I rush Jeremy out the door as soon as he finishes shutting the store down. I'm sure it seemed peculiar to him that I was so insistant, but I had no time to really care about it.
Will is standing in the middle of the room when I get back inside, wiping his hands on a cloth.
"Do you need me to get you any other tools or anything?" I ask.
"No thanks."
"Well, do you need me to help?"
I'm slightly concerned that he's no longer doing anything.
"Nope," he says, giving me very little to work with.
My brow creases, why is he just standing there?
"Do you not know how to fix it or something?," I ask him.
He throws the cloth down on one of the shelves, a relaxed smile sits on his face as he tilts his head towards where the leak was.
"It's fixed."
"You fixed it? Already? There's no way!"
I march my way over in disbelief, if he's managed to fix this, then I'm the King of England because I don't believe it for a second.
The water isn't on yet, so I can't be sure, but the piece that was loose and spraying water is definitely tighter.
"What did you do?," I ask, curious to know how he even knows anything about plumbing in the first place.
"I tightened the bolt that the plumber forgot." His eyes light up with a twinkle of mischief as he breaks into a smile.
"Seriously?" I ask, "Did you know that's all that was wrong before you said you could fix it?"
"Maybe, now sit."
He points at a little stool that's placed near him.
Ignoring his demand, I argue instead.
"Will! I could have kept the store open!"
"Oh well," he says with a shrug, "It's too late now."
"I still need to get the place cleaned up," I grumble, shuffling towards the seat.
"Humour me," he says, "then I'll help you. It's not as bad as it looks Isobel, it never is."
Wishing I had his outlook, I slump myself down onto the stool, still not sure that I'm ready for this conversation.
"Can we talk about what happened between us?," Will asks.
Wow, he's really wasting no time here.
I have to look away from him. I can't even begin to describe the mixed feelings I have about that kiss. How do I put into words just how much I wanted it to happen and how devastatingly ashamed of myself I am at the same time? Despite Jamies actions, at a basic level, I know it was wrong.
"I shouldn't have let it happen," I mumble, picking away the skin around my nail beds nervously.
"Yes, you should have. Because you wanted to kiss me, just as much as I wanted to kiss you. We both know it, so don't act like it was nothing Isobel."
"It wasn't nothing," I say, "I know that, and I wouldn't insult you by saying otherwise. But it still shouldn't have happened, and it never can again."
"Is that because you don't want it to, or because you're afraid of him?"
"It's because it can't. I'm not willing to put anyone at risk anymore. It was stupid to do it in the first place."
I can feel him watching me, but I'm afraid that if I look up, every single thing I'm feeling will spill out.
"What did he do Izzy?," he asks
"Nothing." I almost choke on the lie.
"Don't hide this from me," he says. "Only a few weeks ago you were adamant that you were deciding things for yourself, you chased me from a restaurant right in front of him, and now you're afraid to look at me. What happened?"
Why does he care so much? It doesn't matter what happened or what didn't happen. What matters is how I handle things going forward, and if I want an easy life with Jamie, I have to stop finding myself in positions like this with Will.
Hunkering down in front of me, he places a hand on my knee.
"Isobel, you can tell me. I won't do anything rash if you do, but I need you to know that you can talk to me about it," he says. "The only thing I care about here is you."
I nod my head as tell tale tears begin to sting my eyes. Will squeezes my leg, needing the truth.
"Did he hit you?"
As the words leave his mouth, I find myself wishing that was all that happened, and then it dawns on me just how sick that is, because none of this should be happening. I shouldn't be wishing for lesser punishments, and I shouldn't be yearning for a life with someone else either.
I want to tell him, but I can't bring myself to say it. Unable to control the river of emotions I've been holding back any longer, I break into this deafening sob as I bury my face into my hands. Will pulls me to his chest, allowing my cries to take over.
I replay what Jamie did to me in my mind, sobbing even harder when I think about how close it came to something he couldn't come back from.
"He's going to kill me Will."
My words are just about audible, but I feel him stiffen when he hears them.
He leans back, holding my shoulders as I hang my head.
"What do you mean? What did he do?"
I lift my eyes to meet his, my hands shaking as I reach for the neck of my sweater, pulling it down just enough for him to see where Jamie had his hands.
"Jesus Christ," he says as he reaches out and touches the bruises, letting his fingers gently brush over them. "Why?"
I can't land the guilt of the real reason on him, so I simply shrug my shoulders. "Why does he ever do it?"
The lines around his eyes crinkle with concern. "Did this happen the night you were at the bar? Was it because of what happened between me and him?"
"I don't know, he was drunk. He was so angry when we got home, then it all just spiraled out of control."
