Dear Diary,
I don't even know where to start. My mind is a whirlwind, my heart's racing, and I feel like I'm floating and sinking all at once. Everything… everything I've been terrified of, everything I've been dreaming about—it all happened today.
It all started when Rei texted me out of nowhere: "Hey, can we talk? Meet me after school, near the big oak tree."
My stomach did a somersault. Rei never texts me outside of group projects or casual banter. This felt serious, and the way she phrased it—"can we talk?"—made my chest tighten with anxiety.
The rest of the school day was a blur. I couldn't focus on anything. I must have zoned out at least a dozen times in class because Suzy nudged me at one point and whispered, "Earth to Gabu, you okay?"
I wasn't. Not even close.
When the final bell rang, I grabbed my bag and practically ran to the oak tree. I stood there, clutching my diary like a lifeline, trying to calm my racing thoughts.
What if she found out? What if someone told her? What if she read something? The possibilities spiraled in my mind until I felt dizzy.
And then I saw her. Rei, walking toward me with that easy, confident stride of hers, her hands in her jacket pockets, her hair catching the soft glow of the setting sun. She looked… beautiful. She always does, but today, it felt like time slowed just for her.
"Hey, Gabu," she said, her voice softer than usual.
"H-Hi," I stammered, my palms sweating. I tried to smile, but I'm pretty sure it came out more like a grimace.
She leaned against the tree, looking at me with those deep, thoughtful eyes of hers. For a moment, neither of us spoke, the silence stretching between us like a fragile thread.
Finally, she broke it. "You've been avoiding me."
I froze. "I-I haven't—"
"You have," she interrupted gently, her tone more concerned than accusatory. "Did I do something wrong? If I did, tell me. I don't want to… I mean, I care about you, Gabu."
Her words hit me like a freight train. I care about you. What did that mean? Did she mean it like I care about all my friends, or something more? My heart was practically screaming at this point, and I felt like I was standing on the edge of a cliff.
"No, Rei, you didn't do anything wrong," I said, my voice shaking. "It's me. I just—"
I stopped. My throat felt tight, and tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. This was it, wasn't it? The moment I'd been dreading and hoping for all at once.
"Just what?" she asked, stepping closer. Her gaze was so intense, so earnest, it felt like she could see right through me.
I clutched my diary tighter, the leather cover warm under my fingers. "I've been scared," I whispered.
"Scared of what?" Her voice was so gentle, it broke something inside me.
"Of this. Of you. Of… of how I feel." The words spilled out before I could stop them, my voice cracking with every syllable. "I don't know how to act around you because you make me feel things I don't understand, and it's terrifying, and I'm so scared that if you knew, you'd hate me, and—"
"Gabu," she said softly, cutting me off.
I looked up, tears streaming down my face, and saw her smiling—not teasing or smug, but warm and kind and so heartbreakingly beautiful.
"You don't have to be scared," she said, her voice steady. "I already know."
My breath caught. "You… what?"
"I know," she repeated, stepping even closer until she was right in front of me. "I've known for a while. I just didn't know how to bring it up because I didn't want to push you or make you uncomfortable."
I blinked, my brain struggling to process her words. "You… you don't hate me?"
"Hate you?" She laughed softly, shaking her head. "Gabu, how could I hate you when I feel the same way?"
The world stopped. I stared at her, my heart pounding so hard I thought it might burst. "You… you feel the same?"
She nodded, her cheeks tinged pink. "Yeah. I've been trying to figure out how to tell you, but every time I tried, I chickened out. I didn't want to ruin what we already had, but… I couldn't keep pretending either."
I didn't realize I was crying until Rei reached out and wiped a tear from my cheek. Her touch was soft, her hand warm against my skin.
"So… what do we do now?" I asked, my voice barely more than a whisper.
She smiled, her hand lingering on my cheek. "I think we take it one step at a time. Together."
And then, before I could overthink it, before I could panic or second-guess myself, Rei leaned in and pressed her forehead against mine.
In that moment, everything else faded away. The world, the fear, the uncertainty—it all disappeared, leaving only the two of us under the oak tree, our breaths mingling in the crisp evening air.
For the first time, Diary, I feel like I can breathe. Like I don't have to hide anymore.
This isn't the end of the story—it's just the beginning. A new beginning.
Love,
Gabu