The old woman indirectly mentioned something about giving me a blow-job. I remembered something because of that.
Here :
A man goes into a brothel.
He says to the madam, "Hi, I'm a traveling salesman, I've been on the road for eight weeks. I'll pay 100 dollar for the worst blow-job in the house."
She says, "The worst? For 100 dollar you can have the best blow-job in the house!"
He says, "No, it's all right, I'm not horny, I'm homesick."
Keeping that aside, I have to refuse this old woman.
But I feel kind of pity for her. But that doesn't mean I would get down with her.
I have to save myself.
Therefore, just like any modern day leader does, I also scapegoated someone else to save myself.
"If any one of the Heroes standing behind me is interested in this woman, come forward and introduce yourself."
I turned the woman into a public listing and I am sure someone would be willing to take up in the offer.
"But I want to do it with you, the Hero King." The granny said.
I raised my hands in the air.
"I am sorry but I won't do it. Even if I agreed I would not get hard. So it's better if we both don't disappoint each other and settle for someone else."
I said everything honestly and the Woman could only stare at me with her mouth hanging.
Fortunately, before she could complain about anything..
THAM!
A hero from behind jumped in front of me.
He faced me and what was his name again..
"Who are you?" I asked.
"Ted Bundy."
"Oh. No wonder you took this offer."
The Hero was Ted Bundy and he was the one who would fulfill the old woman's wish.
"Yes, my lord. I would take this woman's breath away."
"I don't doubt you. Just don't literally take her breath away."
"I'll try."
"That's good enough. I guess."
Bundy nodded and turned around to face the old woman.
"My lady, would you like to spend your time with me."
Wow. This guy knows how to talk.
"Fuck that shit. Just come to my house and get this over with." The woman just wanted the D.
"Alright. I will take my leave, my lord."
"Sure."
With that, Bundy and the old woman went away and I felt a little safe.
"Now what, my lord?" Erect asked.
I turned around, facing all the leftover Heroes.
"All of you go back to your assigned countries." I ordered.
The Heroes nodded and took off to their respective countries.
Erect belonged to this K cup country so he was still with me.
I looked around the area one more time and everything was as good as new.
I repaired everything.
"The Aliens will attack next month, my lord. You can rest in your castle now." Erect suggested but I shook my head.
"No. The castle is not safe. That hairy man or Beater might trespass to my bedroom. I can't risk that."
"Then where will you stay?"
I smiled. "At your house."
Erect stepped back. My smile and request probably gave him the wrong idea as he covered his chest.
"I am sorry, my lord. But I don't deserve you."
I sighed. Everyone has their mind in the gutter in this world.
"You are not cute. Stop it. I will stay at your home until I am sure I am safe. If I wanted what you are thinking then I would have accepted the hairy man."
"Oh. Then you are welcome at my abode. It will be my pleasure to host you as a guest."
I nodded. "Show me the way."
Erect came in front of me and started walking.
I walked behind him and looked around.
At this point I have to explain the world and all but I am very bad at that.
What should I say? There are carriages with horses, houses small and big.
There is no concept of royals or Nobles here. No one is poor, no one is rich.
Only one God is worshipped here, the Supreme Man and there is no temple for him.
There are schools, playgrounds, training grounds, trees and many other things that I will reveal when I can think. I mean, you got the gist, right?
Though, I saw a group of children running around, laughing with their friends.
They are having fun. Children are such innocent creatures, I tell you. And they are always nice with their friends.
The group of children stopped running and one of them opened his mouth to say something to his friend.
He will probably say something wholesome. Let's hear it.
"Your dick is the size of a peppermint. Hahaha."
The hell? Which child says that to a friend? The friend must be crying now.
But in reply, that friend said :
"That's why your mom's breath smells so good."
…
I give up.
If I wasn't the Hero king, I would have taken some pointers from this kid for my comedy.
After hearing that, the friend who started the mocking began crying and I let them be.
These children weren't childering.
After walking for a few more minutes, Erect finally stopped in front of a big mansion.
I nodded in appreciation. That was a good house. Suited for the right hand man of the Hero king.
"Let's go, Erect." I said, walking towards the entrance of the mansion.
"One day, my lord." Erect said. He was still standing.
"One day what?" I asked.
"One day I will buy this mansion for sure."
Excuse me, what the actual fck?
"This is not your house?" I asked.
"Nope."
"Then why the hell did you stop here? Don't give me false hope, man."
"Oh. Sorry for that. Buying this mansion is my dream. I stopped here because my actual house is just in front of this mansion, on the opposite side of the road."
Erect gestured his hand towards his real house and I was afraid to look there. I don't want another hut.
I gathered courage to look and well, it was fine. A modest house. Not a mansion but still fine. It will work.
I watched the modest house and from its door, someone came out.
That person looked around and when their eyes fell on Erect, they came running towards him.
My heart beat faster as they came closer.
Because that someone was a real girl.
A beautiful, real girl. Thanks, supreme man. Appreciate that.
I stood straight, ran my fingers through my hair and acted cool.
But was she coming towards Erect. Is she his wife? I hope not.
"Brother! You came back!" The girl said and I was relieved. She was Erect's sister. Now I just hope this is not some Alabama shit.
But I will still try my best.
After finishing the hug with Erect the girl looked at me and bowed.
"Nice to meet you, my lord." She said.
I nodded. Mostly because my voice gave up on me. I had no experience with girls.
But I still needed to find some important things first.
So I looked at Erect and asked :
"What's her name?"
Before Erect could answer, the girl answered herself.
"I am Sophia."
Sophia? Wow. I asked for Sophia Leone so I got one with the same name. You rock, supreme man.
Now one more main question.
"How old is she?" I asked. Age was necessary.
This time as well, instead of Erect, Sophia answered :
"I am fourteen."
…
You supreme motherf-
"I see." I replied.
"And what's your name?"
Sophia asked for my name and well, modern problems require modern solutions. No one should judge me as this is not Earth. So right now, my name is…
"Grake."