Will runs his hand up my neck, bringing his other one to do the same before cradling my head in his hands. He presses his forehead to mine. He knows exactly why it happened.
"You cannot stay there Izzy," he says, "you have to leave."
"I can't," I croke as tears silently continue to fall. He's asking me to do the impossible.
"There's nothing left there for you, he will never ever be the person you want him to be. Please, you need to listen, let me help you."
All of the threats Jamie made against me and those I love run through my mind on a loop, sending a chill through me.
"You don't understand Will, I know now that he won't change," I tell him, "I'm not waiting on it anymore. I don't want to be with him, but he has all of the control, there's nothing else I can do, I have to stay."
He frowns at me, tilting his head to one side, "Make me understand that Izzy."
I shudder as I begin to recount the things Jamie said.
"He told me he'd kill me if I tried to leave again, and that if someone helped... whoever... he'd… god, I don't even want to say it."
The heaviness in my chest completely weighs me down as I try to control my sobs. The more I think about all of the things that Jamie said, the more I come to accept that I wont ever get away from him. Even if I save every bit of money I make, I can't go, because I'll never be able to trust him with those I leave behind.
Will isn't ready for me to give up though.
"Izzy, he doesn't have to know who helps, he doesn't even have to know where you are!"
"He'll find out Will, he always does. And that's beside the point, I can't do that to the people around me. I can't put anyone in harms way, not Sarah, not the girls, and especially not you. He's already just looking for an excuse where you're concerned."
"I can handle myself Izzy," Will says, "the last thing I am is afraid of him. He prays on people that can't defend themselves, that's not me. He's the coward."
It's clear to me now that Will has absolutely no idea just how dangerous Jamie is.
"It's not just him Will," I explain, "it's his father too, he has endless amounts of money that he'll use it to find me, whatever he wants he gets, using whatever means available. What use am I to anybody if I'm dead?"
Will takes both of my hands, trying to still them from shaking.
"So what's your alternative here Isobel?," he asks. "You stay with him in the hope that he doesn't do anything? Accepting that you're the collateral if he's in a bad mood? You can't honestly think I'm about to leave here knowing that you're going to live like that."
"You don't have a choice."
"We all have choices Izzy, you included."
I'm fighting a losing battle here. I know he just wants what's best, but I don't know how to make him see that this is it. This is as good as it's going to get.
"I don't have that luxury Will," I say, "he's made sure of that. Between my own stupidity and his manipulation, he now holds all of the cards. All I can do now is tow the line."
"He doesn't own you Izzy, despite whatever he fills your head with! How far are you going to let him take this huh? How long do you think you can take his shit for? Why not go to the police?"
My eyes roll as my scoff reverberates around the room.
"Are you kidding me? Do you think I stand a chance against him or his father? I have nothing Will, I spent every penny I had to go back and study, and now even that's up to him. All I have to do is make one wrong move and he can take it away."
"Izzy, I have money, if that's all this is about then I can give you whatever you need. You have options."
"I don't want your money Will, whatever you have won't solve this. Staying is the safest option."
"For who?," he says exasperated. "Not you!" Will drops my hands as he stands and runs his fingers through his hair with frustration.
"No, you're right," I reply, "maybe not for me. But for my sister, my family, for Annie, even for you. At least this way I can keep the people I love safe."
"You think any of those people want to see you sacrifice yourself?" he yells. "Do you think I honestly care about anything else when I know you're prepared to be his punching bag for the rest of your life?"
"Better a punching bag than a body bag Will. If I go, that's what I'm facing."
His eyes glisten, I can see how difficult this is for him. He's swimming against the current trying to convince me to change my mind, but I know what I'm doing has the best outcome.
"Izzy, there has to be something," he says, " let me take you away for awhile?"
"So he can hunt us down? And what about school? He's not taking that away from me again, I won't let him ruin it."
Will drops his head, rubbing the back of his neck. I know he thinks he has to make me see sense, but it's not me that's needs to, it's him.
"I can't leave you to him," he says, "I'm sorry, I just can't."
"What are you going to do Will? Drag me out of here kicking and screaming against my wish? You'd be no better than him."
"Don't say that," he retorts, "Don't ever compare me to him." His face twists in disgust at the suggestion.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I know you're nothing like him, that's why you're here, wanting to help, but you have to accept what I'm saying Will. That's all the help I need."
He stares down at me, his hands on his hips and his wet clothes still clinging to his skin.
"And what about this Izzy?" He asks, waving his hand between us.
"This?"
"Yes, this! Us! What about us?"
His voice is pained, and as much as it kills me to do it, I have to be honest.
"There is no us Will," I say, "there can't be."
The room falls oddly mute. I keep my gaze to the floor, unable to stand the thought that I'm hurting him.
