A/N:
Try to listen "Someone like you" by Adele while reading this, hehe. Thank you! 🧡🧡🧡🧡
Stay's Point of View
"Happy monthsary," I say before she go, smiling. It's Saturday, she have a project meeting with her classmates, hinatid ko lang s'ya rito sa meeting place which is a café near DMU. Nasa labas na s'ya ng kotse habang ako ay nasa driving seat na.
"Jeje mo talaga!" Akma akong hahampasin ni Faith na ikinatawa ko lang. Yeah, it's been one month since we became in a relationship but it's also been one month since she's not into a corny boyfriend. As if she's already a 30's woman.
"Sorry na, Manang!" Pang aasar ko sa kan'ya na lalo n'yang kinasama ng tingin. She doesn't fail to make me smile, she's my energy pill.
"Sige na! Mag iingat ka."
I smile and nod. "I love you."
But she avoided her gaze, cheeks heating up and standing like a statue. And it's also been one month since she's shy to say 'i love you too' except on messages. Psh, parang bata. I don't expect for a reply but I didn't see this coming…
She leans forward and kisses me on the cheek from the car window. My hands holding on the steering wheel. Unbelievable, now I feel like I'm the one who's cheeks are heating. She's really inconceivable!
She softly chuckle, nakabalik na s'ya sa dating pwesto habang ako ay hindi pa rin makapaniwala.
"I'm going," I say, start to drive without looking at her. Tinignan ko s'ya sa side mirror, nakatanaw pa rin sa'kin at kitang kita ang saya sa mga mata n'ya. Sumandal ako at bumuntong hininga. I ran my fingers through my not-so-messy hair. I can't help but to smile, slightly chuckled while driving.
---
I planned to have a cleaning of my room today. Specially to my book shelves, it's like a piece of shit —And I hate it. Isa isa kong nilapag sa sahig ang mga libro, kasama na roon ang mga librong ibinibigay sa'kin ni Coleen. Napuno na n'ya ang isa kong book shelf kakabigay ng makakapal na libro.
And honestly, wala pa akong nababasa kahit isa.
Hindi ko pa tapos ang mga librong nabili ko noong highschool. They call me a Big Spender because when I see books with great cover, I automatically order or buy it. But not all with book cover has a good content, remember it. Hindi ko maiwasan magsisi, kung pwede lang ang refund, ginawa ko na.
While staring at the books, napako ang mga mata ko sa isang libro na may nakasingit na sobre. Psh, sino namang magsisingit ng sobre habang naggagala sa bookstore?
Kinuha ko 'yon at tinignan muna ang libro. This is a gift from Coleen, two years ago.
Sometimes, through moons.
A novel by Jiansxx
It has a great cover, a likely couple seeing the moons. Binuklat ko ang parteng may nakasingit na sobre, walang ano-ano ko iyong kinuha at nilabas ang isang papel roon.
2018/11/11
Hi! This is the second book I bought for you. Pero hindi mo pa rin alam? That's painful. Well, by the way, happy birthday! Please do good on your study, we're near on the graduation! I love you.
Soon to be your girl,
Coleen.
Hindi ko namalayang nakatitig ako sa sulat na binigay ni Coleen. Bumalik ako sa aking sarili at agad na hinanap ang lahat ng librong ibinigay n'ya sa'kin, mula 2018 hanggang ngayon, 2020. I gasp finding those all, but have a sigh after I collected it all. Sinimulan ko ang pagbabasa mula sa mga natatandaan kong noon pa n'ya ibinigay.
2018/7/9
I hope you'll read this book I gave. This is all about a boy and girl who hates each other but then, ended up being together. I suddenly remembered about our highschool memories, our photos and videos. Stay, I'm afraid saying this to you. Sometimes… I just stutter specially when I realized I have feelings for you before graduating in highschool. It's really so long, right? But I just want you to know that… I love you. And remember, I hate rejections ha! Mwa!
Sincerely yours,
Coleen.
Dala ng kuryosidad, hinalungkat, binuksan at binasa ko ang lahat. Hanggang sa makarating ako sa huling librong ibinigay n'ya sa'kin.
2020/08/28
How long is it been? I've been giving you books with notes but it seems you're still innocent about what I feel.
Stay, this book is similar to our story, isn't? Matagal na tayong magkakilala tulad ni Lupie at Shan na bida ng storyang ito. You've been my friend since you transferred here in Manila. We read a lot of books since then. But why I can't say my feelings for you personally?
