Dear Diary,
I thought today would be normal—or at least as normal as things could be with everything going on between me and Rei. But it turns out that when your feelings are written all over your face, "normal" isn't an option anymore.
This morning started off… fine, I guess? I woke up to this weird mix of excitement and dread, my mind instantly flooded with thoughts of Rei. Would today be like yesterday? Would we walk to class together? Would she hold my hand again?
But then I remembered the way Akemi kept staring at me during lunch yesterday, like she was dissecting my every move. Akemi's always been like that—a quiet observer, the kind of person who notices everything and never misses a detail. She's not the type to let things slide if something seems off, and I know I must've set off all kinds of alarms for her.
Akemi and I have been friends for as long as I can remember. She's always been my rock, in a way, the person who could keep me grounded when my emotions got the better of me. But she's also relentless. If she senses that I'm hiding something, she won't stop until she gets the truth out of me.
I barely made it out the door this morning without forgetting my lunch, my thoughts tangled in this constant tug-of-war between excitement and anxiety. The closer I got to school, the more my stomach churned. What if Akemi confronted me? What would I even say?
When I arrived, Rei was already waiting for me by the lockers. My heart did that stupid fluttery thing again when I saw her. She looked so casual, leaning against the wall with her bag slung over her shoulder, her hair slightly messy in the way that made her even more unfairly gorgeous.
"Morning, Gabu," she said, her smile warm and easy.
"Morning," I replied, trying not to sound like my brain was short-circuiting.
Rei didn't hesitate to walk right up to me, her presence so steady and reassuring that it made the chaos in my head feel a little quieter. "You good?" she asked, her eyes searching mine.
"Y-Yeah. Just tired," I said, hoping she wouldn't see right through me.
She nodded, though the little crease between her eyebrows told me she wasn't entirely convinced. "If you say so."
As we walked to class together, I couldn't stop glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. There was something about the way she carried herself—so confident and self-assured—that made me wonder what she saw in someone like me.
When we got to class, Akemi was already there, sitting in her usual spot near the back. She gave me a once-over as I walked in, her sharp eyes narrowing slightly. Akemi's always had this way of making you feel like she can see right through you, and today was no exception.
"Morning, Gabu," she said, her tone casual but her gaze anything but.
"Morning," I replied, trying not to sound as nervous as I felt.
Akemi raised an eyebrow, her lips quirking into a faint smirk. "You seem… distracted."
I forced a laugh, waving her off. "Just tired. Didn't sleep well."
"Hm." She didn't sound convinced, but she didn't push it—yet.
Class was a blur. I couldn't focus on anything the teacher was saying, my thoughts too consumed by the way Akemi kept glancing at me and the fact that Rei was sitting just a few seats away. Every now and then, I'd catch Rei looking at me, and she'd flash me this soft, almost shy smile that made my heart race.
By the time lunch rolled around, I was a bundle of nerves. Haru was already at our usual table when I got there, chattering away about some new TV show she'd started watching. Haru's energy is the complete opposite of Akemi's. Where Akemi is calm and calculating, Haru is like a burst of sunshine—bright, loud, and impossible to ignore.
"Gabu! You're late!" Haru said, pouting dramatically as I sat down. "I was about to eat your share of the fries."
"You mean my fries?" Rei cut in, raising an eyebrow at Haru.
Haru stuck her tongue out at Rei, earning a laugh from everyone at the table.
Akemi, however, wasn't laughing. She was watching me again, her gaze sharp and calculating. "You've been acting weird lately, Gabu," she said suddenly, cutting through the noise of Haru and Rei's playful banter.
My heart sank.
"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to sound casual, though my voice came out a little too high-pitched.
Akemi tilted her head, her expression unreadable. "You're just… different. I don't know. It's like you're hiding something."
Rei's hand brushed against mine under the table—a small, subtle gesture, but enough to make my cheeks burn.
"I'm not hiding anything," I said quickly, probably too quickly.
Akemi didn't look convinced, but she didn't press further. "If you say so," she said, her tone neutral but her eyes still watching me closely.
The rest of lunch passed in a blur, though I could feel Akemi's gaze on me the entire time. When the bell rang, I practically bolted out of my seat, mumbling something about needing to grab a book from my locker. Rei followed me, her presence a comforting balm to my frayed nerves.
"She's going to figure it out, isn't she?" I asked as soon as we were out of earshot.
Rei leaned against the lockers, her expression calm. "Maybe. But is that such a bad thing?"
I stared at her, my heart racing. "Rei, I don't know if I'm ready for… for everyone to know."
Rei reached out and took my hand, her touch grounding me. "I get it, Gabu. You don't have to explain. We'll take it one step at a time, okay?"
Her words were so simple, yet they meant everything to me.
The rest of the day passed in a haze. Akemi didn't bring up her suspicions again, but I could feel the weight of her questions lingering in the air. As much as I wanted to tell her the truth, to let her in on the thing that was making my heart so full and fragile at the same time, I couldn't. Not yet.
For now, all I can do is hold onto this fragile happiness and hope that when the time comes, I'll be brave enough to face whatever comes next.
Love,
Gabu