"Are you saying that you don't have feelings for me Izzy?" he asks quietly.
We both know the answer to that question. He doesn't need me to lie to him, yet I boldly stand up to face him anyway, prepared to deliver words that I don't mean. I need to convince him that I don't want him, but for some reason, when his eyes meet mine, I can't do it. I can't lie to him about this.
There's no real reason to hide it anymore. Admitted or not, my feelings change nothing about the situation anyway. How I feel for Will changes nothing. That realisation washes over me in a way that makes it almost feel like grief. I'm about to lose someone important to me, and I have no way to stop it.
I close in on him, wanting to retain every detail I possibly can before I send him away.
I soak up the indents on his skin where the muscles in his arm flex, the laughter lines around his eyes, the way he can't help but wear what he's feeling in his expression. I want to remember it all.
But then something registers with me. I realise that if this is it, then instead of lying, I should be making sure that he knows exactly how I feel, because that much is still important.
Looking back into the vast ocean of his eyes as he waits for me to answer, I know there's only one thing that could really show him. So for the last time, I decide to give way to what I want and plant my lips on his.
His mouth instantly responds to mine, needy and gentle, exactly as it was before. As his hands become tangled in my hair, my body melts into his. I could relive this moment from memory every day for the rest of my life and be happy.
I don't feel any guilt. Though the thought of Jamie does appear in my mind, I push it away this time, refusing to let it stop me. The crime should fit the punishment that he already so genourously handed out.
Will and I are both soaked through and filthy, but it doesn't matter, because when I feel his tongue caress my own, I know that nothing could tarnish this moment with him.
His hands slide downward, wrapping themselves around my waist as he pulls me closer to him, setting off a fire inside of me that I can't stop the spread of. I quickly decide that if I have to lose Will today, I want all of him first.
"Come with me," I pant as we surface for air. I take his hand and lead him into the office where it's marginly cleaner, away from all the dust and damp.
Kicking the door closed behind us, I reach for his shirt, tearing away the wet fabric that clings to his body before either of us has a chance to change our mind. I drink in the colourful ink that decorates his arms, running up and over his shoulders. Smaller tattoos decorate his torso randomly here and there, his father's name over his heart, a star down by his hip, a small skull to the side of his ribcage. All things I want to remember.
Mistaking the time I've taken to see him as some form of hesitation, Will attempts to do the gentlemanly thing.
"Izzy, you know we don't have to..."
Although thoughtful, I quickly make it abudantly clear that I want this by removing my own shirt myself. In stark contrast to him, my body is not full of markings of my own selection, but he doesn't look at them. He looks at me.
"Are you sure?," he asks as his fingertips sofly run down the back of my arm. "This isn't the most romantic place in the world."
Banishing all doubt, I wrap my arms around his neck. "I don't need romance Will, I just need you."
Our lips meet again, hungry for all the things we want to give each other. As his hands slowly reach for my jeans, they hover at the waitband, making my body tense with anticipation. Will pulls apart the buttons with ease before running his finger inside the waistline of my panties. I bite my lip as his eyes come to mine once again.
I feel a little embarrassed under his watch, I'm not normally shy about things like this, but it feels different. I turn my head away from him, trying to hide how flushed I am.
Taking his hand from jeans, he brings it to my face, drawing me back to him.
"Don't look away from me," he says, "I want to see you."
I nod my head, my blushes still stinging my cheeks.
"You're beautiful Izzy, do you realise that?"
"I think I'm just nervous," I say, " a good nervous."
"That's alright, we can move at your pace. But there's no way you're taking the pleasure of seeing you unravel away from me, so keep those eyes on me Isobel."
Will sneaks his hand back to the panties he abandoned moments ago. My breath becomes hitched as he presses against me, and my hips move to try and meet him, forcing a soft laugh from his throat.
"You're eager Iz," he teases.
I am, I'm eager for him to make me feel anything close to good.
"I need you," I tell him truthfully. "I want you to touch me Will."
"You've no idea what those words are doing to me right now Izzy," he whispers.
His fingers finally slip beneath the fabric, going straight for the kill. There's no resistance or need to work me over, I was soaking wet before he even touched me.
I gasp as he moves in a slow rhythm, running his fingers over my most sensitive part, the sensation shooting straight to the tips of my toes.
As I chase the rapture, his voice sounds in my ear. "I've wanted to have you from the second I heard that little giggle of yours in this very place Isobel."
Two fingers thrust inside of me while his thumb continues to trace slow circles, forcing me to cry out. I'm half afraid to moan in here, but I can't help myself. Clamping my teeth around my finger, I try to stifle the sound.
