6:08pm... Third mainland bridge, Lagos, Nigeria...
With scowling expression, he facepalmed, seemingly bored, uninterested and feeling dizzy, being cooped up in a traffic jam for almost thirty minutes.
"Sigh, I should have boarded one of those BRT buses instead of this Danfo*, at least there, I'll be much more comfortable than this stuffed bus ". He mumbled.
Few minutes later, he dozed off, he placed his head on the glass pane of the bus and enjoyed the slumber. Wrinkling his face after some time, he could feel something touch his lips, it seems to be from outside.
After being uncomfortable with the disturbance, he forcefully opened his eyes, only to see a lady around his age kissing him. He panicked.
"Argh!!! The f*ck!!!" He cursed and immediately jacked his head backwards and cleaned his mouth with his hands.
He brought his head outside the bus window, he watched the girl run away from the bus he boarded, she waved and threw a kiss at him.
The boy doesn't like to be disturbed when sleeping, he became infuriated and enraged, his head was red in anger and fumes erupts from his ears.
"Argh!!! You bastard, why you'd kiss me, that was my first kiss you werey*, why don't you wait you wretched child, arrrrgh!!!" He yelled angrily.
As he was shouting full of rage, a hand from nowhere gave him a hot hand printed slap on the face, his anger immediately blew off, his face was now full of shock and perplexity.
He watched the one who slapped him wave at him but he was speechless to even say a word. He brought his head back into the bus full of perplexity but it soon turn into embarrassment when the whole passengers in the bus bursts into laughter as they saw the drama unfold.
"Hahahaha, dude, are you a lagosian, I don't think so, 'cause a person from Lagos wouldn't be caught like that, oh god, this is too funny, hahaha ". A passenger who is a man beside him said.
"I must tweet this, the internet must hear about this craziness ". A lady said, typing on her phone and smiling wildly.
"Many inhabitants of Lagos are crazy, boy, you just earned an experience on how to live as a lagosian ". A middle aged woman said.
"Don't worry kid, you might be a noob in the streets of Lagos but as time goes on, you'll no longer be a pushover, hahahaha ". The man beside him said.
Kiitan, the boy with the unfortunate incident scowled and sat quietly still with a darkened face. Kiitan is an introvert but he is no pushover, he said nothing to the mocking passengers.
However, with the corner of his eyes he noticed that the man by his side was holding a snack of egg rolls, he smirked.
' I'm a noob in Lagos you say, I'll show you noob, hehehe '. He thought.
' Brian the brain, what tactics should we use to steal that snack off his hands '. Kiitan monologued in his mind.
An imaginary entity that resembles a brain appeared beside him on his shoulder and said:
"Brian the brain here at your service as always, host ". The imaginary entity said.
"Hi Brian, where have you been all this while". Kiitan asked.
"Inside of you, kiitan, I'm your brain, I'm always with you, silly ". Brian the brain said.
"Right, now, how should we steal that snack". He asked.
"There's no need to steal the snack, we could just munch on it when he least expects ". Brian answered.
"Alright, let's wait for the perfect moment ".
Some minutes later, the bus successfully got out of the traffic and was moving smoothly along the road, until...
*BASH!!!*
The bus hits a pothole and forcefully made every passenger jerk and startled. Seeing this as a perfect opportunity, he used that chance and brought his head to the man's hand where he held the snack.
Without any hesitation, he munched twice at the egg rolls then he quickly cleaned his mouth with his tongue to get rid of the evidence.
After balancing from the little shock of the pothole, the man soon realize that his snack has been bitten off, he raised an alarm.
"What!!! What kind of spirit ate my snack?!".
He looked at kiitan suspiciously and asked, "did you eat my snack? ".
"I'm a Lagos noob remember, how would I have the effrontery to do such disdainful and small thievery thing as munching your snack, please leave me be, I'm not in a good mood, don't let me transfer aggression to you ". Kiitan said in a very hushed tone.
The man barely heard what he said but he got the message passed across. He scratched his head, knowing full well what happened to him earlier, he decides not to press any further.
He clicked his tongue and said:
"It seems I'm been shown what Lagos is, and to think l was calling someone noob, is this karma or what ".
The lady who was typing earlier saw all that happened and was beyond mesmerized, kiitan knew she saw him, he looked at her with the corner of his eyes and winked at her.
The lady couldn't even hide her astonished expression, she brought out her phone again and began typing.
"This Lagos and craziness wey be 5 and 6 no be small thing oh, today, when I was in a Danfo, a guy was sleeping in the bus and a lady from outside kissed him, if that wasn't funny enough, out of nowhere, someone gave him a hot peppered slap.