I hope there's a chance for us. I love you, for almost seven years, Stay. We almost reached our dreams and now, I'm excited to open a new page, new chapter for us. Maybe if you read this, my feelings will be more deeper than you thought, haha. I love you<3.
Your friend,
Coleen
Bahagya akong ngumiti at tumayo mula sa sahig. Hindi ko na natapos ang paglilinis, kumuha ako ng papel at ballpen, pagkatapos ay nagsimulang magsulat.
---
COLEEN'S POV |
I press the doorbell many times. I'm sure he's here, and I'm sure that girl isn't here. Tinambakan ko ng projects ang class nila para wala na s'yang oras makipag develop-an ng feelings kay Stay. Ugly bitch. My lips suddenly form a smirk, Paano kung ibagsak ko kaya s'ya?
"Coleen, you're here. What's the matter?" Napangiti ako ng malapag nang makita si Stay na pinagbuksan ako ng gate. He's so hot. Wearing a gray shirt and black shorts while dripping in sweat makes him more attractive.
I sigh. "Nothing, I just want to see you. I've been busy these days…" Pumasok kami sa loob ng bahay n'ya, I look around to see if she's here, but I succeeded. Buti na lang maaalalahanin sa grades ang babaeng 'yon. Well, sino ba namang may gustong bumagsak ulit pagkatapos ng kabobohang ginawa n'ya noon? What a shame.
"Coffee or what?"
"Coffee na lang," I say and sit down to the dining table. Perfect ang kape para sa isang makulimlim na umaga. "Ang linis naman ng bahay mo, your so hardworking, ah," puri ko habang busy s'ya sa pagtitimpla.
"Si Faith ang naglilinis ng halos buong bahay," he coldly answer. I mouthed "Oh," still looking around to his kitchen.
"Dapat hindi mo na s'ya pinahihirapan, you know… a bunch of projects--"
"Lagi ko s'yang tinutulungan." He softly chuckled. "We do cleaning every Sunday." Then he looks at me as if he's giving a deeper meaning.
I secretly roll my eyes and settle my hand to my chin. Cleaning every Sunday? Err--maybe she's treated like a maid here... maybe. Inilapag n'ya na ang kape ko, nag 'thank you' ako pero ngumiti lang s'ya sa'kin. Iba ang ngiti n'ya, naiilang at hindi ko maintindihan. Parang…
"I'll just get something," paalam n'ya. Sinundan ko naman s'ya ng tingin at pumunta s'ya sa kwarto n'ya. Binalik ko ang baling sa mug, hinipan hipan ko ng marahan. The thin smoke are dancing above the mug, and it's really beautiful. Lalong nangamoy ang kape.
I'm about to sip it but Stay handed me something. Oh, it's a book! A book I gave him last month. I look surprise. Bakit n'ya ibinibigay sa'kin 'to? He's still looking at me seriously.
"A-are you giving it back to me? Hindi mo ba nagustuhan?" I ask without handling it, staring him back.
Bumuntong hininga s'ya at umiling. I, seriously, have no idea why is he giving me this back. What's wrong with the-- oh, fuck… Napatigil ako nang makita ang nakasingit na puting sobre sa gitnang parte ng libro.
Napansin ni Stay na roon ako nakatitig. "Get it."
Sinunod ko s'ya. My heart started to pound, para iyong nasa race. I don't know… I don't get it. But one thing's for sure, and I hate it. Nanginginig ang kamay kong kinuha ang sobre mula sa libro. Kinuha ko ang papel na nasal loob, hindi 'yon katulad ng papel na sinulatan ko last month. Lalong umapaw ang curiousity ko.
Sumandal si Stay sa pader, crossing his arms while watching me read the note.
I know we've been friends for years. Being a highschool student is awesome, specially when we became friends. Studying in the library with you is the most unforgettable memory, and I know it's the same for you.
Coleen, you're strong, pure, and indestructible woman. I don't intend your feelings to get mistreated. You have an amazing charisma, and surely many guys will fall for you. I know someday you'll find a man who makes you happy, and nicer than me.
I'm sorry, if I can't be a boyfriend or a husband for you. I'm not the one you're destined to be with, Coleen. I'm here to be a good listener when you fail, and get hurt. I'm sorry. And thank you for loving me.
Next to you,
Stay.
I wipe my tears continuously falling down from my eyes. I can't help it. Humagulgol ako at napasuklay sa sariling buhok gamit ang mga daliri. I feel like I'm going to burst, but all I can do… is to fall down on the floor. Deep sigh, staring at nothing, extremely devastated.
"Damn… How can you reject me this nice?"