As I journeyed away from the crowd it,I turned and looked at a distance to see the look on there faces once more and that was when I realized... I barely knew anyone who was there trying to be supportive.. as I was there in the garments of my thoughts the voices said too me "humans being human, they aren't there because they care they are there for the thrill and the story behind it" knowing for once we were synced in thoughts and there was a mutual understanding which was "humans are all pathetic" they act all sympathetic but their actual intentions are of self interest.
I came upon the lane which was called road and it was there I made a choice would you turn back, stay still or move forward, as I placed my legs on the darken cold granites that were the bedding of the roads the sound of the incoming vehicles welcomed me into a new world with their lights that flashs to remind me that nothing shines forever, all of a sudden it was like in the movies ( "I hear the call of the elders") on that last moment before you take your place amongst the ancestors the only thing I could see was faces and flashes of light, hold that thought.... it was all in my head, knowing I was at the breaking point of the world about to decoder the face of my maker and with no fear for the man in black, I was sent home with a family friend so the thoughts of death could not prevail as she held me close and didn't let go her hands firmly wrapped around me like clothing set aside to keep a child from cold,... on getting to the bus stop and the way too my house the voices in my head were overpowered my the sarcastic sympathy of the towns people with different people saying things like "it is well" "don't worry things will be fine" non of this was more annoying as the one I can never forget that I still hold to use against them when they shall lose someone or die,. They said too me "Why are you crying? Don't you know she is in a better place, she has finished her journey here and as began another" my heart blazed in anger as my tongues thirt for words but found non ... it was indeed an unexplainable frustration but I came to a conclusion she die because of me and the fact that our standard of living was low , I vowed to become rich and place back the shame on our cursed poverty....
As if that wasn't enough, my wrestling earlier had let me looking like one who had just survived the "Hungers Games" with a tiger .. as I presented myself with a shirt torn with undefined stripes it was like a custom made madness...
Now am home and things don't look good nothing feels right, the voices in my head won't talk to me, the loneliness enveloped me as everything I see and touched reminded me of her.