Honestly, I couldn't hide my laughter and so was everyone in the bus. The passengers began calling this guy a Lagos noob and said he would learn as time goes on. If this little drama was not a comedy show in itself, that same guy that got kissed and slapped used an opportunity to eat the snack that was in hands of the passenger beside him when the bus hits a pothole.
My face never cease to laugh. This guy saw me and winked at me, honestly, nah werey* fill this Lagos oh". She typed on her phone and she kept smiling wildly.
Sometimes later, kiitan got to his bus stop and highlighted.
"Mission accomplished Brian". He monologued.
"Of course, it must be successful, we both form an excellent team host". Brian said as he popped out. "Indeed".
After walking for a while, he noticed that Someone was tailing him.
"Brian, you see that person right". Kiitan questioned his imaginary partner.
"Of course, he's been following us ever since we highlighted at the bus stop". Brian said.
"Do you think he wants to do me harm like mug me?". Kiitan said.
"That is not out of the scenerio, in any case, make a run for it ". Brian said to kiitan and he did as told.
The sky was dark and the moon has risen, kiitan has reached his limit, he stopped running and pants heavily, gasping for air. As he was about to continue his journey, with the thought that he has lost his pursuer to the crowd of the city.
He felt the tip of a sharp object, most likely a knife, placed directly at his back. He froze and stopped moving. He raised his hands up into the air instinctively.
"Your life or your belongings". The mugger said.
With sweat running all over his face, he replied without hesitation.
"My belongings, please take it all, take them all!!!".
The man searched his body and took all that seems valuable, however, he seems unsatisfied, like he was looking for something on him specifically, but he couldn't find it, alas, he gave up and left.
"Phew!". Kiitan sighed a relief. After walking a little distance away from where he was robbed, he said:
"It's good to be street smart". He opened his zipper of his trousers and removed the phone hidden there.
When the imaginary brain told him to make a run for it, he was having a feeling that the person tailing him must have stalked him for a long time to know his schedule, but the flaw in his plan was that he made the pursuit a little too obvious to him.
Kiitan carries one of the latest phone brand around. He was quite aware that there would be a lot of prying eyes on him. So, he decides to hide his phone in his groin area where most muggers don't bother to check.
Also, people like him are always underestimated to be street idiots because he is from the suburbs, as well as an introvert.
As he was having an inner jubilation, he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, he checked it out and saw warm red blood oozing out of his body. He widens his eyes in horror. The weapon that was used to stab him was removed and got stabbed again.
Kiitan coughed out blood and fell on his knees.
"You really think I don't know you hid the phone in the groin, I'm a street boy to the core, you cannot fool me easily. I've been eyeing that phone for some weeks now, it's going to fetch me huge amount of money". The mugger said.
Kiitan's eyes starts to dim but he was able to see the face of the mugger. Before he assumes to be fading away, he went to the call log on his phone and clicked ' sweet Mom '.
The mugger could see this, he forcefully took his phone and cut the call. "Calling for help in that state of yours, it would be a miracle if you survive, till then, rest in peace". The mugger said and went away with his phone.
Lying helplessly on the ground, kiitan's eyes has grown dimmer. Rain began to drizzle on him. He smiled wryly with his blood filled mouth and said.
"Brian, I feel so sleepy, my eyes are heavy and slumber is calling me, should I give in".
"Kiitan, no, whatever you do, do not close your eyes, if you do, you'll become unconscious in no time. While at it, cover your wounds with your hands". Brian replied.
"What am I, an asura?! I don't have four arms, I was stabbed from my back to the front of my abdomen, i have four holes inside of me, Brian, I think this is where our chapter ends ". Kiitan said.
He smiled wryly. "Hehe, I wasn't given the chance to say goodbye to my parents and my younger sister... Funbi, even though she can be very annoying, I'm going to miss her. Good night Brian, good night everyone, this is my end". He said as he slowly closed his eyes.
He was giving in to the sweet temptation of slumber. His imaginary friend was sombre, sad and began to tear up. Suddenly, he could see a screen open up to him and his host.
"Kiitan!!! Open your eyes, look!!!" Brian called out but it seems kiitan was long gone.
"Stupid host, *sniff, sniff*, you might have closed your eyes but, I your brain, haven't shut down yet ". He looked at the screen which wrote:
[ Suitable host found... Commence synchronization... Synchronization in progress... 0%.. 8%.. 14%.. 22%.. 36%.. 48%.. 55%.. 62%.. 73%.. 87%.. 91%.. 99%.. 100%... Synchronization complete... Transmigrating host to training world...].
"Kiitan, our chapter is yet to end". Brian smiled in excitement.
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*Danfo: a yellow minibus that carries passengers for a fare as part of an informal transport system in Lagos, Nigeria.
*Werey: (pronounced way-ray) a slang that means acting irrationally or crazy.