Dear Diary,
Today was exhausting. My head feels like it's going to explode from everything that happened. I thought things would calm down after Akemi's confrontation yesterday, but no, life decided to crank up the drama instead.
I woke up this morning feeling like my chest was too tight. Akemi's words kept echoing in my head: "You don't have to hide this from me." It was supposed to be reassuring, I guess, but now I feel even more exposed.
She knows. Akemi knows I like Rei.
And worse, Rei has no idea Akemi confronted me about it.
I don't know what to do.
At school, things felt... weird.
Akemi acted like nothing happened. She was her usual confident self, teasing Haru about her new obsession with baking videos and reminding Rei about their upcoming project deadline. It's like yesterday's conversation never even happened, and honestly, I don't know if I'm relieved or terrified.
Rei, on the other hand, was her usual self too—smiling at me, joking around, and making me blush like it's a sport. But now every time she looked at me, I felt Akemi's gaze burning into the back of my head.
During lunch, Akemi sat beside me instead of across from me, which immediately put me on edge. She leaned in, pretending to show me something on her phone, but her voice was barely a whisper when she said, "We're talking after school. Don't try to run."
My stomach dropped.
Rei must have noticed something because she nudged my arm, her tone light but her expression curious. "Hey, you okay? You've been quiet today."
"I'm fine," I said quickly, avoiding her eyes.
Haru, completely oblivious as usual, grinned. "Gabu's probably just tired from all the love letters she's writing."
"L-Love letters?!" I nearly choked on my water.
Haru laughed, waving her hands. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding! You're too shy to write love letters."
"Gee, thanks," I muttered, glaring at her.
Rei laughed, her smile soft. "Leave her alone, Haru. Gabu's perfect just the way she is."
Perfect? Perfect?!
I could feel my face heating up, and I prayed to every deity in existence that the ground would just swallow me whole. Akemi didn't say anything, but when I glanced at her, she had that knowing look again, like she could see right through me.
After school, I tried to sneak out before Akemi could corner me, but she was waiting by the lockers like she'd anticipated my escape plan.
"Nice try," she said, grabbing my arm before I could bolt.
"Akemi, I really don't—"
"Relax," she said, pulling me along. "We're just going to talk."
We ended up at a quiet park near the school, sitting on one of the benches under a huge cherry blossom tree. The petals drifted down around us, painting the ground in soft pinks and whites. It would've been beautiful if I wasn't on the verge of a breakdown.
"Okay," Akemi said, turning to face me. "Talk to me. What's going on with you and Rei?"
I stared at the ground, my hands twisting in my lap. "There's nothing going on," I mumbled.
"Don't lie to me, Gabu," she said, her voice firm but not unkind. "You like her. It's obvious."
I stayed silent, my heart pounding.
"Gabu," she said softly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. I'm not judging you. I just want to understand."
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I finally broke. "I do like her, okay? I like her so much it hurts. And I don't know what to do because she probably doesn't feel the same way, and even if she did, what if everyone else finds out? What if they hate me? What if she hates me?"
Akemi's expression softened, and she pulled me into a hug. "Gabu, listen to me. Rei doesn't hate you. And if anyone else has a problem with it, screw them. You don't owe anyone an explanation for who you are or who you love."
I clung to her, my tears soaking into her uniform. "I'm scared, Akemi. I don't want to ruin everything."
"You won't," she said firmly. "And you don't have to do this alone. I'm here for you, okay? No matter what."
I nodded, unable to speak through the lump in my throat.
We stayed at the park for a while, just talking. Akemi told me about how she'd suspected my feelings for a while now, how she noticed the way I looked at Rei and how I acted around her. It was embarrassing, but also... relieving, in a way.
For the first time in weeks, I didn't feel completely alone.
By the time we left, the sun was setting, casting everything in warm golds and oranges. Akemi walked me halfway home, promising to keep my secret until I was ready to share it.
When I finally got home, I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off my chest.
But even as I wrote this, there's still a part of me that's terrified of what comes next.
Love,
Gabu