Chapter 25. Making
BEFORE the concert had ended, Rachel went home so fast. Sinadya niyang maunang umalis at nagdahilan na lang na pagod na.
The very next day, she was woken up by her father, saying that Sage was waiting downstairs. Hindi siya tumayo at nagtalukbong sa comforter.
"'Pa, t-tell him I'm not here!"
"Ano namang sasabibin ko?"
"Na hindi ako rito nakatira, nag-abroad ako, nag-asawa. Bahala ka na, 'Pa."
Pumalatak ang kanyang ama. "Hindi dapat ganyan kapag mayroon kayong hindi pagkakaunawaan. Dapat ay mag-usap kayo ng masinsinan." Napailing pa ito.
Her dad was really thinking that there's something going on between them. Iniisip nitong may relasyon sila ni Sage.
"Sige na, papasok na ako sa trabaho."
Hindi siya sumagot at tumalikod na nang lumabas na ito ng pinto.
Ilang sandali pa ay narinig niya ulit ang pagbukas at pagsara ng pinto. Her dad always knocked the door before going in. Pero mukhang hindi na ito mag-abalang kumatok dahil baka may nakalimutan lang ihabilin.
Ten seconds... still, he's silent.
"'Pa, if you're going to tell me to face him, just forget it."
"Then don't face me. Just face on that side while I talk."
Nanlaki ang mga mata niyang bumalikwas ng bangon at naupo sa kama. Si Sage pala ang pumasok at nakuha pa nitong mamilosopo.
Lumapit ito at tinukod ang isang tuhod sa malambot niyang kama. Napalunok siya't inakalang hahalikan nito pero inayos lang nito ang strap ng suot niyang spaghetti strapped night dress. Dumulas pala iyong pagkabangon niya.
"Why didn't you knock? Bigla ka na lang pumasok!"
"I did..."
Did he? Baka hindi niya narinig dahil okupado nito ang isipan niya kanina.
"Ang sabi mo'y mag-uusap tayo."
Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. "Oo."
"But why did you leave early?"
"P-pagod na kasi ako."
"Maligo ka muna," namamaos na bulalas nito.
"Hindi ako mabaho! I showered last night." Iba kasi ang dating sa kanya ng sinabi nito. Para bang ayaw nitong maamoy siya dahil bagong-gising.
"I didn't say you stink. Just take a shower first. Or, change your clothes."
"Mister, nasa pamamahay kita. Wala kang karapatang diktahan ako."
"But Rachel—" He didn't finish his sentence and stayed on the bed as his breathing became heavy.
"Doon ka. H'wag ka rito sa kama."
Napapikit ito ng mariin at marahan siyang hiniga.
"Sage... What are you going to do?" Damn, why did she sound excited?
He didn't speak and claimed her mouth. Nagtatalo ang isipan niya kung tutugunin ba ito o hindi. Nang akmang tutugon ay bahagya itong humiwalay.
"You are so intoxicating... You smell sweet especially when you just woke up. Your dishevelled hair is making me want to pull it sensually while I'm pounding you..."
Pakiramdam niya ay siya ang mas nalasing sa mga sinabi nito dahil natagpuan na lang niya ang sariling nagpapa-angkin sa lalaki.
Nang matapos ay roon pa lang siya natauhan.
"You were so tight. I hope I didn't hurt you..." he murmured as he kissed her nape.
Napapikit siya ng mariin at hindi kumibo. Sage was so gentle but when she fully adjusted to his size, he fucking claimed her as wild as he could. At siyempre, ang taksil niyang katawan ay dinama ang ligayang dulot ng bawat pang-angkin nito. Damang-dama niya ang mas malalim na damdamin nito bukod sa pagnanais nitong maangkin siya.
"Let's take a shower."
Tahimik siya nang binuhat nito at binaba sa tub. Pero agad siyang tumayo at dumiretso sa shower room. Sinundan siya ni Sage at sabay silang naligo. Kung pagligo nga bang matatawag ang ginawa nilang kamunduhan sa ilalim ng shower.
Nakapagbihis na sila nang niyaya siya nitong kumain sa labas.
"I don't want this, Sage."
"Do you want to eat here instead?"
"I said I don't want this."
Tumitig ito sa kanya nang may takot na nakabakas sa mukha.
"We only fuck. Ayoko ng ganito... Kung mag-uusap, mag-uusap lang dapat. Pero hindi mangyayari iyon lalo pa't mukhang lagi tayong mauuwi sa sex."
"I couldn't control myself... I'm missing you so bad and wanting you at the same time."
"Are you sure it isn't just because you're hypersexual?" What the heck am I saying?
She felt like she offended him when he suddenly looked away.
"We will never work out. We began in a one-night stand. We happened to meet and fuck, so I think it's safe to say we're ending everything after we fuck as well." Heck, no!
"Can you stop using that word? We didn't just fuck, Reych. I made sure I let you feel what I'm feeling." Naramdaman niya ang pagod sa tinig nito.
"Na ano? Na hayok ka sa sex? Halimaw sa kama?" singhal niya. Maging siya ay naguluhan sa mga sinasabi.
Nasaring na niyang talaga ang pagkalalaki nito nang mapansin niya ang pagpatak ng luha nito na agad naman nitong pinunasan gamit ang palad.
"Don't get me wrong, Sage, I was just telling you what I'm feeling." Hindi niya alam kung paanong nanatili ang mga titig niya rito nang sambitin ang mga katagang iyon.
"I know... But, Rachel... I didn't have sex with anyone all these years after my treatment. Tama ka, hayok ako sa sex... pero noon iyon, at hindi ko ginusto. I was violated when I was seventeen but I didn't tell anyone. Naulit pa iyon at natigil lang nang umaksyon na ako pagtuntong ko ng labingwalo..."
Napakagat-labi siya. She never knew that terrible past of him.
"After that, I've watched countless porns and hentais. I resorted to buying adult toys and making myself feel good. Pero may kulang..."
Naupo ito sa gilid ng sofa kung saan siya nakapwesto. Hinuli nito ang paningin niya.
"Everything had changed when I met you, I was really pleasured during those sexy encounters, Rachel. Sa iyo ko lang ginusto na maging maingat, at sa iyo lang ako nakaramdam ng totoong kaluguran." He sighed heavily and caught her gazes. "I only wanted you. But when you decided to go, I was left distracted. Lumala ako. Sex toys were never enough so I came up with screwing different women almost every fucking night for months. I always saw you in the faces of the women I bedded. I only remembered how you submitted to me while I was doing them... thinking it was you whom I was pleasuring with..."
Nag-iwas siya ng tingin. Nako-konsensya siya sa mga paratang niya rito.
"Until I decided to seek medical health. I became normal after a year of treatment but I still needed to continue my medications. I went back to college while my treatment was still ongoing. Until someone offered me to become a trainee. When I got casted, I just thought of it as a way of coping up and making myself busy so I wouldn't think only about you. Throughout, I came to love dancing and singing that's why I continued doing these as my passion. 'Til I became part of Eclipse."
She's left speechless. That explained why he changed his career. I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
"I'm sorry if you felt that way. I guessed you're right, I am just a lustful beast. It won't happen again."
Tumayo ito at inayos ang suot na sinturon.
"I'm sorry but I will never be sorry for making love to you."
Naiwan siyang tulala sa loob ng kanyang silid habang hinahabi sa kanyang utak ang mga sinabi rito.
"God, what did I do?"