Will builds up his momentum, whispering how much he's wanted this as every muscle in my body tightens. This is heaven.
I don't know if it's his words, or what he's doing with his hands, but I find myself entirely entranced. I let go, allowing an explosion of feeling to hit me, coming at me in waves of extasy. I don't think I'll ever be able to let him go.
That familiar tingle takes hold of me, and I pointlessly try to quiet myself as I'm overcome with an indescribable rush of pleasure from his touch. Every inch of my body feels alive, as if it was just waiting for him to bring me to life.
As soon as I finish, Will steps back, shaking his head and leaving me to wonder if I've somehow managed to insult him.
"Is something wrong?," I ask him.
"Yes!" he grunts as he drops to his knees. "I told you once that you'd be screaming my name if I got myself anywhere near you Isobel, and I intend to deliver. I can make you cum like that anytime, right now I want you to see stars."
While he slides my jeans down my legs, the reality of where we are right now makes my skin prickle.
"Wait, what if someone comes?"
He flashes me that mischievous grin once more. "Well that's kind of the aim here Iz don't you think?"
Oh god.
"You know what I mean!" I hiss.
"You said nobody would be here until after closing time, and if it's any earlier than that, all they'll see is you having the time of your life."
What an assured little shit.
Removing my sneakers and socks along with the remainder of my clothes, Will takes a good look at me. I feel on display, and I'm only too grateful that he left my panties on because I don't think I could take his eyes on me otherwise.
"Did you enjoy that?" he asks as he runs a teasing trail of kisses up my thigh and torso.
"Yes" I whimper, feeling my need for him build again.
"Good, but I think you'll enjoy this even more."
Will roughly grips the back of my thighs and lifts me so that my legs straddle his hips before he slowly places me on the edge of the ladies desk. If they knew what I was up to in here they'd kill me.
He hastily undoes his belt and pants. Dropping them down his legs along with his boxer shorts, he's so ready that he doesn't even bother trying to kick them all the way off.
Running his hands through my hair, Will kisses me with a passion I've only ever felt this once. Suddenly I hear the fabric of my underwear rip, and then feel it being pulled from me.
Will gives me a smirk as he holds up the shredded material. "Hope you don't mind me moving these out of the way..."
My eyes widen, they were far from flimsy, or cheap! But I can give him shit for it later, right now it's him that I want.
My mouth explores his as he steadyies his hips, lining himself up before forcing me to look at him again.
"Are you still sure? " he asks one more time.
My chest is heaving with nerves. "More than," I tell him.
"Thank god, because I don't know how I'd stop myself right now Isobel."
With that, Will spreads my legs further apart, lifting me slightly to meet him before slowly pushing himself inside of me as he exhales. My eyes shoot straight to the back of my head, of all the things I could have dreamt up, he really is the best of them.
Moving slow, he holds me steady as we find our pace. I arch my back, moving my body with him and enjoying every moment of it.
His breaths are short and shallow, like he can't quite control it. Lifting my leg higher, he wraps it around his waist, allowing him to move himself deeper with every thrust.
"I want to hear you Izzy," he says, "don't be afraid to tell me what you want."
This is all I'll ever need. I never knew sex could feel like this. I feel protected and heard. I feel loved. But I know he's holding back, being gentle in a way that I just don't need right now, not if this is the only time I'll have him.
"I want you to show me exactly what I've been missing Will."
He leans back a little, that cocky smile of his that I've come to enjoy now spread across his face. It's all the permission he needed.
He holds me, pulling himself back a little further and driving into me harder and harder while my moans fill our ears. Never mind those damn stars, I'm seeing galaxies.
With his hands clamped to my hips, we moves in tandem together. Our skin is coated in sweat, and the only sounds I can hear are the ones of me calling his name like it's all I was ever meant to do.
I already feel like I'm just about at my max, and as a tingling sensation pours over my whole body, all I can do is brace for it.
"Will, oh god... I..."
He thrusts himself into me again and again as I cry out with pleasure, forgetting that there was ever a moment before this with him until finally he can't hold on any longer either, and we both give every bit of ourselves to each other.
If I thought for a second that I could honestly leave here today without craving him, I was fooling myself. I need this man.
Will dots soft kisses on my forehead as we both struggle for air, clinging to each other as our laboured breaths echo between us.
"I really wanted to do that somewhere much nicer with you," he says, giving the room a once over.
"Don't," I say, stretching up and kissing him one more time, "it was perfect."
I really don't care where it happened, I only care that it did.
"You'll have to let me show you what I mean next time then," he says.
Next time.
A stretched silence settles between us, signalling the impossibility of his words.
Both Will and I know that we will never be anything more than this moment right here.
But at least we had it.