The fog was thin, a cold sensation could be felt when it touched my skin and some droplets of water remained on my body.
The fog was filled with moisture.
Cassian was placed on the ground, no longer moving nor mumbling but still alive.
I sat besides him, the sandy ground stuck to my wet clothes.
Fruits.
Lots of them.
They all were placed between us, it was still a miracle that we stumbled upon a safe zone.
I have already filled my stomach, Cassian however..
I crushed a pile of fruits, mostly apples and shoved it down his throat but it didn't go down.
I hate to get my hands dirty but I still had to do it.
He involuntarily gagged and tried to spit it out but we don't want that, do we?
All it did was make him choke.
Now how should I get around this?
I sighed.
Maybe I need crush them a bit more.
And so I did.
I slid it down his throat, my hand remained there until I was sure it went through.
It went past his throat but I don't know if it reached him stomach.
Maybe it got stuck midway and he might be choking right now.
A burden indeed.
A burden I've decided to carry.
I sat cross legged on the ground, the sand was fine and a huge coconut tree rose from the ground.
We were in the Oasis islands, a safe zone.
These islands were small, only 10 to 15 meters long and wide, they had coconut trees which bore fruits instead of coconuts.
These fruits looked similar to their normal counterparts but tasted a bit more sweet.
They were more colourful, shinier, not even a single imperfection could be seen.
Too perfect.
Perfect.
Thousands of such Islands lined up, the 'ocean' these islands resided in were shallow water.
Drinkable water ofcourse.
These islands were perfect lined, not even one small mistake nor deformation and they all looked the same.
I still can't believe it.
Starvation has stopped haunting us.
Finally.
But what about Cassian?
I stared at him, the crushed up fruits might've already reached his stomach and to wash it down I've already forced water down his mouth.
So I only need to wait.
Three sleeps.
Which may equate to three days.
That's how patient I am.
Paranoia is still gripping my brain.
It was strange that we found a safe at a crucial time.
It was too convenient.
The fact that we were on the verge of starvation and somehow stumbled upon here makes me wonder..
Is it luck or something else.
The unnatural silence and the lack of people here is slightly unnerving me.
This place has been deemed safe by the guild itself.
And it might be the paranoia of trying to stay alive playing tricks on my mind.
It has been that way since I met Cassian.
But he has had it worse.
He is still alive though.
I wonder if he can eat himself to stay alive,
His regeneration would get it covered right?
I sighed and crushed more fruits into pulp and picked Cassian back up.
I opened his mouth, saliva slid down, disgusting.
I pressed my hands inside, the wet and warm saliva stained my hands, the inner fleshy walls pressed against my hands as I force fed him.
Just wake up.
********
Consciousness gradually returned, my eyes tried to open.
But no it didn't.
Did I even have eyes?
I don't remember.
I had eyes but I don't how it felt like to have them anymore.
I tried to move, atleast what remained in my memories as 'movement' but no, I couldn't do it.
Why can't I move?
What happened to me..
Didn't they say they would help me escape?
But I declined after hearing their offer, didn't I?
I don't want to be forgotten.
Being forgotten was the only way to escape.
Or so they said.
I declined without even thinking.
But why?
Why is there a feeling of disappointment in me.
Why am I disappointed?
Was I hoping to escape despite the catch of being forgotten.
Did I really hope that would happen?
Really?
When did I hit so low?
When?
I am still able to think clearly no disorientation despite my current predicament.
I have forgotten to move, I have forgotten to speak, to see, to hear.
My body has forgotten all these movements.
However.
I still remember how to hope and dream.
I still know how to cling to them.
So.
Why did I hope to escape by getting erased from memory.
Is that truly hope?
It isn't, right?
Then what is hope?
I don't know.
I don't understand it yet I cling onto it.
No matter how much time I am forced to spend here, I won't surrender.
Not anymore.
I value my ambitions over personal opinions.
But how can hope go against this?
Whatever it is.
I don't have a physical, I'm a lone consciousness, drifting alone in this endless expanse of darkness.
I have long forgotten how the sensation of touch felt like.
I know how it feels but don't remember feeling it.
A confusing dilemma indeed.
My mind was ever active, body not present,
A sweet aftertaste in my mou..
In my what?
Taste?
No, its pain.
Someone slipped their hands into my throat.
Their fingers nails scraped my inner throat, the urge to gag was suppressed by the lack of stamina.
Sensation returned.
Memories returned.
Memories makes a person who they are.
Without Cassian's memories, how can I truly call myself Cassian.
The vague faces of Cillian and his bunch turned clear.
The haunting hunger returned but by a lower degree.
How I missed it.
My hands twitched, albeit a bit clunky.
My first thoughts screamed to struggle, to fully experience my body moving.
To roll, to run or anything.
I just needed to know how sensation truly felt like.
However.
My legs moved on their own.
I didn't notice when.
But I was able to move now.
No notice, no realisation, nothing.
I was just able to move.
Vision still hasn't returned but my body moved on its own, the instincts to keep moving took over as my legs started to move on its own.
The cold air prickled my skin, droplets of water fell on my face.
Was it raining?
********
Callon reeled his wet hand back from Cassian's mouth, his nails scraping against Cassian's throats as a small amount of blood stained his finger tips.
He has fed Cassian for how long?
This might be the eighth time by now.
He still hasn't slept yet, exhaustion has slowly caught on but he had his rest the moment he arrived here.
...
Sticky saliva, disgusting, I shoved my hand into the sand, trying to wipe it away.
It only made the sand stick to my hand.
Disgusting indeed.
But survival is more important that my disgust.
Next pulp.
I took out more fruits, after my rest, the whole time was spent in picking up fruits.
For eating now and for storing.
These fruits won't rot.
They never will.
I tried to pick Cassian up again however he slapped my hands away.
Slapped..
I stared at the hand he slapped away.
I heard someone shuffling and running but my focus was on my hand.
He woke up?
I abandoned the fruits in my hand, Cassian had already ran off into the distance, his footsteps on the sand disoriented, it seems he has lost balance.
He fell alot.
I heard water splashing, I ran towards the sound and there I saw.
Through the eerie and thin fog, a figure kneeled in the shallow waters.
His focus wholeheartedly on his unmoving reflection on the water.
Crying.
He was crying.
Crying to be still alive.
Grateful.
He was grateful.
Grateful l to be still alive.