I like to stand in the corner of my psychiatrist's waiting room and blow on anyone who walks by.
Most people hate it, but I'm a fan.
———
Anyway, the Alien died.
I just formed an alliance with him and he died by my hands or nose.
But fuck the alliance, he was my fan. My first fan you could say if I am not counting my grandma.
It was this Alien's fault as well. His antennas tingled me in all the right places.
I stepped back from the gooey green substance under my feet.
"Well, my lord. Your peace is in pieces right now." Erect said.
"It's not technically in pieces. You just wanted to word play here."
"Yes."
He is honest at least.
But I just killed my fan. What to do about it?
"My lord! My lord! My lord!"
Someone shouted my name from outside the castle. I would have figured it was Beater but the shouting seemed like a proper shout not a moan.
"See what's up, Erect." I delegated the task. I wanted to mourn the death of my fan for a minute. I have very few fans anyway. Gotta cherish them even if it's just one.
Erect went over to the window of the room and looked down.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Call the lord! These Aliens are not normal. We are losing! They are destroying everything!"
That's too many exclamation marks. Is it that serious? Well, I'll just mourn my fan's death for ten seconds then.
"Why is that? Can't you all fight? Nearly all the Heroes of all the continents are present here." Erect said.
"Shut the fuck up and call the Lord."
Wow. This shouting hero is lit and serious too.
Alas, my fan, I can't mourn you anymore. This world needs me.
I stopped mourning and went over to the window myself.
I gently pushed Erect to the side. It was time for the Hero King to handle the matter.
I looked down the window with a serene smile and saw the shouting person..
"What's the prob- Who the hell are you?"
The shouting man was half naked. He was only in boxers and he had no eyebrows as well.
He was bald and fat.
"I am a Hero, my lord!" The man said.
"No way. If you are Hero then Sydney Sweeney has real tits."
"I don't know who that is. But I am really a Hero. My name is Cock Bang. Remember?"
Oh. Yeah. I will call him Bang though, for obvious reasons.
"Yes. I remember. You looked different before if I might say."
"It's these Aliens. They all are strong. They are not just Awakened. They are something worse than that. They made me like this. You have to come down!" Bang shouted.
I sighed. New type of Aliens? Just to make things interesting, someone is coming up with new things.
"Let's go, Erect. We have to see."
I jumped from the window. The height was considerably high but I jumped without any fear because I'll be safe. I am strong after all.
Erect jumped after me.
"Wait. My lord! Don't jump on me!" Bang shouted.
Shit. I am going to land on him. He will die.
Or I might bounce off his stomach. But that's too risky. What if he dies? Oh no. He will die. My stats are On too. I am so worried.
Just kidding.
"Move out of the way, Bang." I shouted…
SPLACK!
A little too late.
But I was safe.
And Bang was dead.
Anyway..
What? You thought I really cared for Bang? Lol. I could have flown out of the window but I jumped on him deliberately.
Cold MCs are ruling the bestseller section right now. I wanted to do some shit like that too.
And it's not like anyone cares about the death of someone named Cock Bang. Unless you want some bang yourself.
Erect landed on the ground as well and looked at the splattered blood.
"You killed Cock Bang, my lord… Anyway, let's focus on the main thing."
See? No one cares. Even someone named Erect doesn't care about someone named Cock.
Whatever, enough about this.
Let's see the new Aliens.
My castle was built inside a circular tall wide wall so to see what's happening in the country I and Erect jumped over the wall.
BOOM!
THRAM!
"HAHAHA!"
Explosions, cries, fire was happening all around.
The Heroes were fighting their best and I saw the soldiers for the first time as well.
Superpowers were flying around and the common people were running here and there.
Houses were burning, shops were being thrashed, women dry humping each other. Wait what? Oh… it's legal here as well. Fine.
But the only Aliens I could see seemed normal. They had no antennas and sneakers so they were not Awakened. They don't seem like new which Bang mentioned.
Where are the new types of Aliens? Usually they would be shouting like..
"I am a new Alien!"
