Thin fog surrounded us, the smell of burning wood into the darkness.
I leaned back, the sound of crunching wood reached my ears as I stared at the burning fire infront of me.
The light provided by it illuminated Callon's sleeping face, it was peaceful and quiet.
I glanced around and all I could see were roots.
Brittle and ancient roots.
They stretched endlessly into the fog. Some pillars of roots rose into the ceiling, supporting it.
The pillars were crude, piles of roots weaving together with one another to form these pillars.
The piles of roots thinned the closer they got to the ceiling.
The ceiling was of course, roots.
They were thin and gnarly.
This was a grove.
An underground grove.
And these weren't just roots they are trees.
Infragilis trees.
Their wood was known to be unbreakable and it was abundant in the lands of no return.
You just have to be lucky to find a grove.
It was cold, extremely so. The fire gave little warmth and yet Callon somehow slept through it.
A surprise indeed.
The infragilis trees are brittle and they can only show their worth when they come in contact with sunlight.
They are highly sought after.
Which means we are rich.
However we don't have anything to carry these roots.
I exhaled, thin mist escaped my mouth as my hand rose, fingers closed around one of my ribs and they pulled.
No, they didn't.
They stopped.
I stopped.
Pain.
Due to pain I stopped.
However the pain vanished a moment later.
I sighed and closed my eyes, the heat emanating from the fire hitting my face.
We burned the roots for warmth.
We had already cut off its connection with the other roots, it was surrounded by nothing but ground.
Rock hard ground with soil.
We don't know how much we dug or how much distance we seperated it from the other roots.
We stopped it when we felt it was safe.
I was leaning against a pillar and trying my best to make myself comfortable.
However.
The noise of breaking roots, the dust and particles releasing from it and the fact that this wasn't the most comfortable place to sleep stopped me from doing so.
I opened my eyes once again, exhaustion still clung to them but I still forced them open.
The burning fire was on its last leg, the brittle roots wouldn't last for long and we had to restock it frequently.
That's the reason why one of us was sleeping while the other was still awake.
It's not like the 'bed' we're sleeping on would stop me from doing so, it just made it uncomfortable.
If the fire runs out we're dead.
The grove is deep underground and it is extremely cold.
And it's not from the grove.
The coldness was caused due to the fog.
The fog was frosty.
It was too cold.
I sighed, the temporary silence and rest felt odd.
It was odd indeed.
I felt safe.
It wasn't the false safety that I felt during the vision and the forest incident.
It felt real.
It felt comfortable.
However.
I have lost a lot.
Just for this temporary shelter.
A safe shelter.
A completely not so safe shelter.
What have I lost by now?
I lost my armor.
I lost my plaque given by the guild.
I lost my first ever findings.
I lost my obligation for legacy.
And as time passes I'm slowly losing my hesitation.
I stared absent-mindedly at the ceiling, the heat from the fire keeping me awake.
My feet were bare, they were numb.
What have I gained?
I gained power.
I gained self awareness, no, my self awareness rose.
I gained appreciation for myself, for my identity.
I gained experience.
I gained curiosity.
And finally I still have my hopes and ambitions left.
So did I gain more or did I lose more?
Does it matter?
Even if I gained more, I still lost a lot.
Even if I lost more, my gains could replace them.
Balance.
It was a tie between them.
I neither lost more nor gained more.
They're balanced.
So what haven't I gained and what haven't I lost.
What remains of the naive adventurer who just left Astria?
Fear.
Fear still remains.
Whether it was the fear of the unknown or the fear or death.
My biggest fear is being forgotten.
Pain.
Pain remains in my heart but not in body.
It is a reality check, it stops me from going too far.
But how long can it last?
Hesitation.
It is slowly fading.
How can a human without hesitation be considered human.
Ambition.
As strong as ever.
It is the only reason I haven't turned back.
Friendship and family.
I consider Callon a friend no matter how wrong that decision is.
I glanced at his peaceful expression as he slept.
I consider him a friend.
Despite his questionable morals.
Cillian might be waiting for my return, right?
A return that may never happen considering my dreams.
He might be at least waiting for my letter.
The cold got closer and closer, the light dimmed and the warmth started to fade.
I stopped, thoughts won't keep the fire burning,
Do they?
I stood up, my body felt heavy and I stumbled which almost made me fall.
My body felt heavy, the cold remained as indifferent as ever and our fire was starting to die out.
The fire has started to die out.
It was our hope in this grove.
It was our fiery hope.
It is a bit of an stretch considering Callon would light them up again but I don't want to be an inconvenience towards him.
I stretched my hands into the air, I only stopped when I heard satisfied pops from my spine.
I glanced around, Sero was standing near me, just beside the pillar and similar to him Callon's wandering soul stood beside him.
They were silent and unmoving.
Lifeless.
They were lifeless.
I focused back on the task, the fire was dying out and more roots are needed.
Which were easy to find.
They were everywhere.
I turned back, the pillar I previously leaned on came to my sight.
I had an idea.
An idea that may be brilliant or outright stupid.
And I got to work.
...
I snuggled back into the pillar, however more deeper.
The fire burned brightly, the fuel was restocked from my pillar.
I snuggled deeper, a small nest-like hole was dug by me.
Despite how much the roots grinded against my skin or how uncomfortable they felt, they felt good.
Not physically.
In my heart, I felt at peace.
Comfortable.
Drowsy.
But I can't sleep now.
I just need wait until Callon wakes up.
Wait..
For how long?
Until he wakes up.
I will wait.