As the smell of burning wood welcomed me home,I met my mother out sitting on the pavement, immediately all thoughts where gone and the demons within me took refuge.
With all seriousness and respect I greeted my mum, as I waited for her response sweat began to gather like clouds in my eyes this feeling is what we Africans from the west call the fear of mothers love. You won't understand until you experienced it, no graphic image or story telling could do justice to what I was about too experience...it felt as if I was going to be baptized in vines of strokes.. My mother was the kind of person who preferred her kids at places she can be sure of , and in this life only two of such place could exist "our home and the church" so me even going out of this timeline structure was one and the other was coming late home, just as Jesus said on the cross I also did say "it is finished". All of a sudden every where became silent and nothing could be heard,but along the silent came my mother's voice saying where you coming from? Hearing this alone was the beginning of my death match the stage was set and the kombat tournament was about to begin, and I said "I went to my friends shop the one who repairs coil engines.. as I waited for her reply the weight of the world was upon my shoulders every movement she made, made me wonder if that was the one leading to the thunder clap that would grace my cheek; and she said " you didn't see the time right ,if you wanted to learn at his place why didn't you say any thing about it" the weight on my shoulders where lifted and my demons began too wonder if I was at the right house ..it was strange I'd never experienced this kind of punishment before, it was soo painful.. the fact that I wasn't punished made me feel warm and soo calm that it was unpleasant in our line of work you know( occupation- black sheep of the family full time course). Ad I stepped into the house I noticed the grasses had been leveled and food was almost ready knowing too well my kid brother was too much of a baby to get any job done, I knew it was the magic hands of my mother at work , she is like flower in Desert, Eagle on Mountains and the love of my life. Not wanting to stree he any further , I took up my bucket as I embark on a quest to find the lost waters of the wishing well, just joking, it had already been 4 years and we still could afford to repair our water pump so I the I the black sheep was also their rain god charged with the duty of providing waters for the land (just my house please) .
It was now 7pm and dark outside the power was back on so we all tuned in for some time with our kdrama series. The food was ready and my mom was eating she told me too scratch her back as usual in my part of the world ... I did with the hope of getting extra meal in my black hole of a stomach it's like I can never be filled.. well big boys do need too grow right?? Don't worry it rhetorical you don't need to answer that,as expected she left the food and told me too eat saying "they used food to swear for you" it was a statement she would make everytime I wanted more portions than I'm given. As I began the battle against the plate of beans she left behind the power went out but that didn't stop me I was determined to finish what she started(the poor beans) after all I knew my mouth from my plate so it was no struggle for me and then it happened .. the soft but whaling sound of my mother's voice like unto animal that cried out in its last moments, called out too my sister and I immediately forfeited my battle with the beans and when along with my sister ,on getting there my mum could hardly breath and was asking my sister too call for help from our neighbors, I was scared to hell shit I'd never seen my mother like that it was the first time for me but not for my sister .. I'd been told many time that she'd had such encounters with the man in black but never have I seen it .. in my own shallow mind I began to beg God for her life I was scare to death and I promised never too sin again .
Our neighbors came in and helped her out towards the hospital or clinic it was more of a building with drugs in it, but we were desperate and I was worried sick and asked myself what will i do without this woman and then it happened the once silent demons came out of hiding and started to chant their thoughts in my head saying the money in her bags you could take them , or her phone yes her phone could be yours;as if my mother in pain wasn't enough my mind was taking over and I didn't know what too do .
It was bright and cheap but we had no option my neighbors took care of the bills to start her treatments you know that part of the movies when you have a patient but no money for the bills and they don't attend too you instead they say we are sorry we can't help you ... that would have been the case for us .. but my neighbor brought out her clinic card and paid some bills before those people even touched her skin. After check her blood pressure and sugar level they wanted to start immediate treatment because she had a high count on both levels .
Now inside what should be a ward for patients we all got inside with her as non would leave her side. Believe me there is nothing more frustrating than the feeling of being useless as I looked upon my mother's eyes and I couldn't help but panic because the liveliness that I was knew was no longer there .. right there against the man in black she fought for her life. The doctors attended to her breathing first and gave her drips to calm he down after which they gave her an oxygen mask to help.. she had just been given an antibiotics when I heard the voices in my head say ... "you think it's going too be fine ? Look at her .. look at her" as I raised my head up I began to noticed she was uncomfortable constantly touching her stomach and then she said it.."my stomach is hot" and she shouted "haaaaaa" with a little space in between "haaaaaa" I was too much of a coward too watch any further so I stepped out for just 5 seconds I thought my mind seeing things made it worst but I couldn't stay away from her ,she was the joy of my life and a constant in every of my life equations, so I stepped back in and then I met it .... the moments that would structure my life and the way I lived as she refused too lay down her sat on the bed and bounced from her upper body saying "Noooooo" "Noooooooooo" the second a little longer than the first and then she laid down just as that exact moment my mind made a replica or those words saying "Noooooo Noooooooooo," a silent but shaming chuckle followed as it brought back my thoughts of the day saying "now it is Finished"