Two crudely made rib baskets hung from my hands, the skin was dried and the smell of rot never came.
The fog around me was more like mist, the cold seeped into my skin and bones.
Roots surrounded us, infragilis trees truly deserve to be a wonder of the world.
Two blue humanoid lights walked upfront, indifferent as they guided us.
A human, quiet and restrained, followed me behind.
The fog veiled his figure, only a faint silhouette and the sound of crunching roots signified his presence.
My shoulders were sore from all this walking,
The grove filled with infragilis trees were a safe place.
A safe zone.
It was yet another safe zone.
The silence was soothing, both of us were left to our thoughts as we walked through the fog.
Despite the lack of resources, I feel at peace.
It felt safer than the oasis islands.
It was perfect, it had everything such as food, water, shelter and anything for survival.
Yet it felt unsafe.
My paranoia told me to flee.
And flee I did.
Alongside Cassian, he too, had the same feeling about the oasis islands.
So maybe it was better to leave.
Staying there and leaving from there was a gamble.
Staying there was an uncertainty.
Leaving there and letting the fog choose your next destination was also, a uncertainty.
I chose the one which made me feel safe the most.
And it didn't disappoint.
Cassian's cooperative attitude was also helping.
He agreed to leave.
The only time he questioned me was when I informed him of my decision to leave the lands of return.
Which suprised me.
He wasn't scared of leaving the safe zone instead he was confused on leaving the unknown lands filled with danger.
Something a normal person wouldn't have done or agreed.
After all, they would rather rot inside a safe zone rather than heading out into the dangers that almost made them go insane.
They would want to stay inside their comfort zone.
They would feel and might seem safe.
However.
When they step into the real world, when their perspective widens, they will realise.
They will regret.
They would wish to turn back time, to have one more chance.
But no one would grant such a wish.
They, too, are busy with their life.
They are regretting, enjoying, grieving, mourning and detaching as they go on with their everyday life.
They have their own struggles.
They won't even glance at you even if you beg,
Cry of even threaten.
It's not because they're bad people.
It's just because they don't have time.
Time for relaxing.
Time for slothing.
Rest is paradise for them.
But why?
Everyone deserves rest.
But why are they held back from doing so?
They have to live after all.
Rest is something used to regain energy.
'Resting' isn't enough to live.
It's a part of it.
A good part.
An important part.
The life of a mortal is constant cycle of emotions, sufferings and finally salvation.
They wake up, eat, work, have momentary fun,
Return home, sleep and repeat.
And at the end, when their time is running out they will ponder.
And these ponderings always have something in common.
Regret.
They will regret.
Regret huh?
I don't really consider it as a negative emotion.
I glanced behind, at the silhouette following me behind.
His question still lingered in my mind.
In my heart.
Have I ever felt regret?
Have I ever regretted?
Yes, I have.
That is a stupid question.
Everyone in their life has regretted.
They have regretted many decisions.
It's not a one time thing.
It's a part of the circle known as life.
After all regret is memorable.
It makes you ponder on your failures, embarassments and weaknesses.
Failures makes you stronger.
No, the regret you receive from it does.
But you have to work for it.
Simply receiving it won't do.
Regret can pull you into the deepest pits of failure and depression.
But it can also be your driving motivation for success.
As for me?
Regret is simply regret.
It's not motivating nor depressing.
'What if I did that?'
'Why did I do that?'
These two questions.
Only these remained during regret.
Nothing else.
Regret.
I stopped, looked behind as the silhouette got closer.
I waited until his face was visible, where his expressions could be seen.
"Cassian, what is your biggest regret in life?"
He stopped, my eyes scanned his face intensely.
And all I could see was..
Confusion.
He was confused.
"Why are you asking such a question now?"
His voice was confused and taken aback by the sudden question.
He asked back, I sighed and just turned around.
Cassian didn't react to abrupt departure, he just stood there confused.
Infuriating.
So, he can ask me about my regrets but when I do, it's confusing.
I really don't understand how his mind works.
I do understand it but sometimes I don't.
We are similar yet so different.
"Forget it."
I don't want him to question my actions right now.
He is difficult to get through.
Speaking to him feels like speaking to a brick wall.
Sometimes he agrees, sometimes he may answer and sometimes he doesn't understand what you're talking about.
His aspect on socialising is on the lower end of the list.
Is he socially awkward or does he not like speaking to others?
Wait, aren't they both the same?
Whatever.
What was there to be confused about my question?
I mused as I crushed the roots under my foot.
But something seemed wrong, their resistance was a bit higher than before and they were thicker.
Which means we are close to the exit.
It can't mean danger considering this is a safe place.
A safe place that makes me feel safe.
Unlike the oasis islands.
Everyone has regrets in their life and there is one that would never be forgotten by them.
Their biggest regret.
A past that haunts them till death.
Even accompanying them into the afterlife.
So what was my biggest regret?
Was it venturing into the unknown lands of no return?
Was it letting my greed take over and entering that temple?
Or was it accompanying this disturbed man who is slowly losing and gaining parts of himself?
None.
My biggest regret was murder.
Not due to guilt nor empathy.
It was because I got caught.
Chained.
Tortured.
Saved.
Banished.
Chained by people who knew the truth yet kept quiet.
Tortured by the people who knew the truth and were part of it.
Saved by the man I despised the most.
Banished by the man I despised the most.
My regret was getting caught.
That's my biggest regret.
My biggest regret in life.
Footsteps stumbled behind me, a human silhouette caught upto my pace.
He, too, had baskets made from humans ribs in his hands.
I glanced at him, he was staring at me.
I showed no cracks in my face, his face was full of emotions.
I was relaxed, he was tensed.
"It.."
His voice was soft, a softness that didn't seem weak.
"It was trying to abandon my dreams in the hopes of survival."
Each word was clear despite the emotions expressed on his face.
His face was tired, exhaustion and his eyes..
His eyes were sulky.
But I knew this wasn't the only emotions he was feeling.
When you regret, a wave of emotions follow it.
Disgust, anger, envy, denial, and finally resignation.
His face showed none but it showed all.
He was still vulnerable.
Was.
And is.
It's not bad.
Vulnerability is good.
It makes you feel alive.
Invincibility and perfection isn't something mortals can't achieve.
It's what makes us 'mortals'.
And that is good.