.
Umiling lamang ako habang nakatingin sa mga maiikling damo. Kakaulan lang kaya't masyado pa iyong basa at maputik. I hug myself as I feel the coldness of night. Sakto para magtimpla ng kape at magisip isip.
Pero hindi pa rin maalis sa isip ko ang ginawa n'ya kanina. So I, being a straight forward woman, face him and start to ask something.
"Stay."
Lumingon s'ya sa'kin habang nakapamulsa. "Hmm?"
"Mahal mo ba ako?"
He stop for a while then shrugged and sip his hot coffee. "Hindi ko alam," he answers like an innocent.
"What?" I said, confused and somehow disgusting. My eyes remain looking at him - on his eyes. As I believe that eyes won't lie whatever you'll say, but it don't go with my expectations... Those are emotionless.
"Hindi. Hindi kita mahal."
I'm about to say something but he start to speak again. He looks serious about what I have said, and it make me feel nervous.
"Faith... You lend me your hands to lift me up when I failed before."
That's not my point. Why is he saying this?
"Bakit mo ginawa 'yon?" Pagtukoy ko sa nangyari kanina. I know he want to give a hint, and his mission succeed.
"Nagawa ko lang yon, dahil nasanay ako na nandyan ka sa tabi ko."
I frowned. "What?" I disgustingly said but with a confused tone. Inaamin ko, I'm a bit offended. No, I am offended. Really. Hindi ko alam pero kung magsalita s'ya parang pinaglaruan n'ya lang ako.
Pine- friend zone n'ya ba 'ko?!
Again, he sip his coffee. "Isa pa, alam kong natatanong mo lang 'yan dahil hindi ka pa minamahal pabalik ng mga taong mahal mo," aniya at diretso lamang ang tingin na parang may tinitignan sa harap.
Hindi ko mapigilang iyukom ang kamao sa sinabi n'ya. Ano daw? Dahil hindi ko pa nararanasan ma-crush back? Mag ka jowa o magka MU man lang? Gosh!
I purse my lips while trying to calm myself, even I'm wanting to punch and slap him thrice, I need to think ten times to think for the outcome. Is it good decisiom or bad? I take a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh, this guy is so disgusting.
I raise my brow. "Fine, whatever." I say before walking out and slam the door.