Yeah. Just like that.
Wait..
"My lord, something is coming from the sky. Towards you!" Erect yelled.
I looked up and indeed, something with wings and abyssal black skin was coming at me.
"Move to the side. Deal with the regular ones. I will deal with these new ones."
I ordered Erect and Erect followed it without any complaints.
Now I waited for the new type to land in front of me.
BAAM!
The Alien landed in front of me and I finally understood what's new in this Alien.
He was mostly similar to the Awakened ones, with Antennas and sneakers. The only difference was.. this Alien was wearing a black leather jacket which made me nostalgic for that club.
"Aren't you hot.."
"Hehe. Thanks."
"Wearing that under this sunny day?"
"You were asking that? Finish your full sentence in one go. That was embarrassing."
"It's your fault for speaking before I finish. And who would call you hot? If you ever have a fever even the doctors would leave their job just to not commit the sin of calling you hot."
The Alien stared at me, blinking.
Did I roasted too hard? Though, he is still not hot even after getting roasted. But why am I calling every Alien 'he'? It could be she too, right? Or are they cooking at home?
Jokes aside, how to know if they are male or female? I'll ask Erect about this later.
"What are you staring at?" I asked.
The Alien shook his head.
"It's just. I know you insulted me but… that was funny."
Holy…
Another fan?
The Aliens like my talent while the humanoid people here don't?
Who are my real enemies?
And what was Bang talking about? This is no new Alien. He is just like my first alien fan. He also liked my joke. He is only wearing a black jacket. They both are same.
"But I have to kill you. My lord has ordered to kill any person I see."
The Aliens outstretched his scythe hands towards me.
He isn't attacking me physically?
The Alien's scythe then glowed in a red light.
Oh. I see.
Then a beam shot out at me and I figured out the new feature.
These Aliens are new because they also have superpowers just like us Heroes.
But alas, I am overpowered.
The beam hit my chest and it did nothing.
It died down after touching me.
The Alien went wide eyed. His eyes were wide by default though.
"How…? Are you.. the Hero King? Racis? The one who killed one of us?!" The Aliens recognised me.
"Yep." I accepted. It was the truth anyway.
But the Alien trembled after hearing that. He fumed with anger.
"I will kill you!"
I raised my hands in the air.
"Wait. Wait. I want no war. I want peace. I only killed one of you by mistake. I had no intention of killing Aliens. I want this war between us to end. Calm down and listen to me."
The Alien seemed to calm down. My words reached to him. That's good. That's good. Fans should stay alive.
"I will listen to you because you said you killed only one of us by mistake. If you would have killed two Aliens. Then I would have never stopped fighting you." The Alien said.
I actually did killed two of your kin. But both by mistake. But I can't tell him that. And thank God, the Supreme Man didn't showed a notification in the sky when I sneezed on the second awakened alien, killing him.
I sighed in relief but the next second, I realised what I just did.
I raised a flag. I jinxed it.
[{Ding}]
Notification sound rang in the sky.
I held my hairs.
[{ Racis T, the current Hero King, killed one more Awakened Alien just a few moments ago! }]
I looked at the Alien in front of me.
He looked at me as well.
The notification had ended. The Supreme Man had shared the main information so no further notification would come. Or so I thought…
[{ That's Not All, Everyone! }]
Supreme Man still had something to say.
[{ After killing the second Awakened Alien, Racis T, the Hero King, laughed and declared that he will kill all the Aliens and sexually assault their King! }]
[{ Racis T will bring peace! Racis T will bring peace by the power of horny! }]
[{ That's All. }]
…
The Alien in front of me looked at me with a strange look. The sexually assault bit took me off guard as well.
"So…" the Alien spoke.
My hands were still in the air.
"I can explain."
"So you…"
"Listen, I won't sexually assault yo-"
STEP!
The Alien stepped towards me. I don't think he will listen to any explanations.
I gave up on talking and the Alien stopped just in front of my face, and said…
"So you do find Aliens hot."
"..."
Hell Naw!