Dear Diary,
Today felt different—like the world was holding its breath. It wasn't bad, exactly, but it wasn't peaceful either. It was the kind of quiet that settles right before something big happens, though I have no idea what that "something" could be.
Rei and I are… something now. A pair? A couple? It's still so new, and the thought of putting a label on it feels too big, too official. But whatever we are, I like it. She makes everything feel brighter, even the things that used to scare me.
This morning, Rei and I walked to school together, like always. But it didn't feel like always. She smiled at me as we walked, the kind of smile that makes your knees go weak if you're not careful.
"Did you sleep okay?" she asked, her voice soft, almost too soft for the crisp morning air.
"Yeah," I lied. Truthfully, I'd barely slept at all. My brain had been on overdrive, replaying every moment from the day before. The memory of her leaning closer, her words warm and quiet, was enough to keep my heart racing long after the sun had set.
Rei didn't seem convinced, her eyebrows arching slightly in concern. "You sure? You look a little tired."
I shrugged, trying to brush it off. "I'm fine. Really."
"Hmm," she murmured, her eyes flicking over me like she was trying to figure something out.
She didn't press further, but the worry stayed in her gaze, making me feel both warm and self-conscious. She really cares, doesn't she? The thought sent a spark of something uncomfortably pleasant through me.
Class was uneventful for the most part. For the first time in a while, I found myself able to focus—at least a little. Rei sat beside me, her presence a quiet comfort, her occasional whispers pulling me out of my thoughts.
At one point, she passed me a note, folding it carefully so the teacher wouldn't notice.
You look pretty today.
I nearly choked on air when I read it, my cheeks heating up instantly. My hands trembled slightly as I turned to glance at her, but she just grinned at me like nothing was out of the ordinary.
How does she do that? How does she make me feel like the only person in the room, even when we're surrounded by people?
"Pay attention," she whispered, leaning close enough that her breath tickled my ear. "You're gonna get us caught."
"I wasn't the one passing notes," I hissed back, though my voice lacked any real bite.
She just chuckled, sitting back with that infuriatingly confident smile of hers.
Lunch was when things got interesting. Akemi joined us, sliding her tray onto the table with a dramatic sigh.
"Alright," she said, fixing us both with a sharp look. "What's going on here?"
"What do you mean?" Rei asked, her tone innocent but her grin giving her away.
"You two are being weird," Akemi said bluntly, crossing her arms. "Not arguing. Sitting all close. It's suspicious."
I opened my mouth to respond, but Rei beat me to it.
"Weird how?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in mock confusion.
Akemi narrowed her eyes, clearly not buying it. "Weird as in… not normal for you two. Come on, spill. Did something happen?"
I felt my stomach drop. How does she always know?
Rei, on the other hand, looked completely unfazed. "Maybe," she said, her voice teasing, her grin widening just enough to make me want to kick her under the table.
Akemi's smirk widened, and she turned to me, her gaze practically gleaming. "Gabu. Spill."
I groaned, burying my face in my hands. "Can't we just eat lunch in peace?"
"Nope," Akemi said, popping the "p" with a grin. "Not until you tell me what's going on."
Rei just laughed, leaning back in her seat like she didn't have a care in the world. "Gabu, should I tell her, or do you want to?"
I shot her a glare, my cheeks burning. "Neither of us is telling her anything."
"Too late," Akemi said triumphantly. "You just confirmed it. Something definitely happened!"
Rei laughed even harder, clearly enjoying my embarrassment. I, on the other hand, wanted to crawl under the table and stay there forever.
After school, Rei walked me home again, like she always did. The air was cool and quiet, the kind of peaceful that made everything else feel distant.
"You've been quiet today," she said suddenly, breaking the silence. Her voice was soft, almost hesitant, and it caught me off guard.
"Have I?" I asked, glancing at her.
She nodded, her eyes searching mine. "Yeah. Is something bothering you?"
I hesitated, my heart pounding. This was it—my chance to say something, to tell her what was really on my mind. But the words caught in my throat, tangled up in fear and doubt.
"I'm fine," I said finally, forcing a smile.
Rei frowned, clearly not convinced, but she didn't push. Instead, she reached out and ruffled my hair, her touch lingering for just a moment too long. "Alright. But you know you can talk to me about anything, right?"
"I know," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
Now I'm sitting here, staring at this page, and my chest feels like it's going to explode. Akemi's words keep replaying in my head, mixing with Rei's.
You're being weird. Something definitely happened!
You can talk to me about anything, right?
How do I talk to her? How do I find the courage to bare my soul, to tell her how much she means to me? What if I ruin everything?
I don't know, Diary. All I know is that I'm scared. But at the same time, I can't stop thinking about her—her laugh, her smile, the way she makes me feel like I'm not alone.
Maybe Akemi's right. Maybe I need to talk to her.
But not yet.
Love,
Gabu